In a perfect world, a breakup would be quick, easy and painless. You and your ex would mutually decide to go your separate ways, and you both would move on to find someone else who is more compatible with you. You would both just take the good things you learned during the relationship and that would be it. But in real life, it doesn’t always happen this way. Many times, a breakup can trigger something inside of you that makes you instantly realize that parting with your ex was a huge mistake. Maybe you broke up with him over something petty, or perhaps it was just bad timing when the two of you started your relationship.
If you’re considering getting back with your ex, you have to make sure your decision is based on all the right reasons. Nothing sucks more than rekindling the romance, only to watch it go up in flames a second time around. You don't want to go running back to your ex just because you're lonely. Keep reading to see our list of 15 reasons why you should give your ex a second chance.
15 You're Older
When you were younger, you probably didn’t realize the amount of work that needed to be put into a relationship in order for it to last. This is why many relationships during your teen and early-20s never seemed to have a happy ending. But as time passes by, you grow up, you mature, and you and your ex may now be better equipped to handle and tackle the ups and downs of an adult relationship. If it has been many numerous years since the two of you went your separate ways, now may be just the right time to give love another shot. This time around, you’re much wiser, you probably view relationships differently, and hopefully you will have a much better outcome in the love department. With age comes a better understanding of how to make a relationship work. So why not give things a go?
14 You're Ready to Compromise
Since you’re trying to weigh the pros and the cons of reconciling with your ex, now may be a good time to figure out if you’re really ready to give the relationship 100%. When it comes to a successful relationship, compromising is something that is essential to a happy and healthy partnership. Perhaps the first time around you were selfish. Maybe you required your partner to compromise, but you yourself were stuck in your ways. In order for the relationship to start off on the right foot the second time around, you have to be willing to give and take just a bit. Giving up anything that is detrimental to your core values is definitely a no-no, but something as simple as putting your partner’s feelings into consideration can make a huge difference when it comes to getting back together with your ex. If you’re ready and willing to make some changes, and you’re open to comprise, then getting back with your ex is a definite possibility.
13 You're Miserable Being Apart
We all go through the motions as soon as a relationship comes to an end. Even if the partnership was less than ideal, it’s normal to feel hurt and sadness as you sever ties and attempt to pick up and move on with your life. But if it has been years since the relationship ended, and you’re still miserable without your ex, it may be a sign that the two of you should get back together. After an extended amount of time apart, the two of you probably realize that being together is what made you feel truly happy and content, and no matter what you do, the two of you just can’t seem to shake each other. If this sounds like your situation, you should definitely consider reconciling with your ex. He just may be the missing piece that really completes you. But there’s only one way to find out. Give him a call and see if the sparks are still there!
12 Your Issues Are Fixable
If you really want to get back with your ex, the condition in which your previous relationship ended is of great importance. A damaging and hurtful relationship that ended in a ball of flames will be more difficult to repair than a partnership that ended amicably. Also, if you dumped your ex because he was disrespectful to you, cheated on you, or threatened any kind of physical violence, getting back together should be the last thing on your mind. Repairing a relationship is easiest to do when the problems are fixable. For example, if the two of you had major communication issues, this time around you can be sure to speak up and express yourself verbally when you’re having a problem. Or maybe your ex was a workaholic previously, and now he realizes the importance of having a healthy work-life balance. Once these issues have been addressed and fixed, getting back together and having a healthy relationship should be a breeze!
11 He's the Best You've Ever Had
You really don’t realize what you had until it’s long gone, and the same can be said when it comes to relationships. Sometimes it takes breaking up for you to realize that your ex was the best thing that has ever happened to you. You’ve done a lot of dating since the two of you broke up, and no one else compares. They’re just not funny enough, you don’t click with them, and you just don’t feel that same spark you felt with your ex. When it comes to being the complete package, your ex was all that and then some, but you didn’t realize it until it was too late. If you really feel deep down in your hear that your ex is the best lover, partner and friend you’ve ever had, then getting back together is definitely an option that you should take into consideration.
10 You're on the Same Page This Time
Sometimes when you’re dating someone, the relationship comes to an end when the two of you realize you’re not on the same page. Perhaps you thought the relationship would lead to marriage, but your ex wasn’t interested in anything longterm. Or maybe you were ready to have kids, but your ex decided he didn’t want to have children. But after breaking up, maybe one of you changed your viewpoint on love and relationships, and now the two of you are finally on the same page. Now is the time for you and your ex to sit down and have an open and honest conversation on what your expectations are, and what kind of relationship you’re looking for. After this discussion, if it seems like the two of you now want the same things in life, getting back together a second time around may be the best option.
9 You Have Unfinished Business
When a relationship runs its course, you feel a sense of freedom, like the shackles have been removed, you can finally breathe, and you’re looking forward to what’s around the corner. But other times, when a relationship comes to an end, it can leave you feeling uneasy inside. It feels like there wasn’t any closure, and the two of you still have unfinished business to attend to. Maybe things ended abruptly, and you feel like reuniting is the only way to fill the emptiness that was left behind. You will forever be asking yourself “what if?” So instead of wondering what could have been, maybe you and your ex can give your relationship another chance. You will finally be able to get the closure you need, and who knows, your relationship may actually be able to stand the test of time this time around.
8 Time Has Passed
Have you ever broken up with a boyfriend, and two weeks later the two of you were back together and dealign with the same problems that broke you up in the first place? This type of reconciliation is bound to crash and burn. You know the saying “time heals all wounds”? It’s true. After a breakup, it’s best to create some distance between you and your ex so that both of you can recover from the heartbreak. As time passes, those wounds will heal, and you will be able to tackle the relationship with a more levelheaded approach. The best relationships start off with a clean slate and a steady foundation, so if the two of you have taken some time to deal with the breakup, getting back together and starting the relationship off on the right foot is something you should definitely consider.
7 Understand Where Things Went Wrong
Sometimes all it takes is for you to remove yourself from a situation to discover where things truly went wrong. When you’re in the midst of a relationship, you have your blinders on. You’re essentially just going through the motions, and mindlessly navigating your way through the ups and downs. But after throwing in the towel, you’re able to really take a step back and realize how you aided in the demise of your partnership. If you can now pinpoint exactly where things started to go on a downward spiral, you will have much better success in making sure your relationship is stronger the second time around. But it takes two people in order for this to work out, so you have to make sure your ex is also aware of how he can make your relationship better if the two of you decided to give love another chance.
6 You're Not Desperate
After a breakup, you’re immediately thrown back into the life of being a single lady. I know you’re probably tired of being alone, having the whole bed to yourself is overrated, and you turn into a complete grinch when the holidays roll around. But deciding to get back together with your ex should be a decision based on love, not desperation. If you’re just anxious for someone to take you off the market, and you’re tired of being single, getting back with your ex is the wrong idea. When you let desperation take charge of your life, you’re bound to make some pretty horrible decisions. And besides, it’s completely unfair to your ex if you’re only willing to give him a second chance simply because you’re tired of being alone. The point is, make sure you’re decision is based on all the right reasons.
5 You're Ready to Prioritize
The first time around, you were so wrapped up in your own life, you simply didn’t have the time to dedicate to a relationship. Or perhaps your ex was the one who wasn’t ready to prioritize his time to give you the kind of attention you really deserved. Now that you’re considering getting back together with your ex, you need to makes sure you’re truly ready to give the relationship 100%. We all make mistakes when it comes to matters of the heart, but if your views on what makes a relationship successful have changed, then getting back together with your ex seems like the best idea. You know what’s important in your life, and you’re ready to put in the work. Things are bound to be successful this time around because you’ll be putting much more effort into making sure you and your partner are happy and content with each other.
4 You've Let Go of Resentment
When a relationship ends on a sour note, resentment is a normal emotion that many of us deal with. Maybe you’re disappointed that your ex didn’t try hard enough to keep you in his life, or perhaps you resent him for wasting the last X amount of years of your life. If you are still keeping these negative feelings inside, rekindling the relationship should be the last thing on your mind. Just realize that people make mistakes, people change, and people grow and evolve over time. If you have forgiven your ex-boyfriend for everything that went down in the past, and you have let go of all the resentment, then you’ve just taken the first step to rebuilding a solid relationship. Now that you’ve gotten that out the way, it’s time to approach your ex with an open heart and an open mind.
3 You Took Him for Granted
When the two of you were together, you thought he would always be there. So maybe you put your relationship on the back burner to focus more on your career, or you would frequently cancel on him to hang out with your friends instead. Now that the relationship is over, you realize how you took him for granted, and you’re ready to make things right. If this sounds like you, then attempting to reconcile with your ex is a definite possibility. You realize that you didn’t give your all to the relationship because you never thought the day would come when the two of you would go your separate ways. If you have come to this realization, and you’re ready to give your ex the attention and love that he deserves, it’s time to open up the lines of communication. But I have to be honest with you, you have some work to do! Convincing your ex that you’re ready and willing to put him first is not an easy task. But if you really want to reconcile, you’ll have to prove to him that you’ve made a change for the better.
2 You Have Healed Emotionally
You will know when you are emotionally healed from your past relationship with a few simple clues. If you can listen to a song that reminds you of your ex without crying, then congratulations, you are healed! And if you can talk to him without bringing up all the hurtful things that he did to you in the past, then you are definitely healed emotionally. Getting to this point takes time though, and until you reach the day where your heart and mind are emotionally free from the past hurt and pain, you won’t be able to successfully reconcile with your ex-boyfriend. But as soon as your heart has mended, and you’re ready to reconnect with your ex, you have to start things off on the right foot. You will need to show him that you are emotionally balanced and able to tackle the new relationship with a sound mind. If you can successfully do this, it will make your reconciliation that much easier.
1 The Timing Was Off
When it comes to relationships, timing is literally everything. Sometimes you need to mature a little more before you’re able to give the relationship a shot, or perhaps you need to be more settled in your career before you’re able to really be the best girlfriend. Whatever the reason may be, if the timing is off, it can be detrimental to your relationship - causing it to spontaneously combust. Many times, couples break up and get back together years later when the timing is just perfect. These relationships are able to last because the two of them are at the right points in their lives to put their all into the relationship. If you feel that your past relationship was a victim of bad timing, now may be the time to give things a second chance. But there’s only one way to find out if bad timing was the culprit. Now’s the time to reach out to your ex and suggest a meeting to discuss rekindling the flame.