The first few dates went great and you were sure the relationship was going to go to the next level then all of a sudden, you stop hearing from him. A total communication cut off. WTH? You could chock this off as bad luck and move on but this isn’t the first time it's happened. Actually, now that you think about it, it’s happened quite a few times.
If you are feeling like you’re repelling men, there’s a good chance that you’re subconsciously sabotaging yourself by doing things that are scaring off your potential boyfriends without even realizing it. Effectively killing your chances of having the relationship you want. But don’t worry these simple dating mistakes are easily corrected. Because sadly, it doesn’t take much to make men bolt just because you made one wrong move. But rest assured if you can avoid these 15 things that send men running for the hills you’ll be able to take your relationship game to the next level.
15 You’re Too Independent
You pride yourself on being miss independent. In fact, your life anthem is Kelly Clarkson’s Miss Independent. And while men do want an independent woman they want one who also knows how to accept a guy doing things for them occasionally. Men like to feel needed. Doing things for you is one of the ways a guy will show you that he cares. So if you have a leaky faucet and he offers to fix it for you don’t get an attitude and tell them you are fully capable of doing it yourself. He’s not saying you can’t, he just wanted to make your life a little easier by doing it for you. Why would he want to stick around if he doesn’t feel like you appreciate him? Just accept it graciously and move on. Honestly, we know you can do it and if you don’t know how you’ll figure it out but let’s be real here, even though you can do it yourself it is kind of nice to have someone else do it for you. Isn’t it?
14 You Intimidate Them
Look, we get it, you’re a strong woman. Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with that. You know what you're worth, you’ve worked hard to get to where you are and you’re the epitome of confidence because of it. You can’t help it that men are intimidated by that. Can you? Well, actually you can. They aren’t so much intimidated by your status or confidence. It’s your demeanor. A lot of women confuse confidence with being rude. You may think that you’re attracting an alpha male but you come off as unapproachable to all men and any man brave enough to take a chance on is often met with opposition. It takes guts to approach an incredible woman like you. Instead of ignoring him and rolling your eyes while he introduces himself, smile and talk to him. You don’t have to marry the guy and after a few minutes, you can excuse yourself. This shows any guy who happens to be around that they can come up to talk to you without fear. Meaning you may just have a better chance of meeting Mr. Right.
13 You’re Clingy
Expecting him to do everything with you is a huge no-no. We know you like spending time with him, but making him feel like he has to constantly be with you, is just going to scare him off. Remember, you don’t need to do everything together. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Give him the space he needs to go out with friends and do the things he likes on his own. If he invited you to come along, go for it. Otherwise, tell him to have fun and don’t make him feel obligated to let you tag along. Constantly asking questions about where he is, what he’s up to, and who he’s talking to may seem innocent enough. But when it crosses the line into prying on his personal life it crosses the line. It is a also a huge turn off for a man. You may think you’re just trying to show interest in his life but for him, this behavior sends up red flags for him that makes him think you are never going to give him space. And when you’re out together stop hanging all over him like you’re attached to him. There’s no need to be possessive. He’s not your property and you don’t have to mark your territory.
12 Too Emotional
We aren’t saying not to show any emotion. After all, you’re not a robot. But if you’re freaking out over every little thing and crying over nothing. Well, that’s not attractive to anyone. If he’s afraid to talk to you because he’s worried he’ll hurt your feeling by saying the wrong thing without realizing it, he’s going to save himself the trouble and move onto someone less sensitive. He wants someone he can joke around with and not have to watch his words too carefully. If he’s playfully picking on you, show him not only can you take a joke but you can dish one as well. He’ll find this really attractive. As long as he’s not being a jerk, play along. Emotional stability is a trait that everyone wants in a significant other. I mean think about it, would you want to be with someone who was in panic mode all the time or cried at the drop of a dime? Probably not.
11 Moving Too Fast
You met him, you decided you liked and the date went great. You know you want a relationship with him so why not jump headfirst into one? Yolo. Wait! Slow it down a bit. You guys just met. He may have seemed like your perfect match during the time you spent together and you’ve already meticulously planned out your lives together. Everything from what you’ll name your kids to the pattern on the curtains that will be in your dream home. But while you may be sure he’s the one, men tend to need more time to decide whether they want to make your relationship official. Go ahead and plan out your future together if you choose. But please, don’t tell him about it. Take it slow and give him some space. That way when he does decide to make your relationship the real deal, he’ll know that you want to be with him and you wouldn’t have jumped into a relationship with the first guy you met.
10 Treating Him Like A Child
Talking in a cutesy voice and calling him adorable pet names may seem sweet to you, but he’s not an infant and would prefer you to speak to him like he’s an adult. You know, because he is. I’ve seen women go so far as taking on a caregiver role right after meeting a guy they liked. Trust me, don’t do that. He’s handled his lunches and laundry this long without you and you really don’t have to start offering reminders and making sure it’s done. Definitely don’t overstep your boundaries and show up unexpectedly to his work with something you thought would brighten his day. And whatever you do, please, I am begging you, do not and let me repeat that. DO NOT wipe food off his face with a napkin over dinner. He’s a big boy. Smiling and telling him he’s got a little something on his face is perfectly fine and as far as you need to take it.
9 Gossiping And Bad Mouthing People
Save the gossip for your friends. Seriously he doesn’t want to hear about it. Like, at all. For a guy, a woman with a lot of juicy gossip is a woman with a lot of drama. Ain’t nobody got time for that. If you’re already telling him your friend’s secrets or bad mouthing other people how can he feel like he can trust you? He can’t. He’s going to feel like you’re just going to run back and tell someone else everything he confided in you. Relationships have to be built on trust. He needs to feel like you’ll keep things private and if you get into an argument you’re not going to bad mouth him to everyone. This is why bad mouthing anyone – yes, even your ex – is something to avoid at all costs. And the last thing he wants to worry about is what you will tell people if you break up before you’re even in a real relationship, because if he is, he’s not going to stick around to find out.
8 Lack Of Confidence
Ladies, c’mon. Stop fishing for compliments. He knows what you’re doing and it comes off so insecure. A confidence boost is nice every now and then but when you act like a meek and shy woman who can’t do anything on your own he’s not going to want the daunting task of trying to make you feel good about yourself. No one wants that kind of pressure. If you are lacking in the confidence department figure out what you need to do and fix it. Don’t rely on someone else to do it for you. It’s not fair to them. You need to feel good about yourself because when you do men will be falling for you left and right- it’s true, confidence is key. Plus, you won’t need to settle and won’t scare every man off because they think you’re going to be too much work.
7 Emasculating Him
Men like to feel strong and powerful. So let him. Why put him down and belittle him. If you like him, build him up. You don’t have to play the damsel in distress card. But if you can’t open a jar, hand it to him. In that moment he’ll feel like your hero. Thank him for a job well done and move on. If he’s not able to do something don’t make him feel worse by rubbing it in his face. Avoid things like “seriously, how are you not able to do that? It’s easy?” Don’t laugh at him and embarrass him. And never compare him to another man, especially if you're comparing him in a way that tells him he’s less of a man than another guy. If you make him feel inferior, he will move on to someone who won’t.
6 Overly Jealous
You’ve only been seeing each other for a short time and you are already trying to sneak peeks at his phone while he’s sending a text, getting angry because he smiled and said thank you when the waitress brought your order and questioning every woman in his life. Calm down. You have no reason to feel insecure. If he’s spending time with you, it’s because he wants to, not because he has to. He likes you. Yes, men are going to check out other women from time to time but really, it’s not like you’re not going to check out that seriously hot guy sitting across the room at dinner who looks like he’s a Givenchy model. The thing is you’re not going to act on it and neither is your guy. He wants to know that you trust him. Give him the benefit of the doubt. If he hasn’t done something to make you think he’s lying to you then don’t treat him like he has.
5 Being Argumentative
Ok, I’m not saying you need to let bad behavior slide. Don’t do that. If a situation warrants you putting your foot down and letting him know how you feel. You absolutely should. But getting mad at everything he does when the situation doesn’t warrant it, is not ok. Don’t be a drama queen. No one likes the drama queen and there is nothing cute about picking fights. You’re not always going to agree on everything. But when you’ve only recently started dating and he suggests a restaurant that you hate. There’s no need to freak out on him. Especially if he has no idea that you don’t like that particular restaurant. Say no, tell him you don’t like it and suggest somewhere else. Easy Peezy right? Don’t make the poor guy feel like he has to walk on eggshells around you or he's going to find someone else.
4 Playing Games
Relationship games, who needs em? No one, so knock it off, K? But seriously just stop. Men hate inconsistency and if one minute you're texting back and forth then you suddenly remember “wait, aren’t I suppose to wait for him to text me first this time?” or “Ok, I have to ignore his text for at least a few hours because I don’t want him to think I don’t have a life.” and then he stops hearing from you. He’s going to be confused. He needs to know that you’re either interested in him or you’re not. You don’t have to make yourself too available but if you aren’t doing anything there’s no reason not to text him back. The reality of it is the only games your guy wants to play are video games and sports. Don’t play mind games with him. It’s just not nice.
3 Stalking Him On Social Media
There’s nothing wrong with following him on his social media accounts but you don’t have to like every single post. That’s bordering on stalker territory. And definitely don’t like his posts from a year ago because, um creepy. We know that you can’t help but to check his page for his latest updates and by all means, go ahead. We’ll never tell. But just don’t make it too obvious that you’re doing it. He really doesn’t need to know that you clicked that little box to receive notifications when he posts something new. It will only scare him off. But you should know, that it is slightly unhealthy to take your like for him and turn it into an obsession. And if he sees you stalking him on social media he’s going to think you’re crazy and forget any chance of a relationship. So keep your social media stalking to a minimum or at the very least hide the fact that you’re doing it and don’t like every post.
Some things should just be saved for when you’re in a serious relationship. He definitely doesn’t want to hear your TMI’s. They’re probably pretty gross anyway. Really think about it, some things are just better saved for you friends. Seriously, there are some things he just doesn’t need to know. Now I know what you’re thinking “But, shouldn’t I feel comfortable enough to tell him anything?” Yes, of course you should, later on in the relationship. When you’re just getting to know someone you don’t want to spill your entire life story complete with all of your most embarrassing moments on the first date. At this point in the relationship you are just getting to know one another and should let things come naturally in their own time. Take it slow so you don’t overwhelm him.
1 You’re Too Available
Making time for him is important. After all, how else will you go from just dating to something serious if you never see each other? But being too available isn’t a good thing either. He wants you to have a life of your own and if you're always ready to hang out with him even last minute, he may start thinking that you don’t have anything of your own going on so you’re going to cling to him. You should have more going on for you than your relationship. If you just got a text from him asking if your busy tonight and you’ve had a girl’s night planned for tonight for a week now. Tell him you’ll have to hang another time. He’s not going to be angry and will appreciate that you have friends and plans of your own. It will even give you something to talk about with him later. Just be fair with your time and schedule a date with him for when your free.