The question shouldn’t be why wearing a bra sucks but rather what is actually good about wearing a bra. The answer to that is nothing. Okay, well, we’ll concede. There are some good things about bras. For starters, bras basically create cleavage. I’ve never met a woman who just naturally had amazing cleavage. For the most part a wonderful push-up bra is needed to create the lift needed for perky, awake breasts.
Another great thing about bras is that, sometimes, bras are super cute. Be it a delicate lace or an outrageous pattern, bras are almost designed to be seen because they are so darn cute. There is also something that can be very sexy about a bra. It’s this private piece of clothing that is usually only seen during your most intimate moments.
All of these perks aside, wearing a bra sucks a majority of the time. One of the greatest feelings in the world is coming home after work and taking off your bra, and there’s a reason for that. To have your bra off feels relaxing. It feels like a release. Honestly, wouldn’t it be great to feel that way, like, all the time?
So, while they may come in cute patterns, provide ample cleavage and be decidedly hot, here are fifteen reasons why wearing a bra still pretty much sucks. Get ready, ladies. You may want to burn your bras after being reminded how much they suck.
15 What Size Are You Even?
We all know our “size” but really, what size are we even? Bras are generally sized by a number followed by a letter, like 32A or 34C. The number refers to the width of your ribs and the letter coincides with how many more inches your bust size is in relation to your ribs. For example, if your breasts are one inch larger than your chest measurement, you’ll be an A. Two inches is B and so forth.
This all makes sense, but it’s also all so confusing and gets even more confusing when a 34B at H&M is totally different than a 34B at Victoria’s Secret. Depending on the store, you could be a 34B one place and a 36A somewhere else. Considering the fact that bra sizes don’t just go up from a small to a medium, it can truly take a while to find the perfect size for you at any particular store.
14 They Never Fit Perfectly
So, after you try on a ton of different sizes, you find the bra that fits your size, right? Well, yes but also, no. You may have found the bra that fits your size best at that store but almost always a bra will never fit you perfectly. One bra may hug your breasts better and another may have straps that fit you better. You’ll most likely spend your life trading in one flaw for another bra-wise.
If you do happen to be lucky and find that one magical, perfect bra, cherish it because you will likely never find a bra so perfect again in your lifetime. Even worse, one day your perfect bra will die from years of wear and tear. RIP, perfect bra. We’ll never know another quite like you.
13 The Marks From Your Bra Digging Into Your Body
At the end of the day, taking off your bra is one small joy that women can enjoy and that men will never know. Yes, we may have to wear these annoying contraptions to look hot but we also get the feel the sweet, sweet release of taking off said contraption.
There is nothing better than taking off your bra, pouring yourself a glass of wine and binging Netflix’s newest show. There is so much yes in that sentence. The one awful remainder of the bra after you take it off is the red marks it leaves on your sink from digging into you all day. You may take off your bra and just think, ‘I am so sorry sink.’ It really does look like it hurts and the crazy thing is that we are all so used to the pain of wearing a bra every day we don’t even notice it anymore.
12 Backless Outfits Don't Work With A Bra
As I said before, bras should be thanked for their ability to give us that hot cleavage. We all know we don’t look like Sofia Vergara but with the help of a great bra, we can feel a little bit like Sofia Vergara, right? There are also other ways to be sexy that don’t involved cleavage at all.
For starters, I think a backless dress is hotter than a dress that is low-cut in the front every single time. Seeing the curves of someone’s back is feminine and seductive. You obviously cannot wear a bra in a backless dress. The whole point of the backless dress is to be, well, backless.
A huge thing right now is also dresses with cutouts. A properly placed cutout can showcase the most perfect case of side boob possible, and well, the whole point of side boob is to not have the sides of your breasts covered up. In the case of wearing a backless or cutout dress, skin wins and bras lose.
11 Don’t Even Get Me Started On Strapless
When talking about why bras suck, there is perhaps no worse bra than the strapless bra. Sure, you may have found a ‘good’ strapless bra, but that’s like having a good case of the flu. You still have the flu and it still sucks. It just sucks a little less. A good strapless bra may suck a little less but it still sucks.
Strapless bras are made to basically stay floating up on your body without any straps. It’s magical. But it’s also not. Strapless bras are tight and rub against the skin to keep it in place. When you take a strapless bra off, it’s red skin central. Even worse, strapless bras don’t even help lift all that much. They’re often very obvious too.
We love strapless shirts and dresses but whoever invented strapless bras had a malicious mind. We’re sure they were trying to be nice and stuff, but strapless bras are the worst of the worst.
10 Ugh, The Sports Bra
Sports bras are another case of someone trying to do a nice thing for us women but the result just sucks. Having your breasts bouncing around while working out is awful so sports bras are a necessity in that aspect, but they aren’t our favorite thing. They are super restricting to the point that it can be a distraction while working out
Oh, and then there’s the issue of sports bras very rarely being cute. They almost always come in black and if you want to buy a cuter looking sports bra, they are super expensive. Who wants to spend $50 on a bra that they are just going to sweat into? No one. You'd probably want to drop that money on sexy bras or maybe clothing that people will actually see.
On top of this, there’s the pressure to work out in just a sports bra. Damn, all those thin girls who do yoga in a sports bra and leggings. That will never be most of us.
9 Fancy Bras Can't Be Worn With Regular Clothing
While you may want to drop some money on a super hot bra, they are often impractical. A nice lacy bra is super hot but the lace material can show through many cotton shirts. If this is the look you’re going for, that can be great but if you don’t want your breasts to look rippled with lace under your shirt, it’s not the best situation.
Super nice bras can also have many straps on the shoulders and around your waist. Sexy bras can literally be a contraption to get into and they aren’t really accessible for daily wear. It definitely sucks that you may end up blowing money on a sexy bra that isn’t able to be worn any time other than when you’re in the bedroom but hey, if you want to wear something super hot for your partner, do it!
8 Washing Bras Ruins Them
Ugh, the eternal battle of washing your bras. Why must this be so difficult? Okay, so first, can we all agree that bras can be worn more than once between washes? It’s odd that women generally wash a shirt after one wear but bras can go months and months between washes.
Then there’s the battle of washing your best bra. You never want to wash your best bra because then you can’t be wearing your best bra when you wash it. The best solution is to wash them on a Sunday when you aren’t wearing a bra at all – that’s not just me, right? It’s the day of rest, even for the breasts!
Lastly, just throwing your bras in the regular wash ruins them. Sure, you can put them in a delicate cycle and then let them hang to dry. That helps them maintain their shape but then it takes a while for them to dry. Oh, the agony of waiting for your best bra to dry. There is just no great way to wash your bras.
7 Bra Colors Showing Through Clothes
The most common color bra that women own is white. White just seems like the easiest solution, though a nude or black color bra will sometimes come in handy. The worst situation is wearing a white bra with a black shirt. Oh, there is nothing worse than the white of your bra showing through that black shirt. It defeats the purpose of the sexy black shirt.
The white bra under black shirt isn’t the only issue. You can’t wear a black bra under any light colored clothing. You also can’t wear a brightly colored hot pink or red colored bra under a white shirt. It’s like you need a new bra for every single shirt, which is super annoying.
If you have a sexy, lacy black bra but know that the sleek, seamless white bra will create better lines under a white tee shirt, what are you supposed to do? That should be a SAT question. For real. It's hard.
6 Pockets Of Fat
Oh, that’s attractive. There is nothing that can make a girl feel less sexy than when her bra creates pockets of fat along her back. Bras are supposed to lift and support, not constrict your back skin to look like awful rolls of fat. Even the thinnest girl in the world can end up having these unsexy pockets of skin along her back if she is wearing the wrong bra.
It’s also difficult to find a perfect bra so in the case that you find a bra that lifts, supports and looks amazing, it could be the bra that creates these little road bumps along your back. That’s another tough decision in a girl’s life. What is more important – perfect cleavage or a bra that doesn’t give you back rolls? If you happen to find a bra that is perfect and doesn’t give you pockets of fat along your back, please let the rest of womankind know where to buy that bra. Thanks.
5 The Cheap Bras Fall Apart
Ah, the cheap bras. They look so cute on the rack. You try them on and they even look kind of cute on your body. You see that they are only $10 and you are sold. A week later, the underwire is sticking out, a strap broke and the bra is losing its shape. Thus is the life of the cheap bra, but it is so hard not to buy it. It’s $10, guys! How can you resist?
Well, you can resist when you wash them once and they fall apart almost immediately. This is the problem with almost all fast fashion. It looks good for a week and then it falls into a tattered mess. Sure, there is a thrill in buying a seemingly cute affordable bra but knowing that it will basically be a rag in about two weeks should help you resist spending your money on an impractical piece of clothing.
4 They’re Expensive
If you’re not spending your money on the cheap bras, you’re probably spending your money on the super expensive bras. In truth, it definitely makes more sense to spend $50+ on a bra that will actually last for a good while. If you drop that money on a bra that you can happily wear for two years, it’s a better investment than dropping $10 on a bra that is only functional for two months.
While it does make sense financially in a way to spend more money on a good bra, it’s still difficult to do. As we’ve discussed earlier, girls may need quite a few bras. You may want a strapless bra, a practical white, nude and black and a sexy lace bra. That’s five bras just for starters and if you’re dropping $50 a piece on them, that’s $250, ladies. It seems like a lot of money to spend on bras, right? It totally is. You could totally spend that money on a plane ticket for a weekend trip. What would you rather do, go on a weekend trip or buy bras? Put that way, you’d probably rather take the vacation.
3 All The Bras At Victoria's Secret Can Feel The Same
Victoria’s Secret is perhaps the most popular place to buy bras in the US and maybe the world. They are mega huge and you can find just about any bra you want there, but the trouble is that Victoria’s Secret bras can so often be the same thing. Walking through the store, you’ll see bras with so much padding, you could take a nap on them. They, of course, tend to have different names (Push Up, Miracle Bra) but they are essentially the same thing. The worst is when the padding is not removable, then you're stuck with the bra that brings your boobs up to your chin.
If you’re looking for a no fuss, no muss bra for every day use, Victoria’s Secret might overwhelm you with the decorative push up bras. They are definitely great for some people, but other people just want a regular, plain bra that does the trick.
2 The Salespeople
Ugh, no. The salespeople. Does anyone else get anxiety when they think about bra shopping or is that just me? They salespeople are just way too helpful. I often feel like they are treating like a fourteen-year-old girl who is buying her very first bra. They are oddly excited and a little too encouraging.
Then, they measure you or, even worse, they measure you with their eyes. Have you ever gotten the ‘you don’t look like a 34B’? Listen, Rhonda, I’ve been buying bras for over a decade and I know I’m a 34B so get your eyes off my breasts and get your paws away from that tape measure. Thank you.
They, of course, mean well. They also probably work off commission so helping you with a sale helps their livelihood. We really get it, but it also still sucks. Most women would just like to wander around the store without being asked 45 times if they need any help or want to have their boobs measured. If only bra shopping were a relaxing experience.
1 Because Patriarchy
Most of the other reasons wearing a bra sucks are more practical but wearing a bra also sucks because patriarchy, right? Why must be transform our breasts into plump, perky visions in order to get attention from men? Sure, it’s not always about the attention of men. In fact, the attention from men is sometimes the worst part. Wouldn’t you love to wear a push up bra and a deep low-cut shirt without having a man’s gaze just oh so not subtly check you out? You may be wearing a bra to feel sexy and look good for just you, but guys will still totally appreciate your low-cut shirt and pushed up breasts.
Listen, what it comes down to is that our boob are ours. They are wonderful body parts if they are small, large, lopsided or what have you. We should love these body parts and dress them however we’d like. If we want to rock a push up bra, we should. If we want to go braless, we should. Bras can sometimes suck because it feels like they are dictating a certain shape that we should all aspire to, when whatever shape they are, they are perfect to begin with.