What is with dudes and being so desperately freaking afraid that a woman they’re interested in is going to place them in that elusive land referred to as “The Friend Zone”. Jeez, man, you open one door for us and then get all huffy when we don’t offer up our bodies in exchange for your niceness? Calm down. What a lot of men don’t know is that this Friend Zone is actually the greatest place on earth. And why is that? BECAUSE YOU GET TO BE FRIENDS WITH SOME PRETTY AWESOME WOMEN IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF. This particular zone has gotten a bad rap over the years because men apparently hate it, but we’re here to tell you 15 reasons why the Friend Zone is basically heaven on earth and that you, men, should stop whining when placed there.
15. There Are Always Boundaries In Place
You know what’s fun for women who only want to be friends with a male? Boundaries – boundaries are a freaking hoot for those of you who have been selected to populate this wondrous place. We have boundaries in life for a reason, they keep us from doing stupid things that we’ll end up regretting later – and we don’t want some guy to end up being a stupid thing we do that we’ll end up regretting later. And if you’re a decent human being and stand-up sort of guy, you wouldn’t want us to have those regrets. Those boundaries are also there to safeguard you as well so you don’t go off and hurt yourself by trying to escape from the zone. Because if you escape, we’ll only end up putting you back there by saying some snappy comment that will make you hate yourself.
14. No Expectations
There are absolutely no expectations in the Friend Zone. It’s nothing like Relationshipville where there are so many high expectations that you expect your partner to live up to. And you know what happens when you fail to meet those expectations? You fall flat on your face and the relationship suddenly becomes damaged. In the beginning of a new relationship there are all sorts of expectations: will she like the way I kiss? Will I like the way SHE kisses? Will I fail her in the bedroom department? Will she live up to the image I have of her in my head? These and many more can go wrong in a new relationship. But there are literally NO expectations here in the Friend Zone – you can’t fail because there’s nothing for you to fail at! Well, except being a good friend. That’s all that’s required.
13. Actually NETFLIX, Forget The Chill
In all those pesky relationships, you have what’s called “Netflix and Chill”, where you invite your girlfriend over to watch a show and then get intimate. You know what’s great about being in the Friend Zone when you invite a girl over? YOU ACTUALLY GET TO WATCH AND FOCUS ON THE SHOW ITSELF. That’s right, fellas – you get to actually pay attention to Breaking Bad this time around and see how Walt offs the great Gus. Didn’t get to watch a few episodes of Stranger Things cause you were too busy sucking face? Well guess what – in the Friend Zone you can get caught up on all your favorite shows and get to watch them with your favorite friend without all that silly kissing nonsense. And, also, you get to stay on your side of the couch with all that space between you. Fun!
12. Friends Hear What Boyfriends Don’t
This is actually one of the best things about the Friend Zone: Secrets. This is one of the true benefits of friendship when you get to hear about all the stuff she doesn’t want to tell her boyfriend. Girlfriends have known this for hundreds of years. We tell our friends EVERYTHING – from what we enjoy in the bedroom, to what we absolutely can’t stand. Men don’t want to think that we share intimate details of our lives with them with our closest friends, but we do. Oh, we so do. We literally can’t wait for the second we can get away from him in order to blab about it with our besties. And guess what? If you have a membership to the Zone, you’ll get to know all these things too! You basically have inside access to our deepest thoughts and fears. It’s really a winning combination.
11. She’ll Lean On You First
Typically, if something goes wrong in our lives, we lean on the person we’re closest to. Sometimes this is a boyfriend, but other times it’s a friend. Friends are the ones we leaned on during the hardship of growing up so we’re familiar with it. Friends were our backbones before puberty hit and the hormones kicked in. If something huge goes down, we want the people we trust the most surrounding us, and if you’re in that Zone and you haven’t abused your privileges by crossing any lines, you’ll be one of those people we want to lean on when something happens. This is when we’re at our most vulnerable and we need a stable shoulder to lean on so we don’t have to worry too hard. I mean, what can be better than that?
10. “Friends First” Is The Dream, Really
All the most romantic stories tend to start out with “but we were friends first.” One of the greatest loves of my life happened to be my close friend six years before we actually started dating. When you’re friends, you already know everything about each other – from your dreams to your intimate secrets, which makes it especially easy to slip right into relationship mode. However, there are always pitfalls in this scenario because what if the relationship doesn’t work out the way you expect it? Can you always go back to being friends like you were in the beginning before everything was complicated up? Can you go back to the Friendship Zone without pining? I think it’s possible. After I broke up with that particular love, we fell easily back into friendship mode. That doesn’t happen with everyone though, but it’s definitely not a myth.
9. The Intimacy Is Genuine
In a friendship, the intimacy is genuine and no one is faking anything. Usually, people in relationships all the time because they don’t want to step on anyone’s feelings. But in friendship? Nope, we’re brutally honest with each other, and that’s one of the benefits of the Friend Zone. The word “fake” is expunged out of a true friendship built on trust because no one likes to be lied to. Sure, it goes double in a relationship, but it’s accompanied by that fear factor. You know the one where you’re constantly worried that your partner is going to leave you or that the other shoe will drop (if you’re self-conscious to a point). But in a friendship? You never have to worry about being left behind in the dust since the genuineness of the friendship is pure like driven snow.
8. Girls Night
Another perk of the Friend Zone? GIRLS NIGHT! That’s right, if we learn to trust you enough, you’ll be invited to one of these ragers. And when I say “ragers” I mean staying in all night, gossiping, and eating junk food. Of course, there are some nights when we like to go out and let loose without all the man drama, and if you’re tucked away in the Zone, we don’t mean YOU drama, so you’re allowed into our secret society. Though if we ladies do go out drinking, you have to promise to be on your best behavior – no trying to make a daring escape from the Zone. You’ll only get slapped and lose all your privileges. But if you’re good, you’ll be invited back for all the get-togethers on and off the town.
7. You Learn To Respect Her Above All
Respect is all we women ask for. This is why the Friend Zone was actually created – because men need to learn how to respect women properly and getting angry when she doesn’t reciprocate your physical feelings isn’t a good jumping off point. When you’re stuck (actually, “stuck” isn’t the proper word – “LUCKY enough” is actually better) in the Friend Zone, you will look at her differently than you did before. She’ll now have a hue of respect glowing around her, a glow that you’re going to want to abide by and earn respect back in return. Respect is the key element in any relationship and if you have no problem being in the Zone in the first place, you already have respect for the woman who you’re friends with.
6. She’ll Become Comfortable Around You
This is a big one. It takes us a long time to get comfortable around a new boyfriend, but when there’s no expectation, it’s easier for us to just be ourselves around our friends. And that includes you. Our real selves come out when we’re around friends and those we feel completely comfortable around, and yes, our real selves can be rather silly and/or competitive depending on our moods. Have you ever noticed that a girl really doesn’t eat around you when you start a new relationship? Nope, not girls who you’re friends with – we will eat the hell out of anything put in front of us, and probably steal some of your food to top it off. Think we’re proper all the time? Nope, not in our comfort zone. Off comes the makeup and on go the sweats and we could give a hoot if you see us like this. We love our comfort.
5. Trust, Trust, Trust
Romantic relationships aren’t the only sort of relationship that’s built on mutual trust – friendship is too. Especially friendship that starts when someone is placed in the Friend Zone. As a woman, my friends are extremely important to me – more so than the people I actually date. I’ve always been a serial dater of sorts, but my friendships are strong ones, so if that’s where you end up as a guy with me, it means I think highly of you and trust you a great deal. It’s not always a death sentence, fellas. Sometimes for a woman, putting you in the Zone is higher than actually dating her. It means she wants to keep you around for a long while and ditto to you if you accept her friendship. TRUST US, THE ZONE IS A GOOD THING.
4. While Yes, There Will Be Pain, It Will Be Fleeting
Okay, so you were taught to believe that the Friend Zone is the worst possible place you can be when you start to like a girl and I’ve given you reasons why it isn’t and why you should be proud to be there – but all the listing and reasons don’t help magically cure the pain you’ll feel because you assume you’ve been “rejected”. No one likes that feeling because there are a billion thoughts of “why” that are rushing through your head as you feel the sharp emotional pains shooting through your heart after you think someone has turned you down. Though, if you’re able to get over that and decide that it’s also worth it to be friends with a woman you once liked as more than just a friend. The friendship will eventually help ease that pain. Trust us.
3. The Jokes Are Endless
Hey, guess what? We women are a freaking laugh riot when we’re around the right people. Pfft, and they said women aren’t funny – we’ll show them. When we’re comfortable with our friends, our random sense of humor tends to come out at the oddest times, and it’s simply unforgettable. Letting loose around our friends is our way of escaping our problems in the real world and allow us to forget any sort of relationship problem we happen to be going through, and if you’re a friend, we’ll attempt to make you laugh in order to make you forget your own problems. Plus – HELLO, inside jokes! You’ll be in on the jokes that we don’t even tell our boyfriends half the time, and that’s always a good thing and you know it to be true.
2. You’ll Learn Things You Never Knew About Women
If you were raised with only male friends, you basically know nothing about women. And no, knowing your mom doesn’t count. Sure, you may have dated a few women who taught you things, but those are relationship things. If you happened to be lucky enough to have a slew of good friends who were actual girls, you’d know things that men who just have girls around for relationship purposes don’t. Like I’ve said before, we tend to be more comfortable around our friends first, so we gab about our likes and dislikes. And, plus, we’re honest with you about what you’re doing wrong (and right) when you’re actually in a relationship with another girl. We can help you avoid those pitfalls and road traps while on the dating road by teaching you a thing or two that you thought you knew but actually didn’t. We happen to be a complex breed if you couldn’t tell.
1. It’ll Make You A Better Person In General
The Friend Zone wasn’t designed to be a fearful place, yet somehow it turned into one. It was supposed to make you a better person and spark some genuine friendships. If a girl says that she just wants to be friends and means it, she’ll find a way to keep you in her life and you should get over your pride and let her. Friendship is, again, a serious commitment and shouldn’t be taken lightly, so all we women ask is stop whining about being placed in this Zone and start seeing it as a positive. It’ll actually teach you how to be a better person… if, you know, the girl CAN ACTUALLY FORGIVE YOU FOR WHINING ABOUT IT. Just like you can’t help how you feel about her, she can’t help how she feels about you. But if you show her that you can be an actual good, decent friend, things may change later down the line. You never know.
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