Whether you’re currently in a relationship or thinking about going back out into the world to find that perfect someone, there are some key things to remember! It’s always good to keep in mind some of the factors that tend to be the most common reason for insecurities in that potential boyfriend! While some of these points will act as a red flag for some before even giving the relationship a chance, please keep in mind that everyone is different and everyone deals with their insecurities in different ways. Everyone out there is like a snowflake, one person's jealousy will vary from person to person. We all have our insecurities, but these are purely based on the issues the media pushes on men across the globe and what tends to be the most common.
Either way, this list will help you sort out what to do if you come across your guy having some issues with these insecurities! Just remember to be patient and talk it over first before going to extremes! You might even find that you feel some of these things towards your partner instead of the other way around and that’s okay! We can always work through our issues and sort them out for the better with a positive attitude and outlook on the world around us. We don’t have the time to have manipulative partners, despite their insecurities that drive them to that state it’s unfair and you deserve better. Don’t settle for anything!
15 Your Talent
Sometimes your own talent can cause envy from your partner. This is quite the sticky situation to be caught in because it’s hard to call out your partner or potential boyfriend when they’re showing signs of not supporting what you do. Whether it’s art, music, writing, or just simple work ethic, it’s highly possible that one of the biggest insecurity causes are because of this. He might say things like, “You’re too good for me.” or “I don’t even know why you date me, you can find someone else better.” and these common sayings can be very problematic. If your partner says things like this on a regular basis and you’re put in the stressful position of trying to convince him otherwise, this could be his way of getting you to admit your flaws and insecurities. It’s a very manipulative process that a person can do to their partner, whether they’re fully aware of it or not.
The stereotypes that are portrayed in the media constantly can make us feel numb no matter what our gender is. Just because we’re in a relationship doesn’t change the influence advertisements have on us daily. Stereotypes such as men having to be ripped or that if men are too skinny or fat that they’re weak. Which is complete BS by the way! But nevertheless, these issues constantly bombard us and they most likely affect your man if he’s spoken about having issues with his appearance. An easy way to help your man get past these issues is to encourage him to work out with you, not to lose or gain weight necessarily, but to just feel good! Everyone can use some toning, it doesn’t hurt even if someone is fit, but by working out and releasing those good feelings of doing something productive, it’ll be a great way to encourage a healthy lifestyle and just overall being positive!
13 Your Exes
Sometimes if you’ve had long relationships with your ex-boyfriends and your current guy knows about them, or worse, if he’s friends with them or knows them personally, things can be a bit rocky at times.
It’s not fair for your boyfriend to bring up the past when it has nothing to do with the current time or the future with you two. It’s a bit more understandable when it’s an issue of still being friends with an ex that had a lot of history, but if your guy is still refusing to be a bit more understanding, that’s where you need to set aside some time to have a talk. Talk about the issues you have with the situation at hand, discuss how you feel about your exes and how you feel about him. In this case, it’s best to have a discussion, but you should never have to explain yourself when you’ve done nothing wrong, even more so when your boyfriend isn’t even trying to understand the situation.
12 Lack Of Friends
A lack of friends can really throw your guy into a bit of a depression, with all the constant pressure of ‘guys’ night.
We’ve all seen it, the beer commercials on TV with the group of guys all having a good time at the local bar or the super bowl ads with all the buddies hanging out and having a blast. These advertisements, basically selling over masculine stereotypes are something that play in the back of the minds of insecure men. Of course, it might not be as simple as just the matter of masculinity and having ‘bros’, but everyone one time or another has wanted to have someone close they can talk to. You might be thinking that you’re that person they can talk to and while that might be the case, it’s also true that many people long of a best friend they can just reveal everything to, sometimes you’re lucky and you’re dating your best friend, but other times it just doesn’t work out like that. A lack of friends can be devastating to most people, it’s a huge problem that will eat away at a person.
11 You're Hot
When you look amazing and feel confident, it can sometimes cast a shadow over your boyfriend and that’s no fault but his own. You should never have to change something about you that adds to your confidence because your boyfriend is jealous of you or the attention you get. If your boyfriend can’t contain his jealousy simply because of the attention you get for being yourself, comfortable, and confident, then there needs to be a change happening. When you’re doing everything you can for a relationship and being 100 percent faithful in all ways, then there should be no reason for a guy to be jealous because of your looks and how you feel within yourself. Try to get him to realize this and start working on self-love! If he can finally come to terms with how he is and feeling comfortable in his body he’s bound to ease up on the insecurities holding him back.
10 Other Guys
Just like the bombardment of media, seeing other guys just on a daily commute to work can really trigger the insecurities of your partner, even if it’s something as simple as how a guy walks or a watch he wears. Being envious is a huge red flag if you spot it in a potential boyfriend! Being content with what you have and earning what you have yourself should be something to be proud of, if a guy watches other people thinking their stuff is so much better than his own that’s a bit of a worry. Showing that you’re upset with what you have is simply ungrateful. There’s no problem wanting to have something, but it takes a dark turn when it’s something you want and what you have isn’t even good enough at any point! A huge portion of insecurity in men stems from this area, wanting more things to prove their masculinity, whether it’s material things or aspects of a relationship.
A very common worry of guys around the world. And we get it for sure!
Balding is a natural occurrence that has put major pressure on guys. It usually starts happening around 25 years old and there is not much you can do about it. Many men have spoken about their fear of losing their hair and the fear of having to just completely shave it all off. The biggest factor in getting this insecurity to disappear is to encourage your boyfriend to start on a self-love journey, learning to accept one’s self is a huge step in the right direction. Sometimes this can be the one issue that causes insecurity to stick around and start affecting the relationship, something as simple as hair can be the deep rooted issue that needs to be sorted out. With enough love and encouragement, your man will be on the path to banishing that insecurity!
Overall, being jealous is never a great thing to have in a serious relationship, and when a guy clings to it after years of dating, there’s something deeper that’s wrong.
The simple yet complicated issues of jealousy, it seems basic at first, but when you look for the deeper reasoning your partner gives you when you call them out, it usually stems from their own insecurities. Like I touched on before, it’s so dire to stay true to yourself and maintain who you are in a relationship. Of course not everything will stay the same, but you should never have to alter your ethics and morals for a person because they’re dealing with their own problems. It’s not fair for a person to place their baggage on you and make you feel as though you need to fix it for them, because first of all that will never last and second, it’s not your job!
When a guy struggles with his body weight or just the natural figure he was given, it can invoke a sense of depression when he wants to wear things he doesn’t feel comfortable in. Even if it’s just purely about fashion and the stereotype of if a guy is into fashion he’s not straight. Something else that’s completely BS! Anyone is allowed to be into fashion or just simply care about their own personal choices when it comes to fashion. Either way, it’s vital that you support your guy if he is interested in fashion, it’s no different than any other hobby. Plus I much rather have a boyfriend that’s interested in fashion and the arts, rather than drinking and partying! Just remember to be supportive, it’s the medicine for helping ease along the process of overcoming insecurities. I know I'd want my partner to do the same for me in the hobbies that made me feel good about myself!
As much as we’d like to imagine that money doesn’t make the world go round, it tends to do so more often than not.
It’s very common to be with a guy that is envious of you making more money than him. Once again falling back to those old-school stereotypes that can really disrupt a relationship. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel pressured because of your significant other trying to encourage you to quit working so hard, while he tries to make more money than you, that’s pure misogynist manipulation! Talk to someone you trust about the situation and you’ll have to make a very tough situation if it continues to be so cutthroat about something as simple as if one person makes more income than the other. You’ll have to choose if you want to work past this issue of insecurity he’s dealing with or if you rather find someone that’s caught up with modern times!
5 The Media
Brainwashing, honestly. The media is constantly telling everyone what they should eat, what they should drink, wear, and listen to. It has varying impacts on us all, but the people who tend to hide the impact it has on them are men. Generally, the past individuals to admit that something has been affecting them emotionally, yet it has a great impact on them everyday. With situations like the balding above, seeing a full head of hair on a ripped man on some workout can really bring out the insecurities with the bones of any guy, whether they admit to it or not. I suggest simply trying to ignore the media, try to tune it out and spend more time working on adventures and self-discovery with your guy! Taking time off from the war of media can really refresh the mind and soul, starting fresh and giving everyone time to acknowledge what they want to work on in peace. It allows individuals to be able to separate what’s an insecurity and what’s not in their life.
4 His Body
Everyone has flaws, but sometimes they take over our mental state and start to make us think toxic thoughts.
Breaking it down even further, it’s important to address with your partner when you feel body confidence issues arising. It’s reassuring to know that one person in the relationship isn’t alone with this sort of thing! Being able to show support towards you boyfriend when it comes to overcoming insecurities will allow him to relax at least around you and not be so stressed out about it. It’s always a nice gesture to tell your boyfriend what you love about their body and just being there to listen to what they want to change can really allow them to put what they say into action. Being open about these kinds of things will really open up all kinds of new doors that can form connections with each other you both might not have imagined! You never know, you might start working out together and honestly, that’s #goals.
3 Your Goals
Your aspirations can be the cause of disappointment in your partner. Speaking of goals and not the good kind, sometimes your goals you have set out for your personal future can really start to eat away at your boyfriend. They can be a huge reason as to why he’s feeling insecure. He might feel as though he’s not doing enough or that there’s no point in trying if he can’t even compare to what you’re doing in this moment of your life. That stress shouldn’t be thrown on you and you shouldn’t let it determine how you plan your future either. This is something he needs to personally work on to overcome. Just reminding him that if he takes it one step at a time, it’s so much easier and allows time for thought, nothing has to be completely planned out! If you tend to ramble about all the amazing things you’re up to, it might be a good idea to kind of back away from that while your man get’s his thoughts in order!
2 Your Busy Schedule
When we get caught up in work, it can sometimes make our partners think we don’t want to spend time with them.
When you have to schedule time in for your partner because you’re so busy, it can make them develop a unique kind of insecurity. They might not admit to it, but it does happen commonly. When two adults are dealing with adult things such as work, school, kids, and each other, sometimes it’s necessary to schedule things to make sure everything is balanced the way it should be. Just because things are written down in a planner doesn’t mean that one partner or the other cares less about their partner! It’s so necessary to be kind to each other and respect each others schedule and what they have to do to succeed, Usually a partner in a relationship is trying to hard to be successful for their partner, themselves, and the well-being of those they care about. Sometimes that success requires sacrifices and that should make insecurities bloom.
1 The Past
The past comes jam packed with all kinds of baggage to deal with, but when in a relationship we sometimes have to get past the baggage of others to really connect. If you really want to connect with your boyfriend, sometimes it is just absolutely necessary to leave behind the past so you both can create your future. Holding onto the past for anyone usually keeps us in a sort of rut in the current time, whether that rut means being stuck in a boring routine daily or even depression. Form a connection with your partner and help them overcome their insecurities the best you can! It might be draining and sometimes there might be nothing you can do and that is okay because the most important thing you can do is show your support and care for them. That support alone will help push them in the right direction.