When you’re growing up, the idea of becoming an adult is alluring. You daydream about the ability to make your own choices, decorate any way you choose, and have the job you’ve dreamed of. Being an adult and becoming independent is a rite of passage you have been looking forward to with excitement and envy, but there are many parts of being an adult that you just didn’t see coming or otherwise weren’t prepared for. While there are nicer ways to put it, sometimes being an adult sucks. People look at you differently when you’re an adult, they have higher expectations of you, meaning more pressure on you to succeed in your life. On top of the social pressures, now that you aren’t relying on your family for financial help, you have a constant stream of bills to pay, a job that may not be what you imagined yourself doing after college, and your social circle has changed. Instead of worry free partying on the weekends with a large group of friends, or shopping sprees with your best friends, you now have more time hanging out at home going to bed early so you can make it to work on time for your big presentation the next day. These 15 reasons why being an adult sucks will show you not just how being and adult is harder than you may have thought, but how to live your life in a way that won’t make you miss being at home with your parents.
15 Independence is Scary
The prospect of growing up is exciting. The freedoms of eating what we want, wearing what we want, and living our day to day lives without the burden of our parents opinion is thrilling, but when we actually gain that independence, the experience can be terrifying. Being independent means we have to make hard decisions about how we should budget our money, spend our time, get to work, and have some kind of social life. Outside of the financial and mundane responsibilities, being independent reminds us that we are responsible for our own happiness. We have to own up to our own success and failures.
14 Having to Start Your Career
You put in the time at school, studied hard, and worked on perfecting your craft. You love your chosen profession and found job openings positions that were screaming your name. The only problem is, the job you were offered isn’t the job you expected. You know your talents are worthy, but being a young adult, you’ve got to work your way up in your chosen career path. Whether you’ve been dreaming of being a teacher since you were a child, or you discovered your love of event planning two years ago, you’ll likely have to take a lower rank position and work your way up within the company.
13 Boring Social Events
If you thought being an adult would mean swanky after-hours cocktail parties after work and clubbing, you may be disappointed to find that many work and social events can be boring AF. You may have to work a booth at an event you’re not very interested in, or are invited to a work function at a fun festival, but you’re stuck behind the booth all day while your friends are able to explore the rest of the event. Instead of going out to the club with your friends, you may find most of your friends want to have boring dinner parties while talking about politics, work, the house, and their marriages.
12 Pressure to Have a “Good Job”
You’ve accepted that working your way up at your job is just a part of life, but it feels like everyone else expects you to be on the fast-track to the top of the company. Even when they mean well, you may hear family members and friends questioning why you’re in the position you’re in (because you’re so much better than that job), or why you didn’t go up for a recent promotion you mentioned was available. Whether you’re happy in the position you’re in or you want to wait to move up until a better position comes along, don’t let other’s opinions throw you off from doing your best in your professional life.
11 Acting “Proper”
Have you noticed that since you became an adult, everyone’s expectations of how you should act have changed? Suddenly, off color jokes and spontaneity are met with looks of disapproval or you’re told that your choices make you look childish. Your job title, social circle, or your family make you feel pressured to look and act a certain way. Adulthood may allow you to choose how to live your life more openly than as a child, but the pressures of acting like an adult can be tough to balance. To keep things balanced, make sure you have friends that you can let loose around and be yourself.
10 Insurance Bills
Growing up, kids often hear about the struggles of paying household bills (“Don’t run the water all day!”, “Turn off the lights when you leave a room!”), but insurance costs can be a shocking expense. While in the United States Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) states that kids are able to stay on their parents health insurance policies until the age of 26, the cost of paying your own co-pays, deductibles, and monthly insurance charges is stressful. Having health, car and other forms of insurance is important in keeping yourself healthy and safe, but when your income is limited to a lower level position, balancing the costs can be a struggle.
9 Vehicle Repair Costs
Having your own car is an exciting luxury, particularly if you don’t live in a city where public transportation is readily available. For all the ways that having your own car is great, there are some downsides. One of the greatest downsides to having a car, is maintaining and repairing your vehicle. While scheduled maintenance costs aren’t usually too costly, unexpected repair bills can run into the hundreds or thousands of dollars. In the past, you may have been fortunate enough to have your family help you with vehicle bills. Now that you’re more independent, those expensive costs fall on you.
8 Student Loan Debt
Your days of college parties and grueling finals week are over. You’ve graduated and you’re excited to be a part of the workforce. Things are going well for the most part, and then you start receiving bills for your student loans. Whether you only took out a few small loans to bridge the gap in your tuition costs or your college education was fully funded by student loans, the added cost of student loans can be a major stressor. Keeping up with your student loan bills every month on top of your other bills while working is stressful, but it’s just part of being an adult.
7 Affording Your Own Place
Renting or buying your own place is a sure sign that you’ve “made it” as an adult. An apartment or home of your own means you’re able balance your money well enough to afford a roof over your head that isn’t paid for by your family. Having your own place is a great accomplishment, but the pressure to have a nice place can be daunting, especially if you’re not living with a partner or roommates. Having a modest apartment may suit your needs when you first move out of your parent’s place, but in time, you’ll likely want something more spacious or with better amenities.
6 Pressure to Get Married
When you’ve been out of school for a while, you’ve got a stable job, a place to live, and you’ve been in a great relationship for a while, it’s likely that your family and friends will start asking you about when you’re going to get married. While the person asking may feel like it’s an innocent (and positive) question, it can be frustrating to repeatedly have to justify why you and your partner aren’t getting married yet (if you plan to marry at all). A strong relationship doesn’t have to equate to a wedding. Don’t let other’s opinions make you feel that your relationship is lacking just because it’s not fulfilling their standards.
5 Pressure to Have Kids
One of the most constant questions you may hear from your family and friends (especially your parents) outside of questions of marriage is the question of when you’re going to have kids. They might be excited for grandkids or they may be playing off the notion that you’ve always wanted to have kids. Maybe you don’t feel like you’re ready to give up your independence, or maybe you want to focus on your career more before having kids. Whatever the reason, you don’t have to justify why you aren’t having kids yet to anyone else, but the constant questions around having kids is annoying.
4 Managing Your Credit
Having good credit allows you to buy things when you need (or want) them, cover unexpected medical or car repair costs, and get approved for various types of loans. If you have had a bad past with credit cards or other loans, it can feel like you’ll spend the rest of your life rebuilding your credit. If you’ve never had a credit card or other loan, you may feel intimidated by even applying for a credit card. While credit problems can be frustrating, consistently paying your bills and being responsible will help you gain or maintain a healthy credit score.
3 Smaller Circle of Friends
From a young age, most people equate popularity with self worth. On social media, it is easy to get sucked into the trap of feeling more validated by a large Instagram following or by how many “likes” you get on a post. While popularity is a hard standard to stray from, the reality is that as you age, your circle of friends gets smaller. While this is a good thing overall, it can make you feel unsure of yourself. Don’t hesitate to meet new people and make new friends, but don’t let the idea of self worth and numbers keep you from being happy.
You’ve got yourself a place of your own and you can’t wait to live life the way that you see fit. No one will bother you about when to clean or what to eat. But keeping up with the costs of this freedom is more than you were expecting. Instead of going out to the club with your friends, you are working late to make sure you can afford your electric bill and your groceries for the week. Bills are a stressful yet unavoidable part of being an adult. The key is focusing on the things you enjoy so you aren’t consumed by the stress of paying for the everyday costs of life.
1 You Know Yourself
For all the aspects of adulthood, there is one part of growing up that makes all the stress worthwhile. When you’re an adult, your experiences force you to get to know yourself better. For all your good and bad qualities, your interests and dislikes, being an adult allows you to really come into your own. If you accept yourself for who you are, do what makes you happy as often as you can, take care of yourself both mentally and physically, all the stress will be easier to handle. If you only focus on the downsides of being an adult, you won’t have the happy, independent freedom you craved in your youth.