Dating 24/7 gets pretty exhausting, plus there's the fact that even though you're single and want to find love, you also have a life to live, too. You can't exactly ignore your friends and family and the new season of Pretty Little Liars just because you want a boyfriend. Well, you could of course, but that would be pretty lame and weird. You've probably heard of the "dating hiatus" before and maybe have even taken one or two of them, depending on how long you've been solo. Taking a time-out from breaking is kind of a tricky thing, and you might not even be totally on board and you might hate the idea. After all, aren't you supposed to be going on more dates, not less, since dating is such a numbers game? Doesn't taking a dating hiatus totally defeat the purpose of, you know, dating? If that's how you feel, you probably want to reframe your thinking, because the dating hiatus can be a really awesome thing for you. Here are 14 reasons to love taking dating breaks.
Seriously, this is the best reason to take a time-out from swiping left and right and chatting online and figuring out dates. You don't have to worry about a guy texting back because you're not dealing with any of that stuff right now. You don't have any first date anxiety. A dating break is basically pure bliss. It's like staring at an ocean view with a book in one hand and a fruity cocktail in the other. Doesn't that sound amazing? Your brain totally deserves a vacation as much as the rest of you, so do yourself a favor and take a week or two off from the chase every once in a while. You'll be doing so much good for yourself emotionally and intellectually, and you don't need to feel any guilt whatsoever. You can just pick right back up after your break and try again.
Or who you want, as the case may be. When you're going on tons of first dates, which you probably are because that, unfortunately, happens to most of us, it can be pretty tough to figure out what kind of person you even see yourself with. When you're dating just to date, who knows if you even like this guy or you just thought he was nicer than the last dude? Don't fall into the trap of thinking a guy is okay because he's not a jerk or a creep or an idiot. He might not be right for you, even if you can't really see anything that's obviously wrong with him. Take a break and think about who you really want to date, and that'll help you so much in the future. Think of it this way: first dates are hard and awkward enough. You want to know beforehand what you really, really want.
When you're single and going on first dates, you tend to put a lot of pressure on yourself to find love. You could be the coolest and calmest person in the world and you might not think that you're doing this. But you definitely put pressure on yourself without meaning to because it's just the way that it works. So it's pretty nice to take a dating break and give yourself some time to chill out, relax and focus on other stuff. If you think this is going to make you feel guilty for being unproductive in the dating world so to speak, forget the guilt right away. You really don't need to sweat this break, because in the future you're going to meet your dream guy and you won't even care how much time you didn't date, so you honestly shouldn't worry about it. This is for your mental health. Remember that.
When you take a dating break and tell your closest girlfriends about it, you're going to be pretty surprised to hear that, yeah, they totally take these breaks too. In fact, it's probably the main way that they date. Everyone can relate to you when you admit that you need a mental time-out sometimes, which should tell you something pretty important. There's so much noise and clutter around finding The One and being "productive" and sometimes it's completely necessary to take a step back. Rome wasn't built in a day, as the popular saying goes, and you can't find your next relationship in a day or even a week, either. It takes time to form real, true connections, so a dating break is completely normal and natural and it won't mess anything up for you.
You might not realize how much your dating life tires you out. You try not to worry or stress about your single status too much because worrying about something that you can't control too much is pretty lame and annoying. But of course, you do worry because that's the way that you are, and you do want to find love sometime in the next century. But dating is really tiring. You have to figure out if a guy that you're chatting with online is worth meeting in person or a total creep. You have to set up the date (ugh). You have to hope that he's not going to stand you up and you have to wonder if it's even a date at all (yup, that's the way it actually goes these days). You can get burnt out pretty quickly, and it's pretty much like having a side hustle or part-time job. So yeah, you deserve the break.
You might think that it sounds all great and relaxing to stop dating for a bit, but won't that stop you from meeting your one true love? What if you were supposed to meet him tomorrow but you took a break and totally stopped that from happening? Nope, that's not the case, so don't worry. It won't be impossible to find another date, even if you're stressing about that. You always got dates before, right? So, of course, you're going to get them again. There's literally no reason why this would just magically stop happening. There are lots of fish in the sea. Sure, you're bound to find some losers, but that's just the way that dating has always been. So go ahead and take a break whenever you feel like it because it won't stop your future love story from being written.
Once you realize this simple fact, it's like the clouds will part and the super blue sky and sun will appear and your thinking about dating will be totally changed forever. No one has a clue how to use an app properly. No one knows how to ask someone out in a non-awkward, non-creepy, totally and completely normal way. This is actually true of both genders, and sometimes guys will even admit to you that they don't really know what they're doing, which can be charming or creepy, depending on the guy and the situation. Everyone is just as confused and frustrated and annoyed about the whole deal as you are, so you might as well take a time-out every once in a while. It's pretty understandable.
If dating feels totally bothersome to you, you probably think of it as a necessary evil. You know that you have to go on dates if you want to be in a serious relationship because you can't exactly just snap your fingers and close your eyes and wish for a boyfriend to appear right before you. But wouldn't that be super awesome?! When you take a dating break, something totally weird and funny will happen, and it might be unexpected: you're going to actually want to go on dates again. Yes, really. You'll think of dating as fun again and you might even enjoy the next first date that you go on (at least a little bit). It's totally worth taking a dating break for that to happen because the entire point of dating is to have fun, although that definitely gets lost in translation about 99 percent of the time.
Let's be real here: dating takes up a ton of your time... and sometimes that's even before you go on even a single date! Crazy to think of it like that, but here we are. When you stop going on dates for a little while, you will honestly be so much more productive. You'll focus your energy on other things like your day job or quitting your job to start your own business or even just building up a nice little side hustle that you've been dreaming of for years now. Your future self will thank you for taking this dating break, even if you're not super convinced of it at first. When you do start dating again, you'll be glad that you took the time to focus on other things to move your career and life forward, because as they always say, you can't fall in love if you don't love yourself and have all your stuff together beforehand. Well, you can, but it'll be a total mess and no one wants that.
Getting super stressed is not the most fun thing on the planet, and it can actually have really awful consequences for your health. Stress can make you feel completely burnt out and like you can't handle anything in your life at all. If you feel overwhelmed, you won't be able to actually focus on the guy sitting across from you drinking a beer on your next first date, and if you can't have fun or be yourself, there's no point going on any dates at all. So you might as well take a break and then go back when you're feeling like yourself again. If you get stressed out from having too much on your plate, it's a good idea to chill out for a bit. Everything can totally add up, and that includes adding dating to the mix. You're already so busy with work and family and friends after all. So give yourself permission to relax.
Here's the truth: you might think that you're moving your life forward by going on tons of first dates all the time. Yeah, you kind of are, but not really, when you think about it. You don't need to go on every date that is offered to you, you don't have to say yes to every guy who asks you out, and in turn, you don't need to ask every guy you chat with or message to grab a drink. You really don't. You don't need to date just to date -- you should go on a new date because you're interested in meeting this guy in person or sending more one-on-one quality time with him if he's someone that you know or that's already part of your world somehow. In the past, going on more dates just meant going on more bad dates, right? So give yourself a break and stop with the constant dates and your love life will totally benefit.
The thing about dating is you tend to put a ton of pressure and weight on something that you really can't control at all. Sure, you can be proactive and get an app or make an online profile or ask to be set up by your friends, family, and coworkers. You don't have to sit at home and never go on any dates just because you never tend to meet anyone worth dating (or anyone at all). But you don't need to take it all so seriously, because, at the end of the day, no one really cares about anything except that they finally met someone they can talk to, are attracted to, and can connect with. No one will care that you met via an app or that you went on five dates before that magical first kiss and took things super slow. So go ahead, take a break and you'll automatically approach dating with a more playful attitude, which will be a big help.
The thing is, going on tons of dates doesn't make you super interesting because each Friday or Saturday night that you spend making awkward small talk with a total stranger in a bar is another night that you don't spend doing something cool. When you stop going on dates for a bit and start doing things that are more fun, you can work on a creative project you've been waiting to start, sign up for a running group or photography class, learn to cook, learn to bake, take a road trip... Or even just watch that TV show you've been hearing is so amazing and that you've been waiting to get a chance to catch up on. Think of this way: you'll not only have an interesting experience but you'll also have something to talk about on your next first date. Which is always great because it can honestly be hard to come up with first date convo topics.
Self-confidence and dating are pretty much a match made in heaven, and you figure out pretty quickly that if you keep going on first dates with zero confidence, you're not going to find true love... or even a second date. You really have to feel good about yourself. Taking a dating break can definitely make you see yourself in a different, much more positive light. You won't be worrying about what a new guy thinks about you -- whether he likes your job, agrees with your favorite TV shows, etc. -- and you'll focus on what you really think and feel about everything in your world. So go ahead, give yourself a chance to get to know yourself once again without needing to meet new strangers all the time, because that's actually what dating is, even though we don't usually think of it like that. You'll be so much better off -- and just might find love pretty soon.