In this crazy dating world, second dates are pretty rare (unfortunately). You hate that this is true and yet you know it always works out this way. You want to see someone again if you got along with them, laughed, talked easily, and felt a real connection. Why would you waste your time seeing someone a second time when none of those things happened? Wouldn't that be a horrible idea? Well, maybe it's not actually the worst idea ever. The problem with all this is that while it's always super confusing whether or not you should go on a second date, you eventually have. You just do. Otherwise, you're never going to actually have a relationship since relationships kind of need second dates... and third ones... and so on. You get the idea. Here are 15 reasons to go on more second dates. You won't regret it. You really won't. Promise.
15 You Never Know
People always say "you never know" when it comes to dating... and in this case, those people are definitely right. You just have no idea what's going to happen to you in life, and when it comes to your romantic future, that's 100 percent true as well. You could meet the love of your entire life on your next first date... or the biggest loser that you never, ever want to see again. Either one could happen. But since you don't know what's going to happen, you might as well stay positive and hope for the best. If you go on more second dates, whether that means initiating them yourself and seeing what happens or accepting second date invites, then you're upping your chances of a real love connection since you're saying to the universe, "Okay, I'm ready, bring it on." Sure, sounds super cheesy. But it works and it's going to get you a boyfriend a lot faster than just going on only first dates.
14 You Should Take The Risk
It's always risky putting your heart out there. There's no way that dating wouldn't be risky since it definitely means being vulnerable in some shape or form. First dates aren't really all that risky because hey, if you hate the person sitting across from you drinking beer, you can call it a night within an hour (or even half an hour if things really, really suck) and head home and never think about it again. Or at least try to never think about it again. Second dates are riskier because you're one step closer to dating them for real if you two hit it off, and you want to make a good impression a second time. You know that if this date goes well, there will be a third date, and another one, and another one. And that means putting yourself out there. But you should take the risk because if you find love, it's going to be worth it.
13 You Can Really Get To Know Someone
First dates kind of suck because you barely get to know the person. Okay, so they suck for a whole number of reasons, but this is definitely at the top of the list. You can ask the same old questions about this guy's job, education, hobbies, interests, etc. And he asks the same stuff about you. You talk about the same kind of stuff that you normally do and it's rare that there's a ton of excitement. Also, you're both pretty nervous, so it can be hard to really get to know someone when you're feeling that way and when they are, too. But on a second date, you already know each other, and all that awkward stuff is (hopefully) out of the way. You can really get to know someone when those first date nerves have gone out the window and that's a good thing. You just might like what you see and hear and find out and then you'll be so glad that you went.
12 You Should Get In The Habit
Anything in life becomes a habit if you make it part of your routine. If you're used to only going on first dates that don't lead anywhere, then that's probably what you're most comfortable with. You feel safe with this because you figure hey, if something happens, cool, and if not, no big deal. But you should definitely get in the habit of going on more second dates. It's just a smart thing to do. This will stop all the agonizing questions in your head about whether or not someone is worth seeing a second time. You'll figure that if they're not a total jerk or loser or rude to you, then they're worth a second chance, and that's a good habit to get into. The more second dates become a part of your dating life, you'll stop worrying so much and you'll always want to get to know someone as well as you possibly can before making a real decision.
11 You Don't Want To Be Picky
You probably don't want to be picky when it comes to the guys that you date. No, you definitely don't want to be. The thing is that you're absolutely not perfect (sorry to say it but hey, you already knew that) and so you can't expect any guy to be, either. Flaws and quirks are what make people interesting, and that's a much healthier and more positive attitude to adopt when you're dating. Instead of nitpicking and finding reasons not to see someone again, focus on what's good about them and focus on getting a second date if that's in the cards for both of you. If you can go on more second dates and make the effort, you'll stop picking people apart and you'll start actually seeing them for who they are and respecting it and maybe even liking it. And once that happens, who knows what is next for you?
10 You're Giving Off A Vibe
When you go on a lot of first dates and rarely any second ones, you kind of give off a vibe. It's not super obvious to you but it might be to the people that you're dating. They think you're stuck-up or too confident or that you just don't think that anyone is ever good enough for you (yup, that picky thing again). You don't want to think this way or make people believe this about you, do you? No, definitely not. So stop giving off this vibe and start going on more second dates. Even if they don't work out and you're still single and still going on more first dates, that's totally okay. It's not the worst thing that could happen. You're still putting out good vibes into the world that you want to meet someone and that you're serious about this whole finding love thing, and that's never going to be a bad thing to do.
9 You're Afraid For Nothing
You probably turn down second dates because you're scared. You're scared of getting close to someone new, of getting hurt, of having a terrible evening, of just never finding anyone that you really care about. But guess what? You're afraid for absolutely nothing. You really have zero reason to feel this way because if the first date was okay or even good enough to warrant a second date, that means the second date can't be terrible. It just can't. It just doesn't work that way. Two things will happen: you will realize that this guy is good and decent but not the one for you, or you will like him even more and be thrilled that you went. It's really a no-brainer -- if the first date is enjoyable, you have to see the person again. You just do. Dating is so tough and it's so hard to find someone that you feel that way about, so don't let them go.
8 You Should Try Something New
If you never go on second dates, then it's time to turn that around ASAP and start going on them. Sure, you may not always get one when you suggest to the guy that you should see each other again, and sure, you might not even want to see every person again. Okay, you definitely won't. But it's not a bad idea to be more open to the idea of second dates. Honestly, nothing is going to happen. You're going to see a movie, or grab drinks again, or get dinner. You'll drink, eat, talk, and hopefully laugh and hopefully get to know each other better. If that doesn't happen, then what's the big deal? You can just go back out there and try again. That's what you would have to do if you were only going on first dates, anyway. You've been there before and you've done that and it's not a big deal. Seriously, you can handle second dates.
7 You Will Learn More About Yourself
The best thing about dating is that you get to know yourself as well as the guys that you're going out with. You figure out that if you drink one more glass of wine than you're used to, you want to go to bed immediately and you may as well have just not gone out at all. You learn that you don't want to do dinner for a first date and that drinks are where it's at (but as long as you cap it at one or two drinks). You realize that you don't want to just answer lame question after lame question about yourself and that you need to make more of an effort to steer the conversation into a more fun and casual and relaxed place. You know what kind of people make you uncomfortable and what kind of behavior you really don't like at all. It's good to go out with as many people as possible and learn more and more about who you really are, and going on second dates can help you figure that out.
6 You Will Know Who You Want
You've definitely had the strange experience of going on a first date, liking the guy, and seeing him again... and then really not liking him at all. It's like he's a completely different person on the second date and you don't even know how that could have happened. And you definitely just want to leave ASAP and drown your sorrows in a good binge-watch. But the best part about going on more second dates, even when they're not super great (and especially when they're not super great) is that you will really know who you want. You'll figure out that things happen and people will disappoint you and you can't really think that anything is set in stone. You will know that you're not into guys who complain about everything under the sun, who are rude to servers, who make jokes that are more insulting than funny... You get the idea. Unfortunately, some people will be on their best behavior on the first date and then that will all go out the window. But it's a good learning experience.
5 You Can Be More Chill
The thing about a second date is it's definitely not as nerve-wracking or formal as the first one. So why not take advantage of that, go on more second dates, and do a more low-key activity? You can grab coffee at your fave cafe or try a new one. You can go for a walk around your neighborhood or show this guy your fave local park. You can see a movie, go to a festival, go to a bookstore. The list is totally and completely endless. You can even do this on a Sunday afternoon so it doesn't feel quite so much like a more formal date. That's not the worst idea since when you're at a more formal restaurant or something like that, it's pretty difficult not to get totally freaked out and nervous. But when you make the second date more casual and calm, you're giving yourself a chance to breathe and be yourself.
4 You Will Feel Great
The thing is that when you go on a second date, even if it doesn't end up in a super happily ever after type of place, you feel pretty good about yourself. Actually, you feel great. For just a second, it makes you feel like your dating life isn't so terrible after all and like it's even possible to meet someone in this crazy dating world and in this day and age. You feel like you've done something right and like you're like all those other people in the world who end up going on first dates, then second dates, and then enter a new relationship. So hold onto that excited feeling and don't let it go, even if the date doesn't end up super well. You can just keep putting yourself out there, keep going on first dates, and try to go on more second dates even when you normally wouldn't. You won't believe how cool this feels, no matter what the outcome.
3 You Can Double Date
Remember the double date? It seems like a relic of the past... or like something you used to always see on 90s teen TV shows. But hey, going on a double date is really pretty fun because it totally takes the pressure off and it doesn't force you to spend the entire time talking to this new guy and trying to figure out if you even like him or not. You can go with a friend who's in a good relationship or a friend who's just started dating someone new so you're both in the same boat. Chances are, she's going to be pretty thrilled that you suggested this and will wonder why she didn't think of the idea herself. And again, even if the night doesn't work out the way that you planned, that's okay. That's totally and completely fine. You will still feel good that you tried and gave it a shot, no matter what happens.
2 You Have Nothing To Lose
When you turn down a second date or don't suggest it when you get the vibe that this new guy is into you but seems too shy to ask you out again, you're acting like something bad is going to happen. But it really won't. Because think of it like this: you've been on boring or bad or even horrible dates before. And as long as you stay single, you will go on those types of dates again. It's just going to happen, and that's just the way that it is. But the truth is that you have nothing to lose. You have absolutely nothing to lose. Go on more second dates and see what happens. You might figure out that this new guy is the love of your life. You might realize that yeah, he's cool but he's not for you. You might like him a little bit more and date him for a while and then realize he's not the one for you. And hey, you might decide to never see him ever again. But you don't have a boyfriend now and you really have nothing to lose by going on a second date.
1 You Will Have Hope
The awful thing about dating is that it doesn't always give you a whole lot of hope... and that's probably a pretty big understatement. You have some hope that you can meet someone and be in a relationship and maybe even fall in love (yeah, what a crazy concept). You hope that the date will go well, and you hope that you'll get a third date out of the whole deal. But even if things don't go that well, you still have hope and you're not totally giving up yet. That's because you have another kind of hope: hope that the next first date you go on leads to a second one... and a third one... and so on. You won't believe what a major difference having some hope when it comes to your romantic future will be. You will be so much happier and feel better about yourself and your prospects. Doesn't that sound good? Now go ahead. Go on more second dates.