Social media is the weirdest thing to happen to us. Seriously, just think about it. We used to be able to go anywhere and do anything without thinking about other people all that much or (the worst) comparing our lives to others. We didn't feel completely tortured by a tiny screen, and we didn't feel like our phones totally ruled our lives. It was a simpler, much freer time, and we often look to the past as a much better time. That definitely explains our obsession with the 90s (besides the fact that plaid and Friends and Dawson's Creek are the best, of course). But social media has also changed the way that we deal with the relationships in our life -- the romantic ones in particular. We not only have all kinds of apps for dating (who would have thought that would become so normal?!), but we also share every moment of our romantic lives on our Facebook and Instagram accounts. That is especially true of when we get engaged. But all this sharing and connection has a pretty negative effect. Here are 15 reasons why social media is ruining our desire to get engaged.
15 Enough With The Ring Photos
OMG. Is there anything more annoying in this world than when our Facebook friends post ring photos? Probably not. Wait, we found something: the ring selfie. As in, a photo of just someone's engagement ring, as if it's a celebrity or something. Ring selfies can also be a woman holding up her ring with a super (fake) shocked expression on her face. We're so over it. It makes us not want to get engaged at all, because we don't want to post that kind of stuff. It's just super lame and makes you look pretty desperate and full of yourself. We also don't want the pressure from family and friends telling us to please post some ring photos already, because we know that they're going to be on our case 24/7 until we finally give in and post some photos so everyone can oooh and aahh. Ugh, not happening.
14 It's Too Easy To Compare
So if we do get engaged, our poor fiances are going to basically want to break up with us immediately because we're going to get so upset looking at everyone's beautiful wedding photos. It's like a requirement that you have to have a completely Instagram-worthy wedding or something. We see our friends posting pictures from their friends' bashes and we can't believe the chocolate fountains, the lavish flowers, the drunken dancing (well, okay, that last part does seem pretty fun). But we would never stop comparing ourselves to other brides and wondering if we were doing enough to make sure our day was special enough. It would be never-ending and wouldn't be great for our mental health.
13 We Don't Want To Share So Much
So we've already established that we would rather go to the dentist or do something equally horrible than share ring photos on Facebook. Well, that's not all we don't want to share. We don't want to share much about our engagement/marriage or even relationship. So whether we're happily single or happily coupled up or somewhere in the middle, we're not so quick to bug our boyfriend about why he hasn't gotten down on one knee yet. It seems like you basically are required to share every moment of your engagement story, wedding planning, wedding and how marriage is going on your Instagram, Twitter and Facebook accounts, and that's just not for us. What happened to privacy? What happened to keeping some things to yourself? It just doesn't make sense to us.
12 Being Single Is More Fun Now Than Ever Before
Gone are the sad single women who couldn't get a husband and were destined to live alone with tons and tons of cats. Nope, that's not the story of single women in 2016. Instead, we're having tons of fun. We're hanging out with friends when we want and hanging with ourselves when we need a break from the real world. We're watching more TV than ever (thank you, Netflix, we love you!) and basically enjoying our alone time in a way that never really seemed possible before. We're curating our beautiful Insta accounts and following inspiring single women who are doing amazing things in work and life. So whenever we get down about being solo, we can just hop on over to Instagram and feel inspired and happy once again. Who needs a ring?! Not us.
11 We Have The Ultimate Distraction
Whenever we think that we should probably go ahead and get married and make our moms super happy in the process, social media comes along and distracts us. We can look up hilarious and cute animal videos on YouTube. We can look up any food that we want on Instagram and drool. We can messenger our BFF on Facebook while we're both at work and chat about anything that we want. We can tweet our fave celebrity and follow the craziest Twitter feud that's captivating the world's attention right now. The world (of social media) is totally our oyster, and we wouldn't want it any other way. So social media is a huge, huge distraction for whenever we consider getting engaged. Then we just go right back to being social media obsessed and forget about our single status. Sorry, mom.
10 People Cheat On Facebook
Lately, we've read too many articles about so-called "Facebook cheaters" to ever be okay with getting engaged. At least not right now, and not for the foreseeable future. Apparently people are having online affairs with guys via the popular social networking site. Really?! It seems so junior high to do that, but okay, we guess it's true or people wouldn't be so up in arms about it. We would be super paranoid if we got engaged around now, because we would think that our BF would be Facebook cheating, and we would be worried that we would do it, too. It's just one more annoying, upsetting thing to worry about, and who needs that? There are enough difficult things in life. Plus we really, really love Facebook, so we don't exactly want a reason to hate it or never want to log on ever again.
9 We Don't Want The Judgement
The other side of sharing our engagement on social media? Judgement from friends, acquaintances, coworkers, ex-college roomies and perfect strangers, too. It's pretty unavoidable in this culture, but we just know it's going to happen. If we post our ring photo and say our wedding isn't for two years (because we're focusing on work or buying a condo together or traveling or whatever we want to do), people are going to comment like no tomorrow about why we're doing that. We're going to get tons of unsolicited advice and who has time for that? Life is so busy and full, we can't imagine having our social media feeds ruined by such annoying comments and questions. It sounds like a special version of hell.
8 There's Too Much Pressure
Apparently our wedding day is supposed to be the most special and the most important day of our life. Really? That's just so much pressure. That's more pressure than we can deal with right now, and frankly, we don't think we would ever be able to deal with it. But beyond the pressure of making our fiance and family and finance's family happy, there would be the pressure of making our social media followers happy. We would want to post the prettiest pictures possible, but again, that seems nuts when we should be enjoying our special, super important day. We don't see who our wedding day would be a celebration at all when we would be wondering how to frame everything into a pretty little picture for our Instagram feed.
7 It's All Been Done Before
It's hard to post a super unique engagement photo, chat about our wedding plans and post photos of the big day when it's all been done before. And it's been done before so well, too. Our friends and old college classmates have all gotten engaged and posted the best photos possible, and we commend them, we really do, but we don't think it's worth it for us. It's impossible to be original and genuine when what we're doing is absolutely nothing new. Who wouldn't want to be original and genuine? Exactly. We really feel that social media has completely ruined the idea of getting engaged and married for us, and we're not thrilled about that fact, but we just don't see it ending anytime soon.
6 We Value Our Privacy
If anything, we would want our engagement and wedding to be incredibly private. It's not that marriage doesn't appeal to us, it's that having to narrate the entire thing on Facebook and Instagram sounds absolutely ridiculous. We would love to elope or have the ceremony in a super secret location so no one would know or post about it on Facebook. That seems like a lot to ask though in our social media obssessed and addicted world. But it's maybe an option worth thinking about. We kind of think that our friends and fam might understand since everyone gets fed up with social media sometimes, right? Is it so weird that we value our privacy and don't want everything to be posted and shared and liked?
5 There's No Romance Anymore
What happened to romance? To a real, genuine connection with another human being that is your best friend and soulmate? To being super excited to spend the rest of your life with someone who lights up your entire universe and makes you feel like the greatest possible version of yourself? Oh yeah. Social media happened. Okay, so it's not like there is no potential for romance ever in this world, but it sure seems like it thanks to social media. Now when our boyfriends propose, we don't simply cry and scream and grin and enjoy the moment with him. Nope. What do we do? Post it to Instagram and Facebook. Honestly, we should be super ashamed of ourselves. Can we not experience anything for ourselves without the need to share it?
4 It Seems Fake
When a Facebook friend gets engaged, well, we hate to admit it but we're never happy about it. Not that we want them to be alone forever or anything like that. But we never really know if it's just all for show or not. Getting engaged seems super fake these days, because we as a society have totally made it that way. We've proved that in order to be taken seriously, we have to post stupid ring photos and have our friends comment that it's so fabulous and amazing and whatever else. Why would we want to be part of something that's fake, not real, and just for show? Who are we trying to impress? We don't need that. We can impress ourselves, thank you very much.
3 We Want To Unplug More
Unplugging is nothing new. For decades, people have been going on vacation and leaving thoughts of work behind (well, for the most part -- that's the hope, anyway!). They've been going camping on the weekends and just generally trying to enjoy nature, especially in the spring and summer months. But now, unplugging is a super hot topic since we're all so addicted to our iPhones and laptops. We can't go a single second without checking Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, and while we love those social media feeds, it's pretty stressful to keep up with everything. So since we want to unplug on evenings and weekends, we think that getting engaged would just make us want to spend even more time on social media, not less. We would want to talk to our friends who've been there and go through their feeds to see updates and photos. That's just not what we want right now.
2 We're Too Busy
Look, let's just be honest here for a minute. When are we going to have time to not only plan a wedding but also keep our social followers and fans up to date on every single thing that's going on?! Yeah, that would be never. We need more hours in the day and we can't schedule one more thing on our to-do lists. We just can't. So nope, getting engaged just isn't in the cards for us right now, and we're not even sad about it. We want to enjoy our lives the way that they are and not get caught up in sharing anything more than we already do. We think our BFs understand (or our non-existent BF if we're still single).
1 What's The Point?
Basically, we just can't for the life of us understand what the point of getting engaged is these days. Is it for love? Okay, we get love and all, but we can be in love with our boyfriends and live happily ever after without a ceremony that gets posted all over Facebook. We've come so, so far in the past few decades as women and we can accomplish and do so much more than our predecessors. We appreciate that and love it, and so we don't need a husband to live life to its fullest. We're getting married later and later, anyway, so maybe everyone feels this way. All we know is that until those dreaded ring photos and selfies stop showing up on our Facebook feeds and we're forced to see Insta photo after Insta photo of perfect wedding days, we might hold off dreaming about our own big day. We can always change our minds later, right?