Times are tough right now for women in the United States. Not just financially, either. In the rise of backlash on political correctness, outspoken chauvinism has regressed us into more puritanical ways, and it scoffs at the women who want to live a “free life”. Why do we judge so much? What brings that out when we all have vices we need to work on? But, why? Why do we need to work on our vices? Obviously if there is harm to others or harm to ourselves, it won’t be healthy. But what if that is not the case?
Turning the corner by not making a women’s need for a physical relationship a negative thing, America still has a super long way to go. We have yet to allow women to enjoy intimacy as a strictly physical act—the way men are essentially allowed to. We need to shed these puritanical frocks and get down to business. What is really going on here? When are we going to admit that female has physical needs and that it's okay as long as she is a willing participant in the escapade?
Growing up in America, we were taught that when a woman uses her sensuality for financial gain, it is called something else—prostitution. But turning this around, and being someone’s mistress has better appeal to most. Probably because the woman doesn’t necessarily have a formal way of transacting business, but you’ll see that “mistressing” a pretty lucrative business in this day and age. Let’s not forget that having one mistress is far less of a burdensome risk than multiple partners are for a man, too. Here are some of the perks of man-sharing!
15 Might As Well Get Some Tiffany's Bling Out Of It
Let’s face it; if a woman is going to be physically active and not have a relationship tie, she might as well get something out of it, too. Sometimes, mistresses have separate houses, cars—or even their own families. Playing house is basically what they get to do, while they dabble in a relationship that will never come to fruition.
It might not mean a luxurious new house, but rather a place to live that is pretty much paid for. It will give her enough to be able to afford nicer things, and pursue dreams she wouldn’t normally chase after if someone weren’t supporting her. Even if the man isn’t providing that much for her, she has someone to share a financial burden with, and that makes the difference in her every day life.
14 No Attachments
Having a man to take care of your emotional and financial needs isn’t really a bad thing. She might even be the breadwinner. So, emotionally she wouldn’t have anything owed to. She wouldn’t have to have any emotional attachments, as long—as in any relationship—she is up front about her expectations for the future.
Many times, the mistress herself is the person with the monetary upper hand, and he is literally along for the ride. In which case, she has a new guy she can mess with for a while. Either way, she doesn’t have to stay with him. She most likely knows what she is getting into when she starts the affair. So, she has set herself up for no attachments. If she doesn’t have any attachments; she will be able to let it go when things go south.
13 It Makes Two People Happy
When two people are having a good intimate connection, it is always a good time for both—no matter how fleeting the relationship might be. He is more than likely getting something from his mistress that he doesn’t get at home with his wife. Whether it’s a stress-free afternoon or a good roll in the hay, it makes him happy, which makes the mistress happy.
This affair may be nothing more than a good physical connection without any other feelings about it. The other feelings would be: guilt of the affair on both sides, being ashamed of their relationship, and also fear of getting caught. Surprisingly, it can be a win-win situation. If it is possible for both parties to overlook the negative feelings, then they will both come out on top!
12 Times Are Tough
Right now, let’s face facts; there isn’t really a great market if you’re thriving to be part of the 1 percent that make up America’s wealthiest people. So, why not do the next best thing and be a freeloader or the co-owner of a business? She wouldn’t even necessarily need a product to sell or produce!
Being a home wrecker is not that bad if she doesn’t have a conscience. Also, if she isn’t taking anything directly from the wife—other than taking her husband a few times a week—, then what’s the big deal? Right? His loyalty to his wife—or lack thereof—isn’t her problem. If he wasn’t shacking up with her, it would be with someone else. Why pass up the goods he has to offer in these tough times?
Nothing is that bad if a person doesn’t have a conscience. Many people acquire money from illegitimate means by selling drugs or stealing. Being a mistress provides a symbiosis for the married man and the financial partnership for the mistress. It’s a smart way to go, if they can both stomach the deeds.
11 It Might Make His Home Life Happier And He May Not Have To Call The Divorce Lawyer
Usually a man seeks an affair because his wife is withholding intimacy or friendship, or even money. Whatever is deprived of at home, he gets with his other woman. The mistress is then revered as a miracle worker—a kind of physical hero to the man. Even though she knows he will always go back home to his wife and kids, she has these moments where she wins for a little bit.
But, now that he is regularly getting some action in the bedroom, he is more relaxed, which makes him more chill around his wife and kids, too. So, that means he is probably getting more at home, too. As long as his mistress is okay with her faux beau putting his—you know—in someone else (she should be, they started out this way) then everyone wins for now.
10 No One Likes Eating Alone
It’s true, we are on no one’s schedule when we eat alone or go to the movies alone. Being single means eating at restaurants by yourself the majority of the time. A lot of people enjoy this. But some don’t like it at all.
But at least someone else will flip the bill for the next time they go out. Even if she knows he will eventually walk away and go back home to his wife, she still didn’t have to dine alone.
Maybe she has an affair so that she won’t be flying solo, and he was the only one that came along. He just happens to be married—which is unfortunate—but it happens. The next time we see someone eating in a restaurant alone, we should think about why they’re doing it and what sort of perceptions we have on a scene like that.
9 Your Private Life Is Your's
The traditional mistress has an entirely separate house, family, and life. A man can get what he needs out of both families. Each couple has an individual situation. So, who are we to judge their reasoning for jumping into this extra-marital affair?
Some men will ever father children with their side piece. Usually the kids are kept on the down low, and always are a result of every individual party knowing what they need without asking for more. Thus, it usually works out.
A mistress prides herself on being a kept woman. She likes the private party she has with her man; she has made this her lifestyle by choice. Besides, she is used to stating that she is a single mom, which, technically, she is.
8 All The Perks Of A Relationship—None Of The Negatives
When the relationship is new, she may experience butterflies in her stomach before seeing him. With the secrecy of an affair, there is still nervousness and perhaps the anticipation that the relationship won’t last forever. Most of the time, they feel that their escapade isn’t meant for this world.
Imagine living this way. She feels he is probably not going to come back. She may keep telling herself this. As long as she isn’t kidding herself and sets boundaries, then being a mistress can be fun and carefree.
It’s when she falls in love with him and begins dreaming that there will be something more than what exists that things get messy. But if she can maintain control of her emotions while keeping things in perspective, she will be just find. There have been affairs that have been known to work and quite well.
7 It’s Like Being A Spy
The secrecy of affairs might be her draw as well as his. It’s exciting for him, which is probably why he is having an affair in the first place. For whatever reason, he is seeking something else his wife at home can’t or won’t give him, and it isn’t necessarily always physical. He may love the suspense, or just knowing he can get away with it.
All the secrecy of an affair leads to an almost alternate identity for the mistress. If it goes on long enough, she will start to get comfortable with the lie. It becomes another lifestyle, another life. This is a wonderful time for her to realize her limits and get to know herself when it comes to dealing with life. It can be such a paradox of the best and worst times of her existence. Her job is to find the balance. It almost becomes a game she likes to play.
6 Excitement Erupts
So, to piggy back the idea of the spy life, the entire affair is kept under wraps from her family, her friends, her workplace, and her community. The same rules apply in his life. Plus, they’re share little secret liaisons that prove to be dishonest but thrilling for both parties.
As she grows more used to the dirty, secret relationship, she discovers when and where to avoid the right people. She learns when she can go grocery shopping and when and how far away they can go out where no one will ask questions.
She can disappear without anyone knowing and she is invisible on social networks. Like any spy sometimes, there is guilt involved as to what she could be doing to the man’s wife and/or kids. But most likely they’re out of sight, out of mind. The guilt doesn’t necessarily stop them from having the affair any more.
5 There Is No Breakup
Like we said before, the secret to being successful in an affair is that the woman needs to balance her feelings and stick to them. She has to decide she doesn’t want to be in a permanent relationship, or the relationship will kill her.
This is when it leads to jealousy, and urges to reach out and confront the wife (or vice versa). But if the affair were to come to an end, and she is in the right frame of mind, then it shouldn’t be too devastating of a blow for her if he decides to go back to wife number 1 and the kiddos.
She just needs to be aware of the emotional aftermath every time. This way, she can reassess her situation and be vigilant when it comes to protecting her heart. Because, let's be clear, he is not looking out for her best interests.
4 Prepping You For The Real Thing
We don’t think there are any little girls out there who play “mistress” instead of “wedding day,” but more than likely, it’s not something most women dream about being when they get older.
But being a mistress may give her a good trial run on how she wants her actual married life to be. She may make sure to never put her husband in a position where he is seeking something else. So, maybe she can be a better listener.
She may want to be independent in her finances and not share her wealth. She may want to hire a cleaning lady. She may want to do the cleaning herself. From how to run her household, to how she wants their most intimate of moments go, the affair with Mr. Right Now could be a trial run for the Mr. Right down the road.
3 Freedom Of Identity
Listen, most women who end up having affairs with married men don’t know who they are. They are lost. They may not be distraught or depressed, but they aren’t plugged into their soul. They are wandering aimlessly through life and hoping to catch a ride on the coat tails of someone else. Why? Usually, it’s fear. Fear of failure, or maybe fear of not finding someone to do all of these scary things with that life throws at us.
Either way, being a mistress brings just the right amount of hand-holding. Someone is there to tell you what you want to hear. The mistress knows this. She needs his encouragement, and his checkbook. She needs his support—in every way—until she gets her bearings. Once she feels confident, she needs him to scram, so she can play the role of Miss Independent.
2 Opportunity Keeps Knocking
She may be ready to explore different aspects of herself that she never would have in her regular life. It’s not to say she wouldn’t be herself. For instance, when she was not dating this man, maybe she never would have considered painting. But now that she is a little more financially stable, she can dabble in things that interest her.
Maybe she has a creative outlet she didn’t know she had, or maybe she is in a place where she can travel more. She now has the opportunity to do things she normally wouldn’t have been able to do. She can bring out her own personal best—and she can do it all with his resources. This will help her define herself for the future, and this will be the best gift she could take away even if this doesn’t last forever.
1 He’s Most Likely Hot
Ok, this is the most obvious reason ever to be a mistress, and also the most shallow. But it’s also the best reason to be one. Unless he is a billionaire and she is set up for life, throwing him a bone once in a while might be easy.
But, for all intensive purposes, if someone is to be a man’s mistress, the man better be smokin’ hot or all of this is for nothing. Let’s face it. That is what affairs all boil down to, isn’t it?
It’s all for the sexual charge and what each individual can get out of such an eventually destructive relationship. He gets what he needs. She gets what she wants. They exchange some money and companionship. In the end, she usually finds herself—without him.