Nowadays, with an array for various Apps and discussion websites it’s not unusual to come across some pretty dark and unsettling confessions. Since these platforms were designed to let people release some pent up information that is causing them distress – without having to expose themselves to people they know – it’s no surprise that many users respond to people who need it most. It has become a community of support for one another, as well as a safe place for people to speak anonymously and free of judgement.
For some people, Whisper is the only form of outreach for victims and potential victims of abuse. Even without saying it, others can read between the lines and provide advice or clarity to the informant. Whether they choose to accept the advice is up to them, but at least the app is allowing them to put their situation into words, which is a step towards safety even if we are all unaware of who is suffering.
If you want to find out just how often people continue to endure an abusive relationship or fear giving it up, we’ve found only a small fraction of confessions that are so raw and real that we couldn’t help but share, to not only bring attention to the issue, but to also help those who are currently facing a similar situation.
15 Her Words Go Unheard
When you’re being abused, sometimes all you can say are subtleties to others; occasionally dropping hints of the trouble you’re in. When people suspect that someone is being abused, they often feel as if they don’t want to overstep their boundaries. So unless you’re clear and honest with people, your seemingly obviously cries for help will go unheard. While dropping an anonymous confession is a solid first step, it’s even more effective to admit to someone, “I am being abused and I need your help.” With these words, you’ll be able to truly open up to your loved ones and vise versa. Together you’ll be able to figure out a plan to escape the abuse and slowly begin to recover both physically and emotionally.
14 When Their True Colours Finally Come Out
At the beginning of a relationship, everyone is on their best behaviours and they work tirelessly to conceal their dark secrets and true colours. After a few months of courtship and making the other person fall in love with them, things turn sour and the unaware victim wonders what went wrong. They were so sweet and loving in the beginning. Was it me? Can they change? Maybe we can go back to the way it was. Maybe they’re just going through something. Because you are in love with the abuser, you try your best to help them, but the truth is you can’t. The best thing you can do when you realize you’re with an abusive partner is to realize that the love was based on a lie and that you are better off leaving while you still have the emotional strength to do so. The deeper you are into the relationship, the harder it is to leave.
13 When You Can't Fight Off Love
While this person has ended this admission with a statement that is almost more to convince themselves of the possibility of entering a physically abusive relationship, it’s not fooling anybody. While the relationship they’re in may not be physically harmful, it seems like it could be mentally, if not emotionally, hurtful, and it’s definitely not healthy. While the abuser in question has got her partner wrapped around her little finger and heart, it’s still not enough for them to release themselves from her grasp. Love is a strong emotion that has us all buckle under the pressure of it and causing us to do things we would never imagine ourselves to do. But if every day you feel more sad than happy in the relationship, that’s a good indication that this kind of love isn’t worth fighting for.
12 Turning To The Wrong People
To be perfectly honest, this confession is making us mad, too. When someone reaches out to someone they trust to share with them the fact that they’re being abused, the other person should listen, empathize, and offer to help. They should not make them feel worse by suggesting that they did not do everything they could to escape the situation. The person they chose to confide in should have been proud of them for speaking out, since that is sometimes the only thing a person can do when being physically abused. It’s possible that fighting back just isn’t a safe idea, since it could aggravate the attacker further or result in more bodily harm. Fighting back is not the response anyone should give to someone who is being abused. Period.
11 It's Not That Easy To Tell
Determining whether or not you’re being emotionally abused is not easy. It takes a lot of introspection and keen observation about your partner and trying to decide if their reactions, comments, or requests are simply because they’re having a bad day, or if it’s because they’re manipulative. Emotional abuse is, in a lot of ways, worse than physical abuse, because you can’t always prove that it’s happening like you can with bruises. It’s easy for a partner to deny it, but once you can talk to someone about how they make you feel and what they say and do to you, you’ll quickly figure out that their actions are not okay and that you’re caught up in something heartbreaking and often confusing. You cannot fix anything. They have to fix themselves. And remember that they are are not your responsibility.
10 Taking Affirmative Action
This is one confession that is filling us with hope, pride, and admiration, rather than sorrow and agony. For this former victim, they took matters into their own hands and turned an excuse for abuse into a powerful form of protection and to assert themselves when faced with physical risk. This karate pupil is standing up for their rights and showing us all that we all have the strength to get back up, proving that no matter how low you feel, it can get better. When someone experiences domestic violence, it’s challenging to escape the abuse or even the relationship. It’s easy to cower and continue to victimize yourself because they’ve made you feel so little and weak. Luckily, we are all stronger than we think and this story proves it.
9 Facing The Fear Of The Unknown
Sometimes taking a step back to analyze what you need and want has to take priority over your partner’s needs, especially if that partner is unstable and threatens your own happiness. It’s clear that this person has realized the need to leave, but the fear, love, and attachment to him is causing them to rethink their plan. Since they know his true capabilities and mental imbalance, the fear may be warranted, but it’s certainly not cause for delay. Worrying can get the best of anybody, but so long as you take the right precautions and plan for any outcome, there will be nothing left for you to do but take that leap. You will be happier for harnessing that courage within yourself and you may even be a little surprised by it.
8 It's Much Scarier To Leave
Even though we’re learning of an abusive relationship from a third party, we’re at least comforted by the fact that she’s talking about her situation with a friend and that the friend is attempting to help her figure out what to do next. While it’s shocking that the person being abused chose to be mistreated over being homeless, we can’t begin to understand her thought process or judge her choice when faced with these two options. Maybe she depends on the relationship more than she would like to admit, or maybe she’s not ready to face the aftermath of leaving. Whatever the reason, it’s difficult to help someone out of a terrible relationship if they are not willing to take the next step in helping themselves.
7 An Unlikely Victim
This admission may be from an unlikely source, but it’s bringing attention to an issue that is often hidden for the exact reason this guy is choosing to stay quiet. Men can also be the victims of physical abuse, although it is not as reported or discussed like when women are the victims. By choosing to voice his situation through Whisper, he’s at least opening up a conversation about it, which makes it easier to bring to someone’s attention later on and without the possibility of feeling insecure about his inability or willingness to defend himself. Being told to “man up” is disrespectful, but he’s making an assumption of how people may react. Yes, it might be an awkward conversation, but if you turn to the right people, they won’t tell you to assert your male dominance, they’ll listen.
6 From Having Too Much Punch To Taking Punches
With this confession, we can see just how real male abuse can be. This second case of a woman physically causing harm to her partner is making the reality of the situation much larger, which makes us think that there should be more media awareness to call out these male abuse issues. The consumption of alcohol can certainly make someone act out in unusual ways, but when their reaction to being under the influence is to cause pain to others, then there is a deeper concern than needs to be addressed. Since it seems as if she’s controlled while sober, it could be a good time to have a conversation with her about it. If she shows remorse or guilt, it might be something the two of you can work out. If she is defensive, it might be time to get out before it gets worse.
5 That's The Power Of Manipulation
There are many people who feel trapped by their relationships, abusive or not. When a relationship is abusive, it can be difficult to let go of their partner because they feel bad, lonely, and like everything they do is wrong. In attempting to seek validation or attention from the one they love, they are only brought down further by the manipulation of their abusive partners. One thing that is certain: it is not your fault. You are not crazy. His own problems are being projected on to you, which is both unfair and cruel. It’s unfortunate, but many people come out of an abusive relationship feeling completely insecure and damaged by the mental pressure they have faced every day from their manipulative partners. While being able to trust others could take time, the healing process begins immediately after removing yourself from the relationship.
4 Slowly Crumbling Away
There is nothing more confusing than being in an abusive relationship. You feel love and attachment to your abusive partner, while at the same time experiencing confusion, anger, and self-doubt. Your confidence depends on them, so facing the world that is beyond their reach is scary and can fill you with anxiety and worry. Letting go is a process, but admitting that the abuse is happening is part of that plan. If you’re feeling destroyed by the partnership, that should be the only thing that you should be focusing on to fuel your much needed release from the person. There is nothing braver than choosing to not succumb to the way others want to treat you. You have to help yourself if you truly want to take control of your own life.
3 What Can Be Done?
Men are continuing to be victimized by females and, since most males who were raised right were taught to never hit a woman, they choose to stand down when their partners start throwing punches. While it’s a respectable move, it can make men feel weak, vulnerable, and emasculated, lowering their self-esteem and worth. If a man were to hit another man, the two would fight without questioning the other person’s intentions. When in a relationship, the physical abuse is confusing and continues in times when it should be stopped. He may think that he’s doing the right thing in taking the hits, but it’s damaging him in more ways than one. Hitting back may not be an option, but talking to her about the abuse is.
2 When A Partner Acts Like A Parent
The only time anyone can get away with being strict with you is if you are a disobedient teenager with a rebellious streak. There is no reason why a spouse should be the authoritarian of the household, especially when a marriage is supposed to be a partnership, not a state in which someone is made to feel as if they need to obey rules the other person set for them. Once you become an adult, you are in control of your own life. No one else has power over you or has the right to dictate what you can and cannot do. There is a fine line between being strict and being abusive and it is often blurred. Either way you look at it, it’s a bad situation that this wife should get on top of quick.
1 When You Can't Just Let It Go
If you’re with someone who takes advantage of you – especially given the fact that you rely on them for everything, including companionship – it’s even harder to leave. Without that person, no matter how bad or lonely or misunderstood they make you feel, it can feel worse than being with them if you have no one to turn to. This is why support groups and call centers exist, so that people always have options instead of suffering in silence and solitude. There are many people who, like you, struggle to escape the clutches of an abusive partner. Luckily, these people can confide in one another and feel relief through a newfound understanding of one another that cannot compare to that of a loved one. By finding new friends and confidantes, you can find strength to no longer accept the hand you were dealt.
If you are in an abusive relationship and wish to seek help or advice, you can visit www.thehotline.org/ or search for a victim service centre near you at www.justice.gc.ca/eng/cj-jp/victims-victimes/vsd-rsv/index.html.
Credits: HuffingtonPost.com, Whisper.sh