Men are traditionally known to be the pursuers where women are the pursued. Even though modern feminism has taught us that it is okay for women to make the first move, it is more natural for men to make the first move. Usually, they have to get our attention from the get go to gain our interest and then gradually chase us in a more vigorous manner.
Have you ever taken a step back and asked yourself, “What was it about one my exes that really made me fall in love with them?” We as women drive ourselves crazy trying to analyze and interpret what behaviors triggered this and what was it about him that drove us crazy.
There are so many different scientific reasons behind attraction that can explain why we are attracted to one guy and not the other. These reasons date back to our primordial days as humans even before technology, such as dating sites and Tinder, took their power over society. There are certain behaviors and personality traits that trigger our brains to signal, “don’t let this one get away!” It’s in our nature to feel this physical connection and chemistry to someone without us really understanding how or why.
Here are the 15 psychological tricks that guys use everyday in order for women to fall in love with them.
15. He Uses The Push-Pull Technique To Create Tension
This mind game is a technique where he creates tension by stirring up interest and then holding back when you show interest back to him. He will say underhanded things that you are not sure are compliments or ways that he is pushing you away. Such examples include: “we could never get along, we are too similar” or “you’re either the coolest person that I’ve ever met or you’re the craziest one.” These are tactics that make you stand back and go “huh? I wonder what he really means by that.” Either way, he knows that he is planting the seed so that he is on your mind and that you want to seek validation and approval from him. This is sneaking and manipulative on his end, but oh boy does it work wonders.
14. He Doesn’t Text You Back Right Away Just To Test You
Texting is the main means of communication nowadays and it has taken strong presence over the good old days of actually picking up the phone to have a real conversation with someone. For better or for worse, you have to rely on texting not only as a way of communicating with friends and family, but the courtship process of engaging in a potential romantic interests. Just like the art of time restraint, texting is a game of time. There are certain emojis you could analyze to decipher how he feels about you (but really, you are over analyzing), or you can keep track on how consistent he is. If you text him and he takes to long to text back, he might be thinking about what he is trying to say to you. Or if he even forgets to text you back, it could be that he just doesn’t care enough to communicate properly. Worst case scenario: he wants to keep you in the dark to heighten your attraction towards him.
13. He Talks To Other Women To Look More Desirable
This is trick known as psychological association where one appears more attractive by appearing attractive to other people. This isn’t a ploy specifically to make you jealous unlike the previous trick mentioned above. However, women tend to find a guy more attractive when he is seen chatting it up with other women at a bar, party or some other social venue. When we see a guy (who isn’t necessarily the most physically attractive) chatting it up with all these other attractive women, we assume that it is because he must be smart, funny, charming or the owner of the place. In fact, just appearing more popular in general ups the social status and makes us more drawn to someone because others are drawn to them.
12. He Negs You By Slightly Making Fun Of You
Negs are often used by pickup artists and they are a critical part of “the game.” This part of the game is one of the most overused and misunderstood parts of the game. This is where they guy pretty much acts like a total D-bag in order to win you over and make you like him. Have you ever been to a bar or a party and some guy approaches you and seems to be mocking you in a joking manner? If negging is used correctly, then he comes off as goofy and entertaining. If he takes it too far and flat out insults you, then this ploy has gone horribly awry. Negs only work if they are handled with care, not carelessly thrown around.
11. He Demonstrates Traits Of A Provider
Dating back to our primordial days, men were seen as the protectors, the hunters and the providers for their families and tribes. Though modern times and technology have certainly shifted the roles when it comes to gender in society, we are still biologically hardwired to look for these types of qualities in men. Alpha males tend to attract more women than beta males because of their “take charge” mentality and ability to look out for their own. Guys with these Type A personalities make us women feel like they could protect us from harm if things got tough external from our own relationship. Guy who tend to be non-confrontational and shy away from any sign of a problem we tend to doubt when it comes to their role in the relationship.
10. He Has A Job Or Career That Dignifies His Social Status
Going off of the previous entry, it is much more of a turn-on to see a man with ambition and wanting to achieve high or lofty goals in his career. Whether you met him in college as a premed student or you met him while he was already on his career trajectory, a guy who is driven towards a goal is seen as unstoppable. Though we might get our heart broken if he decides that having a relationship will just muddy the works of his ultimate objective, we just can’t help but admire a guy who puts his drive to succeed above all other priorities in his life. Even if that means putting his love life and social time on the back-burner until that day comes.
9. He Makes Other Plans That Don’t Necessarily Involve You
No, we don’t like guys who blow us off and act like we are not even worth their time. In fact, those types are the ones to be avoided at all costs. Women are turned on by a guy who already has an exciting social life and you just happen to be part of it. Sometimes that might mean that he can’t hang out because he has family obligations or he just wants a guy’s night out. When you do get to spend time with him, it makes it more worthwhile because you aren’t likely to take it for granted. Think about the opposite: a guy who is too available and blows up your phone every chance he gets will be a big turn off for you. It will come off as needy or desperate if it seems like he just wants to spend every waking moment with you.
8. He Masters The Art Of Time Restraint
This is a sneaky little trick where guys will master the art of timing to keep us on our toes. It can be incorporated into the push-pull technique as well. First, he may shower you with attention with text messages and means of communication and then all of the sudden make them less frequent. He may take as much time as possible to get back to you. Another example could be that he shows up late or doesn’t get back to you on plans that you both had. In other words, you don’t know whether he is going to blow you off or actually show up and be there for you. Sure, it could mean that he is busy but it could also mean that he is testing your patience. He wants to see how much he can get away with before you react out of frustration. He thinks that if he can get a reaction out of you, the unpredictability will have your adrenaline rushing.
7. He Displays An Unshakeable Confidence
This is possibly the number one most important quality that is a turn on for all women when it comes to men: confidence. Not head games, not lack of interest or even being a catch on paper. No matter what he looks like or how he dresses, a man with confidence does not need validation from anyone but himself. He is self-assured and will not yield to anyone else’s expectations but his own. He is comfortable in his own skin and though he might have a few insecurities just like any other human being, he doesn’t let it get the best of him. No matter how hard life gets for him, he won’t let it sink his self-esteem. In a nutshell, a confident man is not only a turn-on, but it rubs off on us when we get involved.
6. He Secludes You And Talks To You When You’re Alone
So you have a crush on a guy and you are not sure whether or not he feels the same way. You met him through a group of mutual friends and you get excited every time someone says that he plans on making it. You talk for awhile and have good rapport and the flirtation goes on for extended periods of time. For some reason, you never see him outside of a group setting. This is case when either he might not have worked up the courage to talk to you alone or he is just not that into you. If a guy is really trying to get you to fall for him, he will seclude you and isolate you away from everyone else at least to have a conversation. If this doesn’t happen, then you might be friend-zoned.
5. He Shows Passion About Something
What is so attractive about a guy whose face lights up every time he talks about his favorite hobby, interest or career goal? It shows that there is a hidden intense energy inside of him that gets him to wake up every day and seize any opportunity possible. A guy who shows passion shows a zest for life and something to live for. He is exciting, fun to be around and you can tell that there is nothing that seems to stand in his way. He shows that he is not afraid to go after what he wants and overcome certain obstacles in the process.Not to mention, a passionate guy usually shows other qualities like his sensual side, which is definite turn on for us ladies.
4. He Pays More Attention To Your Friend To Make You Jealous
This trick if often used when it is just you and one other girl out to happy hour. Guys rarely use this if they see that you are with a big group of women because then it just becomes too much work to entertain them all at the same time. Here is the guy’s perspective: he sees two girls, one that he fancies more than the other. Naturally, he will want to start hitting on your lesser attractive friend and then working his way up to you. The idea is that you are a bit offended but your sense of competition will kick in and you will try harder to vie for his attention since you will see that he is already giving it not only to someone else, but someone that you are close with.
3. He Never Fails To Make You Laugh
Laughing produces feel-good chemicals that signal our brain to seek the source of pleasure of whatever is causing this reaction. Laughter indirectly stimulates endorphins, which is a brain’s natural pain-killers. If a guy has the ability to make you laugh consistently, he will be an oasis to a bad day when you come home from work. He will be the one that you want to be around when everything else in your life seems to be dragging you down. A guy with a sense of humor that matches your own is not always the easiest to come by, but once he sees that smile on your face, that is when he knows he has you hooked. You will always be thinking to yourself “what is he going to say next?” every time you hang out.
2. He Has Just The Right Touch
This is the sign that is more subdued that the previous signs. This is when he knows when you and him have built up enough rapport. He might touch you on the small of the back, run his fingers through your hair or stroke the side of your arm. He won’t come on too strong too fast, but once he knows that there has been enough flirtation, this is one of the first steps he’ll take when he goes in for the kill. Without being too touchy-feely but also using the right amount of tactile action, having the right touch is what gets us ladies swooning in no time. This is the first steps that makes us think that it will definitely lead to something more than just friendship.
1. He Owns Possessions That Signify His Social Status And Proudly Flaunts Them
Yes, it is true. Driving that nice Lexus or donning that Rolex watch at happy hour will make us notice a guy across the room. That is not to say that we are naturally inclined to be gold-diggers as females, but any sort of sign of high social status (which is usually signified by owning anything expensive) will make us think that he has wealth to spread. If we see a well-dressed man owning luxurious goods, we are more likely to believe that he can take us out to nice dinners, take us on romantic getaways or surprise us with that 5-karat ring when he decides to propose. Even if he doesn’t really have wealth or that wealth is inherited, we have these assumptions from the onset if we see any of these possessions.
Source: Thought Catalog
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