Adopting a child is one of the most selfless acts one can ever do. It means giving oneself totally to a baby who was born to another woman and letting them have a chance at a good life. But, at the same time, it's a huge commitment that will completely change the lives of adoptive parents. Some parents aren't ready for this kind of change and sometimes they end up regretting their decision. And if, on top of it, they have relationship issues with their partner or any other everyday problems, they can feel completely miserable and do the worst thing ever – project their negative emotions onto their child who actually didn't do anything wrong.
For those who have been thinking about adopting a child, it'll be good to learn what they can expect from it, so let's take a look at 15 instances where parents regretted taking someone else's baby into their family.
15 She Adopted Too Many Kids And Now She Can't Deal With It
Some people dream of having a big family with many kids and think that adopting many children is the most selfless act possible, but most of them forget how hard it'll be to raise them all these days. One adopted mother shares, "I adopted five kids and now I regret it because I'm not as great of a mom as I thought I would be."
We aren't sure, but probably she realizes that she can't provide for all of them and it makes her think she's a bad mom.
14 This Parent Regrets Adopting A Child Of Another Race
For many of us race doesn't matter because we know that all people are created equal. But there're still people who think otherwise. For this reason, adopting a child of a different race can be a worse idea that we initially think. "I'm black and I adopted a white child,' a mom shares. "I regret it because of all the weird stares and questions that she's gonna get in the future."
It doesn't mean we shouldn't adopt kids of different races, it just means that we should be ready for such issues.
13 They Hate Being At Home When The Adopted Daughter Is There
Often, when an older child is adopted, they carry a certain amount of baggage with them and parents should expect a certain amount of problems that will arise. But in some cases, these problems are bigger than they could ever imagine. For example, one adoptive mom shared, "I regret adopting my oldest daughter. We expected some issues, but it gets so tiresome when there are just more issues every day. She's miserable to be around. I hate being in my own home when she's around."
12 They Adopted Only Because Their Partner Wanted It
It's best to adopt a child when both partners want it. In fact, it should be the only way to do it. But life is life and sometimes things happen differently. One of the partners wants to adopt and another one just agrees. This confession is from a parent who didn't really want a baby, but still, they adopted one. They say, "I have regretted adopting this baby from day 1, but it's what my partner wanted." Now they have to live with it.
11 This Parent Adopted Kids And Now Has To Raise Them Alone
It's bad enough for a child to live without a family until they're adopted, but when they find themselves in an incomplete family or without it again, it can be even harder. This is what happened to this woman and her adopted kids. "I regret fostering and adopting children cause my significant other left me," she shares. "Now I'm stuck as a single parent and the kids get screwed over again."
10 This Parent Regrets Adopting Because Kids Don't Care
At some point, a lot of parents feel that they give and give, and give and get nothing in return from their kids. The same thing happened to this mom or dad, who adopted their children and then regretted it. "Sometimes I regret adopting my children," they confess. "I feel like I gave up my whole life and they do not care."
Time will show if they really care or not.
9 Her Adopted Daughter Destroyed Her Relationship
Sometimes the experience of parents with their adopted kids becomes harder than anyone could imagine. "I regret adopting my daughter every day of my life," one mom shared. "She is 17 now and about to have a child of her own. She held me back and destroyed my relationship with my partner. She led me to drink."
It's not clear what exactly happened there, but this family certainly needs help.
8 All The Joy Left Her Life When She Adopted Her Kids
We often call children "the bundles of joy", but for some, they become "the bundles of sadness" or any other negative emotions. There is at least one adoptive mother who feels like she can't be happy because of her children. She shares, "I regret adopting my 2 children because they are so messed up that all the joy has left my life."
It's hard to make this kind of confession, so we can only imagine how she feels every day.
7 She Just Can't Deal With Her Adopted Autistic Daughter Anymore
Raising an adopted baby is hard, but if it's a baby with special needs, it gets even harder. It requires a lot of time, sacrifice, and love to make things right and, sometimes, parents feel like they can't do it anymore.
"We've spent a lifetime fighting the authorities and pen-pushers who were supposed to help her, and the harsh reality is that it has not been worth the little she has gained," an adoptive mom of an autistic child shares. "The raw, difficult truth is that had we known what life with Louise would be like, we would not have adopted her."
6 This Parent Knows Adoption Isn't Just Like Having Your Own Kid
Some people say that there's no difference between adopted kids and those who were born to your family. Either these people are lucky, or they just don't know what they're talking about. This parent knows that things are actually very different. They share, "All three of our children are adopted, and with half a lifetime's experience of caring for them, I can categorically say that, despite the fiction peddled by social services, adoption is not 'like having your own'."
5 She Regretted So Much She Gave Back Her Adopted Son
Sometimes things get so hard for an adoptive mom that she can see no other way but to give away her child. It happened to a mom who shared her story on The Guardian. She and her adopted son couldn't bond, no matter how hard she tried. Recalling her last moments with him, she says, "I stared into his eyes and told him I loved him and that I had tried to do my best."
She didn't give him back to the orphanage but found a family that'd take care of him, so she certainly deserves our praise.
4 Her Kids Hold Her Back
It's a tragic situation when a mother feels like she abandoned the life she wanted to live because of her kids. Of course, her kids aren't to blame because it was her decision to adopt. But still, sometimes these negative emotions are too hard to handle.
"I regret adopting my children," says a mom, who has similar emotions. "They hold me back from doing anything. Sometimes I daydream about how wonderful my life would have been without them."
3 Adopting Her Cousins Became Her Personal Nightmare
For some parents, raising an adopted child is challenging, but for others, it's something that reminds a living nightmare. One adoptive mom confessed, "I adopted my cousins out of foster care and I regret it so much. The past 3 years have been my own personal hell."
We don't know why this experience has been so terrible for her, but she should remember that her cousins are probably not guilty of anything.
2 She Was So Depressed She Forgot Why She Wanted To Adopt In The First Place
When parents want to adopt a child and finally get to do it, they expect to feel elation and joy. But often they feel completely different emotions, at least in the beginning when all these responsibilities just fall on them out of nowhere. "I completely forgot why I wanted to adopt, or how this had ever looked like a good idea," a mom shared her thoughts. "It was as if a different person had bulldozed the whole thing through, obsessively and single-mindedly, and then left me with the consequences."
1 She Regrets It Because She Was Too Young When She Adopted Her Siblings
In most cases, adoption agencies don't allow too young people to adopt children, but an exception can be made when it comes to adopting your own siblings with an intention to save them from your abusive mother.
The young woman who was in this kind of situation shares, "I adopted my brother and sister (12 and 13) when my abusive mother gave them up. I'm only 22 years old and sometimes, I really regret it. I feel horrible that I feel that way." It's understandable why she regrets it, but she should remember that she did the right thing.
Sources: BabyGaga, The Guardian, Dialy Mail, Adoption Institute