So you think you've got the online dating game down, do you? So why is it that you're not going on as many dates as you should be then? The thing is, online dating is really tricky. When a person is browsing potential dates they've got an idea of what they're looking for and if you don't meet those criteria they'll move past your profile. It's fine because there will be somebody out there whose criteria you do meet.
In the same respect, you may meet your dream man or woman's criteria yet you're not expressing that properly on your profile, so they can't see how perfect you are for them. It all starts with the profile, and you've really got to get that right if you want to meet a hottie.
Then there's the messaging part. Also very tricky. You don't necessarily need to over-think every single little thing that you're saying to a potential date. But you do need to make sure that you're not committing any online dating sins in your conversations.
15 Your Profile Picture Is Pretty Bad
There are several ways your profile picture can miss the mark. It doesn't necessarily mean that there's bad lighting or it was taken at a bad angle that gives you three chins. Although, it would help if you could get the basics right.
It's always a bad idea to have other people with you in your profile pic. You might not be a selfie queen but I'm afraid you're going to have to bite the bullet and take a selfie for your online dating profile. If you are in the picture with other girls then the people who are swiping left or right won't immediately know which one you are. That's a guaranteed way to be ignored! If you're in the picture with a guy then potential dates might think you already have a boyfriend or they might not be keen on the fact that you have close guy friends.
14 You Don't Have Enough Pics On Your Profile
Having more pictures on your profile does increase the risk of you having pictures that turn people off, as mentioned above. Yet, you really can't just have one pic on your profile. I'm not saying you need loads because that will make you seem conceited. Maybe four or five pictures is a good amount to have.
The reason being, if you have one picture people become wary that you are just using one hot pic while in reality you're not so hot. Several pictures mean they can see what you look like with some consistency. Furthermore, having just one picture means that there's a higher chance of you being a catfish. And while we're on the subject don't include only professionally shot photos because that also makes you seem like a catfish who has just pulled some pictures off Google.
13 Your Bio Is Way Too Long
Some people really love writing essays on their dating profiles don't they? Obviously, you want potential dates to get an idea of who you are but you don't want to make your story too long because it could be very boring. People don't want to know your life story from the outset. They want to go on a few dates and get to know the real you gradually, not the you that you've put across in a long-winded story on a dating profile. My advice would be to keep it short and sweet.
What's more, if you write a long bio about yourself it may come across as self-absorbed. Because the thing is, when people write long bios they tend to include a passage on what makes them so great. That's just embarrassing. There's nothing wrong with confidence but you're not writing a sales pitch!
12 Your Bio Is Blank
Although you don't want your bio to be too long, it's just as you bad if you leave it completely blank. It just gives off the wrong impression. When other online daters see that they will think you're boring in the same way that they think long bios are boring. A blank bio indicates that you have absolutely nothing interesting to say about yourself whatsoever. That would be a shame because I'm sure you are in fact a very interesting person!
Moreover, a blank bio might also give the impression that you're not making the effort. It could say to others that you don't really care about online dating because you can't even be bothered filling out your bio. Therefore, they might not want to waste their time trying to chat to you. At least if you put a little something down the people viewing your profile have something that they might be able to relate to.
11 You Don't Reply With A Question
You know the score. If people message you saying just “hi” or “hey” it's really difficult to get the conversation started. It's great when they message you asking about something they've noticed on your profile because that means that they paid attention. Even if they simply ask you about your day or your weekend that's enough of a conversation starter. However, you will absolutely stop the conversation in its tracks if you don't reply with another question.
Potential dates don't want to be doing all of the work i.e. asking you lots of questions and not getting the chance to share things about themselves. It can be dreadfully tedious if you feel like you're having a one-way conversation. Frankly, after a few questions without reciprocation they will most probably just give up on you.
10 You Aren't Messaging Enough People
I think Plenty of Fish is indeed a great name for a dating site/app. Because the way that I see it, online dating involves casting out a net and seeing what you catch. By casting a net I mean taking the initiative to message lots of different people. In a sea of 100 local people, you might get ten interesting ones and even fewer interesting responses.
For this reason you need to put yourself out there and start messaging people because you don't know what you're going to find unless you do. You can't simply wait for the messages to start flooding in because unfortunately that doesn't always happen. What I'm saying is you need to give yourself better odds in the dating game.
9 You're Messaging Too Many People At Once
It's a fantastic feeling when you have conversations going with multiple people, maybe even on multiple sites or apps. Initially, you want to be messaging lots of people to up your odds as I said. But as soon as you start getting into deeper conversations with people who you're likely to meet up with you want to minimize the number of people you're chatting to. And there's a very simple reason for that. You're only one woman and you won't be able to remember all of the information and stories ten different people are sharing with you.
This could lead to things getting messy. Let's say one of your potential dates tells you they've just finished their masters degree. You message them a few days later asking how they're enjoying their new-found freedom only to get a confused response because you messaged the wrong person – oops! You get the picture.
8 You're Using Boring Openers
As you're browsing a profile, if you notice something in particular about a person you can guarantee that several others would have noticed it too. So if you open by saying that this person has really nice tattoos and that you just loveee tattoos, five other girls have probably said exactly the same. The same goes if you think of some witty remark about something they've mentioned on their profile - they've likely heard it all before. Unless you're the queen of banter or you genuinely have thought of a unique opener, I would avoid being trying to be funny with your remarks.
Yet, you don't want to say too little or be generic if you're the one starting off the conversation. If you just say “hey” you're going to get “hey” in return or you're putting the pressure on them to come up with something. I know it's tough to find the balance, but you should know how to have a conversation by now. They have a holiday photo on their profile, so you ask them if they like to travel. It's really that simple.
7 You Aren't Giving People A Chance
The thing is with most dating sites or apps is that you scroll through your matches really quickly or you swipe left or right to bin them or match with them in an instant. That really doesn't give you a chance to check somebody out to see if they're actually a good match for you. I reckon we should all take a little more time before we make our judgements on people.
Obviously, you need to be attracted to someone to date them. But don't forget that attraction comes in many forms. A person might not be so good looking according to certain standards, but that doesn't stop them having something about them that makes them really sexy. I always put sexiness over looks.
6 You're Scaring People Off
Some people are scared off when you've been on a couple of dates and then you start messaging them all the time. So, let's be honest, it's a million times worse if you start messaging someone who you haven't even met up with yet. As a rule of thumb, you should always wait for the other person to reply before you go ahead and message them again – it's just common sense. And if you message them with your opener and they don't respond, don't bother messaging them again because it probably means that they're just not that into you. Move on to somebody that does actually want to chat with you.
5 You Speak Too Much Before You Meet In Real Life
This is a cardinal sin in my book. The reason is so damn obvious. If you chat at length with a potential date you're going to wind up knowing everything there is to know about this person and having absolutely nothing to talk about when you have your first date. You need to save a few things for when you meet up IRL or else it's going to be super awkward.
Plus, if you keep chatting to this person then slowly but surely the pressure you put on the first date will increase. Because you seem to be getting on swimmingly in your messages you begin to have really high hopes for this person. The truth is that there's always a chance that you won't gel when you actually do get around to meeting up.
4 You're Not Being Entirely Honest
Now I'm not saying that you're a full-blown catfish who is making things up left, right and center. However, it is easy to tell little white lies while you're chatting to somebody on an online dating site. For example, you might insinuate that you work out way more often than you do or that you have a particular hobby that matches up with theirs. The truth about lies is that they always get found out. You really don't want to get into an awkward sitch with this person when you meet up and they ask you about your shared hobby, which in reality you know absolutely nothing about. And if they find out that you're a liar or at least somebody that stretches the truth you know that they are going to dump you real quick.
3 You Never Ask For Your Date's Facebook Page
You need to be asking for a person's Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or something similar. How do you know they're who they say they are (or even a real person) if you don't? Plus there are lots of benefits to getting access to a potential date's other platforms before you go out. For one, you can find out what they're really like. Check the kind of groups that they follow to make sure there's nothing weird or offensive. See if they're a social person, see if they're an intelligent person et cetera.
And the best thing about looking at a potential date's Insta or Facebook page is that you get to see lots of pictures of them. And this means that you can check out if they're hot or not. I don't mean to be awful, but I was once chatting to a girl for a while on PoF and it was only when I added her on Facebook that I was able to see that she had really gross teeth.
2 You're Responding To The Stupid One-Liners
You know what it's like. Guys especially send ridiculous one-liners to girls all the time, not to mention unsolicited pictures. Such witticisms might include things like “You're so hot that if you ate a slice of bread you'd poop toast.” Now are you really that desperate to respond to such silliness?
You know that a guy who is willing to send such crap must be an absolute douche. Plus, he probably sends that same line over and over again to numerous chicks. So that would make you the only crazy one to think of replying. These lines are generally offensive and derogatory to women, you should probably steer clear of the people who send them because just imagine what they would be like in real life – probably living in their parents' basement trying to “hook up with hot chicks” all day.
1 You're Not Putting In Enough Effort
It's easy to be put off by online dating. Let's say only douche bags message you, then of course you're likely to wonder if it's even worth it. But you need to understand that as much as online dating gives the impression that you can meet somebody super quick, it still takes time.
You have to be thoughtful when it comes to your profile. It's the easiest way to get somebody interested in you. You have to take the time to respond to those who are messaging you, not replying with quick meaningless responses or they won't continue to chat to you. We're all busy these days so you can't really use that as an excuse not to keep up with your online dating. If you really want to meet someone it takes time and effort.