For every nice guy on Tinder there are ten really disgusting ones. We're not talking about looks here, we're talking about the disgusting and weird things they say. It's pretty crazy that these guys think they're going to get anywhere with their sleazy and cheesy lines. Some of them aren't even lines, they're just straight up awkward requests.
Brace yourself ladies for some of the most horrendous messages that Tinder guys have ever sent. Some are crude, some are creepy, some are just very stupid. To be honest you've probably received a few messages like this yourself. Feel free to share the messages you've received in the comments below, no matter how gross or awkward.
15 You're so hot that if you ate a slice of bread you'd poop toast.
I think Nick's lying when he says, “You'd be surprised.” His message is just way too gross. Who wants to start out a flirty chat by talking about poo? I wonder what other lines he uses, “You're so hot that if you ate a frozen pizza you'd poop a regular pizza.” OK, I'm not very good at this but at the same time I really don't want to be so that's not a bad thing. Tinder guys like this one need to at least make sure their cheesy pick up lines don't make the girl feel physically sick if they want to have any kind of success with the ladies.
14 Hi maggot, you're very pretty
I feel pretty sorry for this guy. He makes the list through no fault of his own. He even admits his “unfortunate” faux pas. We've all suffered the embarrassment of inappropriate autocorrects. But for the girl he accidentally called a highly unpleasant little creature this probably brought up painful memories from being taunted in the school yard . So there's no way they could start something now. Or maybe they did and have this incident as a funny anecdote to tell friends, “You know he called me a maggot the first time we spoke?” Lols all round.
What's worse than drunk dialling somebody? Drunk Tinder messaging somebody. So Christophe was clearly out having a few drinks with the guys, got a Tinder match and everyone shouted, “Wahey!” The sensible thing would've been to wait until the following day and compose a charming introduction. Instead he started with a mating call, a “Rarrr!” to be exact. Then he said a lot of nonsensical words. I think he's proud of the fact that his face caught the girl's attention. But who knows what's going on in his drunken mind really?
12 Have you heard candy shop by 50 cent?
This is pretty hilarious. We really need to talk about this reference. This guy decided to throwback to a song that was released in 2005. It's not new enough to be culturally relevant and it's not old enough to be some sort of legendary track. And 50 wouldn't exactly provide the romantic soundtrack to your love affair anyway. But this guy obviously isn't going for romance because what he's really saying is that he wants her in a sexual way. And believe me pal, that really isn't “so seductive.” But we all know that the girl be “playin” so it isn't going to happen.
11 A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F with me?
Jack got a little bit more creative with his DTF message. But surely no matter how creative you get with your sleazy intro the answer is still going to be the same: N-O-T-H-A-N-K-S. Did he really think the girl was going to respond positively to this? To add insult to injury he calls the girl a “bi*ch” when she turns down his kind offer. How clever and original! Why is it that whenever a guy is rejected on Tinder he just calls the girl a bad name? So your ego got a little bit hurt, get over it and move on.
10 Sometimes I like to cover myself in Vaseline
We can only hope that Alvin is joking, but you never know. There are a lot of crazy scenarios out there. Some people like to dress up in furry animal suits and run around, some people are attracted to trees, so I guess it is possible that somebody would be into slithering around like a slug for thrills. Judging by the girl's response, these two are a match made in heaven. They either have the same sense of humour or are into the same kinky stuff. Don't know about you but I have some strange images floating around in my head right now.
9 Our only similar interest is Kim K
A mutual interest in the Kardashians is no foundation for a long-lasting relationship and this guy knows it. Hopefully they got to chatting and found out further mutual interests such as taking selfies with their tongues out like Miley Cyrus, a passion for the music of One Direction and watching as many episodes of The Real Housewives as possible. Let's be honest though, he probably had a much different kind of interest in Kim K than she did. The girl was into watching the drama queens on the show and getting contouring tips. The guy likes pretty ladies with big booties.
8 You look like my ex fiancé's hot sister
Bobby, I think we know why you and your ex broke up. She probably didn't enjoy you lusting after her sister... and her sister probably didn't enjoy it either. Because you're obviously an absolute creep! The recipient of this horrible Tinder message also now knows that Bobby has a wandering eye and in one of the most inappropriate ways possible. Seriously, what was this guy thinking? The girl would take this as a compliment? This is one of the worst “chat up lines” I have ever seen. No girl in their right mind would be into this. Unless the hot sister was Karlie Kloss or something.
7 Just wow...
I'm sure this is the cringiest Tinder message you've ever read. What an absolute cheeseball! I appreciate that a lot of thought and effort has gone into this message that Jack hopes to dazzle the chicks with. He wants to show that he's a more sensitive and poetic kind of guy. But it's all just a bit much. Admittedly it's much better than the attempts made by the chauvinist pigs out there but it's just a bit too intense. Don't forget that his rhymes also lose a lot of their magic when you realize that he's probably copied and pasted the same piece of prose to numerous girls on Tinder.
6 Do you have an Asian passport?
This is more like the typical one-liners every woman hears over and over again, you know like the one about rearranging the alphabet and what not. When he first asks the question, you just know that it's going to be a line. So curiously you answer and wonder where he's going with this one, and then immediately regret it. It's not funny, it's not smart, it's just annoying and weird. This one would just make you want to hop a plane to Asia to get away from the++ guy.
5 Do you like the lion king?
So creepy! I would really like to know if those two questions are related to one another, and I sincerely hope not. It's all good being an animal in the sack, but re-enacting The Lion King, really? Same goes for other “pre-1997 Disney animated films.” That's also quite specific and it's a shame that it means Tarzan and The Emperor's New Groove are completely off the table. But let's say those questions aren't related. What is Travis trying to achieve?
4 You look dangerous
Here's another potential serial killer that's looking for a date. You can't help but feel a bit sorry for this guy, he's obviously had a hard time in the dating game. But girls don't want to know all of your dirty laundry right off the back. Nobody is going to date you if they think you're a broken emotional wreck. Jackson, if you're reading this, you need to leave Tinder for a while and get over your ex before you start trying to date again. You're never going to pick up chicks by being a Debbie Downer.
3 I could have you pregnant by this afternoon
There are so many things wrong with this message. This guy is so clearly up himself. “Ooh look at me, I'm a doctor, don't you want to date me?” Nobody cares that you'll be a doctor soon because you're such an idiot, Dr. Douche. Then there's the whole getting the girl pregnant thing. I'm pretty sure that's not her main Tinder goal. She didn't download the app thinking this is how I'm going to get pregnant. But not only is this one of the worst first lines from a Tinder guy, it's also one of the best retorts from a Tinder girl.
2 I just got out of a coma
Is it me or does this just scream of desperation? What I think has happened here is that Dylan isn't having much luck at the moment. He keeps swiping right with no joy. So rather than give up he's decided to go through everybody he has ever matched with and use this “funny” excuse as an icebreaker. If you weren't interested enough to message in the first place then you can just do one Dylan. Obviously the girl wasn't interested enough to message you when you matched either. That's just awkward.
1 Do you consider yourself a feminist?
This Tinder fellow obviously isn't very smart, “I Donno” if he even knows what a feminist is – he quite clearly doesn't. He does now what he loves though: the female anatomy. And that is obviously what us girls want to hear from a potential date. Maybe next time he should think before he types.