15 New Year’s Resolutions That We Never Keep

in Girl Talk
15 New Year’s Resolutions That We Never Keep

The new year is a great time for reflection across the board. Not only is one year coming to a close but another is starting all fresh and clean. We tend to come up with lots of ideas about things that should be different about our lives and often we’re right about that. But when we make grand plans to change things about ourselves and our lives overnight, that doesn’t always work. For one thing, we put pressure on ourselves and end up leaving our resolutions behind. For another, we expect ourselves to be able to shed years of habits without a hitch just because we’ve decided that now is the time. This means that sometimes we end up making New Year’s resolutions that we never actually keep. Whelp, at least we tried! Here are some of the most common resolutions to fall off the radar as soon as we head back to work and real life starts yet again.

15. Staying Away From An Ex

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We might have great intentions when it comes to moving on and letting go of the past… but it doesn’t always play out quite like that. You’re single, your ex is still single, neither of you have forgotten how good your bedroom life was. Occasionally you might drunk text him and end up sleeping in his bed. We’ve all been there. Waking up there isn’t even the worst part. That’s reserved for when it’s time to admit to your friends that you gave in once again. Staying away from a tantalizing ex is not always going to happen no matter how strongly you try to will it into place on New Year’s Eve. But let’s be honest, it’s not always the worst thing in the world. After all, you’re getting hot and heavy and sometimes the spark is still there and you can even try again. But that’s a whole other thing to deal with. Another story entirely.

14. Going To The Gym Every Day

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Working out is great, of course, but we really set ourselves up for disaster by promising too much with our resolutions. Going to the gym every single day??? It’s never going to happen. The problem with setting the bar so high is that when we inevitably don’t keep up with it, we feel like the whole thing is over and throw it out the window. What we should really be doing is setting some more reasonable goals such as getting to the gym four days a week or whatever is reasonable for your life. That allows for a bit of flexibility so that if you can’t make it Monday, you haven’t already ruined the whole week of workouts and decide to hit happy hour every day after work instead. Working out is awesome and it’s important, but we’re also just humans who need our off days to melt on the couch in sweatpants… and not actually sweat.

13. Never Drinking Again

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Unless you’re really quitting alcohol for serious reasons, saying that you’re never going to drink again is sort of a joke. You will… and probably next weekend if not sooner. Of course, if you feel like you need to cut back or reevaluate your drinking habits then that’s a great idea, but you don’t have to go cold turkey if what you’d rather do is stick to a reasonable two glasses instead of downing two bottles. We have to make changes that actually work for us, and if you love to drink, there are ways to do it that doesn’t require saying no every single time. Figuring out that balance is just a part of growing up, and like it or not, the time usually comes around. That doesn’t mean that you should beat yourself for having the occasional hangover if drinking is not otherwise disrupting your life or well being. Moderation people. It’s totally possible.

12. Finally Getting That Supermodel Body

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New Year’s resolutions to lose weight usually come in pretty unreasonable packages. Stop eating all sugar forever, drop 20 pounds and never have a moment of fluctuation again. Interesting idea… but reeking of failure. Losing too much weight overnight is never a good idea for a variety of reasons. It’s unhealthy and you’re more likely to gain it right back. That yo-yo dieting is really never a good idea. What we should be aiming to do is stick with a healthy eating plan and trying to remain a healthy size (and we should still be able to fit into our favorite jeans). We should never compare our own size to that of another person. We’re all built differently inside and out. What works for one woman doesn’t work for the rest and that’s why this kind of resolution is a really bad idea. Find what works for you and you alone.

11. No More Procrastinating

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It’s pretty funny that you made the New Year’s resolution to stop procrastinating at 11:58 p.m. on New Year’s Eve! The thing is that there’s a big difference between being totally reluctant to do something and needing a kick in the butt to get you into gear. Being a procrastinator isn’t even a bad thing. Some research has found that it can actually be a good thing. In fact, some people actually believe that waiting until the last minute to make a decision is a better idea — this is called “manage delay.” Basically, you can waste a ton of time going back and forth about making a decision which generally isn’t super productive, and that you’re actually better off just waiting until the last possible minute to do it so that you can go back on your decision. Of course, this doesn’t apply to procrastination when it comes to things like doing the dishes or something, but really what’s the worst that could happen if you don’t get to them right away?

10. Watching Less TV

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Okay, so there is the idea that when you watch less TV, you have more time for other things in your life like being productive or hanging out with real life humans. But we do plenty of that stuff, don’t we? We deserve our relaxing TV time away from people and the rest of the world to do some decompressing and enjoy our solo time. Even if you wanted to cut down on the TV time, it could be socially irresponsible to do so. Imagine showing up to a party and having never heard of the show that everyone is talking about that. That’s a recipe for disaster and you’ll probably end up doing one of those fake awkward laughs to pretend like you know what they’re saying but then you’re going to laugh at the wrong time and totally blow it. You don’t want to do that for yourself, now do you do. It’s totally reasonable to feel like you need to see as many shows as possible.

9. Becoming BFF’s With Your Fave Celeb

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You can try but this just never seems to work out. Celebrities are cool… but they’re just people. Most of the time, everything that you see them doing publicly is not even their idea and it was made up by their publicists. So a lot of them aren’t even as cool as you think they are. Plus unless you work in or near the industry there aren’t a ton of ways to accomplish this without looking or acting like a stalker. No worries. There are plenty of other friends that you can make right where you live now. They might not be on your TV, but hey, the real life versions of people can be pretty great! Whoever said it’s hard to make friends as an adult, by the way, was totally lying or not that friendly. There are potential new friends all over the place and all you have to do is try to meet new people on a regular basis.

8. Quitting Social Media

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Ha ha. You don’t need to quit social media entirely. Instead, you want to cut down on it/stop stalking/stop wasting precious work hours. You just need to practice some self-control. Closing out all your social media is always an option but that’s probably not what you really want to do. Unless you have some serious aversion to it or need for privacy then what’s the point? Just because you have an Instagram account doesn’t mean that you need to check it every three minutes. If you really need help weaning off of it, you could always delete the app from your phone, but since we’re adults and most of us have at least some self-control you can probably control your habits. You just need to set them, like say you have to wait until work is done or something. If you quit cold turkey you might just go into shock and cause yourself some unnecessary pain.

7. Calling Your Parents Every Day

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It’s a pretty noble New Year’s resolution to think that you’re going to carve out time to talk to your parents every single day, but it’s probably not going to happen. Logistically it just doesn’t always work out so well, and if you’re not in the habit of telling your parents everything about your life, then you probably won’t switch over to that habit overnight. It is, however, a really nice thing to want to talk to your parents more and spend more time with them since they raised you and you probably love them. The key is to do it in a way that works for you without driving you insane in the process. Parents mean well but occasionally they overstep their boundaries or are really annoying for no reason at all, so you don’t want to burn out by trying to do too much. Really they just want to know that their children are happy and thriving, so deliver them as much of that as possible and they’ll be thrilled.

6. Finding A Husband

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Sure, getting married will probably happen eventually for you, but that’s not going to happen just because you make it a New Year’s resolution. That is some major pressure to put on yourself in a single year and it’s not the type of thing that you want to force for the sake of forcing it. Do you know how fast a year flies by? It feels like it was just last year’s New Year’s Eve and yet here we are once again. There’s a big difference in being open to finding the person that we’re meant to spend our life with and getting rushed into by some kind of outside pressure that we don’t need to be dealing with. Perhaps a more suitable resolution would be to be more open in your dating life. That might mean allowing people to set you up on blind dates or joining dating sites and then actually following through by going out with some of the people that you look at on there.

5. Going Eco-Friendly

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Of course going as eco-friendly as possible is always a great idea, but turning your whole life green overnight isn’t going to happen, especially if you live in an apartment building or somewhere where you aren’t in total control. Your landlord might not be down with you getting solar panels put in, and it’s not like you’re going to go off the grid completely because you probably want to watch season two of Stranger Things. If you really want to cut down on your carbon footprint, there are so many things that you would have to do, and some of them aren’t going to be appealing. Cutting out beef is one, and you might not be willing to give up the burgers. How about your car? Are you ready to park it and do some serious bike riding? Even recycling can be tough when you’re living in certain areas. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try, but it does mean that you shouldn’t be putting tons of pressure on yourself.

4. Having A Year Of Yes

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The concept of saying yes to everything that comes your way over the course of a year is an interesting one in the sense that it could open up a lot of doors that you might not otherwise walk through. However, it’s also unrealistic to do this, let’s be honest. Once weird things start happening, you’re probably going to shut down the whole experiment completely. What happens when the guy who’s only pretending to be an Uber driver asks if you need a ride? Or when your boss asks if you’d be willing to double your workload for no extra pay? No and no. The concept behind this, however, is not a bad one at all. Maybe you can refine the resolution a bit by saying yes to dating men that you’re aren’t immediately into or trying out a new group fitness class instead of sticking to your solo treadmill runs.

3. Being Friendlier To Neighbors

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This is the year that you are going to suddenly drop your guard and become the friendliest neighbor on the block… or is it?! Sometimes we realize that we come off as a little b*tchy by just giving the neighbors a slight smile as opposed to stopping to have a chat, and then we think that we’re totally capable of changing to become those kinds of people who do nice things like talk to others. It sounds like a pretty good New Year’s resolution, but it’s not necessarily going to stick since it would basically require you changing your entire personality and way of life. In can happen, but perhaps it’s not happening overnight. You might be able to keep up a week of super friendliness but then one of those neighbors gets a little too cling on and shows up at your door unannounced. Oh no. In that moment you’ll regret the effort and realize that you were doing the right thing all along.

2. Stop Being Stressed

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Stress isn’t exactly fun but trying to wipe it out in one foul swoop is a little vague for a New Year’s resolution. Plus, if we’re being realistic it isn’t ever going to be possible to remove it completely… and you shouldn’t actually want to do that, either. Stress is what pushes us to make sure that we ultimately get things done and that we try to do the right things so that we feel less stressed. There are also good versions of stress such as excitement. We certainly wouldn’t want to do away with that now would we! We could never keep a resolution to not be stressed. What would be a more realistic resolution would be to figure out things that cause unnecessary stressors in our lives and then cut out those things one by one. There are always going to be things that we need to keep around that cause unnecessary stress, but things that exist only to create stress in our lives are not necessary.

1. Stop Being So Picky

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It’s true that you don’t want to be so picky that you’re limiting your life and avoiding potentially great things, but you also deserve to be picky to a certain extent. Don’t let other people tell you that being picky is a bad thing if your version of picky isn’t over the top. Single people often get told that they’re too picky as if a plethora of eligible bachelors are knocking on their front door day in and day out and they’re just shooing them away one by one. You should have a standard in men and jobs and food and anything else that you’re letting into your space or body. Going back to the last point about getting rid of stress, being selective can be a good way to avoid bringing anything home that is going to cause you more issues than it’s worth. We usually have a pretty good idea about what we want out of life, so we deserve to be a little bit picky!

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