Relationships can be a wonderful thing. Both people are in love and can’t fathom life without each other, but when things go sour the situation changes in a big way. Many times, one person in the relationship will do something boneheaded and will break the heart of the other person. Of course they won’t really see it that way when they come crawling back via text message, and they really won’t understand why they get the sassy comments back from the person that they have so terribly scorned either.
Many of us either have that ex or know someone with that ex that just doesn’t know when to quit. Whether they text because they want to get back together, because they want to collect their belongings and see you again, or because they want to “coach you into moving on,” it’s better that they just ditch the phone and leave you alone. What’s great is some of the people that receive these text come up with some witty responses that let these exes know they want them to leave them the eff alone. We found some of the funniest responses to this situation. Read on to see some of the funniest and brutal responses to let’s get back together texts.
15 Setting the World on Fire
Woah, talk about some major anger issues here. Whatever this ex did to this person was not good to drive this person to want to burn them. Yikes indeed. On the other hand, why the heck are these two people on such different pages? The ex is texting them wanting to cuddle while the other person was wanting to send them to a fiery grave. It sounds like this breakup was never really reconciled at all.
It seems like these two people really need to stop talking to each other before things get really ugly because one person in the party might make things pretty destructive for the ex that wants to get back together. However, I recommend that this person stay away from any matches or lighters for a little while until they cool off.
14 The Butt of the Joke
It must be pretty funny that this person wants to get back together with their ex because the other person clearly expressed the humor they found in the sentiment. My guess is that this person was the initiator of the breakup or likely cheated on them now they are running back because they realized the huge mistake they made after the fact. Pretty typical after a person blows the relationship.
At least this person let their feelings be pretty well known by saying “bye” at the end of their rolling laughter. Hopefully, their ex gets the point and leaves them alone at the end of the day. The last thing you want to deal with is a clingy ex that won’t leave you alone after a super messy break up.
13 Automatic Shut Down
What a witty way to shut down an ex-girlfriend! I have to applaud the effort this guy put in to completely annihilate the spirit of his jerk ex that is all of a sudden looking at him as good enough after a year of ignoring him. It sounds like this guy did all the right things to move on and did so successfully. In all reality, taking three months to mourn the loss of a relationship sounds pretty normal.
After bouncing back, it sounds like this guy went out to the dating pool to find someone else. Good for him. Now it’s pretty lame that after a year spent moving on that this girl would decide to come crawling back after he did all of this soul searching to move forward. People are heartless.
12 Burn Baby Burn
Well, if they didn’t pick up their stuff right away, maybe this was warranted? I don’t know how else to justify burning someone’s things. Obviously this person was pretty ticked off by their ex so they felt that this was the perfect revenge to get back at them. Maybe this was a little overkill, but whatever makes you feel better I guess. This person must have really messed up hardcore to push this person to this extent.
Here’s the thing, they probably left some things with their ex too, would they want their stuff burned? Probably not. Then again anger could really take over in a situation like a bad breakup. On the other hand, this person has definitely shown their ex that they do not want to get back together whatsoever.
11 "I Want to Do Bad Things to You"
I feel like anger is the common theme here, like extreme anger. I’m not sure I would threaten to kill someone’s family, but who am I to pass judgment because I don’t know what this ex did to this person. Some of these people really need to take a chill pill before their exes go to the police claiming that they are threatening them or their families for crying out loud.
Yet again, you look on the other hand and you wonder how there is such a disconnect here. How does one person think that they are getting back together and that there are still feelings between the two of them while the other has pure, unadulterated hatred towards their ex? It blows my mind that people can be on such opposite sides of the spectrum.
10 Giving Her the Bird
Again, two people on two way different wavelengths here. One person wants to lie in bed together and cuddle where as the other wants to flip their ex off as much as humanly possible. How is it possible that two people that broke up in a rocky way don’t see eye to eye in this situation? Obviously the person that sees no fault in their actions is the wrong doer here if the other person is so angry, but why doesn’t this person admit fault or see what they did to destroy this other person?
It is kind of funny to look at this response though, not super angry but kind of witty at the same time. Perhaps this person did deserve that response, I’m not sure what they did but it obviously wasn’t a good break up that is for sure.
9 Cutting Her with the Carbs
This wins the hilarious response award because who didn’t laugh their butts off at this one? Honestly, who didn’t kick something like pizza to the curb for a little while to lose a couple of pounds because we know it isn’t great for us? It’s the same with this toxic relationship. It sounds like this ex made this person’s like pretty horrible and they stayed in the relationship for a while because they though it was better with this person, but they were terribly wrong.
At the end of the day, they realized that they were better off without this person and I think deep down their ex realizes that they don’t need them either. However, props to this person for having the perfect response lined up for their ex because I honestly couldn’t have said it better myself.
8 Go Free Fallin' Girl
So much anger! Geez! As if saying “drop dead” wasn’t enough, drop out of an apartment window was the appropriate words for this heartbroken person. Whatever this ex did to them obviously warranted some vengeful words directed towards them I guess. It is kind of funny that they played with them at first and the ex actually listened though.
You never know though, the ex could have been sad enough to actually consider jumping since they were practically begging this person to come back to them. But perhaps they should have thought about that before they messed up however they did. This one gets the creativity award in my book because they actually had the person believing that they were at the window ready to get back together with them or something. Major applause.
7 Burn in Hell
Ouch, calling someone satan is a pretty big statement. It is pretty hilarious that this person acted like they had no idea who this ex was though for a few messages though. Of course they knew who it was, but the ex still got upset about it, which makes this situation even funnier. It blows my mind the amount of exs that expect a warm reception post breakup, especially if things went sour.
It sounds like these two had a couple miles on their tires, not super long but long enough to have a little history. Whatever happened between them didn’t call for a good split and it might have been a drawn out one at that. Once again, funny that this ex expected a warm reception after the history. Yeah, not so much.
6 Stayin' Alive...Possibly
So…he was the only thing keeping her alive yet she still cheated on him. How does that make any sense whatsoever? Did she cheat and it just didn’t work out so she doesn’t want to be by herself, therefore, she went running back to her ex? That seems pretty darn weak if you ask me. I also think this was a pretty appropriate response given the situation…go take a long walk off a short pier.
She shouldn’t have given herself a chance to miss her ex to begin with by running off with someone else. If he was her everything and she was so happy, she would have stay put in her relationship and not gone off with some other guy. Maybe she should go find someone else that will keep her alive because it looks guy is going to let her drop dead.
5 Take Me Off Your List
What was the point of this ex’s text message—to get a booty call from this person? So you break the person’s heart then you text them in the middle of the night to pillow talk like nothing has happened? What is wrong with this person? I mean they could have just ignored the text and no one would have thought anything of it, but instead this person decided to have a witty response instead. I’m sure they wish they could have seen their ex’s face when they opened this text message.
Some people are so ridiculous. If you aren’t together, it’s pretty rude to text someone in the wee hours and actually expect a response from them. Some people just have no shame at all and will do whatever they want I guess.
4 The Beauty of Nostalgia
Wait a minute, so this ex text this person out of nowhere saying that they need to move on from them? That seems pretty counterintuitive all the way around. If this ex wants the person to leave them alone, they should probably start by leaving them alone, am I right? If I were to guess, it seems like the ex is the one that needs to move on rather than this person because it sounds like this person has pretty much done so based on their response.
It is kind of cheeky that this person compared their ex to things like, I don’t know, garbage lying on the street. Pretty classic if I do say so myself. Maybe this ex will finally get the hint, take their own advice, and move on. Don’t send text messages if you don’t want to receive them yourself, am I right?
3 Never Gonna Repeat
Well, the thing about breakups is that you don’t want to be put in the same situation with the same person ever again, but you usually don’t tell hem that—usually. This person decided that they were just going to let them know anyway, but it was a sweet line after this ex tried to make them feel small by letting them know that life wasn’t going to be great and grand like when they were together.
It’s fighting fire with fire in all honesty. If you are going to spew out a comment that is meaning to hurt someone, expect one to come right back at you I suppose. Also, if you were so great to begin with, why are you wasting your own time texting with your ex? Why don’t you move on to someone else?
2 A Surprise Twist
Well, this conversation went somewhere I wasn’t expecting. I guess you could say that it’s a good thing that this guy was a big enough person to come forward saying that he was HIV positive? On the other hand, what if he was lying just to get a rise out of his ex and her new guy, which is also really possible. It would be petty, but stranger things have happened.
What’s also funny is that the new guy tried to get the ex to submit to him by taking over the girl’s phone like some kind of big an only to get slapped in the face by this ex. Well, I’m sure this guy’s night was ruined by this little bit of news. Maybe this guy shouldn’t have counted his chickens before they were hatched, huh?
1 Don't Compare Dirty Dreams
Well, if you broke up and your talking about your fantasies with your ex, maybe you shouldn’t expect the best response back from them, especially if things didn’t end so well. What are you expecting as a response when you are texting your ex about something like this anyway, that they are going to run back into your arms and get back together with you? Just seems like a really weird situation.
At least this person had a really good sense of humor about it. They were probably dumbfounded that they received this text from someone that they moved on from in the first place. This was a passive aggressive way of saying that they don’t want to get back together with their ex and rightly so for whatever they did wrong. Maybe this person should go and have sex dreams about other people.