From an early age, men are taught to be strong, brave, and insensitive. According to society, women are the emotional ones, while men don’t get upset at all (if they’re real men). As you might have worked out, these standards are silly on both ends! Men are as human as women are, which means that they experience emotion too.
A lot of the time, men are too embarrassed to cry in front of others, even their significant other. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t do it behind closed doors! Many men have admitted to crying when a loved one dies, when a football team loses or when it’s time to put their childhood dog down, but traditionally, they’ve been less open about what makes them cry in the context of a relationship.
The following 15 confessions shed light on what it is about their love lives that really gets those lacrimal glands working.
15 Impossible Standards
There’s often a lot of emphasis placed on the harsh standards imposed on women in society and in relationships, and we sometimes forget that a lot is expected of men as well. We can all relate to the stress of impossible standards, right? One anonymous man confessed that this is the exact pressure that never fails to get him weeping in a relationship. “Besides a family member passing, I have only broke down when not living up to standards…” he revealed.
While women are often expected to be perfect wives and mothers and look flawless for their partners, men are pressured to achieve a certain amount of career success, earn a minimum amount of money and provide for the family, or they’re seen as less than men. Though the specific roles we’ve assigned to men and women are different, it’s clear that they’re both stressful, unfair, and at times, can lure out some tears!
14 Real Loneliness
Women are often the ones depicted as pining over men and going to all sorts of measures to soothe their loneliness (just watch Bridget Jones’s Diary if you don’t believe us!). The truth is that everyone gets lonely from time to time, and just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean that you’ll never fall into that category. A man who goes by Petteroes4 admitted that it is feelings of loneliness within a relationship that can have him breaking down in tears. “I sometimes cry when I am lonely,” he said. “So yeah, naturally women don't see it much. Loneliness can get so depressing that it actually causes guys to cry.”
Your guy could be feeling lonely if you’re working all the time, or preoccupied with some other hobby. Loneliness could also arise from you never spending quality time with him when you are home, or when you’re physically together but emotionally apart.
13 Remorse from Hurting You
Believe it or not, the guilt of hurting their partner can actually reduce some fellas to tears. We’re not talking about crying because he got caught or because he’s going to have to face the consequences of what he’s done, but because of true remorse. It can take a while for the reality of what he’s done to sink in for him, and when it does, he might feel bad enough to cry.
One anonymous man admitted online that after cheating on his wife, he broke down in tears. Admittedly, a lot of guys cry in this situation, but it can be a ploy to make you feel sorry for him and take him back when he does not deserve it at all. But this particular man (and there are many others too) genuinely cried out of shame. That doesn’t mean you have to take them back or forgive them, but know that they can and do feel remorse after doing the unthinkable!
12 Repressed Emotions
Repressed emotions can lead to some serious issues. People who don’t express how they’re feeling in a healthy way and try to bottle it all up rather than dealing with it can end up flying into unprecedented fits of rage, totally breaking down, or worse. In the context of a relationship, guys often repress their emotions out of fear of being judged by their significant other for not being manly enough.
“I'm the type of person who masks their sadness by just being super positive and energetic with others all the time, so when I do cry, it's usually due to a bunch of repressed emotions (but who doesn't love a good wine-fueled cry?),” confessed one man online, who wished to remain anonymous. Nobody is positive and energetic one hundred per cent of the time, so it’s better for men to deal with their emotions as they arise than try to bottle them up.
11 Losing the Trust
Being betrayed by someone you trust is one of the most harmful things that can happen in a relationship. While women are given support after they’ve been hurt like that by their significant other, men are often expected to stiffen the upper lip and get over it. Not only is that an unfair expectation, but it’s also totally unrealistic, since being burned by someone you thought you trust cuts any human straight in the heart.
Thirty-year-old Anthony Graham admitted that when he discovered the trust was gone from his relationship, the tears poured out. “I was living with a woman and I discovered in the worst way that she was cheating on me. I wouldn't really say I cried like a baby but I cried, especially when I realized that the trust was damaged. This was someone I truly trusted and that is a rare commodity in relationships.”
10 Getting Caught & in Trouble
We’ve already mentioned how men do cry from genuine remorse. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case for all of them. One of the other things can cause a man to break down in a relationship is getting caught doing something wrong, not because he’s upset that he’s hurt the person he loves, but because he doesn’t want to deal with the consequences.
Andrew Whyte, who’s 42, admitted that when he was caught being unfaithful, the thought of dealing with the repercussions reduced him to tears. “I remember when my wife discovered that I was cheating how I broke down. For months she kept asking and asking but I kept denying it. Then one day she found evidence that I was in fact cheating and she decided she was going to leave me and take our son. I could see that she was serious and I couldn't allow that. Man! I am not ashamed to tell you that I bawled like a baby that day.”
9 Being Dumped
One man got real about the way that guys deal with being broken up with compared to women, and to be honest, they’re not that different. Whoever you are, losing someone you love hurts. Irrespective of whether you did something wrong, they broke up with you for their own reasons or it was a mutual decision, it’s still a life change that’s tough to come to terms with.
The man, who uses the name MyDayJobSucks, revealed that he often cries when his relationships come to an end. “I cried after most of my relationships ended or how they ended.” He also weighed in on the way men are expected to handle break ups, as opposed to women. “While women are usually surrounded by family and friends to help them through the aftermath, men are left to cope on their own, because they’re usually hesitant to seek the support that they need. So if a guy feels heartbroken and has no one to talk to, then you can expect him to shed a couple of tears.”
8 You Getting in the Way of His Relationship with His Mom
Most guys hold a special place in their hearts for their mothers, which is a beautiful thing. If you do or say anything that might criticize, jeopardize or attack this, expect there to be some backlash. Depending on the guy, you might find yourself in a full-blown argument, or you might make him cry. One anonymous man revealed that being called a “bad son” usually does the trick for him, as does blatant disrespect to his mother.
If a guy’s mom is important to him, he’ll naturally want to be the best son he can be. Especially if he’s made some mistakes in the past, is trying to mend the relationship with his mother and wants to pay her back for all the good she’s done for him, calling him a bad son would be just like tearing into him with a knife.
7 Life-Changing Moves
Big moves and changes are scary for all of us, and sometimes when a relationship brings about huge transformations in a guy’s life, it can cause him to cry. These tears aren’t necessarily because he doesn’t want to get married, have a baby, move in or relocate to another city, but just due to the overwhelming stress of it all.
“We decided to make a new life out west,” confessed one unidentified man. “I sipped tequila in the backyard under the dense canopy of East Coast foliage I’d been under my entire youth. My life, my dreams all based on being in or near New York, were ending. I found myself on my knees on the patio, tears running down my cheeks, then hot snot over my mouth and chin. It went on for a long time, till I had no more. It was the best damn cry I’ve ever had.”
6 Baby-Related Stuff
Of course, not every cry a guy has in a relationship is going to be of sadness. Sometimes, the relationship brings him so much happiness that he can’t help crying tears of joy! Many men agree that when it comes to baby stuff, they end up with a tear here and there. “I last cried when my wife showed me the plus sign on her pregnancy test eight months ago,” admitted one unnamed man. He also revealed that part of those tears came from the fear of raising a child when he didn’t know what he was doing, but that’s to be expected from everyone!
Others have confessed to shedding tears when they find out they’re going to be fathers, when they feel their baby kick in their wife’s stomach, when they see the first ultrasound pictures, and when they meet their little bundles of joy for the first time. Don’t be surprised if you spot a tear on his cheek the next time you bring up baby stuff!
5 When He Realizes He Has You
It seems like something that belongs in the movies, but some guys have been known to cry when it dawns on them that they have the person of their dreams. “It’s not often men like me get what we long for,” were the words of one such man, who cried when he first got together with his significant other. This is probably less common than some of the other reasons that tend to make guys cry in relationships, but it definitely does happen!
He might shed a few tears when your relationship progresses a significant amount, whether it be marked by your moving in together or even getting engaged. Just search YouTube for evidence of men crying as they see the loves of their lives walk down the aisle (and we dare you not to bawl your eyes out yourself!).
4 Watching the Relationship Rot
Actually breaking up or going through some other intense relationship issue isn’t the only thing that can get a man crying in a relationship. It can also be the relationship coming undone in a slow, much less obvious way that does it for him. To put it simply, some guys cry when they know the relationship is breaking down over a long period of time, and there’s nothing they can do to stop it.
“Sometimes the ‘blazing row’ break up is blessed relief,” said one man, “As the alternative is your girlfriend slowly removing her books...” If you’re spending less and less time together, fighting more often or have even mentioned going your separate ways in the future, simply because you’ve grown apart, it could make him feel bad enough to quietly weep.
3 Being Forced to Be Vulnerable
Since guys are theoretically supposed to go through life without experiencing emotion, it’s understandable that a lot of them aren’t interested in laying out their vulnerabilities and insecurities for you. And just forcing your man to open up can be enough to get him crying.
One man who identifies as Terrible_Tues online stated that it always makes him cry when he is “badgered for months to open up and share feelings only to have what was discussed used against me to win a petty argument weeks later.” It’s bad enough to force someone to reveal their deepest feelings to you, but to then use that information against them later is enough to piss anybody off! Other fellas have confessed that they hate being told to be more emotional and cry if they need, and then be told by their partners that such insecurities on men are unattractive. Yikes—looks like they need to find themselves some new partners!
2 D&Ms (Deep & Meaningful Conversations)
Crying doesn’t always have to signify that something has gone horribly wrong—just like women, some guys cry simply because they’re feeling emotional, whether that has been building up for a long time or whether it’s just sprung up. Sometimes, having a deep conversation with bae can end up with a guy reaching for the tissues.
“I remember one day I was talking to my girlfriend about the way I grew up and the sacrifices my parents and my older brother made so that I could go to school,” said twenty-nine-year-old Dave Graham. “It really was just so painful that I don't know how it happened but all I know is that one minute we were sitting and talking and the next I was bawling like a baby! And believe me, I don't usually cry!” A good cry together every now and then could be the perfect thing to strengthen your relationship if your bonds need a little tightening!
1 Watching Movies Together
The one thing that many men openly agree makes them cry in a relationship is watching sad movies with their partner. Research shows that they do tend to differ from the standard movies that make women cry (Titanic and The Notebook to name a few!), but you’d be surprised at what kind of movies they actually are!
According to one man, he always cries when he and his girlfriend watch Pixar movies together. “There's three parts of Up! that make me soft. The first ten minutes, seeing a beautiful relationship play out. When the scrapbook is found and the adventures they had went on. And giving out the Ellie badge,” he revealed. Dude, don’t get us started on Finding Dory! The next time you’re sitting down for a Pixar marathon with your man, remember to let him know that it’s okay if he has to shed a tear!
Sources: www.cosmopolitan.com, www.gurl.com