Sexting is exactly what it sounds like. It’s the process of sending sexually explicit photographs or messages via text. As raunchy as it sounds, it has become a popular activity for most age groups. It’s not surprising, considering the fact that we’ve all come to rely so heavily on technology. When all you have to do is shoot a quick text message or log onto your social media accounts to communicate with your partner, there's no need for couples to wait until they see each other for them to get dirty. With a few photographs and naughty words, they can please each other without having to reach out and actually touch each other's bodies.
Although sexting has its benefits, there are risks associated with it. If the person you send your photos to is sketchy, or if you leave your phone lying around for others to scroll through, then your dirty messages could end up in the wrong hands. On a smaller scale, if you say the wrong thing at the wrong time, you could end up embarrassing yourself or even driving your partner away. If you're new to the world of nudes and dirty talk, here are the do’s and don’ts of sexting:
You don’t want to tease a man too badly by sexting him before you’re ready to sleep with him in “real” life. If you tell him all the dirty things you want to do to him over text, he’ll expect you to keep your word when he sees you in person. Likewise, you shouldn’t send him revealing pictures of yourself if you’re not ready to take your clothes off in front of him yet. You don’t want to send him too many mixed signals, or you could drive him away. Plus, the more you bring up sex, the more he’ll be itching to have it. If you want to take things slow with him, then keep things tame when you text.
Once a sext is sent out, it’s impossible to get rid of all of the evidence, because half of it the information on another person’s phone. Even if naked pictures are sent over Snapchat, the recipient can screenshot the photo and keep it for as long as they’d like. Although you don’t have total control over deleting the messages, it’s always a good idea to get rid of all of the evidence from your side of the conversation. If you’re an iPhone user, you should be especially careful. If you take nude photos on it, make sure to delete them from every album that they’re saved under. It’s easy to forget about the “recently deleted” folder, but any photos that are contained within it are capable of being restored, so you need to empty it out as often as you can.
Technology has blurred the line between what’s considered cheating and what’s harmless banter. However, if you know that your partner would be upset if he read through any of the messages you’ve been sending other guys, then you should consider what you’re doing inappropriate. You shouldn’t come close to sexting with someone if you’re already in a relationship or if they’re already in a relationship. Even though you’re only exchanging words, and maybe a few pictures, it’s still considered a form of emotional cheating. Even though your words might’ve seem harmless, if you said them in person, they take on a completely different tone when they’re written down for anyone to read.
It’s easy to hit the wrong button and send a text message to someone other than your mate. However, when you’re sending naughty messages, that’s an error that you’ll want to avoid at all costs. Before you type your message, make sure it’s addressed to the right person. Then, before you actually send the message, do a double check to make sure you’re sending it to the right person once again. This is especially important if you’re messaging multiple people at once. If you’re in the middle of two or three conversations, then you might accidentally send it to the wrong person without realizing it. That is, until they send you back one very confused message.
Even though sexting is a trendy thing to do, you shouldn’t treat it like it’s no big deal. You deserve someone who actually cares about you and values you as a person. If a man is only interested in sex, then you shouldn’t give him what he wants by sending him saucy pictures and messages. There’s no telling how many people that he’s trying to seduce at a time. If you’re not the only one, you could end up getting hurt. After all, sexting is a stepping stone to actual sex, most guys will think of it that way.
Your pose isn’t the only thing you should be concerned about when it comes to taking sexy pictures. Too many people focus all of their energy on their own looks and completely forget about what their background looks like. Even though your partner will pay more attention to your body than to your background, a toilet or a cluttered room could ruin the mood of the picture. Your best bet is to stand in front of a wall while you’re taking your photos, so you don’t have to worry about what’s behind you. However, if you’re snapping photos in a cluttered room, do a quick scan of your picture before you send it out so you don’t end up embarrassing yourself.
You don’t owe your partner anything. That means he needs to prove himself before he can expect to get any sexy messages from you. If you don’t trust him, or if you’re even the tiniest bit suspicious of him, then you should save the dirty talk for when you see him in person. If you decide to be daring and sext him anyway, he might share whatever you send him. He could show your pictures to his friends in order to brag about you, send them to your coworkers in order to get revenge, or post them online in order to get attention.
You wouldn’t have sex with your partner without primping first, so why would you take sexy pictures of yourself without primping? If you’re willing to go through the trouble of sending sexy pictures, you might as well go all out. Make sure that you wash and fix up any areas that you’re planning on photographing. Even though you shouldn’t show your face, you can still show your hair if it’s long enough to fall onto your chest. That means that it should be brushed, and possibly even styled into the way you know your man loves. You can even slip into something extra sexy, like some lingerie.
People are turned off by lengthy paragraphs of text. That’s why you shouldn’t send out sexts that take up too much room. If your message extends down the entire length of your phone screen, then you should think about rewriting it. After all, the best way to sext is by sending a sentence or two about what you want to do to your partner, and then letting your partner reply by saying what they’d like to do to you. Going back and forth like that is much sexier than sending an entire paragraph would be. If your partner wanted to read a whole story, he could buy 50 Shades of Grey.
You don’t want your parents, roommates, or little sister to stumble across your inappropriate texts and photos. Even if you make it a habit to delete everything sexy that you send, there’s always the chance that your partner will unexpectedly send you something new when you’re at the dinner table. When that happens, someone could pick up your phone and swipe it in order to open your messages—unless, of course, you have a lock screen on it. Just make sure that you create a strong password, so that your family members and close friends aren’t able to guess it on their first try.
Even though there’s a perfectly good eggplant and tongue emoji, that doesn’t mean you should use them. Adding emoticons to your messages is guaranteed to ruin the mood. It’ll make your partner think of you as a kid, even though you're aiming to look sexy and mature. Plus, not all emoticons have a set definition. You could send your partner a group of emoticons in order to tell him what you want to do to him, but he could have no clue how to interpret them. To keep things clear and concise, leave the emojis out of the equation. Stick to using your words.
If it takes you a half hour to respond to every sext that your partner sends you, then you’re going to end up ruining the mood for him. If you really want to make him crazy, then you should respond as quickly as you can. Give yourself a few seconds to figure out how to phrase your thoughts in the sexiest way possible, but don’t hesitate for any longer than that. That means you shouldn’t initiate a sexting session when you’re busy at work or when you’re swamped with chores. Wait until you have some free time on your hands.
There’s no reason to show your face in naughty pictures. If you do, you run the risk of these images being shown to other people or even worse, posted on sites. However, if you only take shots of your body, you can always deny the fact that the pictures are of you if they get shown around town. Of course, if you have identifying marks, like a tattoo or freckles, you might want to avoid placing them in frame as well. Even though you could always chalk them up to photoshop, it’s better to be safe than sorry.
With the exception of the photographs you send, sexting is all about using your words to turn someone on. That’s why you should try your best to avoid using technical terms when you’re sexting. Instead of using textbook anatomy terms, you should allow yourself to let loose by calling your body parts by the naughtiest words you can think of. Sexting is not the time to be conservative. You won’t be able to drive your man crazy if you use tame terms, so be brave.
It doesn’t matter if you’re dying to use a filter on your photo. You should never, under any circumstances, use Instagram to take your sexy photos. If you do, they can end up being permanently uploaded to your profile for the entire world to see. There are other applications you can download in order to add filters to your pictures, but it’s even better if you forego using a filter. After all, when your partner sees you in person, he'll see every inch of you, so you might as well show him what you really look like when you send him photos instead of trying to hide with a filter.