First dates are the worst. That's just a fact. If you're someone who actually enjoys first dates, you're probably someone who also likes doing their taxes and going to the dentist. What's wrong with you?
The idea of a first date sounds awesome, actually. You'll be spending time with someone who you are attracted to, someone you could possibly *gasp* marry! That's dreamy, but there's just so much pressure on the first date. In fact, first dates almost feel like a job interview. You're basically just asking someone a bunch of questions about their life and their asking your these questions too. How do you answer? Well, you lie.
We're not saying that we lie about everything on a first date. No, just a majority of things. It's mostly just embellishing the positive aspects of our lives and leaving out the negative. I mean, you don't want to tell someone about your crazy ex-boyfriend or messed up relationship with your mom on your first date. Save that stuff for the third or fourth date. So, here are 15 things that you and everyone else in the world will likely lie about on a first date.
13 How lame your job actually is
If you are in the beginning stages of your career, your job sucks. It’s just that plain and simple. There’s no way around it really. At some point in your 30s, you may be able to gloat about how cool and impressive your job is but, for years and years before that point, you will mostly be fetching coffee for people and answering to a sh*t ton of people who are your superior.
There’s nothing wrong with paying your dues. In fact, everyone should really pay their dues. That being said, a first date is no time to bitch about how awful your job really is. You don’t have to completely lie but you can certainly embellish a bit about your role and how much you enjoy it. Everyone does lies about their job. That guy who told you how amazing his job in advertising is? Yeah, he hates being the lackey but you won’t find that out on the first date.
12 How many partners you’ve had
Err, everyone lies about this, whether they are adding names to the list or taking names off the list. Honestly, this question may not come up on a first date because it rarely does and honestly that is awkward if it does. I mean, how many first dates have you been on where the guy is like ‘okay, so how many dudes have your slept with’ right off the bat? Probably very few. If he does ask, this should be a red flag.
If it does come up, though, everyone lies. You take guys off the list to see more prudish or you put guys on the list to seem more experienced. Whatever the lie may be, it’s still a little lie. In fact, this may not even be a first date lie. This is something you’ll probably lie about whenever it happens to come up in the relationship, be it on the sixth date or six months in.
11 When your last relationship ended
A more likely question to pop up on a first date is when exactly your last relationship ended. On The Bachelor, they literally ask this question on every single one on one date, and for good reason. You want to feel around about someone's past before you commit to them in the future.
This question seems to come up naturally as it’s more like ‘hey, how long have you been single’ type of a question. People tend to lie about this question so they either don’t appear to be rebounding or don't appear to have been single too long. If they are rebounding, their date may be turned off by how recently their last long-term relationship ended. On the other end of the spectrum, if you haven’t been in a relationship for a long time, someone wonder why you’ve been on the market for so long and what could possibly be wrong with you.
10 How your last relationship ended
How your last relationship ended is never something anyone wants to talk about. Even if it ended on good terms, there are hardly any break up stories that make both people sound good. If you were cheated on, you don’t want to say you were cheated on because it's embarrassing and it makes one wonder why someone would cheated on you. Obviously if you cheated, you don’t want to tell a new partner that you are likely to stray. It’s not the most attractive quality.
The best way to describe a break up would be to simply say ‘it didn’t work out’ or something along the lines of that, but everyone knows saying that it simply didn’t work out is a total cop out. Relationships are complex and it’s hard to really explain why it didn’t work out to a total stranger, even a stranger with whom you’d like to be in a relationship.
9 How much effort you put into getting ready
Okay, so guys might not really lie about this, but sometimes you never know. Guys generally don’t put too much effort into getting ready for a date, the can hop out of the shower, get dressed and walk out the door. Sure, they might be planning things like where to go and what to do, but how much time can they really spend doing their hair?
Girls, on the other hand, can spend hours on hair, make up and clothing. There’s the shaving, plucking, curling, smoothing, ironing. There’s a lot of effort that goes into looking effortlessly beautiful, but we all still lie and pretend to put zero effort into looking gorgeous for a first date. Sure, in a few more dates, he can learn that your hair isn’t naturally full of curly, beautiful volume, but on the first date, you'll let him think that you wake up like this.
How much you actually work out
You'll most likely lie about how little or how much you work out depending on what he says about working out. If he's a work out nut and you're more into binge-watching TV on the weekend rather than hiking, you may embellish a bit about how much you work out. Suddenly, that time you did a 10-minute yoga video from YouTube becomes you doing yoga at least twice a week because you just need it to center yourself. Really, you need Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt to center yourself, but he totally doesn't have to know that.
On the other hand, if he's not the type to work out a whole lot, you may not talk about the Pilates classes you go to in order to maintain your body. He doesn't need to know that it takes four 45-minute classes a week to look this good. You can casually mention that you like to workout, it helps relax you. But unless he asks details you don't need to divulge how many calories you burn each class.
8 If you care about who is paying
Well, you don’t actually care about who pays but you’ll totally note if he pays the bill or not. It’s not that you expect him to pay, but if the guy makes the effort to take care of the bill, it’s just going the extra mile. You want to know that is into you enough to want to wine and dine you.
Likewise, guys will notice if the girl offers to pay, even if she offers to pay for her half. Even if he’d never expect her to pay for the meal and takes care of it himself, he’ll still notice if she at least offers to pay for the meal. In the end, no matter who actually pays for the meal, it will be remembered who offered to pay for the meal. It is the politeness that people are looking for on the first date, you want to know that you are with someone with manners that can hold their own.
The fact that you've stalked him on social media
To prepare for the date, you’ve cyber stalked the sh*t out of this guy. That's a given. In this day and age, it's to be expected, but you need to try to conceal the fact that you’ve been scrolling through the deepest history of every single social media platform you can find him on. Even though you know he has family in Wisconsin that he visits almost every summer, he doesn’t have to know that you actually know that.
There is a beautiful balance in not revealing that you’ve stalked your new potential boyfriend but also using the details that you’ve found out to perhaps make for some good conversation. But do not reveal that you know his mom is a Scorpio and his dad enjoys fishing, it can only come across as creepy. Make sure you know how to casually bring up common interests. And bless the woman who finds this balance on the first date.
7 About the fact that you’ll give your friends the run down
After the date, you are totally going to give your friends the run down. In fact, you really want to text them, like, right now to tell them everything going on. Things just don't feel real until you've told your friends about it, and we totally get that. However, your date may not really like the fact that you're going to tell you girlfriends everything. He may like to keep some of the things he shares with you on this date private. And that's cool. It really is, but this is just a first date and your girlfriends have been lifers so you're going to tell them everything, from the breadsticks to the first kiss. There's nothing he can do about it, but this is obviously something you don't tell him on the first date. Keep the texting to a minimum on the date and do not mention that you are passing by to see your bestie once dinner is done. He will not appreciate that.
6 What you really wanted to order
This kind of falls into the same category of lying about working out. If your date is someone who is super health conscious and you really want the burger listed on the menu, you may, instead, order the steak salad so you don't seem like you're the type of girl who likes to eat burgers on the reg. Even though, you're totally the type of girl who gets burgers on the reg.
On the other hand, if he asks if you'd like to split the mozzarella sticks and you don't usually eat anything fried, or carbs, or diary, you may just say yes and split the mozzarella sticks with him. Besides the fact that they are delicious, explaining to a guy the strict dietary restrictions you follow to keep your body looking hot is just not fun first date convo. Things can get tricky on the first date but wait until date 3-4 to start revealing a little more about your strict eating habits or love or fast food. He will understand.
5 How much or little you'd prefer to drink
This one depends on your drinking habits but, for the most part, you may end up lying about how much or how little you’d prefer to drink on this particular date. If you’re on a date on a Thursday night but you generally don’t drink on weeknights, you might have a few drinks if your date is down to drink. You don’t want to turn down a drink if your date is boozing up.
On the other hand, if you’re someone you likes to have a few glasses, you might feel uncomfortable ordering as many drinks as you’d like if your date is keeping it low-key. Whatever the situation, you’ll probably adjust how little or how much you drink based on your date’s habits. Try to gauge his behavior, if he's enjoying a nice glass of wine which you usually reserve for Fridays or Saturdays well go ahead and enjoy the one glass of wine with him. If you really prefer not to drink you can order a fun virgin cocktail.
4 Your knowledge of politics
Whenever anyone talks about politics, they are almost always full of bs. Even if they know about world news and general politics, they always seem to kind of be talking blindly. Of course, if you’re dating someone who actually works in politics, maybe he might possibly know what he’s actually talking about. For the rest of us, it comes from the one political science class we took sophomore year of college and articles we’ve read online. So, yeah, we don’t know all that much.
In order to know appear ignorant, we’ll all pretend that we know what’s going on with the government. Though, if you’re talking about politics on your first date, things might be going south. Politics are not the sexiest subject to discuss on a first date, especially with how heated this election has been. It's understandable that you may want to find out up front if you're into, horror of all horrors, a Trump supporter but keep it to the getting-to-know-you chit chat.
3 About any toxic relationships in your life
If you don’t have a great relationship with your mother, father, brother, second cousin or whoever it may be, the best time to drop this detail on someone is not the first date. On the first date, you generally want to seem like you vibrate positive energy. The story about why you know longer feel a connection with this particular person is probably one that does not paint you positively. Even if you were treated badly, venting and telling someone about that negative relationship is not a story for the first date. First dates are meant for all the positive things going on in your life – past, present and future. Try to keep the conversation light, discuss your likes and dislikes but try to keep the family drama talk until date 4-5+. These are issues that matter to you and we get that however it is usually not best to divulge personal information like that to s stranger you are trying to get to know better.
2 If you care about sports
Even if you don’t give a hoot about sports, you’ll likely pretend to care about sports just a little bit. Sure, you can’t really talk in detail about things you don’t know. Like, there’s no way you can spit out some names of players if you don’t know the names of any players. You can, at least, nod along as he goes on about The Dolphins or The Eagles or some other animal name that is apparently the name of some sports team he likes. You’ll pretend to be interested and if you perhaps know anything at all about sports, you’ll probably drop that little factoid on him to impress him. But this is your time to be candid, you can admit that you aren't super into sports but you love their enthusiasm. For those of you lying, pretending to love the same team as them can get tricky. You don't want to be mentioning players who actually retired years ago.
Of course, if you're a girl who is into sports, you have a leg up on the rest of us in this area.
1 About basically everything
This may seem a little cynical but you’ll probably lie about everything on a first date. That’s just the way it is. When you’re on a first date, you’re trying your hardest to be the most perfect version of yourself. Guess what? No one is perfect and that’s just the way it is.
In real life, you can’t be agreeable, charming, beautiful and interesting every single minute of the day. There are going to be times when you disagree and you aren’t all that charming and interesting. You will not have a blow out every day and you will not be fully made up every day. Hell, you may not even put on pants every day. That's what Sundays are for.
Luckily though, first dates are just the stepping stone to finding someone who will love you and all of your imperfections, even if you're carefully hiding said imperfections on the first date.