There is this huge hole in your chest where you are pretty sure your heart used to be. It aches like there is still a mass and yet it feels like there is nothing there at all. All you can do is cry and for some reason you almost want to make the pain worse - as if you need to drain everything out before you can build back up . But there is also a small part of you that just wants to smile a little bit, to fill the hole up artificially for the time being and take your mind off of the whole thing. Maybe a combination is the best? Or maybe you just need to try it all to see what works.
15 Toilet paper
Kleenex may look classier and is pre cut into nice 'convenient sizes', but toilet paper is way softer on your face and, lets be honest, you need more than one of those Kleenex squares for this breakup. Something just feels better about unraveling a few layers of toilet paper to burry your tear stained face in, rather than daintily dabbing at your nose. You have nobody to impress anymore, go for it, drain your face.
14 Ice cream
Yup, you knew this would make the list. You cant even hear about a breakup without someone mentioning ice cream. It is a staple. It is almost like the ice cream is actually a magic medicine that stops crying in its tracks. It tastes delicious, you can eat it out of the container with the biggest spoon you have, and you can drown it is so much chocolate sauce you are not sure if you're having ice cream with chocolate sauce or chocolate sauce with ice cream. And, if you are lucky, it will give you a brain freeze that will force you to, at least for a moment, think about something that hurts more than your heart.
13 A Onesie
Because when nobody else is there to hug you, your onesie will be. One full zip up from head to toe to make you feel like you are not alone, and even if you are you are completely safe encased in cotton or flannel. There is no longer a need to dress up or look your best, heck - this hardly counts as getting dressed at all. Get cozy on your couch with your carton of ice cream and enjoy what it means to be comfortable.
*Snuggies not condoned
12 A chick flick
You need to be reminded that love still does exist, that men are not what is wrong with the world, that romance is not dead, and that.... oh heck, you just want to bawl your eyes out and imagine what it would be like to snuggle up next to that stud on the screen. Maybe tell yourself that its good the relationship ended so that you can be available for when Channing Tatum meets you and falls instantly in love - he just has to meet your first, right?
11 Sappy iTunes playlist
Another heart basher. When you are sad why not make yourself even more sad by listening to sad music about sad people in similar sad situations? Sad right? Sometimes music is actually great for putting things in perspective and giving you something or someone to relate to. Taylor swift made her millions off of this exact concept.
10 A powerful self-love iTunes playlist
On the flip side, if you are one of those proactive people that screams "NOBODY CAN GET ME DOWN" then maybe a powerful pump up song about loving yourself is exactly what you need to remind yourself of how wonderful you are. No tears, no pity, just a good old fashioned Hailee Steinfeld sing-at-the-top-of-your-lungs "I love myself, no I don't need anybody else!"
9 A big pillow
While the onesie is hugging you you may feel the need to hug something back. Grab a pillow or your biggest stuffed animal and just squeeze it until you can't squeeze any more. Burry your face in it, cry your heart out, hit it a few times if necessary - do what you need to do to release the built up sadness inside in a healthy, non-violent way. This energy release is proven to increase mood and health in the long run.
8 A shower/bath
Tired of going through toilet paper rolls to wipe the watery mascara away? Hop in the shower and cry as loud and as hard as you want. There is no mess and no judgement. It feels sort of awesome to just cry and not know which droplets are tears and which are fresh water from the shower. Once you are tired, pop in the plug and lay down for a nice relaxing warm bath to ease the rest of your tension away.
7 A box of chocolates
A wise man once said that "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get." In this case, you got a breakup. So crack open some Pot of Gold and dig in to see if something better is available. If you make it through the whole box, who cares?! Plus, it could be another instance of which type of pain you prefer - heartbreak or stomach upset.
6 Something new
Start something new. A new show, a new activity. Move your brain from the old life that you are used to (that included the person you need to take your mind off of), and towards a new life with new people and new opportunities. It could be something as small as starting a new Netflix original to binge watch, or getting out and taking a pottery class, or even signing up for soccer even though you've never played. Just make that little switch in your brain and see what happens.
5 A box of sparklers
Light up a sparkler and try not to smile. These fire wants of hope will create an instant twinkle in your eye that you won't be able to help but feel in your core. Watch its beauty flicker and spark and focus on nothing but that moment. It is a little unorthodox for a break-up kit but when you really think about it, it is perfect. Bringing the basics of joy back into your life one little spark at at time.
There is no angry way to say bubbles. Try it. "Bubbles". The angrier you try to sound the funnier it gets. Grab some from the dollar store or make your own. Whether they are in a bath or you are sitting on your deck blowing them off into the wind, bubbles are distractingly fun. This is another 'in the moment' exercise that forces your attention to the simplicity of the swirling and popping of soap and the weightlessness that is now surrounding you.
3 A good friend
No real explanation needed here. Love is love and when you are feeling down on it it is important to surround yourself with people who offer it. A distraction, someone to talk to, someone to make you smile, or simply silent company to make you feel like you are not entirely alone.
Dive into work. Be productive, make money, get creative. Sometimes making yourself feel useful and focusing on something that helps your career can help you forget about the heartache and help you focus on the things that make your mind feel great. Don't have a job with spare hours? Do something creative. Do some work for yourself. Paint, draw, build something from scratch, write a story or a blog, redecorate your house, rearrange some furniture. Anything that keeps you busy with a positive end goal will do.
1 A plane ticket/Full tank of gas
When all else fails. Take off. Sometimes getting out of the situation is the best thing to do. Leave behind the things that remind you of what you have lost and look for things that give you hope. Do a road trip through the mountains, drive to the beach, fly to an all-inclusive destination, visit a distant friend. Travel and get lost in the idea of getting lost for a short time. When you come back, you will be a different person with an new set of memories and a zest for the future.