Being dumped by someone you love will always be devastating, no matter the circumstances. That said, it’s one thing to face a breakup that you were expecting, but it’s entirely another thing to cope with waking up one day to the shock of your life: he doesn’t love you anymore. Being unexpectedly left behind is like a smack in the face from a pro basketball player's chest pass—you don’t know what hit you until it leaves you bruised and bloody.
Short of becoming a professional psychic, you probably won’t ever be able to predict the future actions of a loved one. But by paying attention to behavior and subtle clues that he doesn’t even know he’s leaving, you can definitely make an informed assumption.
There are a few key behaviors demonstrated by people who are about to leave their partners, even if they don’t even know it yet. Some of them will be more obvious than others, and usually involve the other person pushing you away without realizing and starting to prepare for their new life without you. If your partner is doing a lot of these things, you might be in for a rough time ahead.
Read on to find out the 15 things he might do right before he leaves you. Do you recognize any of these behaviors?
15 The House Is Slowly Becoming A War Zone
All healthy couples have fights and arguments. But the frequency at which these occur can tell you loads about the state of the relationship. Experts have claimed that toward the end of a relationship, couples will spend much more time fighting than talking or discussing, so if you guys argue all the time, it isn’t a great sign.
Constant arguments aren’t good, but this also doesn’t have to mean the end is near. Sometimes there’s a really serous underlying issue that you need to unpack and sort out before you can get back to your relationship happy place, so the fighting might be at an all-time high while that’s going on. At one point or another, though, you should go back to peace. If you just can’t get there, he might be subconsciously getting ready to leave.
14 Arguments Require Care, Which He Doesn't Have Anymore
At the same time, a total lack of fighting isn’t a good sign either. You don’t want to be biting each other’s faces off every minute of the day and barking down each other’s throats, but you also don’t want to have no confrontations whatsoever. The reality is that all couples do things to annoy each other, face challenges that cause them to disagree and find their individual personalities rising up against each other some of the time. It’s just natural!
If he never brings anything up with you, or glosses it over when you try to bring it up, it might mean that he doesn’t want to go to the trouble of having an argument because deep down he doesn’t care what the outcome is. People often argue because they care, and when he no longer cares, there’s no point to the relationship.
13 He's Paying Closer Attention To His Appearance And Seems To Be Trying To Impress Others
This one is tricky, because we don’t want you to think that a guy is planning to leave you just because he cares about how he looks! Everyone has their own personality and some people just worry about their appearances more than others—this doesn’t have to have anything to do with how they feel about their partner.
What you should look out for though, is a change in his behavior. If he never cared how he looked before but is suddenly going to great effort in that department, it could be because of a number of things. He might have realized you are out-of-this-world beautiful and wants to look better next to you. Or it might mean that he is trying to pick up someone to replace you. Pay attention if he’s being flirty with others, constantly going out or gets a dating app (even if it’s just for “fun”).
12 He Doesn't Seem To Consider Your Schedule Anymore
Good relationships involve compromise and two people working together to ultimately be part of each other’s lives. Somebody who can see a future with you and wants you to be part of their life will make room for you through compromise, and make sure everything works just as well for you as it does for them.
A guy might be thinking of breaking up with you (or wanting to and not even knowing it) if he stops being flexible with you, your schedule and your preferences. If he only wants to organize dates when they are convenient for him, only wants to eat at restaurants that serve what he likes and only wants to see his own family and friends when you’re together and never yours, it’s not good. It could be his indirect way of pushing you out so he doesn’t have to be the one doing the walking.
11 He Stops Making Future Plans That Include The Two Of You
Couples who are serious about each other make room for each other in their futures. Even if you come from totally different lives and had opposite plans before you met, falling in love is often powerful enough to get people to change everything from where they live to what job they do.
We’re not saying he has to change everything about his life for you, but you should both be thinking about a future together if you plan on staying together. Obviously this only happens once the relationship passes a certain stage, but once you get there, you should find that you’re making plans together. It’s not a positive sign if he no longer asks you about your future, stops talking about his plans and makes no effort to include you in them.
10 You're Moving Further And Further Down On His Priority List
As humans, we prioritize what’s important to us. Plain and simple. If you are important to somebody, they will find time for you. Even if they’re extremely busy and have a million other things going on—they will make time for you if you’re at the top of their list.
It’s a clear sign that he’s thinking about getting out, or falling out of love with you, if you find yourself dropping down the list as time goes on. You might have come before work, gym, friends and everything else at one point, but that doesn’t mean much if now he only squeezes you in when his week at work isn’t busy, his friends don’t need him and he’s already fit in his six workouts for the week.
9 Your Physical Connection Has Frozen Over And There's No More Special Intimacy
We’ve already mentioned that it could be cause for concern if he doesn’t want to get intimate with you at night anymore. It could also be a bad sign if the distance between you is getting so great that you have absolutely no physical connection left.
Do you hold hands, or kiss when you see each other? Do you still want to sleep together? Ask yourself if it would be weird for him to come up and hug you when you weren’t expecting it. Each couple has their own style, but those physical interactions are hugely important. It’s that part of the relationship that helps to push you past the barrier of just good friends. So if it’s no longer there, you could be heading back to Friend-ville.
8 He Tries To Cut You Out Of His Life, Even Though You Used To Belong
Sometimes, a guy will try to cut you out of his life before he breaks up with you. It can even happen before he consciously knows that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore! If he’s not feeling the same about you as he once did, he might feel an inclination to push you away.
This could be stopping you from seeing his family and friends, even though you always used to get along with them so well. It could be him not wanting to see your family and friends anymore, because he subconsciously knows he doesn’t belong amongst them anymore. Also watch out for him giving you back items that you’ve left with him, like clothes you keep at his house, or him asking for his own things back from you.
7 He Isn't As Caring Or Giving As He Once Was
Some partners will always be more naturally caring, kind and affectionate than others. Just because somebody is an innately colder or more reserved person doesn’t mean that they don’t love you! That being said, you should never have to question whether or not your partner cares about you. Even if they’re not big on PDAs, you should know that they’ve got your back.
When your significant other is suddenly a lot less concerned about you than he once was, and has stopped doing all the little things that used to make you feel special, it might be because he’s about to walk out. There could be other reasons behind this too—he could be mad at you for something—so it’s better to confront him about it than assume you know what’s going on inside his head.
6 His Patience Is Slim And It's Like He Gets Annoyed Just By You Breathing In The Same Room
All couples annoy each other. We’ve all been there, right? Even if you love each other passionately, you’re going to do things that drive the other one crazy from time to time. It’s just nature! At the same time, though, he shouldn’t be annoyed by the actual essence of who you are. It’s fine if the amount of Real Housewives you watch annoys him, or that you leave dishes in the sink. It’s a bigger problem, though, if the basic things that make you up annoy him, like your passions, your values and your personality.
If he wants to leave but doesn’t know it yet, he might find himself getting annoyed by the mere presence of you, because deep down he feels like he shouldn’t still be here. You might notice this through his constant snapping at you or his continual need for space away from you.
5 A Black Cloud Follows You Guys Around And The Chemistry Sparks Are Shot Dead
This is an incredibly simple yet clear sign that he’s about to leave you. Chemistry in a relationship is one of the most important aspects, and is powerful enough to destroy a couple that are otherwise perfect on paper. If you feel like the chemistry between you dissipates and you just have a feeling that something is off with him, it may be a sign that you no longer fit, and he knows it.
There’s nobody you can really ask to clarify this for you—you’ll just have to trust your gut instinct. Generally, your intuition can tell when something is off, so pay attention to little cues that you pick up from him that nag at you from the back of your mind, telling you something isn’t right.
4 No Matter How Much Effort You Make, You Can't Fix Things Between You
You won’t find a relationship without its problems. But the mark of a healthy relationship with hope for the future is the way in which those problems are dealt with. It’s a good thing if you both make an effort to solve the issues between you, and come out the other end stronger than ever.
But it isn’t a good thing if no matter how hard you try, you can’t fix what’s gone wrong between you. If you set aside time to talk about your problems, get a therapist and make an effort to change what bothers him, and it still doesn’t make a difference, it could mean he’s given up. The relationship may be beyond repair.
If that is the case, and you can see more than one of these signs, it’s a good idea to accept the truth as soon as possible. Even if you don’t decide to instigate the breakup, coming to terms with it will make it a little less painful to process.
3 He's Starting To Spend More Time Away From You Than With You
When somebody is madly in love with you, they want to be around you as much as possible. Sure, everyone needs time to themselves and you don’t want to smother each other, but generally, a person who loves you won’t get sick of you. They’ll miss not having you around when you’re not there, and crave your presence, even if there’s nowhere to go and nothing to say. They’ll be happy just to lie next to you and chill.
So if you notice that your partner is spending more and more time away from you, it could mean that he’s coming to terms with the fact that he is falling out of love with you. Don’t jump to conclusions though—make sure that he’s definitely avoiding you for a sustained period of time before you think about confronting him.
2 When You Are Together, He Seems Distracted And Isn't Fully Present
This one comes down to basic common sense. Most of the time, you can tell the difference between someone who genuinely wants to be somewhere, and someone who’s just going through the motions or doing something out of obligation (unless they’re a fantastic actor!). It’s the same with relationships: it’s pretty easy to tell when someone is no longer feeling the same way by their behavior. If he seems distracted when he’s with you, doesn’t listen to what you say and doesn’t act interested in your life, it might mean that he is only still with you because he feels obligated to be.
In other words, because he doesn’t know how to break up with you, or whether he’s ready to take that step, even though he’s not happy anymore. Everybody has off days and gets distracted every now and then, but you know it’s a problem when it’s his permanent move.
1 You Rarely Spend Nights Together Anymore
Spending nights together is an important part of most relationships. That alone time that you have in bed (even if you are just sleeping!) helps to develop the bond you have. It’s those moments that make your relationship strong and allow you to get to know each other better, to the point where you truly are in love.
If he’s there for the low-key things you do during the day, but is starting to avoid wanting to spend the night with you, it could be because he’s avoiding getting intimate and building up your relationship. That could be because he wants out, even if he doesn’t know it yet. Every couple has rocky patches, but at the end of the day (pun intended) he should want to be close to you when it matters.
Sources: allwomenstalk.com, bolde.com, madamenoire.com