No one has a perfect marriage, and even the most hopelessly in love couples will at some stage in their relationship have issues that they need to work through. However, while some couples only have minor fights and continue to live out their days as a strong and united union, there are others who fall out of love, or simply cannot tolerate the stranger that their spouse has become any longer.
Sometimes a married couple feels as if their problems are so overwhelming that the only solution is to dissolve their marriage and go their separate ways. Or, alternatively, they decide to take to an anonymous app called Whisper to discuss their issues, in the hopes that the online community could share their insights and advice. And maybe, just maybe, this will be enough for them to give their marriage a second shot.
But what sort of marriage problems do couples face, you ask? As these confessions reveal, it can be anything from people looking for attention and positive validation in another place, to those who are struggling because they feel disconnected from their spouse. Below are 15 confessions from people who have serious problems in their marriage, and how they are dealing with it.
15 She’s Not Focusing On The Good
It must be incredibly hard to focus on the good things in your relationship when there is so much that is wrong with it, but then at the same time, when you’re trying to salvage your relationship it’s not going to happen if you don’t try to focus on the positive. And it seems that the people in this relationship have two very different views.
This confession comes from the husband, who is desperate to try and build up his marriage, but he is finding it incredibly hard to do that when his wife is only focusing on the bad things. And despite acknowledging that the two of them have problems, he seems to be trying to look on the bright side, his wife, on the other hand, appears to have given up on the relationship entirely.
14 She’s Not Ready To Give Up
It’s awful to know that people are going through marriage problems, and it can happen to anyone and at any time, so it’s also a terribly scary thought. However, the silver lining with a few of these confessions is that most people are not willing to give up on their relationship and they really want to try and solve their problems.
But that doesn’t apply to everyone, and the woman behind this confession claims that she is terrified that her husband will give up on their marriage when their problems are (in her mind) fixable. For her, all they need is time to work through their issues, but she’s not entirely sure that her husband is going to stick around long enough to see it through. The sad thing is, they’ve only been married for a year, and already their relationship is going south.
13 Marriage Destroyed Their Relationship
I can’t tell you how many times I have read a confession or heard someone say that marriage destroyed their relationship, and considering my wedding is coming up later this year that’s not exactly what I want to hear. Not that I think that will ever happen, but it seems the man behind this confession also once thought that his relationship was rock solid.
According to him, marriage is the perfect way to ruin a good relationship, and he and his wife didn’t have problems until they got married. Could this have just been the timing in their relationship and the issues that started would have happened regardless of the fact that they were married? Or can the legal aspect of the relationship have changed so much? Apparently so.
12 He Brushes Off Her Feelings
If you want a strong relationship you need to respect and understand each other, and communication is extremely important. The woman behind this confession doesn’t seem to have any of these things in her marriage, and needless to say, she’s incredibly unhappy and has started to question whether she wants to be married at all.
This confession reveals that her husband “invalidates” her feelings all the time and even though she is honest and open with him about her problems with their marriage, he seems to ignore them. He also seems like a really awful human, because apparently, he acts as though she is the problem and turns everything on her, instead of acknowledging that they have things they need to work on. Maybe this is one situation where things are not meant to work out.
11 She’s Tired Of Feeling Invisible
Is your partner not meant to make you feel special? To show you that you’re loved and that you are perfectly imperfect? This is something that I hope my fiancé will continue to do, throughout our relationship, but it seems as though this is sometimes easier said than done, which this woman knows all too well.
She’s taken to Whisper to confess that she feels a bit invisible because she is seriously considering reaching outside her marriage for positive attention. Some people go outside of their marriage to have an affair or do something shady, but this woman’s confession is so sad because it seems as if the only thing she wants is to be noticed and to experience a positive reaction -- if only her husband realized just how much she's hurting.
10 Should She Just Ignore These Problems?
If there is something in your relationship that is causing a lot of tension, and this is the only real problem that you and your partner have, should you just pretend it doesn’t exist? This may keep the peace and it may allow the couple to go about their days without fighting, but if the issue has not been resolved then the problem is still there, and it’s never going to go away.
This is the issue that the woman behind this confession has, because she doesn’t want to fight with her husband, but at the same time there is something that she claims will “never” go away. And if she can’t deal with it, she’s going to resent her husband and their marriage, and now she's at a crossroads, where she's not sure whether or not she should rather be “right” or be “happy.”
9 His Spending Is Causing A Rift
A marriage is a partnership and you’re supposed to discuss everything and share everything. And before any decision is made regarding money, both people should agree on it, right? Well, maybe in an ideal world, because this woman’s husband doesn’t seem to be consulting her before he spends money and it’s causing a rift in their relationship.
According to this woman, her husband has a spending problem, and it really seems as though this man is splurging -- he’s not just buying himself a new pair of jeans or a good book because otherwise, I think it would be a bit unfair to get so upset about his actions. This issue is clearly playing on her mind because she feels as though one day it’s going to destroy her marriage. Wow.
8 The In-Laws Expect A Little Too Much
Like it or not (and a lot of people don’t) your in-laws are a part of your life. When you marry someone, you also marry their family, and at the very least you need to be civil to your spouse's parents. But there is a difference between someone getting on with their in-laws and being polite, and then having to do favors for them, and it seems that this man doesn’t like to do the latter. And his wife is not impressed by him not wanting to help out, which is causing troubles in their marriage.
I don’t know what favors he is expected to do, and whether they are small or big, but it does seem a bit unfair to get annoyed with your husband if he doesn’t want to do something for your family. His loyalty is to you, after all.
7 Secretly Wanting Their Partner To Call It Off
When you are in an unhappy relationship, there are probably going to be times when you consider divorce, and this is exactly what the person behind this confession is doing. That said, just because they are thinking of divorce, does not mean they are ready to ask their partner to end their marriage, instead (and why their confession is of so much interest), they secretly want their spouse to call time on everything.
I don’t know this person’s relationship, so I can’t make a judgement as to why they want things to work out this way, but maybe by not being the person who ended the relationship you are not viewed as being the bad guy. Perhaps there is less guilt involved if you are the one who is willing to stick it out, and maybe it’s easier to blame someone else for your failed relationship, than yourself.
6 Starting To Look For Attention In Other Places
This confession is probably the most frustrating because it's pretty obvious this guy is going to have marriage problems if he is looking for attention in other places. He has been with his wife for seven years (four of which have been as a married couple), and at this point in their relationship, the chemistry has started to fade and they no longer have much passion.
His solution to this problem has been to start flirting with a friend -- presumably because is missing the excitement that he once had in his marriage.
It’s hard not to judge, and although we don't know circumstances surrounding this man’s confession and it’s entirely possible that his wife is awful, as it stands, his actions just appear to be really mean. And the problems in his marriage are definitely not going to be resolved like this!
5 Marriage Counseling Is Making Her See She’s Not Crazy
When you feel as though your spouse is responsible for your marriage problems, what do you do? Apparently, it’s best to go to a marriage counselor!
The woman behind this confession doesn’t reveal if the counseling is helping the issues in her marriage or not, but she does admit that it's done her some good because she feels as though the marriage counselor has helped her realize she’s validated in her concerns about her husband.
The couple has reportedly been seeing the counselor for around a month, and the wife has come to terms with the fact that her husband is responsible for 95 percent of their issues, which is great news for her because now she no longer has to feel crazy. There's also a silver lining about this confession, because apart from the woman saying she is nuts for staying “for so long,” they are clearly trying to make their relationship work if they've enrolled in therapy.
4 The Cracks Are Already Starting To Show
There is no way of knowing how long you will be married for, and no one gets married with the intention of one day getting divorced. That said, life is unpredictable, and things happen and problems arise that you could never have foreseen.
Still, for most of us, we would hope that our marriage lasts for longer than two years because that's really not a long time when you consider you thought this relationship was going to last forever. And this is the reason why the woman behind this confession is so upset. She feels if her marriage ends after such a short amount of time, then she's a failure.
Although she is upset and struggling with some issues, deciding to walk away from a relationship when it's not working is not a failure, it's just an opportunity to find happiness a second time.
3 It Helps Not To Sugar Coat Things
When you have a problem in your relationship it’s probably best to be open and honest about it, because if you don’t say anything you’re going to regret it. Then those feelings are going to build up and cause resentment in your relationship, whereas, if you speak about your issues you can work through them.
And unlike the other people on this list, it seems that this person’s marriage problems are definitely going to be solved because their confession has a positive tone about it. They also have the right idea about how to deal with the issues that arise in their marriage, because this person acknowledges that even though no one’s marriage is perfect, the fact that they are real about their problems and choose not to sugar coat them helps to keep their union strong.
2 Prison Time Is Going To Cause Strain
Marriage, like any relationship, has its good times and it has its bad times, and when you have been with someone for an extended amount of time, there can be problems that arise in your relationship. However, some couples have problems that are a little more complicated than just two people not being able to see eye-to-eye, because according to the woman behind this confession one of the biggest problems in her marriage is that her husband is going to prison.
Although she chose not to go into detail about his offenses, and how long he is going to be behind bars, whatever happened seems to have caused tension between the two of them. And knowing that he is potentially going to be away from home for a long time must not be easy.
1 Whisper Is Creating Big Issues
The most annoying thing about this point is that this person already acknowledges that Whisper is causing tension in their marriage, but they still felt the need to take to the app to say they are going to quit it.
It’s not surprising that Whisper is causing problems in this person’s marriage because although it’s an anonymous app which is meant to be used for confessing secrets and thoughts, it’s also turned into a bit of a hookup app. And it seems as though there are a lot of people on it that get excited about messaging someone after they read their confession. Would you feel comfortable with your partner having an app like this? I feel as though for most people reading this would be in agreement that the answer to this question is “yes.”