It's time to crawl deep into the woods of the internet, where ugly trolls reside under bridges. What do these trolls do, you ask? They discuss which women's names they find unattractive, for completely and utterly baseless reasons. Part of you is thinking, "wow, this is really stupid", but another part of you is fearfully whispering "what if my name is one of those names?" It's a terrifying time for women - not because we're generally unsafe in society for a multitude of depressing reasons, but because men judge us by our first names. I know, I know, as a fellow woman, I too am petrified.
You might be wondering, what about a name makes a man think I'm unattractive? As it turns out, if your name sounds like a certain component of a hamburger, they won't want to date you. If your name resembles the pronunciation of 'stuffy nose', that's also a huge turn-off, apparently. Not only that, but there is a name on this list the reminds men of... overcooked eggplants. Seeing inside the minds of men was a frightening ordeal, and I'm here to share with you how incredibly stupid they are. Is your name the reason why men don't find you attractive? Here are 15 female names guys are least attracted to, according to Reddit.
15 "I Went To School With At Least A Dozen Tayla's..."
"Now I just hate the name, it's gross."
I guess it's possible for there to be too much of a good thing. If you're thinking, "I've literally never heard that name", it might be because you're not from Australia, where the name is most popular. It's a petty reason for finding a woman unattractive, but some men have weird tastes. Whatever, he's probably not worth going out with. While Reddit has nothing good to say about Tayla's, what is Urban Dictionary thinking? Tayla "Is perfect although she doesn't see it. Tayla is self-conscious but shouldn't be because she's beautiful. Tayla is an incredibly loyal friend and will always be there for you, just make sure you're there for her too." Yeah, take THAT, rude Reddit boy.
14 "All Names With 'Ley' and 'Leigh' Make Me Want To Yell At The Mother."
"I hate this new fad going around here in the Alabama and Georgia area where they come up with these "different southern Belle" type names for girls. For example, Kinsleigh, Ansleigh, Pazleigh, Tresleigh."
Don't judge a book by its name, Reddit boy. Talk about petty preferences, am I right? While it's arbitrary to find a girl unattractive and choose not to date her based on the last few letters of her name, some of his examples are definitely a little odd. Maybe we should be calling attention to the mother? I mean, Pazleigh? You're asking for your daughter to be bullied in school with such a bizarre name. Sometimes, parents take it too far. It might be a little easier to agree with this man, but it's questionable if people named Tresleigh actually exist.
13 "Top Hated Name? Crystal."
"My best friend is named Crystal. I wouldn't date her. My second most hated name is Chad, which happens to be her brother's name. I laugh really hard at this."
Have you told your alleged best friend that you hate her name and wouldn't date her based on it? There are probably other reasons Crystal is stuck in the friendship zone other than her name. Can you think of a name that would make you refuse to date someone? Crystal is one of the most popular girls' names in North America, so this Reddit user just managed to offend a lot of people. While many parents name their daughter's this because of how beautiful crystals can be, not everyone thinks its so precious. Let's hope this guy avoids all Chad's and Crystal's.
12 "Gretchen: Your Name Makes Me Think About Trolls And Overcooked Eggplant."
"It sounds like throwing up a little bit in my mouth. I'm sorry, you're probably very nice. Plus, they always have big hair that's full of secrets."
This is WILD from start to finish. Trolls and overcooked eggplants? This Reddit boy either has a wild imagination or knows someone really strange named Gretchen. It honestly sounds like he's describing a witch. It's unfortunate he's whitewashing all women named Gretchen simply because this guy had one bad experience with a big-haired eggplant troll named Gretchen. The fact that he has the audacity to apologize because you're "probably very nice", just goes to show how ridiculous men can be with their preferences. I am sorry to all the Gretchen's out there; this boy is a jerk.
11 "Nevaeh. Period."
"Knew somebody who named their kid this, but spelled it Neveah. Couldn't even figure out how to spell heaven backwards."
"The name is trashy."
While it sounds pretty, you're setting your child up for trouble with this name. The resounding Reddit opinion was that it sounded pretentious. It's beautiful and original spelling heaven backwards to create a unique name, but it's gained rapid popularity over the last couple years, and apparently, some men aren't a fan of it. On the bright side, if you're feeling glum because your name is Nevaeh (even though it's gorgeous), you can turn it into a rendition of a famous Rick Astley song. "Nevaeh gonna give you up, Nevaeh gonna let you down, Nevaeh gonna run around and desert you." No?
10 "Skyler. It's Somehow Both Pretentious And Trashy At The Same Time."
"I think Breaking Bad ruined that name for me. I wouldn't date that Skyler."
Okay, hold up. If you don't sympathize with Skyler from that show, you are COLD. But I digress. If you decide you find women unattractive based on their names in relation to characters on a television show, you're going to have a rough time. In 2017 alone, it was in the top 400 most popular baby names for girls. That is a lot of beautiful women you're dissing because of a television show. Could this be the pettiest reason to find a woman unattractive? If you're picking your girlfriend based on her name, a Skyler probably wouldn't want to date you anyways. There are some serious trolls crawling out of this side of Reddit. BOY, BYE.
9 "Paisley. It's A Pattern On Fabric, Not A Name."
"It's also a town in Scotland."
Paisley has been growing in popularity over the years - other than her name, is there something about a Paisley that makes her not worth dating? Let's consult Urban Dictionary. Well, be prepared to be enlightened, because Urban Dictionary defines it as "the ancient term for the communal lavatory situated at the edge of a prehistoric Pictish settlement." Um, did I read that right? Communal lavatory. Paisley means public bathroom? Let's be honest, that is a bit of a turn-off. We should reconsider naming our daughters this - not because a stupid boy thinks you can't name someone after a fabric, but because we don't want to start naming our girls after toilets. Sorry, Paisley... Maybe your parents should have researched your name a little more.
8 "I've Always Hated Nancy."
"Every Nancy has been one of the nicest people. The name just makes me go limp. What kind of parent looks at their bundle of joy and thinks 'I'm gonna name her Nancy'."
"If you name your kid Nancy, she comes out of the birth canal a 64-year-old woman."
Can someone get a Nancy on the line to confirm this? Are you born a 64-year-old woman? Honestly, these days, no one usually likes the name Nancy. A parent doesn't name their daughter this unless they really dislike her, so we can understand why men feel the same way. It's outdated. As it turns out, a real-life Nancy responded to this Reddit conversation and confirmed all the fabled notions of women named Nancy. She said, "Nancy here. I'm 25 and spend most of my time quilting, reading, and being referred to as an 80-year-old woman inhabiting a 20-year-old's body." Well, we have proof!
7 "Crystal. It Just Screams Trailer Park. For That Matter, So Do Felicia, Destiny, And Faith."
"My teacher tells the story of how he once had a girl named "Crystal Neth". One day he accidentally let [the name of an illegal substance] slip out. They all laughed about it after they dealt with the upset father of course."
"You are incredibly right. I know one girl who spells her name Krystle."
Oh, some more Crystal haters, hm? And on top of that, they had to rain down a little more and throw all the Destiny's, Faith's, and Felicia's into this mess. To a certain extent, it's understandable; if you're naming your daughter Felicia nowadays, you're asking for trouble. Bye. Would names like this make you reconsider dating someone? It's stunning that a name can change the way you see someone, and make them less attractive. Do these scream trailer trash to you?
6 "Nikki. A Nikki Will Fake A Pregnancy."
"I hate the name Nikki. A girl I went to school with faked a pregnancy for seven months, even got the adoptive parents' hopes up. They had the nursery ready to go, it was horrible."
"That's absolutely awful. What sort of sick person would do that?"
Should all Nikki's be labeled as unattractive because of this one Nikki's poor behavior? Maybe. It's certainly a way to see someone as less attractive. A name can be the first impression before you even meet the person. While I can guarantee not every Nikki ever would do such a disgusting thing, if you knew a girl named Nikki who did this, you'd probably hate Nikki's for the rest of your life as well. It could overshadow anyone, regardless of how beautiful they are. Apparently, men hate this name.
5 "Emilee, Kaylee, Maylee, Baylee."
"You sound unattractive with these names no matter what. I teach swim lessons in a working-class neighborhood and every family has at least one girl with a name like these. Emily is fine I guess, but it's the "lee" that kills me. Why? You are causing spelling issues for your child for the rest of their life."
Is it just this one Reddit boy with this ghastly opinion, or do other men share it? Those are WILDLY popular names you're dissing there, sir. Someone with opinions these strong is probably named Larry. Would you date a Larry? Hell no, because he says stupid stuff like this. If men are going to judge women based on a decision that is out of their control, TWO can play this game. You're stupid, Larry.
4 "Tiffany. It's My Parents Dog's Name."
"I hate that dog. I also hate the name Brittany."
LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT. If you hate a dog, any dog, there is no girl in the universe that will look your way. That is the number one way to be unattractive to a woman! Hating animals is a serious no, so this boy's opinion is super irrelevant. Let's all hope that Tiffany gnaws off his foot. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but honestly, no one wants to hear this guy talk. And of course, while he's hating on Tiffany, he has to throw the trillions of people named Brittany into this mess as well. It's time to go cuddle your puppies and kittens and tell them about all the rude boys in the world like this one.
3 "Girls Named Hunter."
"I know one. She's the redneck whiskey tango everyone expects."
I am confident in assuming that it takes a redneck whiskey tango to know a redneck whiskey tango. Literally, what the heck is that? This dude needs to chill. Don't be so stuck up, have you not heard naming girls traditionally masculine names is all the rage? Let's just take a peek at the incredibly successful and beautiful BLAKE Lively, with her adorable and charming daughter JAMES. I hope her and Ryan name their next baby girl Hunter, just to spite this stupid Reddit boy. Let us combat this madness by starting a gender war. I hereby proclaim, on the behalf of all women, that we hate boys named Hunter. It's your move, Reddit boys.
2 "Patti. Congratulations, You Sound Like A Hamburger."
I need to apologize to all the Patti's that might be reading this because this is hilarious. Sure, this man is dissing your name, but he has the audacity to congratulate you for sounding like food. Are we sure this isn't a compliment? There is nothing more loved on this planet than food and a good ol' hamburger at that. This has inspired me to name one of my future children Patti, and I owe it all to this Reddit boy.
He's certainly being oddly specific about the spelling. He mentions Patti, but what about Patty? Why is Patty acceptable, yet Patti is the equivalent of a cold shower with your grandma? There are too many questions to ask, but the bottom line is, men find Patti unattractive. It's okay Patti - I'd love you.
1 "Stephanie Sounds Like 'Stuffy Nose', Bleh"
"I wouldn't date one."
It boggles my mind that men feel comfortable making these confident declarations based entirely on a name about women they've never seen or met before. It just goes to show how ridiculous they are. It's a shame we have to deal with their flawed logic. You're probably slowly pronouncing 'Stephanie' out loud right now, trying to figure out if it actually does sound like a stuffy nose. Wouldn't it be hilarious if somewhere out there, a Stephanie with a cold and a stuffy nose exists? I think it's time to stop giving these Reddit trolls the attention they crave by shaming everyone with popular names for foolish reasons. They're not worth my time, and they're certainly not worth yours. Now, quit trying to pronounce Stephanie.