The first date. Do you love it or hate it? So many people date like it’s going out of style. They have their calendar booked weeks in advance and seem to meet people everywhere they go. Others are happily single and not all that pressured to find The One. No matter which category you fall into, you’re probably familiar with the worst part of a first date: the awkward silences. They happen whether or not you’re a super quiet or outgoing person – they just kind of come with the first date territory. But you don’t have to chat about the weather or get totally bored. Here are 15 great first date conversation topics. So the next time you’re meeting someone for the first time, just take a deep breath and bring up any one of these things. It just might be a good match.
You’re a quirky person. Everyone is, even if they try to hide it. The truth is that you can’t be perfect 100 percent of the time – and anyway, why would you even want to? Our quirks make us cool and they prove that there’s only one person like us in the entire world. So go ahead and let your date know that you get a little neurotic about work sometimes or that you feel kind of like a loser when no one comments on your Facebook posts. Say it with a smile and you’ll win your date over in no time… Of course, the question is, has he won you over too?
14 Travel Plans
How someone travels says a lot. Do they take off every summer and miss two months of work to travel all of Europe? That’s okay if you’re in college, but as you approach your thirties, you might want to start thinking about building a life and career for yourself. So pay close attention to what your date says about their upcoming travel plans. If they have a normal short trip coming up, that could be a good sign that they might make a good boyfriend, because they’re not going to just take off randomly and leave you for several months.
13 What You Want
Who says you can’t say that you’re looking for love on a first date? Let’s break all the rules and just go for it. Honestly is always the best policy and in a world full of hook-ups and Tinder dates, it’s pretty awesome to just come right out and say that you want something real. If your date feels the same way, at least you know you’re both on a similar page, and a second date might be on the horizon. If he’s just looking for something casual, well, you can get out before anything really happens. Even if you’re a bit nervous to bring up what you want, you’ll never regret being honest.
Everyone has dreams, right? At least they should. Dreaming is an amazing, magical, and beautiful part of life. It doesn’t count you a single penny and yet it’s much more rewarding than thinking about all the things that are wrong with you or your life. It’s a great idea to share your dreams for the future (both personal and professional) on a first date. It tells the other person who you truly are and it also gives you a good idea of who they are, too. That’s totally crucial when you’re making the decision whether or not a second date is in order.
Sure, you’re all grown-up now and part of the sometimes frustrating, sometimes awesome working world, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still chat about your blissful college days. Chances are that was a time in your life when you were carefree and idealistic. You were passionate about your major, even if you would never really need to know medieval history or ancient law in the real world, and you had tons of thoughts and opinions about almost everything. Why not share your college experiences and funny stories with your date?
Sure, the hobby question is a little overplayed on first dates, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a good one. This tells you a lot about someone. Does your date only watch baseball on lazy Sunday afternoons and never seems to leave his apartment? Why don’t you share that you’re a total workout buff or love to spend long weekend afternoons cooking up a masterpiece in your tiny kitchen? If you want to show someone your real self and personality, mentioning your hobbies and interests is a good way to go. And you can see if you have anything in common with your date.
Call them addictions, obsessions, guilty pleasures – whatever they are, they truly describe who you are more than your resume. Sure, you’re a lawyer or advertising writer or receptionist… but your real identity is that you know every single Taylor Swift song by heart or you binge-watched The Good Wife in a month. Don’t be scared to let your date know what you love and what excites you. He’ll have those obsessions, too, and besides, if you two get along and start actually dating, he’ll find out soon enough. Better to warn him now that you kind of have an addiction to The Real Housewives.
8 Your Daily Routine
Sounds boring. But it’s totally not. Your daily routine is more than just getting up, eating breakfast, and going to work, then coming home and grabbing dinner before hitting the couch. It’s about what excites you, what makes you actually want to wake up in the morning, and how you choose to spend your time. If you head to a yoga class right after work or during lunch, that says a lot about you. If you see your parents every Tuesday night for dinner like clockwork, that proves you’re a great daughter.
Speaking of parents, family is a pretty crucial first date conversation topic. It’s pretty important to know right away if the guy is a family man or not, particularly if your family is really close and that matters to you. It’s always fascinating to learn where someone comes from and what kind of family background they have. This also matters if you’re in the market to settle down someday soon or even in the future. You don’t exactly want to date someone who hates his family and never sees them.
Who do you surround yourself with? That can say a lot about a person, especially as we get older and aren’t forced to see people all the time at school or in our college dorms. Make sure to mention some of your friends throughout the evening – it will show your date that you’re a super loyal friend and that close friendships mean a lot to you. It will influence him to talk about his own social circle, and you can figure out if he’s a good pal or doesn’t seem to give a crap about the people in his life.
Work is kind of an obvious subject to talk about on a first date since, of course, that’s how you spend your days. But a less obvious but crucial subject? That would be your boss. If you can speak about your boss in a polite and professional way, and even make it sound like you totally respect them and find them inspiring (even if it’s a little white lie), then you will be showing your date that you have an amazing ability to go with the flow. If he whines and complains about his own boss, you’ll know he’s kind of immature.
4 Pop Culture
If you’re the biggest pop culture addict around, it’s up to you to decide if you need to date someone who’s on your level. You probably want your date to at least have a Netflix account (yup, there are actually human beings walking around who have never watched Netflix). It’s a good idea to bring up the last movie you saw (either in the theatre or on your couch) or your fave band or the TV show you’re currently in love with. It’ll give you a sense of what your date’s pop culture tastes are.
3 Favorite Memories
Do you remember your earliest memory? Maybe you don’t but your family has tortured you with enough embarrassing/awkward stories that you feel like you can recall exactly what it was like to be a kid. Or maybe you don’t have any early memories but went on some trips or experienced some mishaps in your everyday life that you’ll never, ever forget. Why not take a trip down memory lane on your first date? If anything, you’ll make him laugh and it might inspire him to chat a bit about his own hilarious memories.
People say to never, ever chat about politics on a first date or during any kind of formal dinner setting. But it’s actually not the worst idea in the world. Why? Because the way you feel about politics, the party you support and who you vote for says a ton about the kind of person that you are. If you’re very conservative, you won’t be able to mesh well with a super liberal or super left-wing guy. If you’re very liberal on the other hand, you won’t be able to relate to a super conservative. Might as well find out right now when you’re only on your first date.
You’re not supposed to talk about your religious beliefs on a first date either, but you should go for it. If you’re very religious, you probably want someone who feels the same way… and ditto if you don’t follow a certain religion at all. This is important for a future relationship because you want to know that the person you’re going to marry and possibly have children with agrees with going to church every Sunday or only on holidays, or not at all. Plus religion and families don’t exactly mix well, so if he’s more religious than you are and he’s cool with your beliefs, his parents might not be.