It doesn't matter if your man's birthday is coming up or if you want to do some early holiday shopping, because if you're going to buy your man a gift, it better be a good one. If you get him the wrong thing, it could make him question how well you know him. That could lead to him thinking about whether you two should break up, which is never a good thing, especially on a special occasion. That's the time when he should be cherishing your relationship, not when he should be considering ending it.
Of course, the only thing worse than giving him a gift that he doesn't like is giving him a gift that flat out insults him. If you wrap up anything that makes him think about how much weight he needs to lose, how dirty his house is, or how much hair he's losing, then you won't be getting a thank you. The only thing you'll be getting is a dirty look and a kick out the door. If you want to keep your relationship strong, then here are a few gifts you should never buy the boy you're with, because they're bound to insult him:
15 A Diet Cookbook
If your boyfriend loves to whip up food, then feel free to buy him a cookbook from his favorite celebrity chef. Just make sure that you don't buy him one that's filled with healthy meals that are meant for weight loss. If you do, then he'll assume you're trying to tell him something. Even if he's been trying to lose weight for a while, he won't want to be reminded of how chunky he is on his birthday or your anniversary. Gifts are supposed to be lighthearted and fun, not reminders of the hard work that he has to do to get fit.
14 Hair Dye
If your boyfriend has been getting a little gray, you should let him figure out a solution on his own. Most men try to act like they don't care about their looks, but they're actually sensitive when it comes to their hair. That's why you should avoid giving hair dye to your boyfriend, unless he's been talking about wanting to change the color of it. While you're at it, you should probably avoid buying him a toupee, or any other products for his hair. If it's something that you'd be insulted to receive yourself, then you should probably shouldn't give it to him.
13 A Gift Certificate For A Wax
Men don't like to be told when and where they should shave. Even if you've been nagging him to wax his chest and he agreed to do so, you shouldn't buy him a gift certificate for the procedure. Not only is it insulting, because it suggests that you can't wait until he changes the way he looks, but getting a wax is also pretty painful. No one wants to receive a gift that's guaranteed to bring them pain. If you really have your heart set on getting him waxed, then at least disguise the fact by getting him a gift certificate to a spa, where he can get a massage and mud bath along with that wax.
12 An Exercise Ball
Giving your man an exercise ball as a gift is the same as telling him he needs to drop ten pounds. It doesn't matter if you actually want him to lose weight, or just want to prevent him from having a heart attack at an early age, because he's going to be insulted either way. If you want to encourage him to exercise, you can buy an exercise ball for yourself and ask him to try it out. Just don't pull the move on a special occasion, like during the winter holidays. That's the one time of year when overeating is allowed, so wait until the new year to push him to his physical limits.
11 Gift Cards
Most people buy gift cards for the relatives and coworkers in their lives that they don't know very well. After all, it's difficult to find the perfect gift, but it's easy to pick up a gift card to any old restaurant or clothing store. Of course, if you buy your boyfriend a gift card, he'll probably be upset over the fact that you didn't “care enough” to actually put thought into your gift. If he ends up giving you a sentimental present that it took him months to track down, then he'll be extra annoyed. When it comes to gift giving, it's the thought that counts, and gift cards don't require all that much thought.
10 An Air Freshener
If you give someone an air freshener, deodorant, or anything else meant to cover up a disgusting smell, they'll assume that you're trying to tell them something about their body odor. Even if it's clear that you bought it for him, because it holds a special scent, it's still a pretty cheap gift, which means it's not going to be appreciated. Unless you're buying a gift for your Secret Santa and aren't allowed to spend more than five dollars, then you shouldn't be stingy with your cash. If you're going to get your man something from the dollar store, then why buy him anything at all?
9 A Regift
If your birthday comes around and you receive a video game that you hate, but your boyfriend would love, feel free to give it to him. Just don't wrap it up for his birthday and pass it off as a gift that you bought for him personally. If he finds out that you actually regifted his present, then he's going to be insulted. It suggests that you didn't care enough about him to go to the mall, or even browse through online stores, to get him something special. He might even consider it a form of lying, which will only hurt your relationship in the long run.
8 Advice Books
If your boyfriend is a struggling writer, then buying him a book about grammar is a sweet, thoughtful gift. However, in most other cases, he won't be happy to receive a book filled with advice, especially if it's a self-help book. It'll only make him wonder if there's something wrong with him—or even worse, if there's something wrong with your relationship. After all, if you're giving a book that's meant to help him become a better person, it must mean that you think his personality needs some work. That'll make him wonder if you've been thinking about breaking up with him, which is definitely not something that your man wants to think about on a special occasion.
If your man loves to spend time in the garage, then a tool box will make a great gift. However, if he never lifts a finger to help you around the house, he won't be pleased with what the present is suggesting. If you've been bugging him about fixing the sink for weeks, and then end up buying him the tools he needs to do that job, he won't be thrilled. After all, the gift means that he no longer has an excuse to put off the chore. In a way, tools are really just a gift for you, not for him.
6 A Bathroom Scale
Here's another gift that will make your man feel self-conscious. If he's a few pounds overweight, then he's already feeling insecure about his gut, so there's no reason for you to put even more pressure on him to lose the extra weight. Besides, presents are supposed to be fun to open, not embarrassing. If you let him unwrap a scale in front of his friends or family, his cheeks are going to turn red. You don't want to be known as the rude girlfriend who made her man look like a fool in front of everyone he cares about, do you? If you really want him to lose weight, then you can sign him up for a spin class with you. Just don't tell him about it until after that special occasion is over and done with.
5 Tickets To The Opera
If you buy him tickets to a hockey game so he can see his favorite team play, you'll be his favorite person in the world. However, if you buy him tickets to the opera, which he's never shown an interest in, he won't be jumping up and down. Even though you're going to be the one who's dragged along to whatever event you buy tickets for, you need to put his wants in front of your own. Otherwise, it'll be clear that the gift was meant for you. As tempting as it is, you can't buy tickets for yourself and pretend that they were actually a thoughtful gift for your partner. He'll see right through you.
4 Cleaning Products
Buying your man a mop and some soap isn't going to push him to clean his apartment. The only thing it's going to do is push him away from you. After all, the gifts are bound to insult him, because they'll make him think that you're disgusted by the way that he lives. If you're desperate to get his place cleaned up, then you should hire a maid for the day or clean up the house yourself. He still might be a little insulted over the free cleaning service, but at least it won't require him to do any work himself.
3 Body Lotion
Body lotion might be an acceptable gift for your man to buy you, especially if you're the type who has dozens of containers littering her nightstand. However, your man probably isn't as interested in body lotion as you are. That means that he won't be pleased to receive a bottle of it, even if it smells just like you. Think about it: Lotion is applied to the areas on your body that need to be moisturized. If you give your man a bottle of it, he'll come to the logical conclusion that there's something wrong with his skin. Then he'll start to feel self-conscious about how cracked and calloused his elbows and knuckles are.
2 A Gym Membership
There are a million ways to insult your man about his weight, and buying him a gym membership is one of them. No one wants to be told that they need to exercise, especially by the person they've been sleeping with. It'll make him wonder if you find him less attractive than you used to, and if sex has been worse than it used to be. Besides, most people don't end up using the gym memberships that they bought themselves, so what are the chances that he's going to use a gym membership that he didn't even want in the first place? If you buy him one, you're basically wasting your money.
1 Nothing At All
The only thing worse than receiving an insulting gift is receiving nothing at all. Your boyfriend will either assume that you completely forgot to buy him a present, or that you don't care about him enough to waste your money on him. Either way, you'll end up in a fight if you decide to let a special occasion pass by without getting him a gift. That doesn't mean that you have to waste your entire month's paycheck on an expensive watch for him. It's the thought that counts, which means he should be happy with a homemade gift or a home cooked meal. You just have to give him something.