Coffee, one of the best drinkable creations around (hi, wine!), can have a huge influence not only on our energy and productivity levels, but also on our behaviour and overall quality of life. Depending on what you’re drinking and how you’re drinking it, coffee can have numerous proven health benefits, including reducing your risk for type-2 diabetes, liver disease, heart failure, and Parkinson’s disease. That little boost of energy you look forward to every morning, or that calming cuppa in the afternoon, can also enhance your outlook on life, and provide you with a more positive perspective as you take on the day.
We’ve always been curious about what your coffee order says about your personality, so with that in mind, we started scoping out Starbucks menu favourites to see what type of customer enjoyed what type of beverage. (We know that not everyone is a total caffeine addict, though, which is why we included some tea drink options as well.) So, having just passed both International and National Coffee Days on the calendar, and with whispers of “Pumpkin Spice Latte” on everyone’s lips, here’s a little breakdown on what some of your favourite Starbucks drinks might say about you.
The Mocha – or Caffè Mocha – is a chocolate-flavoured variation of the latte, served with or without the sweet add-ons of whipped cream, chocolate powder, syrup, or sprinkles. The Mocha Drinker is still a bit of a kid at heart, as is evidenced by their preference for a coffee drink that doesn’t really taste like coffee. During trips to movie theatres, food festivals, or fairs, they prefer sweet dishes over savoury ones, and will always choose chocolate over cheese if given the choice.
The Mocha Drinker can be identified by their friendly, outgoing attitude and penchant for showing you pictures of their pets. They’re totally adorable and one of the greatest friends, but they are kind of terrible at keeping commitments because they’re not quite ready for adult responsibility. If you ever invite a Mocha Drinker out to dinner, though, you can be sure you’ll always have a friend with whom to split dessert!
The Americano (or Caffè Americano for all you traditionalists) is a style of coffee that is basically espresso plus hot water, served iced or otherwise. The Americano Drinker is the type of person who imagines themselves to be edgy, but is really just a big teddy bear, because let’s face it, the Americano is just watered-down regular coffee.
To easily identify this type of coffee drinker, look for pseudo-hipster indicators such as thick-framed glasses (usually worn without a prescription), expensively destroyed jeans, and some type of old-man shoe – think Oxfords or loafers. The Americano Drinker has travelled to Italy once and insists that the best coffee can be found in the country’s small Southern villages – which makes their choice of coffee beverage all the more confusing. The Americano Drinker’s favourite hobbies include writing their ambitious screenplays in a Moleskin journal, attending concerts for bands that were popular two years ago, and foreign films that they will over-explain to you.
13 PSL (Pumpkin Spice Latte)
You already know which type of coffee drinker has the Pumpkin Space Latte as their favourite, so let’s give it up for the typical #whitegirl! She loves all things about fall, and uses Instagram as a way to showcase her favourite photogenic autumn activities, which includes apple-picking with her S/O and jumping into a pile of freshly-raked leaves. (She saves Snapchat for trying on funny filters with her #squad.)
The PSL Drinker is outgoing to the point of obnoxious, but you know she’s really just a sweetheart even though she sometimes speaks without thinking. She loves reality TV and has really strong opinions about The Bachelorette. She’s more than a little bit like Taylor Swift, but will make you the best chocolate chip cookies you’ve ever tasted. While she’s aware that there are better pumpkin spice lattes mixed up and served elsewhere, she’s committed to the Starbucks concoction because those leaf-patterned cups are just so pretty!
12 Shaken Iced Tea
Namaste. Introducing the Shaken Iced Tea Drinker, the girl who looks better in those Fabletics fashions than Kate Hudson herself. She walks or bikes everywhere, not only for her own health, but for the health of the environment, and has some tattoo on her body that she got when she was backpacking through Asia.
Gluten-free or vegan, the Shaken Iced Tea Drinker can master the most advanced of yoga poses without breaking a sweat. She’s ambitious and has a few eco-friendly entrepreneurial ventures on the go, which she will talk your ear off about. You’d hate her if she weren’t so nice, but it’s her kind heart and good soul that make her a must in your friend file. (You only see her a few weeks every year in between her travels, which helps.) The Shaken Iced Tea Drinker tries to be a bit more low-maintenance, but the drink takes some effort to make, which tells you most of what you need to know about the Shaken Iced Tea Drinker’s MO. Peace.
Are you lusting over the Chanel runway or saving your cash for an investment pair of Prada pumps? You might be a Cappuccino Drinker. Sophisticated and sexy, the Cappuccino Drinker oozes international appeal. With a keen eye for detail and a perfectionistic streak, Cappuccino Drinkers live life on their terms and in style. They imagine themselves to be a bit more European than most, and love the finer things in life, so if you’re thinking of dating a Cappuccino Drinker, be prepared to shell out some cash!
All that foam on a cappuccino means these coffee drinkers are inclined to be a bit more obsessive – it takes a lot of practice to perfect that balance! They will agonize over details and ask if you’re okay multiple times before being satisfied. They try to hide their neurotic interior under a sleek surface, but once you crack that shell, the Cappuccino Drinker may be the best person to show you the rest of the world.
10 Flat White
Ah, the Flat White, a drink that is huge in Australia and which many coffee connoisseurs take very seriously. Made with espresso and steamed milk, it’s the microfoam on top that gives it its name. (That addition of “microfoam” should tell you almost everything you need to know about the Flat White Drinker.)
A born-and-bred hipster, the Flat White Drinker is unapologetic in their choice of cliché. While most people with tastebuds know that a Flat White is pretty terrible, the Flat White Drinker insists upon its merits. That stubbornness is a major trait of this coffee addict, who will debate you on any subject, especially the nerd specialties: books, music, movies, history, and TV. The Flat White Drinker has a few skeletons in the closet, though: while they talk about all their favourite independent coffee shops, they hold a secret Starbucks addiction that could destroy their whole street cred.
9 Secret Menu Item
If your friend is doing it for the ‘Gram or has 15-minute long Snapchat Stories on the regular, chances are they’re a Secret Menu Drinker. Whether is be the Pink Drink or the Captain Crunch Frappucino, drinkers of secret menu items are exhibitionists. They are always the ones the claim they’ve found the newest thing, which can be a huge benefit to you, but sometimes they’re all talk and no action. Secret Menu Drinkers pride themselves on their originality and creativity, but they don’t always measure up (just like their over-hyped drinks).
Secret Menu Drinkers are more often than not pretty high maintenance, as the drinks aren’t usually well known across Starbucks locations, but they bank on their quirky personality and sense of humour for you to let your annoyance slide. Secret Menu Drinkers are lovers of life who want to share everything with the world, and with a heart that big, you can’t fault them for their minor irritations.
8 Chai Latte / Dirty Chai
Chai Latte Drinkers are a bit of a contradiction: they love being trendy, but also like all things natural and organic. They may be vegetarians, but they also may know the best BBQ joint in town. Chai Latte Drinkers are sensible people, and often give very good advice. They may be the Mom of the friend group, who always ensures that everyone gets home safe at the end of the night.
However, if Chai Latte Drinkers are in need of a Dirty Chai, watch out! Dirty Chais are Chai Lattes with an added shot of espresso, so if your Chai Latte Drinker is sipping on this, then you know they mean business. They’ll use their logic and smarts to their advantage, and can beat you in any fight. Chai Latte/Dirty Chai Drinkers can be Jekyll-and-Hyde people, who are moody one minute and calm the next, so if you’re approaching a Chai Latte Drinker about an important issue, tread carefully.
If the Espresso Drinker isn’t your Italian grandpa, they’re the person you’ve always been a bit too intimidated to talk to. Espresso Drinkers are leaders of the pack, and they never take no for an answer. A bit insufferable, the Espresso Drinker can be more than a little picky and definitely have their noses higher in the air. They feel the need to show off a bit more (the proof is in the tiny cups), which is why you might see them eating or smoking outside, a brooding-yet-sexy look on their face.
A hard worker, the Espresso Drinker efficiently uses their caffeine boosts to help them on their next big projects, and power through the day. If you’re looking for flattery, you won’t get it from the Espresso Drinker: they’re straightforward to the point of bluntness, and have hurt more than a few people in their life with their refusal to sugarcoat.
6 Iced Coffee
The Iced Coffee Drinker is the girl who is always on the go, constantly making and then cancelling plans with you because she is just too busy! Super ambitious, the Iced Coffee Drinker is usually juggling work, family, and whatever side projects she has happening because her creativity and work ethic are on fire. She sometimes makes you feel a little bit bad about yourself because she’s already accomplished so much and seems so put together, and you still can’t bring yourself to do laundry on a regular basis. You wonder how she does it, and of course the answer is caffeine! She regularly drinks more than 3 cups of coffee a day, but she switches to drinking it iced in the afternoon to feel better about her caffeine addiction.
The Iced Coffee Drinker can be identified as the girl who’s always texting madly and still wearing summer dresses when there’s a bit of a chill in the air while still managing to look fabulous.
5 Drip (Plain) Coffee
The Drip Coffee Drinker needs you to finish up what you’re saying, because they’re really busy right now and too stressed out to offer advice. Like the Iced Coffee Drinker, the Drip Coffee Drinker is extra busy, but unlike the Iced Coffee Drinker, the Drip Coffee Drinker does NOT seem to have themselves together. They’re usually late for meetings and dates, and have more than a few empty cups or mugs in their car or on their desk, because they got too busy to wash them or throw them out.
The Drip Coffee Drinker isn’t really a coffee snob, because they often can’t tell the difference between beans or regions, and they don’t care as long as it’s strong! An independent thinker, the Drip Coffee Drinker’s look is a bit more dishevelled, because frankly they don’t care what anyone else thinks of them. However, the Drip Coffee Drinker is as loyal and sincere as they come – even if they don’t always have the time for you.
For those who have never enjoyed the delicious blended sweetness that is the Frappuccino, this Starbucks staple is basically a caffeinated milkshake that comes in a variety of flavours, with tons of customization options. Drinkers of Frappuccinos usually fall into two connected categories: the teenager who is pretending to be an adult, or the adult trying to regain some sense of childhood innocence. Playful and generous, the Frappuccino Drinker can be the life of the party, but can quickly spiral into the messy drunk. Frappuccinos are a little bit heavier in the calorie count and cost, to you can be sure that the Frappucino Drinker in your life will usually be the one to pick up the cheque at dinner or treat you to a spa getaway on your birthday.
As Frappuccinos take a lot of time, ingredients, and energy to make, Frappuccino Drinkers are likewise high-maintenance. They prefer things done their way, and need more attention than other friends. A little bit fussy, but very sweet, Frappuccino Drinkers are generally good people as long as you let them call the shots.
Latte Drinkers are all about the Look. With the rise of latte art, it’s no surprise that these personalities are your ideal choice for interior design or fashion, because they understand beauty and the effort it requires. They want to look good, and have you look good with them. A reliable friend for any shopping trip, the Latte Drinker is a lover of trends, so you can be sure that she’s a girl who keeps up with the Kardashians.
Sweet and honest, the Latte Drinker is an urban dweller with a suburban core, meaning that they love the conveniences they get in the big city, but keep to their close circle of friends and family and enjoy a little bit more chill time. Catch them living some of their fabulous life on their endless Instagram shots, and remember that if you need a bit of help picking out that first date or job interview outfit, the Latte Drinker has your back.
It doesn’t really matter what kind of tea the Tea Drinkers are enjoying: what matters is they went to Starbucks. For tea.
Unlike a tea latte, bagged tea requires almost zero effort. With or without milk, sugar, honey, agave, or whatever, Tea Drinkers may have accidentally wandered into their neighbourhood Starbucks without realizing it wasn't their living room. Super down-to-earth, Tea Drinkers love nothing more than their cancelling plans to stay in bed with Netflix or a good book. They are usually soft-spoken and genuinely nice people who can be counted on for almost anything. A big believer in “waste not, want not” Tea Drinkers are the best DIY-ers and consider crafting their second-favourite hobby. They are old souls and have more than once been compared to a grandma, but they’re happy and proud of their old-lady status. Calm, cool, and collected, Tea Drinkers are a great source of advice and comfort, and are usually the givers in relationships.
Pack your bags and clear your schedule, because the Seasonal Drinker is all about spontaneity! Seasonal Drinkers are the ones who can’t wait for Starbucks to roll out their Eggnog Lattes and Peppermint Mochas, and are the first to make holiday party plans. Big kids at heart, Seasonal Drinkers still love traditions that make them feel warm and fuzzy inside, like trick-or-treating or watching a certain Christmas movie on Christmas Eve. Seasonal Drinkers will find something they love, and then have to try or buy it in every flavour and colour available. Their excitement is infectious, and they are some of the best people to have around when you’re feeling low, because their optimistic outlook is just what you need.
Seasonal Drinkers may be a bit overzealous in the affections, and tend to fall in love easily. They wear their hearts on their sleeves and as a result have faced heartache on more than one occasion. Lovers and not fighters, Seasonal Drinkers have been there and done that, but that won’t stop them from taking chances again and again.