Love is blind. There’s really no denying this fact. When we are in a relationship we tend to put our blinders on and ignore the obvious. Even when the obvious is telling us that the relationship isn’t going to go anywhere and you are too good for him. Some people are just on different playing fields in life and you want someone who has hopes and dreams similar to you. Someone who has plans for his future and is willing to put the effort in that is required to make a relationship work. You’re a grown woman and deserve a man not a little boy. But what’s a girl to do when she can’t see past those rose colored goggles and see the truth of the relationship she holds so dear? There’s only one thing you can do. Learn the signs that you’re out of his league and move on to someone better for you.
15 He has no life
Well, that is he has no life outside of you. He relies on you to invite him to do fun and interesting things and if you make plans to do something with your friends without him, he does everything possible to make you feel bad for it. He’ll complain about how it isn’t fair you get to go out and do things while he’s stuck sitting at home doing whatever to pass the time. He will whine and throw a pity party that rivals a preteen girl who’s mad at her parents for not buying her the newest iPhone until you agree to cancel with them and hang out with him instead. But if you refuse to blow off your plans and decide to go anyway, no amount of promises to do something later will save you from the cold shoulder he’s going to give you when you get back.
14 He’s Insecure
He panics at the thought of you going anywhere without him because there’s the potential that you could find someone else. He’s constantly fishing for compliments by putting himself down in front of you. And he needs to hear your reassurance, often asking if you think he’s amazing and the only guy for you. Having men that are friends is a definite no go with this guy. He doesn’t care if you’ve known them since you were in diapers, you can absolutely not still talk to them. Every time you get a text he questions you about who it is and he demands to know the password to your phone. Because if you actually loved him you would be ok giving him this information since you have nothing to hide and it would make him feel like he can trust you. Or at least that’s his logic behind it. He’s needy in a way that makes you feel more like a caregiver than a girlfriend.
13 He Lacks Ambition
He’s perfectly fine with living a mediocre life and doesn’t seem to have any intentions of striving towards improving it. He figures so long as his bills are paid he’s good. He doesn’t care that there is little room for anything else after. You can’t help but wish he would gain some direction and come up with a life plan already. You feel like you’re surpassing him in all aspects of life and have big dreams that he can’t seem to want to compete with. You know that he is capable of so much more and could be extremely successful if he would just get serious about something. So you offer encouragement and try to gently push him to better himself. But unfortunately, his “why, bother?” attitude holds him back from even attempting something new and causes you to back off the subject for a while.
12 He Tries To Hold You Back
Just because he lacks ambition doesn’t mean you do and he sees this. But instead of encouraging you to follow your dreams you know that he would rather you give them up and be more like him. He has no problem reminding you that the things you want to do will be difficult and may take away from your relationship with him. He’s a master at planting doubt in your mind. If he knows that you have something important that needs to be done whether it’s finishing a project or attending a meeting or seminar, you can bet he’s going to do everything possible to prevent it from happening. Even when it seems like he’s finally getting on board you can’t help but have this nagging feeling that he hopes it fails. It’s not that he doesn’t want you to succeed, it’s that he doesn’t want you to be more successful than him. He needs you to stay safely on his level.
11 He Takes You For Granted
In the beginning of the relationship you felt appreciated and he showed you attention. But now, not so much. He tends to care more about beating his friends in Call of Duty instead of spending any time with you. You can’t remember the last time he uttered the words ”thank you” to you in a tone that sounded sincere. No matter what you do for him he acts like it isn’t a big deal and he thinks that since you are his girlfriend you’re expected to do things for him. When you’re with him you may as well be alone. After all, he barely talks to you so there isn’t too much of a reason for you to be there. But when he wants something. A drink, food, nookie, that is when you know he’s going to all of a the sudden change his tune and act like he wants you around. Except the second he’s gotten what he wants, he goes right back to ignoring you.
10 He’s Boring
Being boring can be such a relative term. After all, not everyone may find your boyfriend boring. But you do and that’s all that matters. When you’re around him you’re bored out of your mind. You try to get him to do something fun but he’s never interested. His idea of fun is nothing like yours and you're often stuck doing things you don’t enjoy. As far as his sense of humor goes, you wind up rolling your eyes at that things he says, that he finds absolutely hilarious. He just doesn’t make you laugh, ever. Maybe It wasn’t always this way, you can't imagine the time you found him amusing. You actually did enjoy his company at one time but now you start dreading your time together. You crave excitement and new things or at the very least someone you can share a few laughs with.
9 He Belittles You
A relationship should make you feel good. The person you are with should give you a sense of security and make you feel loved. Unfortunately, the person that should be causing those wonderful feelings for you more often than not says negative things about you. He may comment on how you should lose a few pounds, You’ll never succeed in the field you want, your ideas are dumb, you have terrible taste. Really the list is endless and he seems to find new things wrong with you everyday. When you get defensive about it, he counters that you’re just too sensitive or he was only offering you some constructive criticism. You know you’re amazing but can’t seem to put your finger on why he can’t see it. He makes you question your worth and that starts to cause you to have a dip in confidence. In reality, he’s only putting you down. Trying to make you feel inferior to him so that he can keep you in his grips and make you feel like you can’t find anyone better than him so you don’t leave.
8 He Has No Friends
Unless he just moved to the area and hasn’t had much time to get to know anyone, this is a good indicator that he isn’t exactly a catch. Let’s face it, if no one else wants to be around him then there’s probably a good reason for it. People who are enjoyable and have a positive energy about them, tend to be abundant in friends. When your boyfriend has no friends he’s going to rely on you to be his social outlet. While this may seem exciting at first because you’ll get to introduce him to people and help him meet people, saving him from his friendless state. This arrangement will get old fast. It would be nice if he had a few guys he could go get drinks with or watch the game so you could have some girl time with your friends. But since he has no friends he would prefer you ditch yours for him.
7 He’s Secretive
While he may want you to share all of your passwords so he can trust you. There’s a total double standard because you know none of his secret codes and when he gets a text he hides his phone. In fact, he ensures that you are never left alone with his phone and instead of a password, he has a lock screen with an intricate sequence required to unlock it. He is careful to never leave any of his social media accounts logged in and open when you’re around. After all, he can’t have you invading his privacy now, can he? When you bring up this issue he has an excuse as to why it is acceptable and that you should be understanding. The fact is most people are insecure when they are being shady themselves, this behavior is never acceptable.
6 He’s Broke
While we may all struggle financially from time to time. He seems to always be struggling. In fact, he asks you for “loans” all the time, and let’s face it, he’s never going to pay you back. But you love him and don’t want him to do without so you hand over the cash. Only to be asked for more money next week or next month when the bill is due again. And when it comes to your dates, he never has the funds to do anything. If you want a date that isn’t about Netflix and chill you better believe you are going to be paying for it. Look if they guy can’t even take you out to grab fast food for lunch there’s a really high chance that you are on different levels when it comes to this whole adult thing. Do you really want to have to pay for him forever? I didn’t think so.
5 He Has No Job
Having no job is definitely a contributor to being broke. But if he was laid off a few weeks or months ago and hasn’t even tried to find a new job well there’s a good chance that he’s sort of not interested in his future. Look, we get it, work isn’t as fun as hanging out at home while sitting on the couch and binge watching your latest Netflix obsession. But having a job is a necessary part of being an adult and he needs to join the adulting club and get a job. You want a man who can take you out and have a good time without you having to foot the bill each time. Maybe he’s just down on his luck at the moment and he just doesn’t want to take a job that he considers beneath him. But any job is better than no job. And while he may be happy to couch surf or move back in with his parents, there’s a good chance that when you go to his place you don’t want to run the risk of waking anyone up or having to deal with rules that you haven’t had since you were a teenager.
4 You Feel Like His Mother
You definitely care about him and want the best for him but you shouldn’t feel like you are filling in the role of mom. Besides, there’s really nothing sexy about a motherly figure anyway. You find yourself reminding him to do everyday things that shouldn’t need reminding in the first place. You make sure he’s showered, has everything he needs for his day, is fed, and has all his basic needs cared for. Somewhere along the way things got skewed and you took on the role of mom. It’s always nice to show your man that you care by doing things for him but when you have to remind him to shower it may be time to rethink the relationship.
3 You Can’t Be Honest With Him
You treat your words with care out of fear that you will say something to hurt his feelings and bruise his fragile ego. You are careful not to be too blunt with him and try to avoid criticism. The guy may be able to dish it but when it comes to hearing negative aspects of himself that need improving he has a meltdown and can’t handle it. You just want to avoid conflict but have a hard time because when you have something on your mind you can’t express yourself and eventually the situation continues until you turn into a screaming lunatic. Which he then can’t take seriously because you’re obviously just crazy. But trying to let him know you don’t like something makes him sulk around the house until you take back what you said and apologize regardless of the truth. Needless to say, things never get resolved.
2 Your Friends Don’t Like Him
You know how when your friend is dating a jerk and you can clearly see it but she can’t regardless of how much you point out his attitude? Yep, we are all way better at seeing when our friend is in a bad relationship than we are at realizing that we’re in a bad relationship. Love is definitely blind and in this case you need a pair of glasses so that you can see what your friend's have been trying to tell you all along. Even if they aren’t coming right out and expressing their hatred for the guy, all the signs are there. They start avoiding interactions that involve both of you together, they roll their eyes whenever he talks and they can’t even carry a conversation with him without sounding annoyed. You know they try to like him and before they met him they couldn’t wait to meet the guy you were dating. They can’t help it. It’s not easy when your friend is dating someone who isn’t good for them.
1 You’re Embarrassed By Him
Everyone wants to be proud of who they’re dating. There’s no shame in it. However you can’t help but cringe whenever he opens his mouth to talk and you often have a look of shock that spreads across your face whenever he’s around new people because of the things he says. You wind up apologizing while he’s busy laughing and he literally had no idea you were horrified. You can’t help but make excuses for him and before you go out with him you try to have talks with him about things you would prefer he not do or say. Although he never listens. You know you shouldn’t feel embarrassed by him but you can’t help it. He’s just so… embarrassing. You just wish he would change and be better. You know, like if he was someone else.