If you're an introvert, you're definitely a really unique and interesting person, not to mention a great listener and even greater friend. You're super trustworthy and honest, and people really admire those qualities. You tend to be very independent and a go-getter when it comes to setting goals and achieving them. This usually means your friend group is quite small, but the friends you do have are quality people like yourself. Yes, you may be quiet and avoid large social gatherings like the plague, but you still know how to have a good time, even if it is just in the comfort of your own home. Regardless of all these awesome traits introverts have, if you're an introvert you definitely understand the struggles when it comes to dating. Here are 15 totally relatable struggles every introvert experiences when it comes to the dating scene. Don't worry, you're not alone...even though that's how you like to be sometimes.
15 You Hate Dating
You would really rather not do the whole dating thing in the first place. If you could just push a button and a perfect, handsome guy appeared who already knew everything about you and loved you for who you are, that would be a golden ticket to you. Sounds like a dream to me, to be honest. I would sign up for that! Trying to find the perfect outfit that is just sexy enough to say my body is amazing, but not too sexy that they think they can take it off of you, making through loads of awkward silences, none of it sounds appealing to you. The only appealing thing about dating? The search will hopefully lead to you falling in love with an amazing guy. But that never seems to happen as quickly or as smoothly as you hope. Sigh. You can't help but think you'll be #ForeverAlone at this rate.
14 You Hate Meeting New People
If you're an introvert, you probably have one best friend, and you've had them for your whole life. Maybe that's even your sister or mom, or the girl you met back in kindergarten before making friends was so hard. You don't like to put yourself in situations where you have to meet new people as there's no point in subjecting yourself to so much anxiety. And let's not get started on any change that might take place in your life. A huge party where you don't know anyone sounds more terrifying than it does exciting and fun. More outgoing women thrive in this kind of environment but you just can't even. So naturally, you hate meeting new people, and you hate the idea of dating because you're basically meeting tons and tons of new people since you have to go out with all kinds of guys before you meet someone that you click with.
13 Your Perfect Date: Netflix
If you tell a guy that you want your first date to be a relaxing time with him in the comfort of your own home, he'll probably get the wrong idea and think he's going to get lucky. He's thinking Netflix and chill, you're thinking you have an easy out if things get awkward: you can just ask him to leave since it's your apartment! You'd rather sit on your own comfy couch talking to him than in a super uncomfortable restaurant chair where everyone around you is totally staring at you. Having the control is a happy and safe place for you. If he knew that he would have a better chance getting to know the real you by doing this, he would probably say yes. But because it isn't the "normal" way of dating, you don't even try to make it happen and you just struggle through a dinner date instead.
12 Meeting His Friends Is Scary
When you find the right guy, the next step is meeting each other's friends, and that's something that you totally and completely dread. Already the thought of having t meet you people gives you anxiety, but having to impress new people who matter to your new love interest...the horror! Some people don't mind being the only one out of the loop when a bunch of friends get together, but as an introvert it makes you feel even more awkward than you already do. Whereas a more outgoing woman might put herself right into the center of all the attention and ask what their inside jokes mean and that she wants to hear that funny story about what happened last weekend, you tend to curl up into your imaginary shell and wish you had never left your room. If you found a good man, he will try his best to include you, which does help a bit, but it's still a struggle.
11 Meeting His Family Is The Worst
You can totally survive meeting his friends, and they end up liking you despite your totally awkward nature because, hey, you're a sweet and awesome person. But now you have to meet the family which is pretty much the worst. Getting bombarded with questions about who you are, what you studied in school if you have a good job, what your plans for the future, and when you want to start having kids, doesn't exactly sound fun. Does anyone think these types of questions are fun ever? If you wanted to sit through an interview you would go apply for a new job. By the time you meet his family, your boyfriend definitely knows you get stressed about these things, so he'll try to save you from some of the questions. But there's always going to be that one family member that wants to know every detail of your life. The struggle is totally real.
10 You're Paranoid You'll Seem Boring
You aren't a boring person, but as an introvert, you tend to keep your thoughts and ideas to yourself. You would rather focus on the other person because you really don't have much you want to say... especially to some guy you barely even know. This is a struggle because it makes guys think you don't have much substance to you. But the truth is you have so much substance that you aren't really sure where to start. And you don't want to scare them away in the beginning. Trying to find the balance between what crazy ideas of yours to share that they will enjoy and what to keep to yourself is too stressful so you just decide to keep everything to yourself. Yes, you come off as boring, but you've perfected the art of making the other person talk for two hours straight without having a single clue.
9 You're Awkward
You know that some people don't understand introverts so you try your hardest to act "normal"... whatever that even looks like. You obviously don't do a very good job because you just seem super awkward. You know eye contact is important, but you always seem to make too much of it, or sometimes you can barely stare someone in the face so it just looks like you're talking to the floor. You know you are supposed to laugh at jokes even if they aren't that funny so that you seem interested, but you always tend to burst out just a little too loud. You know you are supposed to act lady-like, but you really wish you would have ordered French fries because his look so good. You figure suggesting trading a tomato off your salad for one of those greasy beauties isn't the "normal" thing to do, so you find yourself staring at them the whole time.
8 You're Private
If you go on a date with a new guy, of course, they want to get to know you. That's kind of a given. But he always ends up asking you super personal questions that you don't want to answer unless you've known each other longer. If he asks about your family, you end up talking about your parents' divorce, and you end up talking about your lovely daddy issues that make being in a relationship super hard for you... which is ultimately just going to scare the guy away. That line between too much information and not enough is just a blur to yo. Even though you don't even want to be on the date, you don't necessarily want to ruin it before you ever got the chance if it could turn into something great. Introverts tend to share nothing or everything all at once, and neither makes for a great first date.
7 You Want Short Dates
You definitely don't want to hang out with this guy all night long. If he asks you to dinner, then you're okay to go for dinner but that's it. You may really enjoy his company, but as an introvert, you like your dates to have time limits. You like to know what is going on and when - you are adventurous only when you know you are going to be. If you get in the car after dinner and he starts driving the opposite direction of your home because he has a "surprise" for you, it's probably going to make you more irritated than excited. You told your bed you would be home at a decent hour, and you have a date with your favorite TV show anyway. If he was planning on making this the date of a lifetime, he should have warned you. Some guys take this as you being rude or again boring, but you just like to know what's going on when.
6 You Want To Find The One ASAP
Dating when you're an introvert is a struggle because you'd rather just meet the right guy right away, but that rarely ever happens. If only they would invent something that would, your life would be so much easier...and a lot less stressful! You don't like sifting through awkward dates and obnoxious, immature guys to find your knight in shining armor. The worst part about this? You're so dedicated to finding a good guy that you make a not-good-enough guy meet your standards, which leaves you worse off than you were before. Because now after dealing with his antics for a while only to realize you knew better, rushed into a relationship you are never going to be happy in, and don't even like the guy all too much, you have to go through letting him down easily and then go back to the beginning and start over with the whole dating thing.
5 You Don't Do Hookups
Hook-up culture definitely trumps old-school romance and manners, and way too many guys expect a hook-up right away. You want a long-term partner, and that's it. You already have a hard time connecting to people and finding that perfect someone without awkwardness, how are you supposed to handle a night of fun with a stranger? Letting loose is not your forte. You're the type of person who expects the romance you see in movies. You expect flowers at the door when they pick you up. You want them to open to car door for you and compliment the way you look. You really don't think that's asking for too much. But when you get a "ready to hang out?" text and a "here" text instead of a knock on the door, you realize you're not really going to get your perfect date. Unfortunately, this isn't going to change anytime soon, so dating is even more of a struggle for you.
4 You're Fun If You Know The Person
Dating is the worst if you're an introvert because you end up being super boring on the first date, but if the guy would just ask you out again, by the third or fourth one, you'd be a ton of fun. You wish you had the chance to really show him who you are because you're amazing! You will be a million times funnier because you are more comfortable around him. You will be more apt to go on adventurous because you're willing to break your limit rule a little bit. You will be more talkative and outgoing. You really are fun, it just takes you a little longer than others to warm up to a person and trust that they can handle the fun side of you and not just the serious side which they often see on the first date. And telling a guy that you're more fun once you get to know them doesn't usually get you that second date.
3 You're Never Yourself On The First Date
You're never yourself when you first meet a guy. You're stiff, quiet, nervous, and you ask super rehearsed questions. Of course, you'd never be rude, but you feel so pressured on first dates that you act a lot differently than you normally would. Sometimes it's hard for introverts to accept who they are because they think guys are more interested in the outgoing, loud girls who are slight airheads, especially when it comes to trying to come off as flirtatious on a first date. That just isn't you, but you try really hard to make it you because you think that is what a guy wants. You know staying true to yourself is such a better idea because then he will have to opportunity to get to know and like the real you, not someone you don't even know yourself. But sometimes dates just don't work out that way.
2 Being Alone Sounds Way More Fun
One of the biggest struggles with dating is that you would rather just hang out with yourself. You like yourself. You have fun when you're alone, and there's zero pressure to say certain things or act certain ways. Yes, you want a relationship and to experience all the wonderful, fun things that come along with that, but when it comes to dating, you're not as interested. Saying yes to a date is like pulling teeth, and sometimes it doesn't have anything to do with the guy. He could be really great and you could be totally interested in, but come Friday night you just want to stay home and curl up with a good book. It's a struggle because you have to force yourself to break out of your normal routine and put yourself out there for a night. That causes anxiety, whereas all your book would cause you is some nice relaxation. But you can't have a relationship with a book.
1 It's Hard To Find A Guy Who Gets You
You really want to find a guy that truly understands you. You may be quiet, but you have a great sense of humor. You're extremely interesting, but you tend to keep your thoughts to yourself, especially in the beginning. You know how to have a good time, and you are so much fun to be around once you get to know and trust a person more. And while it may be hard at first, there will be someone who accepts all of you, awkwardness and all. Dating is all about first impressions and initially being attracted to someone and their personality. Unfortunately, you have a hard time showing your true self to people in the beginning, no matter how hard you try to stay relaxed and have fun. So until you can figure out a way to let you true self shine on a first date, you're going to keep experiencing these introvert struggles.