Sometimes in life, we have secrets that we just never want people to know about. They could be something silly or trivial that we'd be outright embarrassed about, or they could be dark, painful, and plain wrong. The secrets that some people harbor inside themselves, and hide deep within them, could be tearing them apart from the inside out. Yet they still wouldn't dare to reveal the truth in fear of getting themselves, or the people they care about, hurt. Sadly, sometimes in relationships, your significant other could end up holding a secret they couldn't bear to tell you to your face.
A lot of men are guilty of keeping secrets from their special someone, whether it be something they've done, have a desire to do, or a feeling they have that they can't talk about. Some of these secrets can be so bad that they'd take them to the grave. And other times they keep these secrets because they know for a fact that they’d just piss you off and start a big fight (that they really don't want to get into). These 15 men shared some dark, dirty, or outright infuriating secrets they could never confess to the women in their lives.
15 I don't only have eyes for you.
“We look at other women and can’t help ourselves.”
Ok, we kind of understand that eyes can wander a bit, but to what extent? Sure some of us check other people out from time to time, but not for more than a few seconds. And it's definitely not because we're in love. Humans naturally appreciate and admire other humans. However, we know that there are some guys out there that aren’t even trying to be discreet, and it sounds like this dude is guilty. It's totally disrespectful to be staring at (even completely drooling over) other women when you're in a relationship. What is so hard about appreciating what you already have? If a guy’s eyes are wandering off to the point that he forgets about the girl he’s with, that's a problem. To be honest, he probably shouldn't be with her in the first place if he’s constantly looking elsewhere. Some women already know guys check other women out sometimes, but don’t go using the “Oh, I just can't help myself.” excuse. And then they have the nerve to say he finds other women more attractive than his own? He deserves to be single forever.
14 I'd prefer your sister.
"I'm much more attracted to my girlfriend's older sister, but she's married, and as a man, I wouldn't want someone pushing up on my wife. I just wished I'd gotten to her sooner."
He better pray no one ever finds out about this dirty little secret, or else he won't have a saving grace to get him out of the big mess this would cause. Honestly, it's so wrong when people do this. What's so hard about being honest with yourself and not leading people on to think you love them when you truly don’t? Even worse, they're in love with someone who’s very close to the person they're using for personal gain. Does he think of his wife’s sister every time he does things with her? Does he think of his sister in law at inappropriate times, like when he and his wife are intimate? Did he get with the younger sister because he thought he could get the next best thing? Sometimes men will get close with a person that’s connected with someone else they like or love because they want someone similar. Or it’s an excuse to be around the person they truly want. It’s sad and plain wrong, and they’ll never admit it because they know they’ll get into a world of trouble. We're not surprised he's kept it secret for so long. To avoid trouble, he’s got two options: be honest and file for divorce, or continue to live a lie and potentially do more damage in the long run. Or maybe he could take some time and effort to really get to know and connect with his wife instead of thinking about the woman he could never have.
13 He really does care about weight.
“‘Of course I would still love you if you got fat’ doesn’t mean ‘I would still be attracted to you, want to have get it on with you, and be proud of being seen with you if you got fat.’”
What a douchebag confession. Obviously, he'd never admit this to her face, unless he wants to be kicked out of the house! But just because men keep this thought to themselves doesn’t make it any less insensitive. Sure, people have their preference and whatnot, but the whole being embarrassed to be seen with your SO in public simply because they gained some weight is just downright mean and really shallow. Plus, since when is it true that just because a woman gains some weight she's no longer attractive? There are plenty of curvy and plus sized women that are bombshells, and any real man should be proud to be with them because of their self-confidence, style, intelligence, beauty, etc. There's much more to a woman than her weight. Perhaps if she no longer put effort and care into herself and her appearance, then that would be the perfect opportunity to be the best boyfriend/husband you could be by encouraging her to love herself again. But don’t make it sound as if the weight gain is an inconvenience for you, dudes.
12 They fantasize about other women.
“We fantasize about other women. Not with any interest or intent to cheat, and certainly not because we’re unhappy.”
This entry is similar to number 15 but takes it a bit further. Perhaps this is what immature men that have no interest in long term relationships or marriage do, but if it's while you're in a committed exclusive relationship with a woman, this is a huge no-no. I mean, who does this? Who is this guy fantasizing about? Random women on the street? Celebrity crushes? His female friends? This is definitely a secret any man would be smart to keep to himself because his wife or girlfriend would not be happy at all to hear about him thinking of any woman but her. Maybe if he had some weird crush on Wonder Woman or something that would be easier to swallow. At least she isn't a real person! If the tables turned, he wouldn't be very happy to hear of his woman fantasizing about another man. That would totally feel emasculating. For them, it's natural about other women, but when we do so, it is considered foul play. How that does makes any sense, you ask? We have no idea.
11 If you were cool with it, exclusivity would be non-existent.
“No matter how much we love you and no matter how hot you are…no matter what…if you allowed it, we’d always (get it on with) other women.”
Unsurprisingly, quite a few men think like this. This is why there's such a thing as “open relationships”. So the question is, why are there still some men in committed relationships still sleeping around? If he's enjoys being intimate with multiple women, no matter how amazing and sexy his actual partner or spouse is, why even agree to be exclusive if the desire will always be there? Oh! And one other thing, greedy much? So we can criticize people for wanting to eat more than one slice of pizza, but it's perfectly fine to want to have sex with any and every one you find attractive, even while in a relationship? That's not very fair is it? This doesn't even sound like a “guy thing”. This sounds like an “I have an issue with boundaries and being satisfied with one partner” thing. If men would rather be able to hook up with any and every woman they want, why even dedicate yourself to an exclusive relationship? It just doesn't make any sense.
10 Bros before...
“The bromance is oftentimes better than the romance.”
Well then why don't you just go sleep with your guy friends then?
Listen, we are all for having and maintaining a strong bond with your friends and all, but when you start to prioritize them over your significant other, that's a big issue. If he's not looking for romance, then perhaps he should just stay out of it. Or we could give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's yet to find that someone he'd fall head over heels for. We do know that one day, most likely, his bros aren't going to be enough when he feels he's lonely and actually wants someone to hold and cuddle at night, as well as a life partner and a family. Unless he swings that way, we doubt any of his guy friends can offer such value in terms of companionship. He'll realize soon enough that he'll need to change his attitude about love and romance.
9 I never wanted marriage.
"I never dreamed of getting married and actually planned to be a bachelor forever. But I got so attached to my wife after dating on and off for years, and didn't want to let her go. She refused to stay unless we got married. I ended up agreeing to something I now regret."
Like we've said before, there's nothing worse than using a person in a relationship for your own selfish reasons. Honestly the worst thing you could do to a woman is lie to her, and he's doing it every day. If he's so attached to her to the point where he did something he didn't want to just to keep her, why hasn't he warmed up to the idea of being married to someone who is presumably is the love of his life? Is she really that bad to live with? Did he really think living a bachelor lifestyle could last forever? Is he that afraid of the thought of being with one person for the rest of his life? Whatever the dilemma, the best thing for him to do is either overcome his fear of marriage, being honest and telling his wife the truth about how he feels, or do some soul searching and figure out why he's so afraid of commitment. Hopefully doing the latter would draw him closer to his wife and they can actually resolve things.
8 I'm not happy in the bedroom.
"The nookie just isn't how it used to be. I love my wife so much, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about stepping out on her from time to time."
There are sexual health experts and counselors, and even social groups that offer help in this area. But, of course, this guy entertains the temptation of wanting to take the easy way out and possibly cheat on his wife instead. Sometimes men (and women) can feel a little insecure or even ashamed talking about physical intimacy with others and each other. At the same time, it's such an important part of a healthy marriage, and it'd be a disservice not to be open and honest and seek advice when needed. There's many ways he, and other men in the same situation, could approach their woman about the situation without offending her or making her angry. It could even open the door for an exciting new part of the relationship. All it takes is putting your ego aside, being a little vulnerable, and opening up to new things. We really wish men in his situation would be more willing to communicate, instead of stepping out and ultimately destroying the relationship between them and their SO. What's a few minutes of pleasure if it's going to cost you pain for as much as the rest of yours and her life?
7 I had an affair...
"My fiancé understands that I'm bi and accepted it without any issue, which is rare. So I feel so guilty for cheating on her with another man a few months back. I'd proposed to prove to myself that I only wanted to be with her, and I do. But what I did still eats at my conscience every single day. She can never find out about this."
Cheating on your partner is never ok, whether it be with the opposite or same sex. This is a really dark secret he can't bear to tell his partner. Like anybody that's ever cheated on the person they claim to love, the guilt eats away at their conscience ever since the deed was done. Some are much worse because they only feel sorry after they get caught. As wrong as it may be, a man would never confess to a woman that he's been unfaithful because they don't want to risk losing what they have. What they don't realize is that, sadly, nine times out of ten, they've already lost. No one should ever be allowed to step in and endanger the bond between you and your partner. Plus, their spouse is going to find out sooner or later. The trend here is that everyone seems to have issues with honesty. If you can't be honest and open with your partner, and if you do things that would betray their trust, the relationship truly isn't worthwhile, is it?
6 I need a break from you.
"I'm going to be the honest guy here and say we really get tired of the nagging and gossip and over emotional behavior and just need to get away from you sometimes. Might hate to hear it but women really can drive us crazy- in a bad way!"
It's understandable to want space and time alone from time to time. After all, you can't sustain a healthy relationship with your significant other unless you have a good relationship with yourself first, right? However this guy's reasoning just comes across as pretty sexist. Men and women gossip, and if that's an issue, why not just keep people like that out of your circle? Also, what does he mean by “over emotional”? Normally, that’s the excuse guys make when they did something wrong that naturally sets their partner off. They automatically blame her hormones even if she was justifiably upset. We're sure there's probably lots of guys out here that feel how this guy does, but there's a reason they won't ever say this to their woman's face. He’ll never confess this to his woman, unless he wants an old fashioned showdown that's not going to end well. These men just have to accept that person they’re in a relationship with are naturally going to get on their nerves from time to time.
5 I don't like you.
"I love you, but I really don't like you."
Some men find themselves in relationships with women that they find aren't compatible with them anymore. They fell in love a while ago, but as time went on, they figured out that they didn't really like the woman they're with. We all know the difference between liking and loving someone: love is a deep emotional connection. You'd do anything for that person. On the other hand, when you like someone you, enjoy being around them. They make you laugh and smile and feel good about yourself. But sometimes in life, people change, and you realize you don't enjoy being around certain people as much as you used to. You still love that person, but you don't really “like” that person as much. We're sure no one would want to admit this because it'd hurt the other person’s feelings. He doesn't want to hurt his wife, even though this is how he feels, and he and other men that feel this way probably are never going to confess this.
4 I settled for less.
"My current girlfriend really wasn't my first choice, but she was there and I wanted someone near me. So I settled for her. She's a great girl, but just not my ideal."
When are people going to learn that you can't use people in a relationship for the wrong reasons and expect to be happy? The poor girl has no idea her boyfriend doesn't think of her the way she thinks of him. It never feels good to know you weren't someone's first choice. Whoever said it’s great being someone’s back up? It's honestly pretty cruel. It isn't fair to use someone just because you don't want to be alone. Not only does it come off as dishonest and desperate, but it's not fair for the other person. They could be spending their time with someone that believes they're the most important person in their life, someone that loves and cherishes them 100%. Instead they're wasting time with guys like this one who don't appreciate them and don't even realize it. It's hard for a man to admit he doesn't completely love the person he's with, which is why he'll never confess this to his girlfriend.
3 I still love my ex.
"I'm still in love with my ex, and the feelings won't go away no matter how hard I try. I know it sounds bad, but I can't help it. She was the one."
Sometimes it's hard to let go of someone we were in love with. That seems to be this guy's dilemma: he doesn't want to let his ex-woman go and it's doing more harm than good. He would certainly never tell his current girlfriend this confession, and it's obvious he's distressed about it. They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, but that has to be the worst dating advice ever given! Bringing old baggage to a new relationship is a recipe for disaster. On top of that, you’d never resolve your personal issues and get closure. Using someone else as a distraction is wrong and will only hurt you and the other person in the end. We're pretty sure his ex has moved on and is living life, and he should do the same and find contentment with his current partner.
2 I hate my mother-in-law.
"I literally hate my mother in law. She's just an old, crabby witch I can't stand. Worst part is my wife loves to visit her or invite her over every week and it drives me nuts!"
It’s usually women that experience this plight, but it looks like the tables have turned! Sadly, some people just don't get along with their in-laws, and the parents don't exactly welcome their child's new spouse with open arms either. The issues this guy and his mother-in-law have shouldn't even exist because family is family, and petty prejudices and misunderstandings should never get in the way of our relationships, right? Of course, he'll never confess this to his wife unless he wants to get kicked to the curb (it's never a good idea to diss someone's mom). However, it's hard to believe that his wife doesn't sense any sort of tension between the two. If her relationships with her mother and husband are important to her, wouldn't she try her hardest to keep the peace? And shouldn’t her mother try to get along better with her son-in-law simply because of the love she has for her daughter? It's always a difficult situation when you can't stand someone that's part of the family.
1 I don't love you anymore.
"I didn't know it was possible to fall out of love with someone until now. Ironically, I probably feel more hurt than my girlfriend would hearing this."
Two people falling out of love is always a sad situation – even if the feeling was mutual. Sadly, in most cases this falling out is usually one sided. Being heartbroken is one of the worst feelings in the world, and that's exactly what his girlfriend would be if he were to tell her this. Even an “I just think it's best we go separate ways” is much better received than a flat out “I don't love you anymore.” Talk about a shot to the heart. A man that's fallen out of love with his partner is usually terrible at keeping this secret. Sadly, sometimes they do end up confessing how they feel, but the nice guys usually just hold it in or allow their women time to take the hint. A man will almost never confess how he really feels about you in a way to avoid conflict. He will find another way to end the relationship that’s less hurtful. It's pretty pointless because she's still going to be pretty upset and demand answers either way. The best way to go about it is let her down easy and explain why it's not working out anymore, instead of stringing her along and making her believe something that's untrue.