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15 Dark Confessions From Criminal Defense Attorneys

The following confessions will disturb you, some might even scar you for life. Consider this a warning for anyone that continues to read. If crime is on the menu, you already know that scandal is the main course. Criminal defense attorneys have a difficult job of defending some of the toughest clients. Sure, they have minor offenses on their dockets that may not seem all that interesting, but when asked, some can recall some pretty morbid — and straight up disgusting — cases that will send a shiver down your spine. A career in criminal defense law is bound to be shrouded in secrets, and we've got 15 of the darkest ones for you.

Many defense lawyers have cases that haunt them their entire lives. Their courtroom dramas don't come in the form of some hit television show; it's 100 percent reality that they sometimes wish they could lay down, rest, close their eyes, and forget. It's no surprise that crimes involving children or murder were ranked the worst cases that attorneys had to defend.

It's not just what goes on in the courtroom that makes criminal lawyer secrets so enticing, either. Attorneys are regular people who have real life drama they want to keep under wraps as well. Society makes it seem as if lawyers are rigid, workaholic money-makers, but there are a few who were willing to share their deepest secrets to prove that things aren't always how they seem.

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15 Going In With A (Not So) Guilty Conscious

Defense attorneys have their own ways of coping with such heavy burdens. Their work can be the difference between their client possibly getting three years probation or five years in jail, so they want to make sure and argue their cases as well as they can. Plus, no one likes to lose. This lawyer admitted that when they think — or outright know — that their client is guilty of their crimes, it makes things much easier on them. When this lawyer is under the impression that their client is innocent, they feel more anxiety and pressure to make sure justice is served. If not, an innocent person could end up paying the price for a crime they didn't commit. It's not so far-fetched of an idea that if you're sitting face-to-face with criminal and in charge of defending them, you'd feel more at ease. You's know exactly how to play the cards you've been dealt and there aren't any serious surprises. The chance of innocence throws a wrench in things and no defense lawyer wants to think that one of their cases will end up with a guilty verdict and turn into a headline story in 30 years after retested DNA evidence frees their client. Just ask Cleveland, Ohio native Ricky Jackson who was released from prison in 2014 after spending 40 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit.

14 Nothing A Good Smack In The Face Can't Fix

Things are a tad ambiguous when it comes to this lawyer's confession, but let's go over what I know. A defense lawyer wrote on Whisper that they hit their client in the mouth. Before you go thinking that things were getting a little rough between the two, it seems that the lawyer wanted to make sure their client would keep his trap shut when talking to the police.

This all seems pretty extreme to keep a client from answering police questions. Most people just ask for their lawyer and sit in silence, but if your attorney thinks you're too much of a liability and insists that he or she pops you a good one to make your lip bleed, and you're okay with that, then so be it. I don't recommend it though.

This is another case where I wasn't privy to the outcome, but at least the accused was free to go. It couldn't have been anything that major if they were able to saunter out of the police station with no charges and a busted lip.

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13 Switched At Birth... On Purpose

Did your heart just break? Because ours did. How horrible! Can you imagine going through the fertility process, carrying a child, giving birth to a baby, and then later finding out your child isn't biologically yours. Then it gets worse when you realize that another mother carried your baby. Thankfully this doctor got what he deserved. "He went down hard for that," the writer said.

Thousands of expectant parent hopefuls consult fertility doctors every day in an effort to making their family dreams come true. They trust these medical practitioners with their dreams of adding a bundle of joy to their loving homes, so to think that a doctor would take advantage of their vulnerability is traumatizing.

12 Who Gets The Last Laugh?

It must feel so good to know that the man who left you for another woman, is no longer with her. Or even better, that he was left by his new woman. Karma can be kind of crazy sometimes, and it shows up when you least expect it. There's a saying "everything happens for a reason, and in this case it was quite clear. This lawyer should be happy that her husband left her, she is now able to find someone who will appreciate her. It may take a while to understand why we have to undergo certain hardships, but the reason always shows itself.

In the end, it looks like this lawyer had the last laugh. Must have been pretty awkward in that courtroom.

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11 When The Wife Is Crazy

It must be so difficult to defend someone you don't like. Or worse, defend someone that you don't believe is innocent. The client is always supposed to be truthful to their attorney, but how many really are? When it comes to divorces, lawyers must have heard it all. A bitter divorce can bring out the worst in people, especially if kids are in the picture. The lawyer must always defend their client, even if he/she doesn't agree with them. This must be tough, especially when it comes to splitting the parental rights, if the divorce is really messy, handling the kids must be messy too.

To be an attorney must have its perks, but judging from the entries on this list, there are a lot of messed up people in the world.

10 This Guy Doesn't Play Any Games

If you're looking for representation, you better have your bank account in check with this lawyer. People want to have someone with a good reputation stand by their side in the courtroom and handle their case with professionalism, but most of the time that comes at a hefty cost. Singles and families are finding it hard to make ends meet, so when you factor in the attorney fees, cash flow problems can get downright ugly.

However, not many clients expect their attorney to sue them. There are lawyers who do are willing to work out payment plans with their clients, but this guy isn't having it. He seems like a "put up or shut up" kind of person. To their credit, unless it's a pro bono case or a friendly favor, lawyers don't work for free. Don't request someone's services if you don't have enough money to pay them...especially not this lawyer because you'll find yourself on the wrong side of the law. Who do you call to defend you against your defense attorney?

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9 Make Sure Your Attorney Isn't A Racist

Criminals come from all backgrounds. To say that one group of people are more inclined to criminal activity over another is asinine and if you're someone who thinks like that, you should probably spend more time researching statistics to change your narrow-minded point of view.

This lawyer confessed on Whisper that his career has caused him to take on more racist views. This could be due to a number of reasons: where he practices, the clients he's assigned to, or the types of cases that he takes on. Because lawyers are supposed to adequately represent clients from all ethnic backgrounds equally, it's frightening to think that a racist is defending those who could be looking at long jail or prison sentences.

On another note, let us just say that there's no such thing as "a little racist." A thought, an action, a word, a phrase, and even a person is, or isn't, racist. I know I'm bursting many racist bubbles with the fact that lukewarm racism doesn't exist and there will be plenty of people who will disagree, but that's all right with us.

8 The Gruesome Tale Of Grandma

It goes without saying that murder cases are hard pills to swallow. An episode of "48 Hours Mystery" can leave you with nails bitten so low that your fingertips are in pain. Th lawyer didn't get into the details of this gory case, but they gave enough information for readers to run away with their imaginations.

Another confession found on reddit told this story; "Worked on a case in which the defendant was accused of killing his Grandma" the lawyer wrote. This is already a bad start. Killing anyone is horrific enough, but a member of your own family is the nail in the coffin — no pun intended. They went to call the scene "gruesome and scary," which I totally believe, especially because the defendant murder dear ol' granny with a bread knife. I'm sure you probably have bread knives in your kitchen drawers that are so dull they can barely cut bread let alone saw off the head of a human being. I have to note that the lawyer wrote that the defendant was accused with no details of whether or not the evidence stacked against him pointed in the direction of serial-killer-in-the-making. I also don't know the outcome of the case, but I'm hoping that whoever took out Grandma is locked up behind bars for a long time.

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7 The Smell Of Prison

whisper.sh

Most people do their best to stay out of prison, but there's something about the atmosphere of jail that this lawyer is attracted to. Maybe it's the dark ambiance or the knowledge that nearly every person in there has been involved in breaking the law (there's still a small percentage that were wrongfully convicted), but for some unknown reason this lawyer looks forward to his jail visits with his clients.

Granted, I could be totally off about this. There's a lot of pressure with being an attorney, so maybe Mr. Lawyer sees his jail visits as a break from the real world. He could be a fan of prison-based television dramas and has glamorized what being locked up is actually like. I don't imagine that it's fun and games like "Orange is the New Black" — you know, minus the murder and mayhem — but some people may think so.

6 Punched An Old Lady In The Face

This is another gem of a case told by someone whose family friend is a lawyer. They recalled a terrible incident when a man randomly punched a woman in the face. Unprovoked. That's insane!

"Basically he had to defend someone who just randomly punched a stranger, a 90-year-old grandmother, in the face face on day, in front of a dozen witnesses," the person wrote on Reddit. "Evidently just because he was in a bad mood."

What would make someone hit an elderly woman? Even the best of excuses would come up short, but the one this guy tried out was a doozey. His attorney had to deliver his defense to the judge. "Your honor...he only hit her once." Yeah, that makes everything much better. He didn't pummel her to a pulp or kill her, so it wasn't that bad. That's some logic, albeit terribly morbid. Let's just say we shouldn't go around hitting anyone, regardless of their age.

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5 Twins Who Decided On Different Career Paths

Many twins, especially those that are identical, don't just look alike, but they choose lifestyles that mirror one another. On Whisper one twin wrote that while she chose the life of a lawyer, her sister makes a living as a dancer. She didn't express that she had any problem with her sister's job of choice, but she did seem a little bitter that sissy was making more money than her.

It's common for people to think that lawyers are swimming in money. Film and television shows show hot shot attorneys in expensive suits who are making beaucoup bucks off of unsuspecting clients or by working for the elite. The reality is many lawyers are out here struggling like the rest of us trying to make an honest living while living the American (or any country's) dream. There are many public defenders who are drowning in their workloads and barely making ends meet. If only that reality was shown in the media.

4 Having Expensive Taste Doesn't Mean He's A Thug

On the flip side of the coin (pun intended) there are lawyers who make a lavish living. They live in million dollar homes, drive expensive cars, and take fancy vacations. The perks that come with being a successful lawyer, whatever the part of the law you practice, can make an attorney successful if they play their cards right. When people begin to make loads of money, they spend it just as fast. This lawyer went out and bought himself a Lamborghini, a luxury ride that can set a person back $200,000. The lawyer is trying to enjoy the fruits of his labor, but because he's black, he says that people look at him as if he's a drug dealer. Instead of crediting him for being a well-educated man who made something of himself in the business world, people think he's involved in criminal activity. There must be some satisfaction in putting people in their places by dropping the "I'm a lawyer" card, though.

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3 Faking It

It seems as if 2017 is the year that public officials, politicians, and media figures are being called out on misconduct. Some of the accused have responded to the allegations by admitting their fault in the interactions. Most of them have stepped down from their positions, or have been fired. The public has expressed sympathy for the brave men and women who have stepped forward publicly to share their stories of harassment and abuse, but there remains skeptics who don't believe that every person who claims to have endured an assault should be believed without caution.

 

Harassment in the workplace is serious, but unfortunately there are people out there who are less concerned about telling the truth and are more concerned about turning it into a get-rich-quick-scheme.

2 The Really Sketchy Lawyer

So this lawyer admitted to being married to a cop. A couple who fights crime together, stays together! The problem is, this lawyer admitted that even though they're living in wedded bliss with a person who protects and serves, they themselves have been involved with nefarious deeds.

"I've been involved in more dr## deals than I can count," the lawyer wrote.

What kind of clients does this person represent? The criminals of the underworld must have this lawyer on speed dial. This lawyer isn't just putting themselves and their career at risk, but they're endangering their partner, too. What if they get caught and the authorities think the cop is in on it?

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1 The Forbidden Passion

I'm a firm believer that everyone should have what they call, a "side hustle." Typically, side hustles are jobs of passion. Most people aren't able to work in fields that they're excited about, and instead are forced to clock in and out to nine to fives. They make the main bulk of their income from their jobs, while they invest time and energy into their side hustles, putting in work from the heart and not from necessity. If you're lucky, your side hustle and your main job are one in the same.

This lawyer from Whisper didn't say that they didn't like their job as an attorney, but they have a secret skill that not many people know about.

"I make more writing dirty novels" they wrote.

I wonder what that means exactly. Is that some sort of parlor trick that the lawyer pulls out at the bar? Is it their version of whispering sweet nothings? And how do women respond? I'm left with so many more questions than answers.

Sources: whisper.sh

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