Hopefully you’ve never been on the giving or receiving end of these stories. Both the feelers and the felt for getting put into some awkward situations when other men and women come into the picture. Your relationship might be going along swimmingly well. You might be happy and satisfied by them every day. Unfortunately, we can still get distracted by other interests. Attraction doesn’t disappear when you’re in a relationship, and depending on how susceptible you are it can have some bad consequences. Take some of these people, for example. From spending a night of too much fun to texting while in bed with another man, these people have been driven mad with feelings for people who are not their partners. Read on and hear about the worst of the worst. Those that will never really work through their exes, and those that might be adding a new ex to the list sometime soon.
15. Ulterior Personas
You know what a chameleon is, right? It’s one of those animals that can make itself match its surroundings. While impressive in its own right, there is a spooky benefit to this as well. If you can even call it a benefit, that is. One woman discovered that she was able to change herself to become what every man dreamt of. Like Aphrodite’s magic belt, she would become the perfect student, perfect metalhead, perfect cheerleader, and perfect hippy depending on whom she was trying to impress. While her boyfriend discovered her while she was being herself, the person she developed feelings for was more of an… Experiment. She tried to attract him to her by being someone totally different. Someone without a boyfriend, without any nerves or guilt, and with all these traits he just so happened to really like. Luckily she managed to stop things from escalating, but it’s still pretty weird. Who attracts someone just to want to repel them again?
14. Justified and Judging
An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind, right? Wrong. At least, wrong when you’re looking for a sense of revenge. While revenge isn’t the best way to live your life, it’s certainly one of the best ways to feel justified in doing the same terrible thing to someone that they did to you. There’s a lot of pain in the world already, and this doesn’t help heal any of it, but it does let you feel satisfied. At least, that’s what this man felt who found out his wife had been cheating on him throughout their relationship. He was sad and angry when he found out, but they decided to work through it. A few years later, while he was overseas at a different naval base, he ended up cheating on his wife. He was open and honest, and they both felt that they were justified in their actions. Maybe not pleased with themselves, but he admits that he feels a little more… Even.
13. Co-Parenting? Co-Problems
There are so many different setups for families out there now. Whether you’re a single parent, a triple parent squad or co-parents doesn’t matter. As long as your kid is being loved and cared for, it doesn’t matter how many people helped to raise them. That’s the case with this set of co-parents, who were in a long-term off-again-on-again relationship. She says that she never really liked her co-parent, but they would try to stay together out of respect and good, compatible parenting skills. Eventually, while at work, she met a different man and they began to fall in love. After keeping this chaste and hands-off for a while, eventually, they slept together. She felt so guilty about “cheating” on her kind-of-sort-of partner that she stopped talking to this man… For all of a few weeks! They made up and decided to be together, and now she and her baby daddy are just parents. Not co, not a couple, and not ambiguous. The best part? She’s giving her firstborn a baby sibling, a new dad, and her ex is getting married too!
12. Fantasy Romance League
Do you fall in love with the ideas of people, rather than the people themselves? Some of us are horrible at that. We construct these ideas of people in our heads, rather than just being with and being present with those around us. Specifically, with our partners. While we believe in the power of imagination, we also understand when it’s time to get real. One person mentioned how he had a rude awakening one day; he was with Girlfriend 1 (an affectionate nickname we’ve given her to make the story more clear) when he started having feelings for Girlfriend 2. He eventually left Girlfriend 1 for Girlfriend 2, but not until he was sure he was totally in love with her. …Were they, though? He realized after getting with Girlfriend 2 that she wasn’t what he imagined her to be. Part of her appeal was the fact that she was a little forbidden. He made her out to be much more exciting in his head than in person, and ultimately he was disappointed. Hopefully, Girlfriend 3 won’t end up in the same boat!
11. Heart Break City
One woman confessed to literally moving away when she realized what the impact was of having feelings for people other than her partner. It seemed like no matter where she went, she was getting into trouble with people other than her husband. She admits to sleeping with three different people, and never telling her husband about her adventures. Whether this was a good idea or a bad idea, who knows. Eventually, she admits that she decided to divorce her husband and move to a whole new city. Her work transferred her to a new branch of the company and she lived guiltily ever after, in the shadow of all her past mistakes. Her ex may or may not know everything that happened, but we’re willing to bet he’s better off. No doubt she’s better off too, free from the constriction of a monogamous life commitment. Or, maybe her heart is still a little broken… Who are we to judge.
10. Budding Friendships
…And maybe a little more is budding too. One thing that’s always tough to judge is friendships. Close friendships can often look and feel like relationships, with touchy-feely hugs and cheek kisses thrown into movie night cuddling. It’s hard to tell whether or not people really are platonic with friends, or whether there’s some hidden desire there. For one woman, she discovered that there was a lot more than friendship. She and her boyfriend had been together for a few months, during which time he learned about her best friend. This friend was supposedly her BEST friend, and she assured him there was no chance of romance there. Unfortunately, shortly after getting into this relationship, her friend realized he was in love with her… And she felt the same way! Her relationship fell apart, and she finally ended up with her best friend. It’s like the best 80s movie ever.
9. “You Know” Gets Tough
One woman says that she experienced the worst thing ever in her relationship. She says she’s with a wonderful man. Someone who respects her, makes her laugh, and gives her some real truth whenever she needs it. Unfortunately, her love was not the impenetrable fortress that she thought it was. After a few months in, she realized that she was still thinking about her ex. This ex and her ended up hanging out, and she started thinking about her ex while in bed with her boyfriend! It got to the point where their private time together was also being affected because all she thought about was him, and her boyfriend had no idea. Even now, she admits that she hasn’t told him, and probably won’t tell him. Hopefully he’s not going to pick up on it, but you never know… maybe she’ll accidentally say his name instead of her boyfriend’s one time!
8. Weekend Girlfriend
This confession is wild. Have you ever heard of a “weekend girlfriend”? We hadn’t either until this woman’s story. She called herself a weekend girlfriend, which sounds like a pretty okay deal at first. Not only do you get the perks of being someone’s girlfriend, you get guaranteed time on the weekends, what’s normally everyone’s most coveted schedule spot. This woman, though? She seemed to have quite an open schedule. So open, in fact, that she spent most Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights going out and getting into trouble. Apparently during the week she and her boyfriend “didn’t have time” to see each other. He worked night shifts, and she had class during the day. They were together on the weekends, and she found her emotional and physical satisfaction in other people during the week. Her confession? Her boyfriend never suspected a thing. That’s not something to brag about, but it’s certainly impressive.
7. Sneaky Stealing
Othello says that the cheating wouldn’t have hurt him if he hadn’t known, but we disagree. Cheating is cheating. If you sleep with someone else, you’ve hurt you, your partner, and the relationship you’ve built, regardless of who knows. Not to mention the fact that there’s a ton of guilt. At least, that’s what this woman says. She was so guilt-ridden about both being with her new partner, and still seeing her ex-boyfriend on the side, that she ended up having to end it with both of them. Talk about going from 0 to 100 (or, literally, 2 to 0) real quick. She amped things up emotionally with both and it was a huge mistake. Sure, people are able to be with multiple people at once. However, for most of us that doesn’t mean sneaking behind our partners’ backs. And, there’s usually an equal amount of love for all of them. This wasn’t the case. As is often the case with sleeping with your ex, you end up getting back all those old feelings you had before. At least, in her experience.
6. Dangerous Drinks
Ooh, talk about playing with fire. This woman confesses that she discovered her feelings when going out for drinks with her boyfriend and his friends. What was sort of an awkward situation to start with turned into a super awkward situation when she and one of his friends started talking about something totally unrelated to what was going on around them. They found themselves swallowed up in their conversation, tipsy and excited, and then they decided to walk and talk. They stopped for food without the rest of the crew, much to her boyfriend’s chagrin. She realized that not only had her boyfriend called her several times, she was stuck without a way home! Taking the time to lay out the situation to this new guy, she slept on his couch… And still hasn’t left. She confesses that this was one of the best choices she’s ever made. She and this new guy are now happily together, and her boyfriend-at-the-time is with another woman, also happy. Sometimes the feelings don’t all go totally wrong, huh?
5. Dancing Shoes
You think this is another regretful club story? Think again. Not everyone having feelings for people who aren’t their partners are young and foolish. No, this person is actually a little older. She admits to having been married once, and married at the time of this story. She and her husband (at the time) were going through a rough patch. Or, what she thought was a rough patch. She was really depressed and went back to dance class, something she loved as a child, teen, and young adult. She made friends with a man there, and eventually, he was her main support system when she decided to leave her husband. After leaving her husband she and this man fell in love, and she realized that her marriage wasn’t going through a rough patch… It WAS a rough patch! This guy was a blossom and bright light in her life, and she says that she’s no longer depressed.
Yes, there is simply the feeling of being hopeless and helpless. Sometimes you feel like you’re at the mercy of your emotions, getting tossed and turned by the waves of love without any sort of life jacket or steering wheel. We know that that’s not fun. We also know that it’s not the end of the world, even if it feels like it. According to one man, that’s what happened to him. He started to develop feelings for someone else he’d met online, and the result was abysmal at best. Being unable to be with this online lover was killing him, but he lost his nerve when they tried to make it happen. This lackluster motivation and lack of action eventually ruined his online relationship, without ever having affected his real-life one. Will he ever tell his wife? Who knows. Apparently she never suspected anything other than him being addicted to League of Legends. Good thing she didn’t figure out why!
3. Learned Mistakes
This next story comes to us from an ex-cheater; someone who experienced a lot of cheating in her younger days and has done her best to get over it now. While she says she’s gotten better, every so often she does slip up and fool around. Unfortunately, she says, the “once a cheater always a cheater” phrase has some truth to it. It’s hard to unlearn the habits we acquire as kids. If your first relationship is one where both of you are cheating on each other, and you think that it’s “healthy”, yeah, there’s going to be some issues later on. She’s surprised she managed to get so healthy, as most of her early relationships consisted of her either being cheated on or cheating on someone. Nowadays she’s happier, in a committed relationship but still struggling with the feelings. Thankfully romantic feelings are a little easier to control than guilt feelings, and she hasn’t cheated on anyone in over a year!
2. Testing the Field
…On both accounts. Sometimes one person in the relationship having feelings for someone else and telling their partner about it is all the relationship needs. Suddenly their partner is faced with having to be honest about their feelings for other people. And if both people in the relationship are battling other feelings, things can go one of two ways: the couple can either break up or experiment! This confession comes from a pair that’s still together after 7 years! They say that their relationship was on the rocks, full of anxiety and anger and feeling awkward every day. What did they decide to do? They talked about it. It could have been easy to break up, but neither of them would have been happy. They sat down and discussed, and eventually discovered some restlessness. They decided to try having an open relationship, and sure enough, it worked! They’ve never been healthier or happier, and there’s none of the normal feeling usually associated with having feelings… Which is:
1. Feeling Just Plain Guilty
When it gets right down to it, the only thing we CAN feel is just plain guilty. Some people don’t actually care that they have feelings for someone else. They’re able to move on and let the emotions die before they cause too much trouble, their partners never being the wiser. However, some of us don’t actually feel all that calm, cool, or collected when it comes to forbidden feelings. We don’t always allow things to roll off our shoulders, and we certainly don’t let feelings die. If you’re one of those people, it’s okay. The majority of confessions we found said that no matter what happened, they still felt guilty about having feelings for someone who wasn’t their partner. It hurts to have your heart jumping around; all we can say is to make sure you’re on the healthiest path before you follow it.
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