Deliberately causing emotional damage to the person you’re supposed to love is a pretty unforgivable act. We expect our partners to protect us from harm, both physical and emotional, not cause it themselves! At least a lot of people do genuinely regret their actions once they realise just how much hurt they’ve caused. It may not make the slighted girlfriend feel any better, but at least the perpetrator of the harm can learn from their mistakes and try to be a better person.
However, some people in this world are apparently so low that they’ll happily emotionally damage their girlfriend and feel no remorse whatsoever. They often have a defence at the ready when someone calls out their terrible behaviour, but it’s never quite enough. There’s no excuse for deliberately attacking someone’s self-esteem, making them feel inferior, or bullying them into submission. You can claim that they deserve it since they hurt you first, but is manipulating their emotions really the best way to deal with a situation like that?
Apparently, some men still think that such emotional damage is the best course of action. It’s disgusting, but it’s true. Here are 15 confessions from men who dealt some serious emotional damage to their girlfriends, and don’t regret it one bit.
15 He Hurt His Girlfriend By Cheating, Then Blamed It On Her
This kind of thinking is a real pet hate of mine. It’s time for some real talk: cheating on someone is never the fault of the betrayed party. This guy didn’t have to cheat just because his girlfriend wasn’t being as attentive as he’d like. He could have tried to talk things through with her, or even end the relationship if things were irreparable. Instead, he decided to put his girlfriend through the emotional turmoil of being cheated on. She’s going to spend hours and hours of her life wondering why he did it, whether she deserved it in some way, and why she wasn’t good enough for him. Her confidence will have been shattered, and her self-worth will be at an all time low. All this pain will be endured simply because the author of this confession skipped straight to cheating instead of trying to work on his relationship. He may not feel guilt for his actions, but he really, really should.
14 He Dealt With His Girlfriend Cheating In A Totally Destructive Way
This may be a controversial opinion, but I don’t think the author of this confession acted in the correct way after discovering his girlfriend had cheated. It’s totally understandable that he’d be devastated. His trust in her will have been totally broken, and it sounds like she broke his heart. However, using emotional manipulation to convince his cheating girlfriend to stay with him isn’t going to help anyone in the long run. It sounds like he’s perfectly happy to stay with her, as long as he constantly gets to punish her for her transgression. That’s not going to be good for either of them in the long run. This guy deserves to find someone who’s going to make him happy, and not end up with someone he’s forcing to stay with him out of spite. Plus, while cheating is a pretty despicable act, surely totally destroying the confidence of that girl isn’t the best reaction. Cutting her out of your life? Sure. Trying to utterly ruin hers? Not so great.
13 He Thinks He Can Control His Girlfriend's Appearance, No Matter How Much It Hurts Her
One thing this guy says is true: physical attraction is an important side to any relationship. If you don’t think your partner is hot, you’re probably just best friends who sleep together sometimes rather than an actual committed couple. However, this confessor takes it WAY too far. If he’s truly unhappy with how she looks, he should set her free. She deserves to be with some who thinks she’s the most beautiful girl in the world. Bullying her into changing just for him is going to make this poor girlfriend horribly self-conscious. It’s going to make her question whether she’s ‘enough’ in terms of her looks, and will make her think that her boyfriend is only going to stick around if she has the perfect body. This is how a lot of mental health issues start. This kind of bullying is totally unacceptable and unjustifiable. It could leave this girl with lingering securities for the rest of her life, just because one stupid guy wanted to control her.
12 He Bullies His Girlfriend To Boost His Own Confidence
It’s well known that bullies often lash out at others not because they truly don’t like their victim, but because they don’t like themselves. Low self-confidence leads to people belittling others in an attempt to boost their own ego. It’s a despicable act no matter who you inflict misery on, but it’s especially low when your victim is your own girlfriend. This man’s poor partner probably feels crushed – a person she thought loved her has spent his time deliberately making her feel insecure about her appearance. While having low self-confidence is awful, it’s no excuse to emotionally damage. This guy should have tried to address his own issues without inflicting them so destructively on his girlfriend. To feel no remorse about the situation is even worse. How can you claim to care for someone but treat them like this? I hope she found the courage to leave.
11 His Controlling Behavior Damages His Girlfriend More Than He Could Ever Know
Controlling who your partner can and can’t see is a textbook case of emotional abuse. This guy particularly has a problem with his girlfriend seeing other men under any circumstances. He doesn’t seem to have grasped the concept that women and men can actually just be friends: it doesn’t have to end in a romantic connection. Influencing his girlfriend in this way will have done her a whole lot of emotional harm. It will have left her feeling powerless and trapped, and eroded her self-confidence more and more over time. She will have become desperately lonely. Since she’s clearly no longer permitted to confide in her friends, this girlfriend will have been forced to be dependent on her toxic boyfriend. I only hope that she recognised that his behaviour was a huge red flag and called him out on it. Nobody deserves to be manipulated in this way.
10 He Came From A Broken Home - And His Girlfriend Suffers Because Of It
A lot of the time, coming from a broken home sucks. It can be especially painful if the circumstances of your parents’ breakup were difficult, and even worse if there was abuse involved. However, using this as an excuse to emotionally hurt your girlfriend is totally unacceptable. The author of this confession doesn’t seem to realise that he can change his behaviour if he wants to. He seems resigned to hurting his girlfriend just because his dad did the same to his mom. The correct response to realizing he’s repeating history would be to seek therapy, be more conscious of his behaviour, and try his absolute best to stop emotionally abusing his girlfriend. Refusing to do this could well cost him his relationship. Whatever the outcome, his girlfriend is going to come out of the situation with some serious emotional scars. Here’s hoping time can heal them.
9 He Thinks His Threatening Behavior Is Normal
Okay, this guy has basically admitted to emotionally abusing his girlfriend. He doesn’t see it like that, though: he’s decided that threatening and manipulating his girlfriend is fine. Pro tip: acting in this way is not fine at all. Using threats to get what you want might seem like a fast-track method to always getting your own way, but it can have severe psychological and emotional repercussions for your partner. It takes away their agency in the relationship and essentially emotionally blackmails them into staying with their abusive power. The added presence of manipulation can make the victim wonder whether there’s really anything wrong about her boyfriend’s behaviour, or if she’s simply overreacting. It’s a double whammy of terrible treatment that nobody deserves to endure. Unfortunately, the author of this confession doesn’t seem to agree with that. Hopefully they’ll eventually see the error of their ways.
8 He Claimed His Fat-Shaming Was For Her Own Good
This boyfriend claims that he criticized his partner’s weight for her own good. He was just looking out for her health, after all! However, this doesn’t seem to tell the whole story. If his words managed to damage his girlfriend’s self-esteem to the extent he claims, he must have been expressing his ‘concern’ in a pretty harsh or mean way. At the end of the day, his girlfriend’s health is her own responsibility. If she wants to make changes to her lifestyle, that’s up to her, not her boyfriend. Constantly nagging someone to lose weight is bound to damage their confidence eventually. They won’t see that you want to help them help themselves, if that’s truly your intention. Instead, they will begin to feel inferior as a person based on their appearance, and their body confidence will suffer.
7 He Led Her On, Then Broke Her Heart
Leading someone on when you know full well you’re going to break up with them is one of the cruellest things you can do. Not only are you totally wasting their time, you’re also causing them a lot of avoidable emotional pain. The longer you string someone alone, the more attached to you they’ll get, and the harder they’ll take the inevitable breakup. This guy clearly didn’t get the memo that treating a partner like this is unacceptable – or he just didn’t care. While it’s important not to settle for someone who you know won’t make you happy long-term, self-care is no excuse fore breaking someone’s heart in this way. I hope his now ex-girlfriend found someone who truly loved and cherished her. Everyone deserves better than being someone’s temporary fix while they wait for someone ‘better’ to come along.
6 He Gives Her The Silent Treatment As A Punishment, Even If She Doesn't Deserve It
Giving your partner the silent treatment is a pretty immature – even childish – way to deal with an argument. However, this guy has taken sulking to a new level. It’s bad enough being ignored when you know why your boyfriend is upset with you. This guy does it without giving his girlfriend any indication of what she’s allegedly done wrong. This is actually a really emotionally damaging way to treat someone. This poor woman probably developed considerable anxiety as a result of her boyfriend’s manipulative actions. Not knowing how you’ve offended someone is bound to make you worry that you’re going to do it again without realising. Using silence as a punishment is a common method employed by narcissists, and actually constitutes a form of abuse. It takes away the victim’s power and traps them in an impossible situation. They might want to make amends, but they can’t if their partner simply ignores their efforts. It’s cruel, inexcusable behaviour on the part of this boyfriend.
5 He Can't Control His Temper - So He Takes It Out On Her
It’s one thing having a short temper, but needlessly taking out your anger on another person is another matter entirely. It’s true that some people are predisposed to getting mad at the drop of a hat thanks. However, possessing this particular personality trait doesn’t mean you have a free pass to emotionally torment your partner. If your temper is affecting someone that negatively, you should seek anger management treatment or counselling. You shouldn’t just resign to hurting others because you’re too stubborn to change. As someone who’s been at the receiving end of this kind of emotional damage in the past, I can tell you that it’s only going to end in resentment and bitterness. My general outlook is that you should only ask someone to change if their behaviour is genuinely harming another person. In the case of this confession, that’s definitely the case. The author shouldn’t be complacent: he should work on his temper before he damages his girlfriend further, or loses her for good.
4 He Refuses To Accept Her Flaws, Even Though It Breaks Her Heart
Public service announcement: every single human being in this world has flaws. It’s a fact of life. No matter how hard we try, we simply aren’t perfect, and it’s unrealistic to expect both ourselves and others to meet these impossible standards. This guy clearly hasn’t discovered the concept of loving someone despite their faults, and seems to want to mould his girlfriend into a flawless piece of perfection. It’s never going to happen: all he’s going to do is put that poor woman through endless emotional pain. If her flaws are too much for him to bear, he should leave the relationship, not beat his girlfriend down emotionally until she’s completely subservient to his wishes. I doubt he’d ever agree to fix every single one of his flaws for another person, yet he expects his girlfriend to do just that. Don’t follow his example. He might not see it, but he’s acting in a truly awful manner.
3 He Didn't Realize Just How Much He Was Damaging Her
It might seem like the author of this confession is trying to make excuses for his behaviour, but a lot of people genuinely don’t know what does and doesn’t constitute emotional abuse. It’s a major failure of our education system. We don’t teach boys how to respect women appropriately, and we don’t teach girls any of the signs of abuse that they should look out for. At least this guy did finally realize that his actions constituted abuse and caused his girlfriend serious emotional damage. However, I don’t quite buy the idea that it wasn’t his fault at all. If you can’t admit to yourself that you made a mistake, it’s very hard to modify your behaviour and grow as a person. I can only hope that this boyfriend came to terms with what he’d done and chose a path of self-improvement, for the sake of himself and his girlfriend.
2 His Emotional Blackmail Convinced Her To Stay
Let’s face it: this relationship is doomed. Since this guy’s girlfriend was trying to dump him, it’s safe to assume that something isn’t quite right between the two of them. However, instead of trying to fix whatever the issue was, this guy decided to totally emotionally crush his girlfriend instead to guilt trip her into staying with him. Setting aside the effect it must have had on her, how can that guy be happy knowing that his partner is only with him because he broke her down? How can he live with that knowledge? I’m not sure what the answer is, but he’s clearly come to terms with the situation somehow. I feel sorry for his poor girlfriend. She obviously wasn’t happy in the relationship beforehand; now, she must be utterly miserable.
1 His Substance Abuse Harmed Everyone Around Him - But He Feels No Shame
Substance addiction is a truly terrible thing. It destroys lives, ruins relationships, and makes people act in ways they’d never have dreamed of prior to the start of their issues. Substance abuse doesn’t just affect the addict themselves either – it can have a huge impact on their loved ones. This confession is a clear example of that. This boyfriend seemingly feels no guilt for the hurt he caused his love during the depths of his addiction. It’s easy to see where he’s coming from: the substances he took clearly changed his behaviour. However, he does need to accept that it was still him that acted in an emotionally destructive manner. Addiction doesn’t exempt you from criticism. It’s not an excuse for treating others in a hurtful manner; it’s merely an explanation as to why such behaviour occurred. Some blame still lies with the abuser, and that needs to be acknowledged for the sake of their victim.