15 Confessions From Mail Order Brides

in Cringeworthy
15 Confessions From Mail Order Brides

It has been said that the mail order bride industry is basically a softer, legalized version of human trafficking. While certainly there are happy endings for everyone involved when it comes to mail order brides, an overwhelming amount of women finds themselves in very dark situations when they arrive at their destinations. Some of them leave really bad situations only to find themselves in even worse ones. And this industry is nothing new. The Mail Order Bride industry is a concept that has been around for ages. Men who wanted women but could not find any around them, simply outsourced it. In the 19th century when America was still populating the sparse western frontier, men who were out in the middle of nowhere homesteading would take out ads in newspapers for interested women. These days, the mail order bride industry is still huge and there are businesses that are dedicated to just finding the perfect bride for a man.

The biggest exporters of mail order brides are Russia, Ukraine, Thailand, and Vietnam. With most of them going to North America, but not exclusively. The way the mail order bride companies seem to primarily operate, is by showing men a catalogue of women that have little blurbs written about them and men can pick and choose. Sometimes men will fly out to the women’s home country to meet before she makes the big move over, but more often than not the first time the couple meets is when the bride shows up in her soon to be husbands country. There are some agencies that are definitely worse than others when it comes to the women they deal with. Some mail order brides are human trafficking victims who have had little choice in what is being done to them. While this industry is bizarre, and there is a lot of criminal activity within it, it is legal. Hopefully the fact that is is legal provides more protection and safety for women and men who do choose to go this route when it comes to finding love.

15. Oksana Makarova Managed To Run Away From Her Husband Just In Time

Dan Lubbers

Oksana Marakova was a poor single mother living in Ukraine when she decided she would do what she had to to give her son a better a life. In 2000 with the help of agency, Oksana along with 200 other young women stood in a hotel in Odessa, Ukraine while her future husband, Florida doctor Carl, looked at his options. He zeroed in on Oskana, and she explains at first she was not interested in the man 25 years her senior but she felt she owed it to her son to give him a better life in America. Soon after arriving Carl got very abusive, even after Oksana gave him a son. He had gotten so violent towards Oksana and her first son that CPS got involved and Oksana was finally able to get away from him with her children before something worse happened. Oksana is living happily in America now, and writes about her experience as a mail order bride and the industry in a blog online. This story had a happy ending, but many women are not able to get away like Oksana was.

14. What Could Go Wrong In This Situation?

“This is a bold strategy Cotton. Let’s see how this plays out for her.” You know someone is desperate to get out of whatever situation they are in if they would make such a blatant lie. And this is a bad one, it’s one thing when you lie on a dating app or dating website because its just a date. Lots of people have horrible dates and then it is over. In this case, the guy is bringing her over so he can marry her. Things are a bit heavier than just a plain old first date. As you have probably deduced at this point in the article, it is not that easy to just send your mail order bride back to her home country. So much so, that an alarmingly high number of men seem to think the best way to get rid of them is by ending their lives. We wish this girl the best of luck.

13. David Sartin Tries To Have His Wife Shipped Over In A Crate

Daily Mail

David Sartin visited his would be wife Elena Barkyina a number of times in Ukraine while he was courting her. The two met over a website called Dream Website that is supposed to facilitate American men meeting Russian and Ukrainian women who are looking to be married. But things took a very dark turn before Elena even made her way over to America. While David seemed like the perfect man showering her with gifts and trips across Europe as well as paying her rent and bills. Then he found out that Elena had a boyfriend in Ukraine and he took extreme measures. He tried to hire someone that would ship Elena from Ukraine in a crate! He made the mistake of falling for an undercover officer to whom he revealed his plan, which was to use Elena every which way for a week after she arrived via crate and then would poison her to get rid of her. David Sartin is sitting in prison now serving out a 10 year sentence for this.

12. A Girl With A Plan For Success

Not everyone wants to leave their home country, they just want the money in order to be able to live well in it. This girl has a pretty solid plan about how to get what she wants. Do you consider this to be cold hearted on her end? The husband she is duping must be getting something out of it in the meantime, it’s not like these guys who order mail order brides are looking to just give someone a free ride with nothing reciprocated. And it is hard to feel bad for a guy that goes this route and gets played, while yes there is a certain amount of empathy but you have to wonder about the kind of person that chooses this route for romance. A lot of the guys want a foreign wife because how submissive they are, in fact this is directly part of advertisements for mail order brides from countries like Russia, where they claim the women are more traditional because American women have been ruined by feminism. What a world.

11. Lirim Rufati Treated His Mail Order Wife So Badly And Then Tried To Send Her Back

Daily Local News

Lirim Rufati tried to deny the horrific allegations brought against him by his mail order Macedonian wife but the facts were against him. 9-1-1 was called by his wife’s friend back in January 2013 claiming that Rufati had kidnapped his wife and was at JFK airport trying to force her onto a flight back to her home country. This was just the tip of the iceberg of what he had done to the poor women though. She brought charges of assault against him to court of which he was found guilty even though he denied it all. The entire relationship was violent according to his wife who testified in court that he totally isolated her and was not only physically but verbally abusive as well always calling her names. ‘He made me feel small and uncomfortable. He abused me physically almost every day. He made me feel like a slave. My life with him was Hell.” He got sentenced to just under 2 years in prison.

10. Scott Huss Does Something Terrible In front Of His Wife’s Son

A Candy Rose

Scott Huss married his Russian bride Yana in 2000. She already had a son named Peter from a previous relationship, and the two went on to have a daughter together. By 2007 on April 11th Yana had filed for divorce and was trying to do everything she could to get away from him. Police records show a number of calls from their house for domestic disturbance issues, revealing that Yana was dealing with abuse from him for years. After filing for divorce, Yana stayed at a shelter because she was so scared of what Scott would do to her, and obviously it turned out that she had a good reason to be fearful. On April 22nd Yana left her young daughter with a babysitter and took Peter back to Scott’s house to get some belongings. Unfortunately this visit ended in tragedy as Scott ended Yana’s life, all while her son Peter watched. Scott was found guilty of this crime and is in prison now.

A Candy Rose

9. Nothing Like A Fathers Love To Get You Where You Need To Be In Life

This Whisper confession is nothing short of heartbreaking and tragic. Just try and imagine the home situation that this girl is dealing with. Obviously there are addiction issues in her home, and that does not automatically make someone a horrible and abusive parent but we feel it is safe to say that if her father is willing to basically sell her to feed his addiction he probably was not a very nice father. Mail order bridge agencies are not all created equal, and the one that this girl was probably forced to use was definitely not one of the good ones. Here is hoping that she found a much betters situation than the one she left behind, but the odds don’t seem to be in her favour.

8. Mail Order Brides Aren’t Illegal, But 16-Year-Old ones Definitely Are!

Whisper

As we have mentioned, the mail order bride industry while entirely legal has a lot of criminal activity within it. It’s the kind of business it is, tends to attract some unsavoury characters. A 16-year-old should never have been a mail order bride. It must be scary enough going to an entirely new country to meet a man you may have never even met before this and be expected to spend the rest of your life with him at any age, but at 16 it is just a living nightmare. Not only did she have this rough start, clearly the guy she ended up with was not deserving of her and did not provide her with a happy situation. She was underage and scared, and then ended up married to an abusive man. At least the secret ends on a positive note, and we hope she did get away.

7. Vietnamese Mail Ordered Bride Is Accused Of Something Horrific

Daily Mail

It’s not only the husbands that can be the bad guys though. China has a high number of single men compared to women, so a lot of Chinese men especially in the more rural provinces will outsource their wives. Lai Binghao along with his father managed to come up with 3000 pounds to pay for a wife from Vietnam, Ayou. Little did he realize this would be a mortal mistake for him. She fell pregnant pretty quickly and gave birth to twin boys a year after arriving in China. Lai’s mother moved into the home with her son and daughter-in-law to help out with the babies. When Lai’s father, Lai Shehui went to go visit his family he found his son and wife tied up and fatally wounded. The twins were missing. Not long after Chinese police located Ayou. She admitted where her twins were, she had tried to sell them for around 7ooo pounds each in a town over. Ayou is in prison for her crimes while Lai Shehui raises his twin grand babies as a single grandpa.

Daily Mail

6. Emilita Villa Reeves From The Philippines Goes Missing

murderpedia

There is certainly a type of guy that tends to seek out mail order bridges. Jack Wayne Reeves was 56 -years-old and already his two past wives had died in suspicious and violent circumstances. His fourth wife was Emilita, a mail order bride from the Philippines. When she went missing a concerned friend reached out to police and Jack Wayne Reeves violent and murderous tendencies came to light. Emilita was not even Jack Wayne Reeves first mail order bride. When Emilita’s body was found, police reopened in the investigation into his first wife’s death and found him guilty of it. They did not reopen the investigation into his third wife, who was from South Korea and found drowned, but it is safe to say that he is probably responsible for that death as well. Reeves maintains his innocence in each wife death, too bad for him though the court found him guilty and sentenced him to prison.

5. Someone is bound to find out!

Someone needs to tell this girl that the parentheses around husband do not make sense. Girl you are actually married, that is your actual husband. Regardless of if you have some honey on the side, if you are married on paper you are married. Whisper confessions tend to create a lot of questions, and this one is no exception. Is the boyfriend back home, or in her new country? Is she exhausted from trying to juggle multiple relationships? This seems like a pretty self explanatory scenario though. She is probably bleeding her husband dry until she is well off enough that she can make a break for it with her boyfriend that she actually wants to be with. Don’t ever say that women can’t be ruthless even if it is a mans world.

4. Hans Thomas Reiser Makes Life A Living Hell For His Mail-Ordered Bride

Daily Mail

In 1988 Hans Thomas Reiser was working and living in Russia when he decided to use an agency to help him find a wife. From a catalogue of women, he chose Nina Sharapova. The couple went on to have two have children together after getting married, but by 2004 Nina could not take him anymore and filed for divorce. She went missing in September 2006 after dropping the children she shared with Hans off at his mothers house, where he was living as well. Police combed the surrounding areas looking for her, but it would not be until July of that year that a found body would be confirmed to be the deceased Nina. Hans lost custody of his children and was found guilty of his ex-wifes death. This story is particularly scary because she did everything right. She left a man that she was not happy with, and was living in America trying to make a good life for her and her kids and he should would not let her live without him.

Salon

3. Hopefully She Isn’t Trading One Abusive Situation For Another

Desperate times call for some desperate measures. When someone is in a bad enough situation, they look for any kind of way out. The mail order bride industry has definitely provided an escape for a lot of women from poverty and abusive situations. While the industry tends to leave a sour taste in peoples mouths because of so many horror stories that have come out, it is not all bad. This Whisper confessor is an example of the hope that being a mail order bride can provide to someone in a bad place. When you have no other choices, being a mail order bride hardly seems like a bad option even with all the cases gone wrong. She knows if she stays, her bad situation will just stay bad. At least if she leaves, there is a chance for something better. Not a high one, but a chance is more than she had back home.

2. Gary Swierski Enlists His Daughters Help To Get Rid Of His Wife’s Body

The Mercury News

Gary Swierski had a history of preying on vulnerable women in developing countries and being abusive. In fact, after it was found that he was responsible for taking his wife Reine’s life, police opened up the case about his ex girlfriend who apparently drowned. It turned out that he was responsible for her death as well and had staged it so it seemed like she drowned. His first wife was from the Philippines, and the trail of abuse begins with her. Gary met her through a pen pal service in the 80’s and brought her to America where they had a child together. During the trial for the death of Reina, his first wife testified about how abusive he was to her. Clearly a lot of women suffered at his hands. When Reina went missing, neighbours told the cops that he was regularly abusive towards her but the cops could not find anything linking him to her disappearance or murder. That is until his teenager daughter went to the police and admitted that she helped her father get rid of her step-mothers body. This monster is now thankfully behind bars serving time for crimes that he got away for years doing.

1. Idle King And His Male Lover Ended His Mail Order Brides Life

Seattlepi

Idle King had a very suspicious history, that had his soon to be mail order bride looked into would have probably made her change her mind about marrying him. Anastasia King was 20-years-old when she got married to the 40-year-old Idle King who already had one marriage go wrong with a Russian mail order bride. The 20 year thought that her dreams could come true when she came to America, but instead the husband that was supposed to change her life for the better ended up ending it along with his male lover who was 21-years-old at the time. The 270 pound Idle King was worried that this marriage would go wrong like his first one did, so he though the best thing to do was get rid of his young wife. It was obviously her that was the issue, not his abusive and cheating self. While he held her down, 21-year-old Daniel Larson strangled her. King was found guilty of her murder and got a 20 plus year prison sentence.

Urbanette

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