15 Confessions From Delivery Room Nurses

in Cringeworthy
15 Confessions From Delivery Room Nurses

Pregnancy and giving birth are no cakewalk. Neither are they as glamorous or as easy as movies and television make them out to be. For many women, pregnancy and giving birth are the hardest things they will ever have to do. These women are drained both emotionally and physically. Their hormones are out of whack and their bodies will never be the same again. In fact, their lives will never be the same again either. But the result of all this–a brand new baby cradled in a mother’s arms—tends to be worth it every time.

Few things are better for humans than holding our newborn babies in our arms for the first time. These precious little angels will have a part of our hearts forever–even when they are crying, even when they move out of our house and even when we are in labor. People say pregnancy brain helps a woman forget how traumatic pregnancy and labor was so that she will want to do it all over again. Labor for some women can be very difficult—it can even last hours and hours. Some crazy things can happen while a mother is in labor in her delivery room, and here are 15 cases where things got a little hairy.

15. Lady Bit Logic

Via: Whisper

Everyone’s lady bits look different, and they look especially different when they are pregnant or are pushing out a baby. Grooming down there can definitely vary. Some women leave their jungle to grow, others trim their pubic hair, some wax a up top, but others just go Brazilian—leaving no hair down there whatsoever.

When women are pregnant, sometimes their nether regions change from a pinkish color to a blue or purple hue. In fact, a change in color may be one of the first indicators of pregnancy. Gynecologists may not judge you for your lady parts, because it is their job. Nurses, on the other hand, do in fact gossip about your lady bits. In fact, they probably gossip about quite a bit about anything and everything.

14. Baby Swap

Via: Whisper

This is totally crazy. The delivery nurse should not have been in the position to play God. Not only will the child never know about their real parents, but the other parents will never know what happened to their real baby. At some point, it is quite possible that the family will find out.

For instance, say the baby will need a blood transfusion in the future, but they will not be able to get a match from any of their future siblings because they are not biological siblings.

Imagine how rough finding out that way could be for everyone involved. Let alone, how does one even track down the nurse that swapped the babies in the first place? But, to each their own right? Maybe they will never find out and live happily ever after.

13. Cheater, Cheater

Via: Reddit

This whole situation is super unfortunate—and it is a total mess. It must be really difficult to be a NICU nurse as it is—seeing all the little babies struggling to keep their body working properly—but to see this situation must have been unreal. It is unfortunate in more ways than one.

First, the mother of the babies was a drug user. This may have caused the babies to be born with a drug addiction already. Second, the mother is not grateful that they were born—she is grateful that they are not black. Third, the mother lied to her white partner, and she seemed to have no intention of telling him about her cheating. Finally, the mother chose to abandon the babies when she found out they were black, causing them to become wards of the state.

12. Keep It In The Family

Via: Whisper

There are so many questions about this one. Did the mother know her baby’s half-sister was her nurse? Did the nurse know that the baby born was her half-sibling? How did this Whisperer find out that her half-sister was one of the nurses in the delivery room? Was there some strange encounter between the nurse and the Whisperer later in life where they both found out? Do the Whisperer and the nurse have the same dad?

That leads to, did the mother giving birth know that her husband had other children? So many questions! Unfortunately, this Whisperer just leaves us to wonder forever. It would be weird enough going through life having one’s sister deliver them from their mom’s lady bits, but a half-sister yields so much more intrigue.

11. But Can You Pay For This Baby?

Via: Whisper

Babies are very expensive. One never knows how many expensive things could go wrong when a new baby is born. The average vaginal birth costs $2,600 without complications while a C-section costs $4,500 without complications. That is just the delivery! It does not even take into account how much it costs to stay in the hospital, the costs of food, the cost of paying the nurses, and so on.

Having a baby is expensive, and then raising the baby beyond that for eighteen years is even more expensive. Every day, people who cannot afford to raise a child have babies. While this delivery nurse is right—children deserve to have parents who can love and provide—there is very little that can be done to stop this from happening.

10. ]There’s Something In The Water

Via: Whisper

This nurse may have a solution for the previous delivery nurse’s concerns. It sounds like this labor and delivery nurse has a lot of experience delivering babies for lots of uneducated teenagers. So, why not put some form of birth control in the water?

First of all, it would be totally unethical. People really would not appreciate it if they were drugged without their knowledge. Second of all, birth control in the water does not exist.

Hormones would be pumped into the water, however, water cannot differentiate between genders. So, boys would be getting feminine hormones pumped into their systems, and then the poor high schools would have to deal with a whole lot of emotional teenagers—as if they do not do that already.

9. Need Some Education

Via: Reddit

With the invention of the Internet–and more specifically Google–it is baffling that anyone could not know how a baby is made, but leave it to this woman who had no idea she was 26 weeks pregnant! The woman came into the ER with her girlfriend complaining about abdominal pain—maybe an appendix issue or something, right? Wrong.

After doctors felt around her stomach, they knew right away that she was probably pregnant. The patient was in total denial because she was a lesbian. After more tests, doctors broke the news to the patient. She was appalled because she only had sex with a man once. Yet, once is all it takes. One cannot imagine the fallout between the patient and her girlfriend that must have happened afterwards.

8. Sticky Situations

Thank heavens for family loyalty. So, here is the situation. A man is seen at the hospital by his wife’s cousin. The man is there signing the birth certificate of his child with his side chick—not his wife. The wife’s cousin, who is a nurse at the hospital, tells the man’s wife, aka her cousin. Confused yet?

This confession begs the question of whether the nurse would commit a HIPPA violation if she decided to tell her cousin that her husband cheated. The HIPPA code has to do with doctor-patient confidentiality and things like that. However, because it is unlikely that the girlfriend was the nurse’s patient and because the husband was just a visitor at the hospital, any argument about HIPPA violations would likely be invalid. This dude is sure going to have a lot of explaining to do.

7. Nature Vs. Nurture

Via: Whisper

Nature vs. nurture is a debate for the ages on many accounts. This labor and delivery nurse has to deal with the debate on probably a daily basis. However, with the quick pace of improvements in the medical field, nature takes its course less and less often.

Perhaps this nurse should have considered a different career path if she did not want to see the nurture side take over. Nurturing is her job as a nurse. That is what she is supposed to do for all of her patients.

For labor and delivery nurses, they must listen to what the doctor says and what the parents of the new baby want for their child, even if the nurse does not agree with the call. That is what a nurse is paid to do.

6. A Little Tipsy

Via: Whisper

At least this Whisperer is a nurse and not a surgeon, right? Alcohol impairs basic human functions causing the body and brain to slow down. While a nurse is not in charge of a person’s primary care, the role that they play is crucial for their patient’s survival. A doctor will advise them what to do, whether verbally or written down and alcohol could greatly impact how those instructions are received.

The wrong dosage of medicine could be given, the wrong kind of medicine could be given, a nurse could mess up recording a patient’s stats—all number of things could go wrong while practicing medicine under the influence of alcohol. Better to keep your career and livelihood than get caught being a little buzzed on the job.

5. The Name Game

Via: Reddit

People name their kids all sorts of crazy things these days. While this is not the funniest or weirdest name, this labor and delivery nurse on Reddit was pretty caught up on the name Achilles. Because she is a nurse, her first thought was of the Achilles heel and not Achilles the hero from Greek mythology. How odd that the nurse did not think of the Achilles tendon, let alone why it is called the Achilles tendon.

But hey, it is not this nurse’s job to name babies. Plus, the baby could have been named something a lot weirder, such as Villain or Platinum. Some people even name their kids the first things that pop in their head when they are at the hospital, like Nurse or Doctor. Weird, huh?

4. Oh, The Irony

Via: Whisper

This nurse might be a little grateful she is not in this situation with her ex, especially in hindsight with his cheating. What is going to stop him from cheating on his new baby mama if he cheated on his ex-girlfriend with his baby momma? What a mess, right? This nurse may be having the last laugh. It might have been an especially awkward delivery if the new mom knew that her nurse was her baby daddy’s ex.

Both parties could have felt really self-conscious the whole time. Maybe the nurse even had an uncomfortable reunion with her former lover in front of his new baby momma. Maybe the baby momma did not know she played a role in his cheating. In short, if one does not cheat, one will not have problems like this.

3. Mother-In-Law Drama

Via: BabyCenter

This may or may not be an urban legend, but this story has been making the rounds for years. It even made it on to this thread twice. First of all, a lot of women have complicated relationships with their mothers-in-law—that is just the way it is. Having your mother-in-law around for the birth of your baby can complicate things. Understandably, this couple thought the mother-in-law would probably be helpful and supportive.

Instead, the mother-in-law gets a little too personal with her daughter-in-law. There are few people in this case who should have their hands up in a woman’s lady bits and those people include the baby a woman gives birth to, her doctor and her husband. No one else. Hopefully, it is just an urban legend, because one could not imagine that story making its way around the dinner table.

2. Big Bill

Skin-to-skin contact tends to be the first way that a new mother holds her newborn. A nurse puts the mother’s newborn on the mother’s chest, so that the new little family can bond right away. This moment between mother and baby is magical. Unfortunately for this Provo, Utah couple, the cost of holding their brand new baby is pretty high–$39.35.

It seems pretty ridiculous that medical facilities can put a price on holding your baby for the first time. While it makes sense that the extra nurse in the delivery room must be paid for, one could probably find a better photographer for a family’s first moment together than a nurse. After the fact, the bill seems comical and a good story to tell at the child’s future wedding.

1. You Are Not The Father

Via: Reddit

This one is a classic used in many jokes, movies and television. The mother gives birth to a baby that is clearly not the supposed father’s. Well call Jerry Springer, because this is about to get crazy. This Reddit user was witness to a birth in which his friend was not the father. The real baby daddy was another friend of the family.

All of this led to a whole lot of drama. Security likely had to break up some fighting at the hospital. The friendships all ended and perhaps a marriage did, too. The new mom became addicted to drugs, but then pulled her life back together. The baby daddy left her in a lurch. The other man involved moved away and it sounds like he is happily married–all because the mother cheated. What a mess.

Sources: Whisper, Reddit, Baby Center Community

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