Is your boyfriend acting a bit strange whenever your best friend comes over? Do you have an annoying bit of intuition tugging at your gut? It could very well be that your intuition is right and your boyfriend is secretly thinking about sleeping with your best friend.
But, wait. Don’t panic and don’t work yourself into a tizzy. Looking at and thinking about other people is only natural. You have probably thought about it, too. A boyfriend’s great looking friend comes along and you take one look into his eyes and you can’t help but think of the what ifs. Did you go ahead and cheat on your boyfriend with his friend? Probably not, and the odds are that your boyfriend will follow through on his fantasies are hopefully pretty slim, too.
You can either be flattered, your boyfriend likes your best friend and his daydreams just might be his way of getting closer to you, or you can be weary of this situation. But do not take it out on your friend if she is innocent in all this. Either way, whether he is actually thinking about cheating or he is just having healthy, adult fantasies, here are 15 signs that he might want to sleep with your best friend.
15 Insists you invite her
You are excited to go to the opening of the new bar in town. As you stand in front of the mirror, putting your earrings in, your boyfriend walks in and asks you about inviting your bestie along. Normally you would be thrilled to have her long, but you wanted tonight to just be about you and your boyfriend.
This could be a sign that your boyfriend wants to sleep with your best friend, but it could also just be that he is being considerate. He knows how much you love spending time with your best friend and the new bar opening would be a lot of fun with another person in the mix.
14 Wants you to stop being friends with her
You and your best friend do everything together. You’ve known each other for years and know each others likes, hates, and darkest secrets. So when your boyfriend asks you to stop hanging out with her, the paranoia bells start ringing in your head. What if he wants to hang out with her instead? What if she is too much of a temptation for him?
If your boyfriend wants you to stop being friends with your bestie, it is time to get to the bottom of the situation. Is he controlling and does he demand your complete attention? If so, the problem is with him and not you and your best friend. If that is not the case, then you need to sit down and have a talk with him to find out why he wants to break up your friendship.
13 Asks you about her previous boyfriends
You are snuggled up next to your beau on the sofa, looking through your pictures. At first he seems bored, but then he stops to look at a picture of your best friend with her previous boyfriend. “Who’s that guy?” he asks. You tell him about the story of her previous boyfriend and then he begins asking you about all her other boyfriends. Why should he care? Shouldn’t he be asking you about your previous boyfriends?
Your boyfriend may be trying to compare himself to her other boyfriends, seeing if he would have a chance with your best friend, but he could also just be looking for some gossiping fun. While men are loathe to admit it, they love gossip just as much as we do.
12 Wants you to dress like her
“I like that outfit Charee’s wearing. Why don’t you dress like that?” Yeah, you think to yourself, and why don’t you just shut the heck up and mind your own business.
Yes, men do look at other women and they will sometimes want you to dress a little differently when the two of you are out together. He may be lusting after your best friend, but he might also just want you to look your best so he can show you off. Consider consulting him about your outfit choices before going out. It could help spice up his fantasies about you and pull his attention back to what you are wearing instead of what your best friend has on.
11 He sends private text messages to her
It is the middle of the night and you are woken up by the tap tap tap of your boyfriend messaging someone on his phone. The next day he tells you that he was texting your best friend. “What about?” you ask him. “Just stuff,” he answers.
Okie dokie, then. On the nicer side of things, he may be extending his friendship to her because she is your best friend, but on the darker side, he really should not be texting YOUR best friend in the middle of the night. Have a talk with both of them separately and see what is going on. Explain how the secret texting makes you feel. If it continues, you may have some hard decisions to make.
10 She meets his mom before you do
Things are starting to get serious between you and your beau. The time is coming up for the big parent meet, but when you finally meet his mother you discover that she has already met your best friend. What is up with that?
It would be easy to get upset over this situation, but you need to step back and find out what is going on. It may be that he introduced your best friend first as a rehearsal before he introduces his biggest prize: you. On the other hand, he may be trying to gauge his mom’s response to both you and your friend to see which one of you she likes most. Either way, keep your eyes and ears open for other signs that he may be interested in your best friend.
9 He takes her side in a dispute
You and your best friend have always had your stupid little spouts over the dumbest things, but now your beau is getting involved. What is worse is that he is always taking her side and not yours.
Calm down. The most likely reason why he is choosing her side over yours is because he doesn’t want your friend to feel like the two of you are ganging up on her. He might also be simply enjoying getting a rise out of you and he knows that in the end you can handle it. If it really bothers you, talk to him about it and see what he has to say. He might be interested in your best friend, but he has to realize that if he continues to hurt your feelings, you are going to let him go.
8 He compares you to her, a LOT
“That’s not how Jen does it,” he says as you go to mix him a drink. The two of you were just over at Jen’s house and, while you have to admit she makes the best dirty martinis, you have your own method.
You can take this two ways, he either really likes her drinks and maybe you can ask your best friend to teach you how she does it or you can get angry. I mean, it is not only rude that he is comparing you to your friend, but if he wants his drink made in a certain way, he can get up and do it himself.
7 His phone is locked. Always
Someone has been texting him all day and your best friend’s name keeps showing up on his phone screen. Unable to resist the temptation, you pick up his phone to find out what all the fuss is about when you discover that his phone is locked.
First of all, if you are in a committed relationship with someone, phones should not be locked. It implies secrecy, and that is the last thing you want in a relationship. Your best bet here is to have a heart to heart talk with your boyfriend and find out what is going on. It may be that they are planning a surprise for you or she is getting some guy advice from a safe source. Whatever the reason, if you suspect something it is best to bring it out into the open right away.
6 They disappear at the same time
You are all hanging out at a friends house, enjoying an outside barbecue when your best friend goes into the house for something. A few moments later, your boyfriend also disappears. You go to investigate and find them both standing in the kitchen sharing a few laughs.
If you find your boyfriend disappearing with your best friend, it is time to stake your claim. Walk up to him when they are having one of their chats and wrap your arms around him. Be affectionate with him in front of your best friend so that she can clearly see that he is your man. Remind him that you love him and that you would like it if he would spend his time with you.
5 He seems nervous to be near her
Whenever you see each other or whenever you part, you and your best friend give each other a hug. Your best friend has even offered to give your beau a hug goodbye out of friendship, but he stands back with his hands clasped behind his back. While you certainly don’t want your boyfriend touching your best friend, you don’t want him acting so awkward in front of her either.
Your boyfriend may very well feel some attraction towards your best friend, but he feels awkward about it, and that is a good thing. He doesn’t want to make you feel betrayed or suspicious so he keeps his distance. Let him keep his distance and explain to your friend that he is not into the hug thing.
4 He comments and likes all her Facebook posts, as if he has subscribed to profile
At first it was kind of sweet. Your boyfriend goes out of his way to like and comment on all of your friend’s Facebook posts. He is only doing it to show you that your friends are his friends, too. Or is there something else going on here?
If your boyfriend is starting to like inappropriate pictures of your best friend, it may be time to start paying extra attention to the situation. There is a fine line between being friendly and being too friendly.
3 He looks at her when he kisses you
The three of you are hanging out on the sofa. When you lean in to kiss your boyfriend, you see it. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him looking directly at your best friend instead of you.
This action should send up all types of alarms in your head. While it could just be that he is glancing at your friend who is making silly faces as the two of you kiss, it could also be his way of signaling to her that he wishes he was kissing her instead of you.
2 He invites her over when you’re at work
You had to work late and all you want to do is get home, order a pizza, and relax with the man you love. When you get in the door, however, you see that your best friend is already there.
Before you start seeing red, think of all the reasons why your friend may already be there: she thought you were already home, he invited her over because he wanted someone to talk to, or maybe they thought you would want to hang out together when you got home. Whatever the reason may be, address it immediately and ask your friend why she is there. If she can give you a direct answer, great. If she fidgets, there might be something brewing under the surface.
1 He puts you down in front of her
“Kim doesn’t do it that way. See? She does it perfectly while yours is a complete mess.” This is the tenth time today where he has pointed out your friend’s perfection. It seems as if you can’t do anything as good as your best friend and your boyfriend is making sure you know it.
Do not put up with this situation. It could be that your boyfriend is showing your best friend that he thinks she is awesome and that he is unhappy with you. On the other hand, he could just be a regular garden variety jerk. In either case, he has got to go.