15 Celebs With IQs Lower Than A Rat's Brain

The ability to think about thinking is called metacognition, and several years ago scientists determined that rats, like humans, can make decisions based on what they do or do not know. Studies too show that rats are astonishingly self-aware, they're ticklish, and they dream just as humans do. Pet rats, are exceedingly social and form very strong bonds with their owners; they learn their names and come when they're called, and they beg for time out of their cage to play and interact with their masters.

Basically what that means is, rats are kinda smart; as a matter of fact, they are amongst the top 10 most intelligent animals on earth (along with chimps, bottlenose dolphins, elephants, African grey parrots and five others). With that said, we're pretty sure some rats out there are even smarter than some humans. Just imagine—a rat smarter than it's keeper!

The celebs in this column, frankly, are not bright. In fact, they could possibly be some of those humans that rats are actually smarter than. From extremely idiotic quotes to embarrassingly low IQ test scores, the following public figures are going to reveal to you why they make the everyday rat look like Master Splinter after the ooze.

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15 Going To College Would Be A "Step Back" For LiLo


Lindsay Lohan's IQ is quoted at under 100, based on some reports. You may not know much about IQ tests but, you do know that that's not a good thing! An under 100 score, puts Lohan in the Normal or average intelligence category (score of 90 - 109); not too shy off of the Dullness class (score of 80 - 89).

As for the above quote, yes people do go to college to find who they are as a person... though Lindsay, they mainly come to learn! So in other words, she's saying learning and educating herself would be taking a step back [or something]. Nooo, what you need to do Lindsay is step back, sit down and consort with a tutor!


14 Mariah Carey's IQ Ranks Only 6 Points Above The Dullness Classification

Pop Crush

Really? Who in they right mind thinks, "Man, I'd love to be skinny like that.." when they are watching children-starving-to-death-in-Africa infomercials!? Bwahaha, nobody but Mariah damn Carey. A normal person when watching those may think, "Aww man, dats messed up."; or, "$0.20 a day huh? Mm hmm, nah don't think so. These people ain't ripping me off." You know, typical stuff like that—not, "Oh darling how I envy the scrawny, malnourished frames on these famished kids."

IQ estimates Carey have a wide range, but the most accurate estimates place her at about 95; which puts her 6 points above the Dullness classification (90 - 109 - Normal or average intelligence; 80 - 89 - Dullness; 70 - 79 - Borderline deficiency). Yikes Mariah, that was a close one.


13 That's Right Kim, Worse Than World Hunger, Climate Change, Etc.


Kim, Kim, Kim...always on our list(s). Well with quotes like the one above, you're damn right she's gonna make this list! Bwahaha. Between acquired immune deficiency syndrome, Trump in the Oval Office, North Korea tripping as usual and the quickly depleting ozone layer, we think women wearing the wrong foundation color is by the far the 5th worst thing on the planet.

Raise your hand if you agree? If you raised your hand, please, turn that same hand around and smack yourself hard across the face! Ha ha. Eh this is the woman that said, "The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV." Really like, who's makes a [big] picnic in their BED! Kim K, that's who..


12 Jessica Simpson Gets Chillbumps Everybody, Not Goosebumps...


In 2012, Jessica Simpson tweeted out to the world: "DALLAS!!!! This is how we do it!! Soooooo proud! I have chillbumps!" Okay that's not as bad as, "Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it… it says 'Chicken... by the Sea'." but it's still pretty darn bad! Can somebody tell us, what chillbumps are? We'll give you $50 if you can do so, lol (no we won't but, still).

Nonetheless, we all know that Simpson is 'bout as bright as a city blackout. C'mon, we're talking about the same individual that said: "I think there's a difference between ditzy and dumb. Dumb is just not knowing. Ditzy is having the courage to ask!" Umm what does that even mean!? We could of swore ditzy meant silly or scatterbrained, but'uh..

E! Online

11 Clearly, 5th Grade Geography Is Asking Too Much Of Britney Spears


Forget the quote — just focus on Britney's face for a second. You see what we see? Ha ha ha! Yes, imbecility at it's finest. Now, to the quote. Clearly, geography was not Britney Spears' strong suit in school. Eh, even pre-schoolers know that Japan is NOT in Africa; as a matter of fact, Japan is 11,806 km (7,335.9083 miles) away from Africa!

Potentially, we may have deemed the above quote a 'blonde moment' on Spears' part; however, look at the quote below. Really though Brit—Canada, an overseas place!? ROTF! We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried. We just wonder, who are Britney's public relations (PR) people? Whoever they are, they're not doing a bang-up job in regards to regulating Spears' comments to the press.

Classic ATRL

10 R. Kelly Compares Himself To The Most Notorious Terrorist Ever


So, let's get this straight. Osama Bin Laden (who's now deceased) is the ONLY one who knew what R. Kelly was going through at the time (between 1996-2002)? Hmm alright, let's compare shall we.

Osama Bin Laden: was the founder of al-Qaeda, the organization that was responsible for the September 11, 2001 attacks on the United States. Robert "R." Kelly: (from the period 1996 to 2002) allegedly had intimate relationships with 4 minors; supposedly impregnated one of the teenagers over the course of their 9-month relationship, then paid her to have an abortion; as well as urinating on another teen in a home video.

Maybe we're oblivious to the similarity between the two men, but—we don't see a damn thing in common between R. Kelly and Osama Bin Laden! Well actually, we'll take that back; they're both obviously nuts. And, R. Kelly is in the papers RIGHT NOW facing fresh allegations for relations with underage women and physical abuse. So that clearly goes to show you, Kelly is without much intelligence.


9 Sad That Tom Cruise's Average IQ Score Still Has Him In Scientology


Wow, who would of ever believed that Tom Cruise has such a drab IQ? Apparently, the IQ test does! Mr. Cruise's IQ score clocked in at around 94. The Church of Scientology certainly would have derided anyone who would avow such a thing about their most beloved member. Well, it wouldn't be a first; how about that one time a French film director called Cruise “dumb as a cigar” ... ha ha ha!

Cruise, too, really doesn't help his cause with quotes like the one up top. What does he mean by that anyway, "..because you know you're the only one that can really help."? Is he trying to saying that Scientologists are superheroes or mutants—like does Professor X lead The Church of Scientology or something!? Tommy Boy, you'se a wild one, no doubt.


8 Luckily, Tito Ortiz Chose A Career Where He Uses His Hands Instead Of His Head

AZ Quotes

Perhaps it's not smart to put a guy on a 'not smart' list that can kick the ever living s**t out of you, but...we're going for it anyway! Retired mixed martial artist and former MMA Light Heavyweight champion of the word, Tito Ortiz, does the contrary and uses his hands rather than his head. In his case though, that's a good thing; for Ortiz merely possesses an IQ of 90.

"What does that mean?", you ask. Simply put, that means Ortiz is so dumb, that he stuck his phone up his rectum and thought he was makin' a booty call.? Hold up wait, no—it means that Ortiz is so stupid, he stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate." HA HA!! Okay that's it, I'm out of here before this dude comes looking for me.


7 OJ Simpson Scored In The Dullness Range And Still Managed To Get Acquitted Despite Saying This:

Why We Protest

Oh wow, no it's all starting to make sense. So THAT'S why OJ Simpson left hair, fiber, blood, glove, AND shoe evidence at both murder crime scenes (at Nicole Simpson's house and his own home) and in his own vehicle... he has an IQ of only 89!

Nah let us stop; Simpson was found innocent of the homicides, therefore we'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Nevertheless, when you publicly state, "If I did it, I probably only killed them a little bit" RIGHT after you beat a double-murder wrap—then it definitely confirms that your IQ is 89, fo' shizzle. On top of that, Simpson STILL ended up doing more than 10 years in prison after being acquitted. Man, now that's lower than a rat's brain right there.


6 Either Tori Spelling Is An Alien Or The Dumbest Person On Earth

OK! Magazine

Three things we unquestionably know: 1) If you don't drink water, you die, 2) If you don't sweat, you die, and 3) Tori Spelling is a buffoon for saying this! Okay, we can get with the "I hate water" part; for many people do not care for the insipid taste of H2o—however the other stuff, nah she loses all points for that!

In reality, we're not super shocked though this brainless statement came out of Spelling's mouth. This IS the person that is like obsessed with Liv Tyler — "I look at Liv Tyler and think 'It's not fair', because I can't find a flaw on her. And on top of that she seems nice, so it's really not fair.", says Tori. Makes sense that the actress has an IQ of about 85 (Dullness).


5 With An IQ Of 85, Chris Brown Has A Dull Brain AND Heart


Are you serious right now? Did Chris Brown forget he was once involved in a major controversy involving his ex, Rihanna, and as a result of that controversy his name was dragged through the mud and his music career almost ended after being labeled a desensitized woman beater? In reality, Brown may have forgotten all of that actually—for his IQ score is nothing short of 85.

That places the "Five More Hours" singer in the Dullness department (score of 80 - 89). What does the word 'dullness' mean anyway? It's defined as: the quality of being slow to understand; without sharpness. Well, sharpness means acuteness (a quick and penetrating intelligence); therefore, the test is dead-on-b@lls accurate when it comes to Brown being without sharpness!


4 Scoring In The Borderline Deficient IQ Category, Thank Goodness David Hasselhoff Was Only A Fake Lifeguard


Perhaps the most boneheaded celebrity in all of Hollywood, is Knight Rider's own David Hasselhoff. No, that actuality is not determined by the above quote; but, by an IQ test. Hasselhoff's IQ, is in the low range of 73-78.

That rating, places Hasselhoff in the Borderline deficiency column (scores between 70 - 79). We know EXACTLY what you are thinking... how in the world does someone that dim-witted, end up a world-renowned celebrity with a net worth of $110 million!? If we had the answer to that question, we're sure we could cure untreatable viruses and diseases. Makes you think, maybe they're right when they say, "sometimes, it's better to be lucky than good" — because David Hasselhoff has to be the luckiest son of a [bleep] to have ever been pushed out of a human va-jay-jay! #FactsOnly


3 Tila Tequila Feels Compassionate Towards Hitler...Need We Say More?


? We know you didn't say that Tila — haaaaaaaaa! Not even Klara felt sympathy, compassion and forgiveness for Adolf [Hitler] ... and that's her own son!

Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen, better known by her stage names Tila Tequila, Tila Nguyen and Miss Tila, graduated from Alief Hastings High School in 2000; surprising to us, as Tequila on several occasions has emphatically expressed that she strongly feels that earth is flat! She had to have failed a lot of tests in school. Perchance, but we'll tell you one test she didn't score well on: her IQ test! Tequila tallied in a meager 90. One less point, would have put her in the Dullness categorization (score of 80 - 89); though considering the bottom gif, we're thinking Tequila's more in the Feeble-mindedness range (score under 70)!


2 Nicki Minaj Should Consider Paying For Her Own Tuition Instead Of Her Fans'

That Grape Juice

There was actually an article published in 2011 with the headline, "Nicki Minaj Has "Little G@y Boy" Living Inside Her". No joke, it seriously says that. The write-up went on to read: "Nicki Minaj has confessed that she has "a little g@y boy" living inside her.." Okay, maybe you can help us out on this one. We know slang changes continuously and phrases get funkier & funkier all the time, but ... WHAT IN THE HECK DOES THIS MEAN!??

L-m-f-b-o sorry, wigged out for a minute. That's not even the half of it though. Get this, Minaj... even has a name for the lil' g@y boy inside of her; it's name is Roman Zolanski!! Yes, when Ro Ro comes up things turn up real quick. "[He's] bad. That's why I like Roman. He's a lunatic and he's g@y.", Minaj said in reference to her alter ego. This is about the dumbest [bleep] we have ever heard. Hmm well, she did say once: “Quack quack to a duck and a chicken too / Put the hyena in a freakin’ zoo!” so—we don't know, we'll let you sort it out!


1 Gucci Store Reincarnation For Mr. West Please


Kanye you didn't say that, nah ... Ha ha ha! Wow, was/is he serious? Most folks if they wake up on a flight and they see a bottle of water next to them they'd think, "Where'd this come from? Okay, cool!" — not, "Oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle"! He acting like someone left a baby on his doorstep—"Great now I gotta be responsible for this.", rotf!

No matter what, we love Ye; because he speaks from the heart. Sometimes it may not make much sense, but still—he comes from the heart. Like when he said, "My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live." Right ... LOL!



Source: StarCrush, Cracked, Popcrush, List 25

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