You know the feeling you get when you meet someone that you’re really digging? After just one date, you’re already mentally mapping out your entire relationship with this complete stranger, and your BFF and your mom already know all the juicy deets about this potential love interest. You just know he’s going to call you for a second date. As a matter of fact, you already have your date night outfit picked out and ready to go (leather mini, lace-up suede sandals, and a white bodysuit, of course!) But 24 hours after your “amazing” first date, you still haven’t heard back from the guy. One day turns into two days, two days turn into three…and, well, you know where this is going right? Even though you think you just found your soulmate, he obviously didn’t feel the same way.
A bunch of different reasons start to flood your mind as to why you he didn’t call you back. Did he fall off a bridge? Did he drop his phone in the toilet? Did he get abducted by aliens? You may never know the truth, but we’ve broken down the 15 most common reasons why a guy goes poof and never calls back.
15 He's Not Over His Ex
Unfortunately, many people go on dates solely to get over their exes. This isn’t fair to the new person in their life, but hey, it happens. If you have an amazing first date with a guy, and then you never hear from him again, perhaps it’s because his heart still belongs to someone else. Depending on how long ago his last relationship ended, he could still be dealing with the hurt and pain of watching things crash and burn. Thankfully, this reason has absolutely nothing to do with you. You’re still the most amazing woman in town, and any guy would be lucky to have you on his arms. It just sucks that you happened to meet someone who wasn’t open to taking things further. He may contact you at a later time when his wounds have healed, but I bet he will be a distant memory to you at that point.
14 Work Got Busy
As we become adults, we realize that life is all about work. Our jobs are where we spend the majority of our time, and building our careers becomes one of our top priorities. Depending on the field your date is in, his work could definitely be causing some stress that has trickled down into his dating life. Maybe he had a big presentation that he needed to give all his attention to, or his crappy relationship with his boss is really doing a number on his psyche. They say that if a guy really wants to be with you, he’ll find the time. Even President Obama finds time to make his relationship with the First Lady work, so your guy has no excuse, right? But if you have only been on one date, don’t expect this guy to put his work obligations on the back burner. Sadly, this means you’ve been kicked to the curb. Work comes first, and his bills aren’t going to pay themselves!
13 He Lost His Phone
I know, I know. This is probably one of the lamest excuses ever. Like, really, who actually loses their phone these days? Everyone literally has their cell phone attached to their hand at all times - never letting it leave their sight. But it definitely is possible that your guy lost his phone…and all of his contacts…including your phone number. The downside to this excuse is that there are so many ways for him to still get in touch with you if he really did lose his phone. He could email you, hit you up on Facebook, or send you a tweet. So losing his phone really isn’t too good of an excuse these days. But, hey, it’s still totally possible. You could try reaching out to him by sending a casual text. If he responds, you’re good to go! If he ignores you, he’s just not that into you. It’s time to move on to the next one!
12 He Knows You Want a Relationship
You heard wedding bells ringing the moment he greeted you at the romantic little bistro around the corner from your house. It’s just too bad the only thing he heard was the potential moans that would escape from your lips the second he got you into his bedroom. Some men aren’t open to being in a relationship, but they will still date around to get the emotional and physical intimacy that human beings crave. If you came off a little too eager for a relationship on the first date, and he sensed that you would want a major commitment from him before he’s ready to jump into a relationship, he may have backed off as to not lead you on. Thank him for doing you a favor, because you probably would’ve ended up getting really hurt in the long run. To avoid this problem in the future, make sure to let guys know exactly what you’re looking for prior to going out on a first date. This will eliminate any kind of awkwardness or questions about your desires to be in a committed relationship.
11 You're Not His Type
In the online dating world, meeting up for the first time can turn into a complete disaster, especially since many people use old and outdated photos on their profile. You may be the perfect catch on paper, but after meeting face-to-face, your date could have realized that you are simply not his type. Maybe it was the way you dressed, the amount of makeup you wore, or an acne breakout that caused him to gag. Who really knows. Either way, something just wasn’t clicking with your attitude or appearance that made him delete your contact information from his cell phone. And unfortunately, there’s really no way to make him change his mind. To combat this problem, always make sure to display your true self on your online dating profile. Take new pictures that depict who you are and what you look like today - not what you looked like back in 2005 when you weighed twenty pounds less.
10 He Already Got the Goods
If you want to get hot and heavy after the first date (or before your appetizer even arrives,) go right on ahead, sister. I’m definitely not judging what you do with your body. As a matter of fact, I’ve already discussed the reasons why you shouldn’t make your guy wait to have sex. But getting hot and heavy without any expectations is hard for most women to do, and if you’re expecting a guy to fall in love with you just because you gave him a lustful night to remember, you’re sadly mistaken. Some men (or shall we call them jerks?) will think negatively about a woman who gives up the goods on the first date. Of course, that trick you did when you placed one foot on the headboard and the other on the nightstand really drove him wild, but he’s looking for a woman who makes him work a little harder before giving him a taste of her secret garden. He may call you back at some point when he’s desperate and feeling frisky, but don’t count on it.
9 You Triggered Something
Sometimes during a first date, you can do or say something that really triggers something for your date. Perhaps the way you laugh reminds him of his annoying Aunt Patty, or your picky preference in food really gives him flashbacks from a horrible dating experience he had with a vegan girl who would always scold him about his food choices. So instead of having to deal with these triggers on a second date, he decides to never ever call you again. If you bring up a bad memory for a guy, or you remind him of someone he cannot stand, there’s just no way you’re going to be able to come back from that. He has already made up his mind that he never wants to see you again. You won’t be seeing his name pop up on your caller ID anytime soon. He has probably already moved on, and you should too.
8 It's Just Bad Timing
In case you haven’t noticed, timing is everything when it comes to relationships. Have you ever dated a guy for a few months, and things went horribly wrong so you went your separate ways? Six months later, he meets another woman, and they get engaged and walk down the aisle after just two months of dating? It’s likely that when he met you, it wasn’t the right time in his life for him to give his all in a relationship, but a few months later, he was more than willing to give it a go with someone else. Even though you think your first date with your new love interest was amazing, if the timing just isn’t right, there’s nothing you can do or say to make him hit you up for a second date. It’s time to get back out in the dating world, and find someone else who is open and willing to give you exactly what you’re looking for.
7 He Wants You to Chase Him
As women, we’re used to being chased, right? Guys are relentless when they’re after a woman they can see themselves being with. But some men are just plain lazy. And instead of doing the chasing, they want to be chased. In these types of relationships, you are the one who has to do all of the work. Because he asked you out on a first date, perhaps he’s waiting for you to ask him out for date #2. If you’re not comfortable taking the lead so early on in a relationship, this situation will definitely crash and burn. But if you’re okay with taking the reigns and planning something for the two of you to do together, open up the lines of communication by reaching out and giving him a call. But don’t make a habit out of chasing him. He needs to put in an equal amount of work if you want this type of relationship to be successful.
6 He Doesn't Want to Lead You On
Many of us have been taught to believe that most men are evil creatures who will lead women on, feed them lies, and they will always head for the hills as soon as things start to get serious. But this really isn’t the case. Some men approach dating like women do. If they don’t feel like you’re the right girl for them, they won’t bother leading you on by asking you out for a second date. Maybe he could have communicated this to you by letting you know that he didn’t see a future for the two of you, but take his silence as more than enough confirmation that he’s really not feeling you as much as you thought. You don’t want to waste your time waiting by the phone for a guy who’s lukewarm about you, right? Stop waiting for that phone call because it’s never going to come.
5 You're Too Much Work
You are still waiting by the phone for him to call you back, but it is not going to happen because he thinks you’re just way too much work. Who knows, maybe you came across as really high-maintenance, or perhaps he got the impression that you would be a really needy girlfriend who needed his undivided attention 24/7. Either way, he’s just not ready nor willing to put in any kind of effort to make a relationship between the two of you work. But this doesn’t mean you should change who you are in order to attract a man and get him to call you back. Just continue to be the high-maintenance princess that you are. Eventually, a guy will come into your life who loves a high-maintenance girl. He will be the one to constantly text you and call you because he loves you just the way you are!
4 You're Annoying
Your friends think you are a riot, and everyone at your job loves you, but the guy who never called you back? He thinks you just might be the most annoying person he has ever met! You insisted on posting Snapchat stories throughout your entire dinner date, you answered a phone call from your BFF when the two of you were mid-convo, and he cringed every time you started twirling your platinum blonde extensions around your finger. He gave you a courtesy laugh every time you told one of your lame jokes, but he was counting down the minutes until he could bail on you. He barely made it through the first date, but he was trying to be polite and make the best of a crappy situation. And when it comes to setting up a second date, forget about it. You won’t be hearing from this guy ever again!
3 You're His Plan B
If you think he doesn’t have options, think again, sister. He may have really liked you and enjoyed spending time with you on your first date, but you are not in the running for the number one spot in his life just yet. Instead, you’ve been placed into his “plan b” slot. If things with his plan A move from “casual” to “in a relationship,” you’ll probably never hear from him again. But if plan A starts getting all clingy and weird, he’ll definitely be shooting you a “hey, stranger” text message in about a month or two. This is why you should definitely keep your options open when it comes to dating, and don’t close yourself off to meeting people after one awesome date with a potential love interest. You never know how many women he has on the back burner just waiting for their time to become his number one option.
2 It Was Something You Said
I’m not trying to bash you for being yourself, but it’s possible that you said something during your date that really rubbed him the wrong way. Maybe the two of you got on the topic of religion, and you said something that contradicts his beliefs. Or, maybe you told him you’re a Democrat, but he votes Republican, or perhaps you let it slip out that you want to have twin baby girls and name them Mia and Tia. Or what if, or what if, or what if?! The possibilities are endless here! The fact is, you may never really know what struck a nerve with this guy, but his silence is enough to tell you that it was definitely something you said that really turned him off. He doesn’t have any plans on ever speaking to you again, so just do yourself a favor and finally delete his number, okay?
1 He Doesn't Feel a Spark
When women date, we don’t always feel a connection after the first meeting. It may take a few dates, or even a few months to really feel a spark, but we don’t always write-off a potential love interest right away. But when it comes to men, they want to see fireworks within the first 2.5 seconds of meeting you. If you don’t knock his socks off and leave him all hot and bothered after the first date, you probably won’t be hearing from him ever again. You had your one shot, and you didn’t blow him away unfortunately. But it’s his loss, right? Don’t beat yourself up over it. You need to just realize that not everyone will feel a spark when they meet you. So keep on searching for the right guy who gets a knot in his throat and butterflies in his stomach every time he sees you, and stop waiting for a phone call from a guy who just isn’t that into you.