Bedroom Fun: 15 Bizarre Facts Of What Goes On With You

Let’s be honest, getting physical is an important part of our existence. Without it, we literally wouldn’t be here. However, as a whole, Americans still seem to be much more prudish about this natural part of life than our European counterparts. Baring it all is not allowed on our regular television channels and you’d be hard-pressed to find someone in their birthday suit at a Southern California beach. We go to great lengths to ensure nothing “inappropriate” is seen by the masses, even though we all know what things look like. Sure, maybe we don’t want to flaunt our assets for the youngsters out there, but why does this part of life make us so uncomfortable? Because we don't understand a thing about it. This doesn’t mean we should start taking what we do in the bedroom out to the street, just that it isn’t necessary to pretend like we all aren’t doing it.

Why do human beings shy away from anything, or fear something? Because of our lack of understanding on the subject. And it is no different when talking about intimacy. We know that we like it and that if we’re not careful it could have negative side effects like a disease or a child (yes, a baby can also be a positive side effect, I know.) After all the act's primary function is to carry on the human race yet if you asked me a question about my reproductive organs I can almost guarantee you I wouldn’t have an answer. So many people (mainly men) claim to be experts or masters on the topic. Doubt it, at least from my experiences. Not only do we not really understand all the things that are taking place down there, but we don’t want to stop what we are doing right at that moment to figure it out. Takes the passion out. Well keep reading to learn about just a few of the weird facts you didn’t know about.

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15 Nose swells

Just like “other” parts of the body will swell when you're excited, the nostrils can swell as well due to increased blood flow. Typically it’s only a slight enlargement, hardly noticeable unless you were really looking for it; how freaky would it be if your nose swelled to cover half your face during the deed? Maybe we wouldn’t want it as much? Besides, if couples look at each other at all during the act, it’s typically to gaze into each other’s eyes lovingly, not to check out how big your schnoz has gotten. Can you imagine if you were sleeping with someone for the first time and they pointed out how much larger your nostrils got, all while things were in strategic places? Talk about getting a weird complex and trying to hide your nose whenever intimate. This is one of those little pieces of information that I’ll just choose to believe, without doing any in-the-field research myself.

14 Burn Those Calories

We can all remember a time that we collapsed on our beds after a particularly enthusiastic performance and have thought to ourselves, “now that’s a good workout!” Well, now we can answer just how many calories this activity eats up. The average physical encounter burns about 100 to 120 calories a session for men. It only burns about 70 calories for women. Of course, different acts and positions burn more calories than others so here’s a good excuse to mix things up in the bedroom. It’s all for your health, right? Of course the longer the little bedroom romp lasts, the more calories that are burned. Thinking about forgoing that diet and replacing it with one bedroom act a day? You might want to think again if you’re trying to shed the pounds, as this alone does not burn enough calories to stay fit. It sure is a good place to start though.

13 Pain Threshold Increases

When we are doing the deed our body targets blood flow to certain areas and sort of tunes out the rest. Certain pleasure hormones are secreted so even if we bump our head or get a rug burn, we don’t really pay attention to it at the moment. Ever lay back in excitement only to realize your elbow is throbbing? Or discover some bruises in unusual places and wonder how that happened? Our pain threshold increases and while many people take this to mean someone “likes it rough” it's actually because your tolerance has increased so much that you need to induce more “pain” for the body to react how it normally would. This seems to be a good thing, but it’s also reported that many people get pretty substantial injuries while with their partners and don’t realize it until after. 50 Shades of Grey makes a little more sense now.

12 From 0 to 60 in Ten Seconds

We’ve put all of our technological advances to good use; we’ve gathered some useful information that is vital to the continued existence of the human race…or we had fun and answered some irrelevant questions. Studies have now discovered the average time it takes for a man to get a visually excited. I know, for years this unanswered question has been haunting you. Well now you can rest easy because the results are in! For men under the age of 40, it was determined that it takes approximately ten seconds to go from a normal everyday stage to full pledge ready to rock. Side note, I’d like to know exactly how this study was conducted and how the participants were compensated. This seems remarkably fast, I must say I’m a little perturbed to know that a man is ready to perform literally at the drop of a hat. Is a man ready to do anything else within ten seconds? Doubt it.

11 Spinal Cord Calls The Shots

We pride ourselves on our ability to make decisions intellectually and maintain we are in control. That’s all an illusion when it comes to bedroom fun. Yes, we should be able to control our urges in terms of not sleeping with every person we meet, but did you know that the spinal cord actually sends a man the order to finish, not the brain? And it’s not so much of an order really, so much as a response to stimuli. When you think about it, it makes sense. If a man was in a hurry and wanted to finish, he could just decide on that course of action, get his brain to send the order down, and boom, all taken care of. In this case, the brain has to take a backseat and hand the controls over to feeling. There are some things that even logic can’t decide and must instead be determined by feeling.

10 A Female Ferret Will Die If She Goes A Year Without It

Here is a scary thought: there are female species out there that will literally die if they do not have physical activity with a partner for over a year. Thank goodness that only applies to ferrets and not to women, even though I’m pretty sure we would all be in agreement that death would be preferable to continued abstinence; even the women who are abstinent by choice must bet getting a little antsy approaching a year. Female ferrets excrete very high levels of estrogen and that builds up over time. If the act of doing it and pregnancy don’t help get rid of some of that estrogen, then it stays in the bloodstream, leading to the depression of bone marrow. That may not seem like it would have such disastrous effects but decreased bone marrow will eventually result in aplastic anemia which is fatal. Let’s all take a moment to appreciate the fact that we won’t die from a lack of physical activity.

9 Shades Of Dark

When we are very excited blood flow is directed to certain areas of the body, like your chest. The increased blood flow can result in a darkening of the skin of that area, so next time you’re having a little romp in the hay, take a quick peek and see if they have their usual coloring. You’d be surprised how much they can change over the course of one interaction. That doesn’t apply to just the areola either, so feel free to give yourself and your partner a quick once over to see this strange occurrence for yourself. When all is said and done and blood flow returns to normal, so should the coloring. Many people are surprised to find this little tid bit to be true, because who is really going to pay close attention to the color of the skin while in the act? There are much more important things to be focusing on.

8 Bladder on Hold

Isn’t it strange that we are able to unconsciously shut off certain body functions during bedroom fun, like having to go to the bathroom? Good thing too because we already have so many other things our mind is occupied with, it’d be a shame to add bladder control to that too. When a woman reaches the end, an antidiuretic is released, so we basically don’t pee at that prime moment. That can however mean it is a bit more difficult to urinate immediately after. You may have to wait a few minutes for your body to gather itself before you’re able to let it flow, and let it flow you must, as gross as it is, it’s a great way to help flush things out and keep you healthy. We all know what happens when you don’t pee after finishing, and it ain’t pretty. Better to avoid that pain altogether and just sit on the toilet for a few minutes, while you wait to regain control over your body.

7 The Big Finish

Okay, what’s better, easy to achieve but lasts for a short time or harder to get there but lasts for much longer? I guess we’ll never really be sure because it is difficult to have an educated opinion pulled from experience on both scenarios. There is one thing we can agree on, no matter the length, it feels pretty awesome. Okay, breaking this down we can find that on average, men can reach their climax in a considerably shorter amount of time than a woman can, but the “typical” male ending lasts about six seconds. It seems to take a little more time for a woman to get to that point, but when she does, the sensation lasts for about twenty seconds, with some women experiencing closer to thirty. It’s much more of a full body, lasting release. Let’s all band together to figure out the shortcut to this twenty seconds.

6 Hormone Levels Are Down

Here’s an interesting little piece of information for the men out there, male testosterone levels are lower than what they used to be, and are on a steady decline. Not only testosterone, but swimmer count. Don’t get it twisted, men still have a ridiculous amount of swimmers and are in theory able to impregnate every woman in the world, but for some reason, a 25-year-old man does not have the same amount of testosterone or swimmer count that a 25-year-old male had 15 years ago. These numbers actually seem to be a steady decline and could eventually affect not only our men’s fertility but their drive; many many many years in the future. However, it is an interesting fact and has left us wondering why these levels are down and what changes need to be made to ensure the steady decline doesn’t continue to a dangerously low level.

5 Seven Blue Tablets Are Sold Every Second

Is anyone surprised by this at all? Didn’t think so. The blue pill wasn’t really invented to help the plight of women, it’s more for men to continue to feel like men. Nobody is fooled into thinking it’s all for us, women can take care of themselves just fine, and typically a lot faster than a man can. With all the incurable cancers out there, it’s so great that we’ve spent time, money, and research to ensure that an old man can still get it up. Yes, of course, there are impotency problems with younger men that we should be sensitive to, but I still don’t think that making sure a man can get lucky should be high on America’s priority list. Is there a pill to ensure a big finish for women, because I think it’s high time to divert our resources over to that department, write your local congressman today! Whoever invents this will make a killing.

4 Function of the Female Finish Line

Believe it or not the human body was not designed specifically for our pleasure. All the crazy things that happen actually serve very specific functions that have helped to ensure our survival throughout the years. Take for example, the female completion. Many people have wondered it’s purpose, other than just feeling good. When a woman reaches the end, the pulsating motion of her downstair walls help to push the swimmers towards the uterus and cervix. The spasming action grabs the little guys and essentially gives the swimmers a little push in the right direction, so if you’re looking to get pregnant, stop faking it and put your man to work. Of course, there are many other factors at work here but couples did report getting pregnant faster when the woman finishes than couples who were done when the man was. Maybe it's just one elaborate excuse? Get to it men, after all, it’s all for the good of the family, right?

3 Faster Than A Speeding Bullet

Well, not really, that would just be dangerous. Scientists were able to measure the initial spurt of a man’s liquid, and it was clocked in at around 28 miles per hour. Bet they never thought they’d be putting their degree to use in that way. Again, I’d really like to know how these experiments are conducted and how willing participants are found. Do these guys just come up with ways to entertain themselves on a long lunch break? Of course, the speed is due to the build up and release of swimmers, and to ensure those guys are given a fighting chance. Shooting them through your lady garden is key, best to give them a head start by launching them up there! Our bodies (and brains) are wired to produce children and with all the forces at work to ensure that happens, it’s kind of amazing that not every woman in the world is currently pregnant.

2 You Probably Have Something

By something we mean HPV but really just a form of it. Now if you weren’t already freaked out by the alarming amount of STIs that are out there, think about this little fact the next time you’re cuddling up next to a stranger at the bar around closing time. Over two-thirds of all healthy Americans are infected with at least one strain of the human papilloma virus. Yep, it is highly likely that you’ve got an STI just lying dormant inside you. It is important to note that not all of the HPV strains lead to cancer and most of the ones we are all carrying around are relatively “harmless”. If you tend to pick and choose those times when you deem protection necessary, I’d start slapping one on a little more often. Of the two-thirds of the population that is infected, at least some of those are bound to have a pretty terrible strain that isn’t easy to fight off.

1 The Female Garden Is An Accommodating Lady

She truly is. Did you know that on average a woman’s lady garden is about three inches long? Probably not, why would you. Three inches doesn’t leave much room for the good stuff though. It is designed in such a way that when excited, it can actually expand. When it receives those signals, your box actually pulls upward, extending itself about two more inches, to give your partner around five inches of room. It can also expand slightly more to make way for more well-endowed partners, but since the average length of a man is around this measurement, it is usually plenty of room. We women are so accommodating, aren’t we? It’s easy to take for granted the wonders of the human body and hopefully now you’ll be a little more aware of all the things it is doing to not only to keep the human race alive, but to provide you with some pleasure every now and then!

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