In the beginning stages of a relationship, you and your partner are clouded by all of the euphoria and the giddiness you feel from being in a new relationship. Everything he does is so adorable, and vice versa. But when the newness of a relationship wears off, you start to see your partner’s true colors. The things that he once did may not be so cute after all, and he may start looking at you in a different light, as well.
When it comes to dating and relationships, we all live by our own set of rules. But what you may think is acceptable behavior can actually be pushing your man away. As much as he wants to be in a relationship with you, jumping ship and reclaiming his single status is starting to look like a better option.
If you’ve ever committed any of these things in your relationship, just know you could be making it easier for him to work up the nerve to finally dump you. So if your relationship means that much to you, keep reading to see the 15 things that you’re probably doing that will push him away for good.
15 Chasing Him
Most men know that if they want to get a woman all to themselves, they have to do a little bit of chasing at first. But once he catches you in his web, he doesn’t want to have to chase you forever. When the two of you become comfortable in your relationship, it’s normal for your partner to get more relaxed. He may not ask you out on formal dates anymore, he may not call you every single day, and a few text messages may go unanswered. It’s not that he’s no longer interested in you, it’s just that he feels secure in the relationship.
When a guy stops chasing, women instinctively believe that they need to ramp things up by switching roles. If you feel like your guy’s new relaxed attitude means he’s no longer interested, you may start chasing him in return, and this is a recipe for disaster. When you start to pursue him, it could become annoying and it may make him back away even further from you.
If you feel like the energy in your relationship has shifted, just know that various ebbs and flows in a relationship are normal, and you could just be making a mountain out of a molehill.
14 Acting Desperate
You already know that acting all desperate is a turn off, so why do you do it? Men take desperation as sign of low self-esteem, and there is nothing sexy about a woman who’s giving off this type of vibe. Desperation in a relationship can rear its ugly head in various ways. You could be pushing to make the relationship more serious than what he’s ready for, or you could be allowing him to get away with bad behavior because subconsciously you don’t think you can’t do any better than him. These are all things that will make any man take a step back and reevaluate the relationship.
If you catch yourself acting desperate, it’s best to nip it in the bud immediately. If you can figure out what is triggering you to act so desperately, it will be easier to correct this situation.
Boost your self-esteem by understanding that you’re the prize, and acting desperate diminishes your value.
13 Questioning Him
During our childhoods, we all had to answer to someone - whether it be a parent, a grandparent or a school teacher. When we reach adulthood, one of the most exciting parts about being on your own is not having to answer to anyone.
But when it comes to relationships, many woman don’t understand how much men hate to be questioned. It takes them back to their childhood, it makes them feel like a kid, and it can really skew the dynamics of your relationship. Do you want to be his mom or his girlfriend? You can’t have it both ways!
When you question him, you’re not only annoying him, but you’re probably causing him to have second thoughts about you and the relationship. No guy would ever sign up for a life of being questioned about where he’s going, who he’s with, what time he’ll be home and what he ate for dinner.
12 Moving Too Fast
What’s the rush? Do you think that if you don’t tell him you love him after two weeks that he will move on to someone else? Moving too fast in a relationship will always spell doom, and if you try to pressure your partner to solidify things before he’s ready, it could really push him away for good.
Every relationship has it’s own natural flow, and some move faster than others. But if you’re trying to convince your man to move in together when he’s not ready to take your relationship to that level, it will definitely cause some problems.
If you’re the one who’s always trying to take things to the next level, there’s a chance you’re definitely moving too fast. To avoid this, allow your partner to take the lead. This doesn’t mean you should sit around and wait for him to make all of the decision regarding your relationship though. You can throw subtle hints about the changes you would like to see without scaring him off.
Instead of asking, “Do you want to get an apartment together?” You can rephrase your statement to, “What are your thoughts about co-habitation?” You will come across less threatening, and you’ll be less likely to freak him out.
11 Lack of Trust
When you don’t trust your partner, it can really do a number on your relationship. Every time he goes out with the guys, you’ll wonder what he’s doing and if he’s talking to other girls. Your lack of trust may also make you act erratically, and you may even snoop through his phone and his belongings to catch him doing something wrong. Even if he’s not doing anything to betray your trust, your mind will lead you to believe that he’s cheating or behaving inappropriately. Soon enough, this lack of trust will wreck havoc on your relationship.
If your guy is indeed being truthful and honest with you, not trusting him will definitely push him over the edge. No one likes to be accused of doing things that they’re not even doing. He will soon start to believe that maybe being single is a better option.
If he’s never given you a reason not to trust him, you’re definitely going to blow it by acting out in this way.
10 Not Speaking Up
Men want a woman who can hold her own, someone who isn’t afraid to speak up, and someone who will put them in their place when needed. Learning how to voice your concerns and your opinions in a respectful way shows him that you have your boundaries, and anyone who crosses them will have hell to pay.
In relationships it’s sometimes hard to learn how to say “no.” Of course, you want to make your partner happy, but giving in to his every wish and desire will do more harm than good to your relationship. You’ll eventually lose yourself as you try your hardest to make sure he’s happy and content with the way things are going. But a relationship is about two people, and if your needs aren’t being met, you may start to resent him. Once resentment sets in, it’s a wrap. Game over.
It’s time for you to speak up and say something. Learning how to value yourself and say what’s on your mind will make him respect you even more. If you don’t respect yourself and your own boundaries, how do you expect him to do the same?
9 Overthinking Everything
What is he thinking? Does he still feel the same way about me? Why did he cancel our last date? Did I do something wrong?
Want to know the quickest way to kill your relationship? By overanalyze and overthink everything. Overthinking can be defined as wondering why he didn’t put a kissy face emoji at the end of his text message, analyzing every single detail of your last conversation, and constantly thinking about him and your relationship 24/7. When you think too much, you start to question things in your own mind. And soon enough, you start to verbalize all of your thoughts and worries to your partner.
The more you overthink you relationship, the more it will push him away, and you will probably start to act out in ways that will annoy him. Instead, just try to live in the moment, and take your relationship one day at a time. Trust your instincts and listen to your intuition. If something feels off, bring it up to him. If he tells you everything is okay, believe him and move on. Life is too short to spend every moment worrying about your relationship!
8 Withholding Affection
Everyone has different levels of affection that they’re comfortable with. Some men tend to shy away from PDA, while others are practically shoving their tongue down your throat while the two of you wait in line at the grocery store. If your relationship started off with a lot of heavy petting and random hugs and kisses for no reason at all, and now you’ve slowly changed the amount of affection you give him, you could be pushing him away.
Consistency in a relationship is important, and any kind of shake up can cause stress to you and your partner. If he feels unsatisfied with the amount of affection and intimacy in your relationship, he could be thinking about ending the relationship once and for all. Being with a partner who doesn’t want to kiss and touch you is like being in a relationship with a friend. If your guy requires a high level of intimacy, and you’re just not giving him what he needs, don’t be surprised when he finally pulls the plug on your relationship.
7 Bringing Up Exes
Let’s face it, we all have exes. Some were good, and some were like nightmares that we would love to forget about. But whether we like it or not, exes play a huge part in our current relationships. They teach us what we will and won’t put up with, they help us to shape the ideals and characteristics we want in a partner, and unfortunately, they sometimes do a number on our self-esteem. It’s important to give your partner the background on your past relationships, but trust me, he doesn’t need to know all the gory details.
Bringing up your exes and constantly asking him questions about his past relationships will annoy any guy. Men want to live in the moment. They don’t want to keep discussing everything that happened in the past. By constantly bringing up your ex, he may think you’re not over the relationship. And if you keep bringing up his exes, he may think you’re acting insecurely.
So to play it safe, just eliminate the word “ex” from your vocabulary. They’re in the past, and your focus should be on the present and the future.
Your partner knows that when you go out with your girls, you’re going to get hit on relentlessly, and you may even do a little bit of flirting here and there. But he trusts you to not hook up with some random or give your number out to another guy. He trusts you, but he really wishes you would tone it down a bit.
Flirting with other men may seem harmless, but if your guy witnesses it or catches wind of your thirsty behavior, it could cause him to push away from you. No guy wants to know that their girl is batting her eyes at another man, and it makes his blood boil when he sees you touching another man’s arm and doing that cute little laugh that he loves.
if you’re flirting in front of your partner to make him jealous, it could definitely backfire on you. Just imagine if the shoe were on the other foot. Would you tolerate your guy licking his lips and winking at another girl in front of you? Probably not. So don’t do it to him unless you want to push him to bring the relationship to an end.
5 Not Having a Life
It’s tempting to want to spend every waking moment with your bae, but too much quality time with your partner is never a good thing. If the only social life you have is with him, then you’re in for a rude awakening. What brought him to you when the two of you initially met was probably your jam-packed social life. He didn’t know when he was going to see you next, and the unpredictability of your relationship was actually a good thing. It made the time the two of you spent together that much better.
But now that you have given up all of your friends and all of your hobbies, things have become boring and complacent. He knows that you’re going to want to spend every weekend with him, and it’s getting to the point where he really needs a break.
If you’ve been blowing off your friends and no longer taking the time to meet up with people who aren’t your man, it’s time to whip yourself into shape before it’s too late. No guy wants to be a woman’s entire world. So find things to do outside of your relationship ASAP!
4 Monitoring Him
No one likes to be watched like a hawk, but if you have a monitoring system setup on your guy, it’s definitely going to cause some issues in your relationship. When a woman becomes insecure, she will start to keep an eye out for her man and his bad behavior. She may incessantly stalk his social media accounts, filter through his text messages to see who he has been corresponding with, and going through his call log to see who he has been chatting to. If you go looking for something, you’re bound to find something wrong. But worst of all, if your guy feels like you’re monitoring his every move, it will definitely cause him to pull away from you.
It’s time you figure out what you’re looking for when you snoop through his things, and what’s causing you to act in this manner. Did an ex-boyfriend cheat on you, and now you’re convinced your new partner will do the same? Just realize that no matter how many times you check his phone and go through his things, if a guy wants to cheat on you, he will find a way to do it, and no amount of monitoring will change that!
3 Remaining Unbothered
When the two of you were dating, you probably came off as cool, calm and collected. You already know what happens when a woman is aloof while dating, right? She gets the guy, of course! But once the two of you are in a relationship, remaining unbothered and acting nonchalant can actually do more harm than good.
If your goal is to have a meaningful relationship that’s built on trust, honesty and with a deep emotional bond, you need to open yourself up to your partner at some point. Concealing your feelings, acting like you don’t care and coming across as if you’re not interested in him may make him chase you for awhile, but eventually he will get fed up. If you’re not giving him what he needs in terms of interest and attention, he’s bound to look for it somewhere else.
Showing that you’re interested, you love him and you care about the relationship will cause a natural shift in your relationship that will only lead to a stronger bond and more intimacy.
2 Trying to Change Him
It’s pretty likely that your guy has a history with women who have tried to change him at some point. Maybe his ex tried to get him to give up his obsession with video games, or his crush promised to date him only if he lost a few pounds. Some women will give the impression that they’re okay with the way their partner is, but as time progresses, they try to change the way he acts, the way he dresses, his friends, his jobs etc.
Everyone wants to be loved for who they are, and your guy is no different. It’s absolutely fine to encourage him to change his eating habits, and to give him pointers on how he can advance in his career. But when you give off the vibe that he’s just not good enough for you, he will start to slowly pull away.
If you think nagging and criticizing him will get him to change his ways, you’re in for a rude awakening.
1 Taking Away His Independence
The one thing that will scare any man away almost instantly is the threat of his independence being snatched away from him. Most men are under the assumption that being in a relationship means their Thursday night poker nights with the boys is automatically cancelled, their weekends will be pre-planned for them, and they will never be able to make another decision in their life without running it by you first.
Women and men approach relationships differently. While a woman may be ready to give her all to her partner, a guy may be a little more timid and cautious about jumping into things so soon. Any inclination that his freedom will be taken away from him is enough to make him run for the hills.
Allowing your guy to have a life outside of the relationship is one way to help quell his fears about losing his independence. If you send him off to his guy’s night out with a hug, a kiss and a smile, it will definitely help to ease all of his worries.