Alright, ladies and gentlemen, feminine hygiene is perhaps one of the most unattractive topics to discuss, but it’s definitely up there in importance. When it comes to having to take a visit to the feminine hygiene aisle, you can bet we have all experienced an awkward moment, or two.
Most times, it’s like feminine hygiene is forgotten or seriously hidden somewhere. Nothing is on display for everyone to see. It would be nice if we knew exactly where we were going, considering that it’s a common aisle to visit. Except, as you will see below, there are some surprising combinations of the aisles and interesting people you meet along the way. This has taught me to always be prepared for the unexpected, no matter what store I go to buy my necessary items.
Most of all, there is nothing embarrassing about shopping in the feminine hygiene aisle. If almost half of our society is made up of women, what’s the shock value of it? We all need something here or there from the area. We need to stock up on some stuff and take care of ourselves. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Although the array of items can be confusing at times, never be afraid to ask. Also, never be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. We ladies need to learn to stick together!
15 Lending a Helping Hand
This man who got cupcakes AND a box of tampons is about to face a ton of gratitude. If there are ever two things so far away from each other in a store, it is treats and tampons. And yet, they go together so perfectly.
Every now and then, you can expect yourself to run into a man on an impossible journey. Whether he needs feminine hygiene products for his girlfriend or his daughter, there’s a good chance that this man may feel lost and alone. You better be comfortable lending some advice on brands and fits without blushing. Hey, at least the poor guy is asking! We get it, if women are confused by all of the options, then men are definitely left pondering when set up for the task as well.
14 You Find It In What Aisle?!
Um, okay, has anyone else ever had to buy their pads or tampons right across from the lady picking out the best food for her cat? Big super markets hold the key to balance. You get your groceries and even some housewares and personal care items in one place. This is totally convenient!
But sometimes, these aisles can be dangerously large. They can be so large, in fact, that your box of tampons can be found in the same place that you shop for your baby or your pet. It’s weird. What do these things have in common? Can I just have one designated place to myself where I can pick my favorite brand, and decide on sizes in private? Apparently, no. We’re asking for too much.
13 So Many Colors and Options
Take a walk down the feminine hygiene aisle, and what do you see? Well, there’s a good chance that your eyes will be assaulted with color. There’s a reason these big name companies don’t package their items in all gray boxes that we can clearly just grab the size and be done with.
No, they want you to be moved by the colors of the rainbow, apparently. Everything is bright a cheery. And then you have wings, and super, and light options. And…what? The array can almost be headache inducing. I stick to whatever brand is on sale at the time because frankly, these items all serve the same purpose, right? I want to skip the confusion, get what I need, and keep it moving.
12 So Many Sizes Too
Big, small, tiny, smallest…extra large. What is going on here?! While we are bombarded by color, we are also given various options in sizes. Do you want a short panty liner or a long one? Do you need super jumbo tampons to get through the rest of the week? Not only do you need to decide which box is the prettiest and most trustworthy looking one, but now you need to decide what your flow is like, and what size you need to comfortably fit you down there. This isn’t like trying on shoes, and it’s definitely not a one size fits all situation either.
Forget the sass. Over time you will get to know your body and your flow. You will know what is comfortable to you. Don’t worry, you’ll do just fine.
11 Do Condoms and Periods Really Have That Much In Common?
Really, now we’re going to group Trojans with baby formula?! While the irony is clear, maybe it’s not the best place to put everything. Feminine hygiene often goes together with sexual health items as well. While you’re grabbing some sanitary napkins, I guess they want you to grab a box of condoms too. Is this too far?
Maybe, maybe not. But does the couple deciding on condoms have to know that I’m having a heavy flow today, or am I allotted to some privacy of my own? It works both ways...Does the guy or girl looking over condom options need me lingering nearby when debating on to go with wings this time or not? Let me help you, the answer is NO. Big aisles are overrated.
10 To Diva Cup or Not to Diva Cup
"I’m a, I’m a, I’m a a Diva", anyone else sing Beyoncé in their head when the Diva Cup comes up? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, the Diva Cup has been the latest craze in the feminine hygiene industry. It’s been dubbed a game changer.
Instead of switching your tampons three plus times a day, and shelling out for a new box every month, you can use the Diva Cup instead. It is a reusable, flexible cup that you insert inside yourself on your period. Apparently, it ‘catches’ your flow and you can easily wash and reuse it as needed. Sorry if that was TMI, but that’s what it is! So far, there have been mixed reviews about it, but you can’t deny that you’ve been curious if this would work for you.
9 Coming Face to Face With Insults
Haha, this is just a little pun. But did you know you can get a douche in the same place you can buy your tampons? Well, I’m here to tell you that you can. Oh, and a douche isn’t just a slick insult or the beloved name you dedicate to your older brother. Even the options of douching that you have are astounding. Do you want something scented, or maybe wipes will do the trick? There’s always the option to have an in shower option specifically formulated for your V.
Yes, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed even after many years of having a period. Your 20s are for experimenting, aren’t they? Or does that not apply to feminine hygiene? Hey, explore all your options, sister.
8 Is It Time for the Talk?
I’ve taken my nephew along on Target trips and run into the feminine hygiene aisle a few times for some necessary items…but I wasn’t expecting an array of questions to go along with it. Every now and then, a kid will find his or her way around and seriously wonder what we need the white things with wings for.
At what age do we give the talk again? Oh no, here we go. A relentless onset of question after question, and suddenly we are responding horribly while trying to avoid anything having to do with the birds and the bees. All you need is one kid to exclaim, “Mommy, what’s a tampon?” Suddenly the world stops turning, and you pause mid-step because you realize not everyone knows about this stuff.
7 Boys Just Don't Understand
You’re sporting a box of super jumbo-sized tampons and you’re finally next in line to pay. Suddenly, you make eye contact with Alex, the cute Target cashier who knows your cycle and size. Don’t be ashamed! Although…it would have been nice if you could have gone on a date without revealing your flow the first time around. Periods are natural, and it’s just something we women go through.
Despite knowing this, some men still can’t manage to not cringe when the topic comes up. Just brush your shoulders off and tell him to grow up. When a guy rings up your tampons, sometimes you just can’t help but feel a little embarrassed. And that’s okay. It happens. Now, you can forever only visit his lane when you want to purchase another pack.
6 They Still Try
When in doubt, buy any and every brand. There is nothing I appreciate more than a guy who tries. Okay, he totally, definitely failed. But he tried, right? That’s what’s important here! If you’re strolling down the aisles, don’t be surprised when you run into the guy with two packs of pads and three boxes of tampons. This is the guy who has no idea what he is doing, but is giving it his best. He will be damned if he fails.
It is admirable. However, don’t be afraid to offer a helping hand as well. We women know feminine hygiene products can be expensive, so let him know that his girlfriend only gets her period twelve times a year, and maybe buying her a years’ worth of items isn’t the best way to stay on her good side.
5 When Plan A Fails
Remember when I said that contraceptives and feminine hygiene apparently go hand in hand in the eyes of retailers? The same goes for plan b…which is accurately named Plan B, or also known as the morning after pill. Hey, accidents happen. Thankfully, that’s what it’s there for.
Getting Plan B has been made more accessible because what their ads claim, accidents happen. Well, now your box of tampons is armed with Plan B nearby. Don’t be shy, and be judgmental if someone grabs for it while you’re getting some panty liners. Respect the privacy others, and they will do the same for you. If you can’t find it out in the open, then just ask the pharmacist. They should have them on hand as well.
4 Women Need to Be Prepared Too
Again with contraception! Okay, this is starting to make more sense now. These items are starting to have a better flow product wise. The feminine hygiene aisle is not a place for the tender hearted. It can be awkward, confusing, and very overwhelming at times. But other times, it can be empowering and straight to the point.
Ladies, you all know that we are independent and strong. We can’t leave everything up to the guys. We need to be ready too…that means for anything. Go ahead and grab a pack of condoms with your Tampax Pearl! And if you’re unsure at the moment, then go ahead and for the Tampax Pearl and the pregnancy test instead. Don’t be ashamed of doing what you have to do. Feel awkward on the inside, but be totally confident on the outside.
3 Can Kids Just Not
Oh look, it’s a box Trojans, giggle, giggle. Cue the eye roll. It’s okay to be totally annoyed at kids who just don’t understand. Immaturity is something we all grow out of eventually. Well, not all…but at least most of us grow out of it. Push the foolish giggle crew of kids out of the way, get what you need, and don’t look back. One day, they will be in your shoes.
It’s just the cycle of how things work. Kids laugh at things they don’t understand and eventually get over it when they learn more. A kid making fun of something as simple as a pack of condoms is common and totally unprepared. They’ll grow up soon enough. Until then, don’t sweat their judgment.
2 When Life Becomes One Big Joke
Well, if it isn’t enough that the word douche actually means something you can find in the feminine hygiene aisle, then feel free to have a laugh at this. If there’s no place you shouldn’t take yourself too seriously, it’s the feminine care aisle. Go ahead, have a laugh because I sure did. When politics finds its way into personal care, you just can’t help laugh out loud.
Just be warned, you may find a sticker of Donald Trump making a weird face on your douche box. If you don’t like it, just turn it over and don’t stare at it. Otherwise, join in on the laughter and post it to Instagram or something. Spread the word: feminine care can be hilarious and full of non-anxious moments too.
1 Just Don't Even Explain Yourself
Alright, I just got my period and I’m fresh out of tampons. It’s time for a target run. Everyone knows this isn’t complete without an hour or so of wandering as well. Tampons, check! What’s this? They have pizza bagels on sale? Don’t mind if I do. Oh God, yes, I needed this family size of Starburst candy…for myself. Ooh, Nutella is always a yes. Wait, when did this Ben & Jerry’s flavor come out? I have to try it!
Okay, get a hold of yourself. But…there’s a new Reese’s cup ice cream bars? What is this amazing sorcery? Okay, you know what? I’m not feeling my best, and I owe this to myself! I said I would kinder to myself…I never said how. Don’t you EVER feel bad about your ‘period’ purchases. It’s likely that you deserve it all.