www.thetalko.com

14 Ways To Bounce Back

Things are going really great for you. Your life is working out as you planned. You've got a great job, the perfect boyfriend, and you couldn't be happier. And then, the unexpected happens. Maybe your boyfriend cheats on your or maybe you make a simple mistake at work and you get fired. You're a mess. You think you'll never recover from whatever it is you're going through. You've transformed from a normal, high functioning, happy individual to an emotional wreck. You wonder how long you're going to feel as miserable as you feel and you have no idea how to get back to the person you once were. Don't worry, we've all been there. Sometimes, life is hard, but that doesn't mean it won't get better. If you're in a rut, chances are, all you need is a little push. Read below to find out fourteen things you can do to bounce back.

14 Call On The People You Love

Maybe you were in an all consuming relationship and because of that, you've pulled away from some of your close friends. Well, that's all right. It's completely normal. And while it may seem awkward at first, those people you love are still going to be there for you now. Even if you feel guilty for not reaching out to them when you were "happier," it's not too late to reach out now. If they really love you, they'll be there for you. Surrounding yourself with people that make you feel appreciated is the first step in regaining some of that self-confidence you might've lost.

13 Reflect

We all do it. We try our best to avoid our emotions and hide what we're feeling. However, it's time to stop. Think about it: How can you truly get over something if you pretend like it's not effecting you? Take some time and get really personal with yourself. Whatever you're feeling, let it out. Don't judge your emotions, just let them happen. You may be surprised at what comes up.  Don't get stuck in the false idea that you're supposed to be feeling a certain way- the way you're feeling is entirely unique to you.

12 Be Grateful

That's right. We know, being grateful is the last thing you want to do when you're miserable. All you want to do is curse everyone and everything. But really, who's that helping? Make a list of all the things you're grateful for. It could be as simple as having a roof over your head or as complex as having a family that loves you. In doing this, you'll hopefully find that life's not so bad after all. Just because one aspect of your life is over, doesn't mean the entirety of your life is over.

11 Let Go

Look, you can't control what happened. Sure, maybe if you'd had done something differently, you wouldn't have gotten fired or maybe your boyfriend wouldn't have left you. But, we've got news for you: It happened and now, there's nothing you can do about it. It's time to accept that. Many times, the hardest part about change is letting go of your need to control things, especially for those who are used to having control over every aspect of their life. If you're one of those people, take a deep breath and tell yourself there's nothing you can do now, and that's completely all right.

10 Embrace Your Failure

Okay, so you feel like a failure. That's all right, you're only human, just like the rest of us. Don't get angry at yourself for said "failures," embrace them. Accept that you might've messed up, forgive yourself for it, and learn from it. Ask yourself: How did I mess up? What can I do next time? How did I do well? Then, take what you've learned with you. Know that in the future, you're going to be stronger, wiser, and better for all the hard times you've gone through.

9 Start Something New

So, you lost your job. What's one positive? You now have a lot of free time on your hands that you wouldn't otherwise have. Sure, that might be a little bit scary to you, but it's time to take advantage of it. Do things that you've always wanted to do but never had time for. Maybe you want to start a new hobby or maybe you want to go back home and see old friends that you've lost touch with. Well, now's the time. You have the rest of your life to work, enjoy a little time off while you have the chance.

8 Get A Role Model

Remember when you were a kid and you watched a movie or maybe read a great book and you said, "I' want to be like that person." Well, it's probably because you identified something about yourself in whatever character you were talking about. As an adult, it's time to do the same thing. Think of either characters in TV or film or even real life people that have gone through hard times, just like you. Get inspired by them and by their victories. It's not "weak" to look up to others, even as an adult. In fact, it will most likely give you some hope for a better future.

7 Get Excited About Your Future

Okay, one door closed. But you know what that means? Another one is going to open. However, only you have the key. Get excited by the fact that your future is exciting. Your path, although maybe unplanned, is changing. Tomorrow is a new day and the possibility it holds is endless. While it might be scary, it's not going to be boring. Take what you've learned from your past with you, but don't let it hold you back. You deserve the life that you want. And guess what: It's waiting for you. All you have to do is go for it.

6 Focus On You

We've talked about reflection, but now it's time to go above and beyond that. In order to truly bounce back and be a better you, you've got to take the time to focus on you. Depending on the type of person you are, this can mean many different things. Maybe starting a new hobby will make you happier, or simply going out with friends, or perhaps seeking help from a counselor. Before you do anything and everything, ask yourself: Is this beneficial to me? And if it is, do it. If it's not, do something else. Don't get in a self-destructive pattern because you're feeling down or angry at yourself. When in doubt, always chose the positive path.

5 Take A Vacation

What's the best thing to do when we're unhappy with our life as it is? Take a vacation from it! And no, that doesn't mean run away. It means do yourself a favor and take some time away from wherever you are. Vacationing is actually highly beneficial to your overall health. Take the time to visit a country and learn about other peoples and cultures, or maybe just go visit the beach or the mountains. Even if you simply go away for the weekend, taking a breath from your own life can help you move forward and broaden your  perspective.

4 Stop Blaming

It's easy to blame others for your problems and while it might make you feel better temporarily, it doesn't help much at the end of the day. When we blame people, we're basically just holding onto resentment and prohibiting ourselves from moving forward. The same is true when it comes to blaming ourselves. It's not helping you, it's only hurting you. If you're constantly beating yourself up, you're not going to be able to heal. Forgive those who you think are the reason for your pain, including yourself. While it's hard at first, it will help speed up your recovery time.

3 Close The Door

If the wound is still open, it's probably because there's some unresolved feelings you have about it. If you feel like you need to apologize for something, do it. If you can't move forward because you feel like you have unfinished business, do what you need to do to finish the business. Try your best to get rid of any anxiety you have around what happened, even if that means just making a simple phone call. If you can't reach out to the person you feel you need to talk to (maybe an ex or an old boss), write a letter but don't send it. Getting your thoughts and words out in the open should help clear your mind.

2 Make A plan

It's natural to feel as though life won't go on whenever we're upset about things. But come on, we all know life certainly will go on, no matter how much we try to fight or deny it. Accept that, and then make a plan for the future. Not only will having a plan make you feel better and more prepared for whatever comes your way, but it will also excite you. When making your plan, be rational, reasonable, and kind to yourself. Make it unique to you and for you alone. It's all right if your plan seems selfish, now is the time to focus on you. Once you've made your plan, stick to it, no matter how hard it may be.

1 Be On Your Side

We're all guilty of getting angry at ourselves because for some reason, life didn't work out in our favor. But guess what? It's time to be on your side. How do you do that? Simple. Be your biggest fan. Encourage yourself to try new things, to get happy, to stand up for yourself, just as you would your friends and family. Fight for your right to be happy and move forward. Don't tear yourself apart or punish yourself for the past by preventing your own personal growth. Reclaim your independence and your self confidence by remembering that you deserve to be and feel happy.

More in Girl Talk