Nobody should ever be purposely 'tested' in a relationship. That is just playing games and it can actually harm what you have. However, there will be times when you and your significant other will enter into situations that will test your compatibility with one another. Sometimes, paying attention to how these situations pan out will answer some questions too. How do you know they’re really the one? Maybe you’ll never know for sure, but these situations will give you a good idea on the shelf-life of your relationship.
14 Meeting the Parents
While this isn’t usually a deal breaker, it does make things a lot easier if, after your first meeting with the parents, the parents approve of, and maybe even like, your s/o. If you’re aiming for the relationship to be long-term, it means you'll be seeing them at Thanksgivings, Christmases, birthdays, weddings, and family trips, at the very least. Best case scenario, you get along really well, and they really do become your second family.
13 Meeting the Best Friend
This is just as important as meeting the family, if not more in some ways. Besides you, this is the person that your s/o spends the most amount of time with. Because they know your partner’s dating history, and what has worked (and hasn't) in the past, their opinions will matter (at least a little). They were there for all the times it didn’t work, so they are also going to be looking out to make sure you don’t hurt their friend again. Plus, you’ll be spending a lot of time hanging out with them too, so it's better if you can all become friends.
12 Attending a Family Wedding
You’ve met the parents, now it’s time to meet the extended family. Not only is this a test of whether you can put up with all the stress and craziness that comes with weddings, and with meeting your s/o's relatives, it is also a sign that your relationship is becoming more serious. You mean enough to your partner to be invited as a family member, and that’s great. But beware: The whole clan is making sure you’re good enough…
11 Staying with the In-Laws
You’ve made a good impression on the parents, and on the whole extended family - You all get along great! Staying the night or the weekend with the in-laws, though, is a whole other ball game. They may have told you to make yourself at home, but remember that it’s their house, their rules, and you’ll have to figure out your place in it all. It may also feel like you’re competing with your partner's parents for his attention. You may even see a side of your partner that you haven’t before, as they might slip back into being a child back at home. This can be tricky, but as long as you’re respectful, there is no reason why it shouldn't go well.
10 Taking a Road Trip
Ah, roadtrips! One of the great American past times. Windows rolled down, music turned up, silly pictures at road side attractions… Blown out tires, overbooked hotel rooms, getting lost, 16 hours of driving non-stop, and sleeping in the car. If you can survive a road trip together (both the good and the bad), it’s a good sign your relationship will go the distance (hopefully further than the car did). Figuring out all the solutions to these terrible situations and laughing about them later will result in great memories together.
9 Traveling Abroad
Similar to the road trip, you’ll not only be spending a lot of time together, but you'll also need to keep track of reservations, passports, and all of your luggage. You may be trying to decipher a new language, navigate through a city with a completely unfamiliar layout, and you may be eating foods that you don’t like, or haven’t tasted before. You may twist your ankle, get heat stroke, or maybe even get food poisoning. But if you can make it through all the crazy stuff that traveling throws your way, and enjoy the trip, this is definitely a good sign.
8 Building IKEA Furniture
IKEA: A young professional’s paradise for inexpensive, stylish and functional furniture. Great meatballs too. Shopping at IKEA can be fun until you get home and remember you have to put it all together. Why are there so many screws and allen keys?! If you can successfully build IKEA furniture together without the help of your parents, or a helpline, you're off to a good start. More importantly, if you can do it without throwing a wrench at one another, you’re golden! Anyone who manages to talk their way through building IKEA furniture definitely has their communication skills down (vital to any good relationship).
7 Long Distance Relationships
This won’t apply to everyone, but if you and your partner can survive being long distance (whether it be for a few months, or for a year) and maintain a good relationship throughout, your two have the potential to be ever-lasting. You’ll need to define exactly what this means to you, but starting with communication, making time for each other, keeping the romance, and ultimately trusting in one another, are good first steps.
6 Living Together
One of the ultimate tests is living together as a couple. This changes the whole dynamics of your relationship, as you will be combining both of your lives. From making decisions about decorating, to planning meals and coordinating your schedules, it takes some serious communication and honesty. A scary step, but it can be absolutely fantastic if you’re ready for it, especially if you remain respectful of each other’s needs and wants. Compromise and communication are key!
Trust comes in many forms, but it is vital to any healthy long-term relationship. If you and your partner can trust each other, you’ve definitely passed one of the tests. This should be in all aspects of life - from what they’re doing that night, their social media accounts and/or emails, to knowing that they’ve told you things they’ve never told anyone else, and even letting them go to that crazy weekend-long bachelor(ette) party with their party animal friends.
Finances are often a make it or break it kind of discussion, so it’s important to know where both of you stand and how you both view money and finances. It is also a discussion you need to have. Making a big purchase or a financial decision together is also a great sign of trust and commitment. Maybe it’s buying a TV or a house together, or maybe it's getting a joint bank account. This kind of commitment shows that you two are in it for the long haul.
3 Emergency Contact
You’re filling out a new job application, or maybe you’re about to participate in some really risky behaviour like trying rock climbing for the first time. You come to the part where it asks for your emergency contact details… Who do you put into this slot? Maybe before you would have automatically put your mom or sister, but now you’re hesitating. Who do you really want to show up at the hospital in case of a severe stapler injury? If you thought of your partner, that’s a good sign. They are someone you can trust with your life, and who you want when you need comforting. Maybe you can’t put them for legal reasons (if you’re not married), so you still have to put Mom, but you can still squeeze them on there too, just in case.
2 You Can Talk About the Big Things
You’ve talked about the big things - finances, kids, religion, politics… and stayed calm, open, and respectful. You’ve addressed how important (or unimportant) all of these are to you, how they affect your relationship, and where you see it going. These are the big things that really matter in your life. They will be the foundation for your future. They are the foundations to your values, so it’s important to understand each other’s points of view, and compromise if you need to.
Not every couple wants to get married, and that’s totally okay. But if you’ve discussed getting married, or even just marriage in general, and both of you aren't automatically getting a little hot under the collar, consider this another test passed. This means that the idea of marriage - and the commitment that comes with it - isn’t something that makes you or your partner uncomfortable or pressured. That means both of you are totally okay with the idea of spending a very long time together.