For centuries and even until today, this world we live in has always been considered a man’s world. After all, men are physically stronger, supposedly being able to place the world’s problems on their very able shoulders. But while it’s true that they surpass women in physical strength, society sometimes fails to see that enduring childbirth makes a female better able to withstand pain, thus giving her the strength to bear burdens, physical and otherwise, which is something men may not be able to withstand.
Women today have been rising from the ranks, determination borne from perennially being viewed as the weaker sex. They’re out to prove that they aren’t weak, that they’re just as capable or even more so than men to take on the world. And with this attitude, men have their very fragile egos deflated significantly. While women are highly encouraged to achieve great heights, they should do so without having to step on the men’s toes and emasculate them. Here are some things the ladies ought to be careful with when it come to treating their men.
15 Criticizing him in front of other people.
Child psychologists and parenting websites always stress that one of the big no-nos when it comes to raising kids is not to scold them in public because it will utterly embarrass them and mess with their self-esteem. Well, the same goes for men. When you criticize him in front of his friends or family (or worse, in front of your own family), he’ll most definitely resent you, even if you’re only half-joking. Who wants to be told to “stop chewing so loudly” during a family dinner for the entire room to hear?
14 Admitting when you fake it.
One of the advantages of being a gal is not just the ability to have multiple Os, but to be able to fake it without the guy knowing. Even the most sexually experienced of men can be fooled if you successfully pretend they brought you to heights of pleasure. The rule of thumb of course is to never admit that you faked it. It’ll lead him to self-doubt and will make him wonder if he’s any good at satisfying a woman.
13 Having him sit and wait on the “courtesy seat” in a boutique.
There’s a reason why almost all boutiques that carry women’s clothing and accessories have that very comfortable couch in the middle of the store. That very comfy piece of furniture is officially meant for customers to sit on when they’re trying on shoes. But more often than not, it’s referred to as the “courtesy seat” for the guys to rest on when they’re tired from being dragged from one store to another. He’s not your lap dog. Don’t keep making him flit from one couch to the next. He probably would rather be somewhere else than shopping with you anyway!
12 Asking him to carry your purse.
One of the biggest pet peeves of many independent women and the typical manly man is seeing a guy walking around touting his girl’s purse on his broad shoulders, while she walks beside him free of the burden of carrying her purse. It’s your bag. If you didn’t intend to carry it, you shouldn’t have stepped out of the house with one in the first place and maybe just stuffed your essentials into your pockets. If he insists on carrying it? Tell him thanks for the offer, but you can manage.
11 Beating him at sports and rubbing his nose in it
Ahh men and their sports. That’s his haven, his escape from reality, whether he’s glued to the TV watching the latest football or hockey game or out with the guys on a Saturday morning for a quick game of basketball to unwind and blow off steam. So when you unexpectedly decide to join in on his basketball game, even with the best of intentions, it can definitely put him on edge. And if you happen to be good at the sport and win, that is amazing, just don't rub his face in it too much.
10 Telling him to “be a man!”
One of the most insulting things to say to a guy is to man up. Because physiologically, biologically, he is a man. Yes, it’s true, there are many douchebags out there who deserve to be told to man up, which basically means to take responsibility for their actions. But this is not the kind of statement your own man would want to hear from his partner. Saying “man up” is not only harsh, it’s extremely degrading for men.
9 Complaining that you’re not happy.
One of the greatest purposes of a man when he enters into a relationship is to make his woman feel protected. Cherished. Loved. Happy. Stemming from some sort of messianic complex, men have that notion of being a woman’s savior and superhero. He feels he’s responsible for his lady’s happiness and when you so much as complain or comment that you’re unhappy, he feels the pressure to do something about it, even if your distress has nothing to do with him. So wording is very important in these instances. Don’t say you’re not happy. Just say you’re having a down day, but you’re optimistic it’ll get better.
8 When you don’t support him.
The song Cheerleader by OMI has never rung more true when it comes to men. As the lyrics go, “Oh I think I found myself a cheerleader, she is always right there when I need her.” Because a man needs someone in his corner, cheering him on in whatever endeavour he decides to undertake. Not only is it your way of supporting him and encouraging him, it’s also your way of affirming him that he’s doing well and being the success that he so wants you to see him as.
7 When you’re bossy.
If there’s one thing a guy hates (or anyone for, that matter) it’s someone who bosses him around, especially if your tone of voice is condescending. Yes, maybe every so often, males like it when a girl gets domineering, especially in their intimate moments. But that should be as far as it goes. Yes, it’s fine to remind your partner to take out the trash, but the words you use and the tone of voice can make loads of difference. Barking at him with “You should throw out the trash” is worlds apart from saying in a gentle voice, “Hope it’s alright if you throw out the trash.”
6 You rub it in that your paycheck is bigger than his.
Men are no longer these days regarded as the sole providers of the household and women are bringing home the big bucks. Some women are the ones bringing home the bacon, so to speak. This can deflate his ego and hurt his pride, though it’s no fault of your own and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of your own success. Just don’t lord it over him. Show that it doesn’t matter if his paycheck isn’t as fat as yours.
5 Belittling his job.
Circumstances oftentimes dictate that you and your partner work in industries with immense pay gaps. If he’s a business owner of a small bar or restaurant and you happen to be a senior partner in a top-ranking corporate law firm (something akin to the TV show Suits maybe), there’s no way that he’s earning more than you. But what matters is that you don’t look down on him or rub it in his face. He shouldn’t be made to feel less of a man just because your bank account is bigger.
4 Asking him for help, then insisting on your way.
If there’s one thing a guy takes pride in, it’s being needed and feeling that he can be of help. Again with the hero complex. So when you play damsel in distress and ask him to help you fix the sink or repair a loose hinge on the door, he’s ever so happy to oblige. But things will turn sour if you start dictating to him how things should be done. “The screws should be tighter! I usually use the bigger screw driver!” He’ll feel like you don’t need his help after all and may all but throw down the tools and walk away.
3 Comparing him to other guys.
Nobody likes to be told that others are better than them. Even as kids, we’d resent it when our parents would compare us to our siblings. “Megan has better grades than you, so you need to study harder!” We hate hearing those words and so does a man. Comparing him to other guys (and we’re not just talking about comparing girth) is tantamount to saying he’s not good enough. When you comment that his best friend has a higher position at work or his brother has a better car, your man will feel like you prefer them over him!
2 When he has to adjust to your career’s demands.
It’s been proven time and again that the more independent and successful a woman is, the more difficult it is for her to land a guy, especially if her career requires her to travel to different cities for weeks and months at a time. In these instances, it’s either you take the long-distance relationship route or your guy ought to have a flexible enough job to be able to follow you around. But whatever option it is, it still entails your man having to sacrifice his own career to cater to yours, which is not an easy decision for anyone to make.
1 Nagging him.
The one thing a guy can’t stand in women is their nagging. His mother and his older sister probably talked their ears off when he was growing up, reminding him over and over to clean his room, wash the dishes or do some other chore that he forgot to do. He doesn’t need the same treatment from his girlfriend or wife, no matter how tempted you are to bug him to no end to finish a task he was supposed to have done. Reminding him every so often yes, but hounding on him incessantly until he relents? Nuh-uh.