Time to face the hard (wink) truth. Sometimes, guys pretend to like you – even love you – just to get you to take your clothes off. Call it paranoid, but we have to make sure that a man isn’t faking love just to sleep with us before we give it away.
If it’s the case that he is completely out of his mind head over heels for you, amazing. However, when a bad egg tricks us, it can leave permanent scars. Not only will you feel terrible that you were so naïve, but you will have to deal with the repercussions of a heartless man. Below is a list of 14 tell-tale signs he’s using “I love you” as a key for getting hot with you, compiled from countless heartbreaks from fellow females around the world for thousands of years.
Getting hot and heavy is a two-way street. Both males and females are biologically inclined to love it. If you care about someone, you’ll make sure that you both are getting the same enjoyment from the activity. This usually means making sure the act lasts while the other finishes their business. Guys who don’t ask about your satisfaction, and don’t make an effort to pleasure you in the same way that you do either have no idea what they are doing (in which case why be with them), or don’t care about you much once you’re under the sheets.
If a guy really loves you, he’ll want to show you off. Of course, you’ll meet his friends at the bar, his roommates while you’re hanging around the apartment, and maybe his coworkers at a happy hour or work function. Family, on the other hand, is a whole different ball game. If it’s been a while and you guys have been steadily getting hot and heavy, there comes a time when he will mention bringing you around to meet the folks. If this seems unlikely, you’ve mentioned it and he’s not in, or he’s simply not inviting you to family events, it’s time to take the hint.
Let’s assume you love him but you’re deciding if he loves you or is simply using you for your body. A fool proof test is to invite him to meet your family. Most guys, whether they love you or not, may be a bit nervous to meet the family at first. However, if a guy is really into you, he will be excited to make an impression on the people who matter most. If he’s totally against it, there’s a red flag.
In any relationship, giving each other space is a good idea. There comes a time however, when a guy ditches the boy’s night out to spend time with you. Additionally, there are opportunities for him to invite you to the guy’s outings. If you feel like you’re constantly interrupting his partying, golfing, or brunching with the boys, it may be time to walk away from him completely and have your own wild G.N.O.
You’re better than “Netflix and chill?” constituting your most extravagant night out with your boyfriend (or “F—buddy”). Don’t get me wrong, you can definitely spend some nights in cooking economical dinners together and watching the latest movies, but don’t make it your routine. If he’s reluctant to show you a good time outside of his room, time to ditch him.
Although it may seem frustrating at first, our girlfriends usually have a better eye than us at spotting A-holes. When we are infatuated, or think we are in love, with someone it’s comparable to taking a few shots of tequila before going on an episode of the Bachelor. We can be completely delusional when we’re head over heels with a fake.
We all have a right to be a little weird with our phones. No one likes someone scrolling through their phone without them looking over their shoulder. However, in an intimate relationship, it’s pretty standard to know the password to the other’s cell. If he’s constantly deleting things, neglecting to save numbers, taking his phone away from you and stepping outside to “take a call,” it’s valid to be skeptical.
Maybe he said he loved you first, but now that it’s said, you seem to always be the one initiating the exchange. It’s fine to be vulnerable and tell him you love him, but when you feel like a broken record receiving an automatic reply, his head may be somewhere else. (Probably on the lower half of his body.)
Things come up and you’re never able to go ice skating, apple picking, try out that nice dinner date, etc. Maybe he builds things up to make you believe that he has other intentions than a sleep over, but he cancels last minute. Don’t fall for that.
Analyze the past couple times you have hung out with him and see how often you were outside of the bedroom. This may be a shocking exercise for some, who realize their entire relationship occurs via text and behind an apartment door.
If he loves you, he’ll daydream about you two together in the future. Maybe he won’t go as far as imagining what your wedding dress and his tux will look like – but he will slip up and talk to you about those vacations you’re going to take in the future, or the type of house he wants to live in with you one day. Yes, relationships should be about being here now, but as humans, if we love someone, we can’t help but imagine our future with them.
He sees nothing wrong with being great friends with his ex. This can infer a bit of indifference in his personality. Is he emotionally unavailable? Is he in love with someone else and seeking the sexual aspect of his past relationship through you?
Immediately after having getting it on, some guys decide they aren’t the cuddling type. If he’s all over you before the deed and immediately needs his space after, it could be a bluff. Be weary of this, some guys genuinely do not like to cuddle but they will at least do it for you if they really care.
This is the most important way to know if he’s faking love just to sleep with you. Only you will know when you feel the most affection and support in your relationship. Are you getting hot and heavy with him time and time again because it’s the only instance when you feel truly loved by him? If that’s the case, forget about him and find someone who loves you in and out of the bedroom.