The men of Reddit were asked what their dream wedding would be. And I'm sure you ladies are absolutely fascinated to know what their thoughts are. There seems to be some major trends here...
The first is that the guys don't like the pressure and the formalities. They don't want to have to get in a fancy suit, have a long ceremony and even longer speeches. They don't want lots of people they have to make nice with. They don't want super fancy food, they want a BBQ or stuff they actually like such as burritos or pizza. They want it to be relaxed and fun for themselves, and everyone in attendance.
The next trend is that they're really into the setting. They like the beach for the wedding, which goes with the relaxed vibe that they're into. The guys are also feeling a wedding out in nature. They like the idea of getting married in the mountains or just outside in some nice green area. They like the aesthetics of it, and they probably like the idea because it's not all stuffy and traditional either.
So, let's take a look at what they said exactly:
14 A Casual BBQ
"Not my wedding but a dream wedding as a guest. We all thought we were just going to a BBQ. We knew they were engaged, but they invited us to a BBQ. All their friends and family were there. It was summer, outside at their place. There was a pig roast and a band. An hour in they said they were getting married. Surprise to almost everyone. Didn't have to dress up, bring a gift, everyone had fun."
This is a really nice idea for a couple who want a wedding without the pressure. And obviously the fellas want as little pressure as possible. The only thing I would worry about is if people I wanted there didn't turn up because they thought it was just another BBQ. I'd be absolutely gutted.
13 It Just All Goes Well
"Zero attention on me except from my friends and close family members, she looks amazing and killin' it, ceremony is ten minutes long, my older brother crushes his Best Man speech and everyone is laugh-crying, my Dad tells me he's proud of me, my Mom can't talk because she's just a mess, and then we all get appropriately and responsibly drunk and dance and laugh and then go to bed exhausted and sleep for 48 straight hours. Then have sex. (Just me and my hypothetical bride, not everyone I just mentioned, you perverts.)"
Guys just want the day to go smoothly, without any hitches, even if they do take a more traditional route. So it's not only the ladies who are concerned about potential hiccups on the day. Guys want the least amount of stress possible.
12 Small And Romantic
"Forgive me for sounding too hallmark, but I would want a small wedding on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean lit only by the moonlight and some candles. No more than 20 really immediate friends and family, and mandatory mimosas for all.
But seriously, marriage should be about yourself and your loved one and I think over celebrating that special event takes away from that magic."
This could be another reason why men want smaller weddings, aside from the stress and pressure. They just want it to be about them and their other half, they don't really care about anyone else. It's not a bad thing, I don't think. It's quite romantic actually. And mimosas on the beach sound like a great idea. Beach weddings are always beaut and by their nature smaller than your average wedding.
11 Not Inviting Too Many People
"As an Indian, I'd like to only invite people whom I know well and show them a good time at the wedding.
Not every Ram, Karthik and Hari whom I've never seen before and avoid the awkward 'Do you remember me?' conversations."
I love that - "Not every Ram, Karthik and Hari", that's so funny! It's true though that lots of guys don't want a big wedding attended by lots of people they don't know. They want to spend their wedding day with people who are close to them and who they really care about. South Asian weddings tend to extend over a number of days and there are way more people invited than at other weddings. So, you've got to feel for this guy. Another South Asian Redditor said that he had been to family weddings that lasted over a week and had more than 500 people in attendance. That's a lot!
10 Tag Games And Paintball
"In the mountains, with paid nannies taking care of the kids, so they stay out of sight. Nanny cams everywhere there, so people can relax and just glance at their pads to know their children are OK.
Now that we removed the worrying factors, a bloody bacchanal, drinks available for everyone, with optional clothing, dress code removed, so I can just wear a toga made of one of comfortable thread and no underwear.
A playground for the grownups, with slides, swings and all the other things we no longer use because we have to be mature and stuff.
A treasure hunt, tag games, and paintball wars scheduled, and also, the place and the whole operation must be both cosplay and furry friendly, so everyone feels free to let lose their inner freak.
Also, a few tailors and seamstresses available to fix your clothing or costumes on the spot, and to throw together simple stuff for guests who desire something different to wear at the last minute.
Oh, how I long for the exquisite decadence of Versailles."
9 The Ultimate Fantasy
"We'd have the wedding on a beach surrounded by cliffs or mountains. I'd be on one mountain, my wife on the other. All around, huge horns would sound as the sunset begins. Then giant speakers would blast Vangelis - Chariots of Fire, as we'd para-glide (tandem, neither of us know how to do that shit without dying) down to the beach where a whole bunch of people are waiting. F*ck me that would be glorious.
As we'd land people would cheer and applaud and chant our names and stuff like "You're awesome!" and "We love you!" and so on. We'd get married by a Discordian pope. The ceremony would last 42 minutes and 36 seconds, because that is the exact length of Dvorak's New World Symphony, which would be playing at the same time. Even better, the ceremony would be a full drama performance with this music blasting as its soundtrack.
Once all that is said and done, there'd be huge fires lit on the beach and a big party would start with good f*cking food, none of that "lobster with caviar and blahblah" bullshit, just like burritos and pizzas and a BBQ and some nice fucking salads and shit. Nothing fancy, just good. (No fish cause we both hate fish and don't want that smell anywhere near our wedding).
I'd want Venetian Snares to perform live. Sure, most of the people there are probably going to hate it and my wife will tire of it after 30 minutes or so but it's my dream wedding goddamnit and I think that shit is awesome. Just for an hour, then he can join the party."
8 No Ceremony
"I don't want a ceremony. I want to put that money into something more valuable like a house. Also, I'm shy, and the thought of people watching me as I get married horrifies me."
Sorry, love, but it's really unlikely that you're going to get away with not having a ceremony. This guy will have to find a wife who has the same opinion as him. Most women want at least a small ceremony for their wedding, those who don't are an absolute rarity. I totally understand where this guy is coming from. I really don't like the idea of all on eyes on me while I give this... it's like a performance really isn't it. But there's no way I would not be able to have a ceremony because my family and close friends would murder me.
7 A Budget Wedding
"Courthouse ceremony, potluck for friends/family afterwards. Spring for a wedding cake because wedding cake is delicious, but otherwise, as low cost as possible. I have a certain addiction to wedding shows (Say Yes to the Dress, Bridezillas, etc) and while I love them, they've made me realize that I don't want a fancy wedding. There's way too much pressure involved and I'm the type of guy that gets way too stressed out over everything to want to deal with that, not to mention that even a simple wedding costs an absurd amount of money that I know I'd never be able to justify spending. Maybe if my husband-to-be were some kind of outrageous billionaire and $10k were nothing to him, then I wouldn't mind a more traditional wedding, but since I doubt that one is gonna happen, something more practical."
6 Disney Wedding
"Just the two of us alone at Disney. I want to get married in the morning and spend the day running around the park like children who are madly in love having the time of their lives. I want to get married on the beach at the Polynesian resort and have Stitch there.
I've never wanted anybody at my wedding. Ever since I was a kid it has just seemed weird to me. And going to other people's weddings has made me absolutely hate it, so long and boring. So I just want a 1 on 1 experience.
Plus I have never been to Disney and I really freaking wanna go!"
I'm sure lots of women would be into the idea of a Disney wedding. The lady gets all the cutesy Disney princess stuff, while the man gets the thrill of the theme park. It's a win-win for both parties really.
5 Outdoors In The Fall
"If I were to, and since I've grown away from all of the religious shit (sorry parents), an outdoors fall wedding. Photos would be amazing with the colors. Simple, few people. Maybe some cake or pie. Would only have the best man as I only have one male friend."
Here's another guy who wants a wedding out in nature. He touches on another interesting point actually. I don't really understand why people who aren't religious still get married in churches just because it's traditional. It doesn't make sense to me. Perhaps they're appeasing their family. I'm all for making the family happy but to have a wedding in a religious setting when you're not religious would feel really false to me. Appease the family in some ways but stay true to yourself I say.
4 The Honeymoon Is More Important
"I've only ever thought about it a few times. Honestly? The wedding wouldnt matter. I dont care if its big or small. Outside or in a church. I guess if i had to be the one in the relationship to choose the setting id go with on a beach. The only thing id care about would be the honeymoon. Id be fine spending 500$ on the wedding and 5000$ on the honeymoon. I want to remeber the times we are together. Not that one time i bought you a ring and did some arbitrary ritual i dont actually care about.
Don't get me wrong here. Im all for romance and feeling awesome for the big day. For being with one person for the rest of your life. And if my wife to be wanted a bitchin wedding id throw one... But that ring and piece of paper dont mean jack shit. Id be with her becuase i love her. Metal and a court signed document doesn't say that to me. Im sure there are a hundred thousand things i can do to show love to someone.I probably just sound like an arrogant jackass though."
3 Debt-Free Wedding
"Sunny Day in a nice park. The reception is there right afterwards. Kegs of beer decent wine some hard booze. Have a pig roast or some type of similar food. Could get the whole wedding done for around $8k easily. We both are already in debt why start our life another 20k in debt."
You've got to hand it to this guy. He's being practical. Some women might want a big, lavish wedding but is it really worth it to put yourself in debt? Debt is something that's hard to deal with in any marriage, so starting out with even more debt than before would be an unhealthy way to begin your married life together. If you're in debt and desperate to get married, just keep it simple like this guy suggests. He could go way more budget than an $8k wedding though.
2 Musical Wedding
"Have friends and family around in a beach setting. String quartet playing all of Vivaldi's four seasons followed by flute duets and then later a solo pianist. Have no gifts for the wedding just people showing up and enjoying their time. Later on we have some 1940's-2000's jazz playing in the background as we hang out together as a huge group. Then at the end the wife and I walk around the beach as we have the song "Stand By Me" by Ben E. King in the background followed by "Build Me Up Buttercup" by the foundations in the back. From there we take a limo to go watch a symphony preform at my local symphonic house as the day ends."
This man's passion is clearly music and he wants it to play a prominent part at his wedding. Here's hoping he finds a lady who is just as passionate about music.
1 Barn Wedding
"This is one that I’ve thought about A LOT. I’m not really a traditional type of guy, so I wouldn’t want my wedding to be, here is the plan:
Quiet service with just the close friends and family, none of this “oh that’s some guy my cousin worked with ten years ago” shite. Get that over and done with, this isn’t the part I’m bothered about.
The reception will be in a rented out barn, with sweet lights and cool furniture around the outside, fully stocked (open) bar with huge casks of Ale and lager on tap. Wine and spirits all ready to go. On one end of the bar is a bunch of cocktail gear, with instructions on how to make various cocktails, so guests can try their hand at a mojito or whatever.
For food, there will be a hotdog stand, as well as a table with some sick nibbles.
In the centre of the barn will be the dance floor, with an Irish folk rock/punk band playing some absolute knees up tunes (Dropkick Murphy’s/Flogging Molly/The Real McKenzies style) Party goes on until the wee small hours, with a playlist on after the band finishes.
First Dance will be to Made of Stone- Stone Roses"