Many women are taught from a young age to be proud of themselves for who they are, and to feel empowered as a female. A woman's confidence is one of the best features about her, and makes her secure in herself. The woman who loves herself wholeheartedly in today's world is like having the protective sword and shield ready for anyone that tries to take her down. She can protect herself, because she knows what she deserves and demands nothing less.
Sadly, a lot of women do not value themselves anywhere near as highly as they should. It could be for many different reasons: difficult upbringing, trauma, being neglected or abandoned, repeating the behaviors of other women they grew up around with no self worth or simply not being taught how to fully love herself. Women with low self-esteem and self-worth have certain patterns and behaviors that prove to be very destructive, very toxic and sometimes even life-threatening. Some women may be guilty of exhibiting more of those behaviors than others, and it can lead to an unfortunate and sometimes tragic outcome.
Here, we will go through 13 things women who don't value themselves do differently, and how much this can affect them.
13 They're Always Self-Bashing
It's normal to get a little down on ourselves from time to time. We can put some pretty unrealistic expectations on ourselves, especially when we see people that seem to have it all together while we haven't yet achieved our picture perfect life. Confident women don't let outside influences make them insecure. Instead she realizes that everyone is different, and her unique traits are what makes her special. What's hers is hers, and she owns it. A woman with significantly low self-esteem, however, is constantly picking at themselves. They're very hypercritical and have a very hard time seeing anything positive about themselves. They don't see themselves as good enough, and will deny anyone that tries to convince them otherwise. Women who don't see value within themselves won't go a day without bashing something about their looks, personality, skills, or virtually anything about themselves.
12 They Involve Themselves with The Wrong Crowd or S/O
Women with very low self worth often keep very bad company, whether it be friends or significant others. They have a very big issue with wanting some form of attention or acceptance, even if it's negative. People that appear well liked or popular or someone that everyone loves being around, they want acceptance within their group too. They want to be around certain people so bad that they'll dismiss a person's manipulative or even abusive behavior just so they may continue to have them in their lives. They would rather be treated badly than be by themselves. They will ignore a loved one's caution and concern for them and may even end up pushing them away for the wrong people.
11 They Sacrifice Their Well Being For Others
Women with no self value are often putting themselves at risk of being hurt for people that don't and will never appreciate it. They have a constant need to prove themselves and their worth to other people, even those who don't really care about them much at all. They believe that convincing these people that they are "loyal" and "good enough" will get that person, whether it's a love interest, a person they want to consider a friend, a family member, or even an enemy, to accept them. Women with low self worth have a very strong and often dangerous need for acceptance, especially from the wrong people. Not surprisingly, they'll often sacrifice relationships with friends and family to get in these toxic people's good graces.
10 They Constantly Doubt Themselves
We have all had moments where we felt like maybe we weren't good enough. Maybe you were a little hesitant to ask your crush out once because we didn't know if we were attractive to him. Or maybe you never took the leap and started up that business you always wanted. Or maybe you couldn't bring yourself to talk to your boss about that raise you knew you deserved, but still weren't sure since you were late to work that one day. Normally we wouldn't let all these questions stop us from going after the things we know could possibly turn out great. Sadly, a woman who has no self worth cripples herself with so much self doubt that she doesn't even bother to try at all. She knows it'll never work out, so there's no point in pursuing anything that may be worthwhile because she thinks she just doesn't have what it takes and never will.
9 They Sabotage Potential Success
Women who don't value themselves believe that they aren't deserving of success, for various reasons. They're also afraid that if they achieve success, they'll only mess it up anyway, and don't bother trying. They doubt themselves so often that they end up convincing themselves that they are incapable of achieving anything great. Their fear of failure coupled with their low self esteem equals a recipe for disaster in regards to their life’s plans and goals. They don’t view themselves as good enough to be able to accomplish great things, or if they manage to do something good they’ll end up doing something to mess it all up. With that being said, they don’t bother trying. If someone offers them a promotion or opportunity to move up in their field at work, or to actively contribute to something that’s a big deal and could eventually look awesome on their personal resume, they’ll decline. Not only will the pressure be too much to bear since they constantly fear screwing everything up, but they also fear potentially disappointing others and themselves.
8 They Love To Humiliate Others
As the saying goes, “Misery loves company.” Some women who have low self-worth feel the need to convince others to feel just as terrible about themselves as they do on their own. A confident woman never feels a need to bash and degrade other people or try to place them in a negative light. They are too happy and focused on their own lives to worry about making others feel down or depressed about themselves. Sadly, some women that have really low self esteem want other women to feel the same way. Making someone else feel bad is like a temporary fix for them, as they can place attention on someone else’s flaws and shortcomings front and center so they and other people don’t have to focus on theirs. It makes them feel a little better to know that people are paying attention to other people's issues and not theirs.
7 They Don't Accept Compliments
Women who don’t see value in themselves hardly see any good in themselves, thus they can’t possibly understand how others could see anything valuable or great about them either. When people try to compliment them about anything, they either brush it off, get really defensive and angry by lashing out, or convince themselves that the person is simply pitying them and is only saying it just to try to be nice. “They don’t really mean it.” they say to themselves. When a person can’t see value in themselves they assume others certainly can’t either. A woman who has no self-worth have serious issue with believing other people truly like, love and care about them, and actually believe the compliments are lies.
6 They're Pushovers
Being a pushover is never, ever a good thing because it means you allow people to walk all over you. A woman who doesn’t value herself doesn’t hold herself to high standards and lacks the confidence to stand up for herself against people that are manipulative or who constantly take advantage of her. She also has a really hard time defending herself against mean people or those with a form of authority. She doesn't view herself as someone who shall be regarded with much more respect than she's given. Her logic is “How dare I even try to debate this person when I'm this and I'm that?” Women who don't value themselves sadly are guilty of allowing others to walk all over them.
5 They Believe Every Argument Is Their Fault
Women with low self esteem are extremely self-conscious, and have this obsession with trying to please everybody. They also greatly fear being disliked and believe every time someone gets angry at them it's because of something they did. They always take the blame for how others treat them and feel that their flaws and mistakes are justification for others to be cruel or hostile to them. They think there's always something they shouldn't have said it shouldn't have done without once believing maybe the other person was in the wrong and not them. These women have a need to be absolutely perfect and loved by everybody, even though they know deep down inside that they'll never reach anyone's oral of perfection. It kills them, but they try anyway, unfortunately leading to their low self esteem, confidence, and self worth.
4 They Participate in Self Destructive Activities
Women who don't really value themselves often have issues with having tendencies, interests, and behaviors that are toxic to their well being, whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or all the above. It can involve drug or alcohol abuse, promiscuity and unprotected sexual behavior with multiple partners, extreme irresponsibility with money or hygiene, and other forms of self harm. Seeing yourself as someone with no value could virtually lead to you not caring about yourself at all, and participating in such toxic behavior doesn't phase them as being self destructive. While some do these things as an attempt to run away from their problems that they clearly have a hard time dealing with, others know exactly what they're doing and don't care, because they don't know how to love themselves.
3 They Depend On Others To Make Them Happy
Women with low self esteem find it very hard to feel complete without a significant other or a large social group. They often may hop from relationship to relationship, often extremely promiscuous, and are willing to stay in relationships or friendships where they know they aren't being treated well simply so they may not be by themselves. They settle for any kind of company that lets them in, even if it means sacrificing their well being or anything that was once important to them. Women with no self worth don't find themselves amusing or good enough to stand alone and seek validation from other people to feed their insecurities. They don't know how to have fun on their own or enjoy their own company. Their focus is never on themselves but rather how much they can impress others or be more likable.
2 They Frequently Compare Themselves To Others
We're all guilty of comparing ourselves to others from time to time. We look at someone that may have more money than us, or might have physical features we wished we had, wished we had the talent someone else has, or wished we lived the seemingly lavish lifestyles they did. The list can go on. However, women who don't value themselves see flaws in just about everything about themselves and are constantly talking about how much better someone is compared to them, and how they'll never amount to nearly as much. It's a very unhealthy behavior and leads to stress, very low self esteem, and even anxiety and depression.
1 They Don't Handle Failed Relationships Well
For women that see no value in themselves, the end of a relationship or friendship can be completely devastating, to the point where they fall into a depression so deep that they can barely keep up with daily activities. They sulk and wallow in misery for very long periods of time, finding it difficult to live life as they should. The worst part is sometimes they know it was totally beneficial for them to sever ties with the person due to their toxicity, yet their dependence on them grew so strong that their absence leaves them feeling empty. They can't deal with rejection and the fact that the person they felt they needed so much walked out of their lives so easily kills them inside. They believe they can't possibly find someone better or that anyone new would want anything to do with them. Losing a friend or s/o for a woman who doesn't value herself is a traumatic experience, while for a confident woman it's just seen as a new beginning and opportunity for something better to come.
If you have been guilty of one or more of these things, don't be ashamed. Learning to love yourself wholly is a challenging journey for many. Being and remaining positive is always the first step. To all the women that have trouble seeing their value and feeling worthy: you are beautiful, you are strong, you are enough, and you are loved.