Celibacy literally means abstaining from marital or physical relations. Now, you might think you're celibate because you're not married or doing the deed, but true celibacy is actually a decision made voluntarily by an individual. Celibacy has been around for hundreds and hundreds of years and used to be extremely common. There are many reasons one might decide to be celibate. For example, it may be as a result of religious belief or religious doctrine, a response to an outside situation, or for some other personal reason. Whatever the catalyst behind the decision, living a celibate life is completely different than living a physically active life. And, (like all big major life decisions) making the choice to be celibate effects almost every aspect of your life- even in ways you might've never imagined. Read below to find out 13 things that happen to you when you become celibate.
13 Your Focus Shifts
Depending on your reasoning for becoming celibate, you're going to have to dedicate yourself to the cause in order to keep the promise you made to yourself. For example, if you're becoming celibate because you want to understand yourself better, your focus is going to shift internally. If you become celibate because you want to dedicate your life to the church, you're going to shift all of your attention to your higher power. If you were someone who was always "boy crazy" or driven by that type of attention, when you decide to completely take it out of your life, you're going to have to find new interests. Having to focus your attention elsewhere can be a good thing! You can focus on different parts of your life that you paid less attention to and maybe discover new things about yourself. With this new found commitment, you'll be able to realize that there is more to life than men and intimacy. While it is an important part of relationships, it will better you as a person.
12 You Gain Discipline
No one ever said being celibate was easy. In fact, it's probably one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, especially if you're someone who was once extremely active in that area. It's completely normal for human beings to want to get intimate and to even be motivated by it, therefore, it's going to be hard to give it up completely. Even if you're not someone who's addicted to it, you may be someone who's used to having it so you're going to crave it once you delete it from your life. When you don't give into whatever tempts you, you'll find you gain discipline. You'll be able to discipline in other aspects of your life as well. Craving a donut, but know that after you eat it you'll regret it....perfect! You have a new found discipline that helps you out with the bad cravings.
11 You May Have A Hard Time Starting New Relationships
In this day and age, being intimate is a big part of dating and starting new relationships. If you decide to be celibate but still want to have an emotional relationship, you may find it's hard to meet people that understand and support you. The concept of being celibate isn't as widely accepted or welcomed as it used to be and when you meet a guy and tell him about your decision, he may be either turned off or even put off by the idea. You may find your dating pool is limited to people that have made similar life decisions as you. But then again, who wants to be with someone who doesn't accept or understand their beliefs or their way of life? While your dating pool may be small or limited, it also helps you weed out the wrong men for you. The right man will come your way, he will accept you for who you are and want to be with you no matter what.
10 You'll Find New Ways To Express Yourself
There are other ways to show your significant other how you feel about them. Sending some words of endearment, cooking a nice meal, surprising them with a present, or even showing interest in activities they enjoy are all good alternative to expressing yourself other than being intimate. While being intimate is a huge form of communication these days. For example, to show your boyfriend how much you love him, you may sleep with him or other bedroom activity. If you're dating someone, you might've previously gone home with them to "get to know them better." Now that you're celibate, you're going to be forced to find new ways to do these things that don't revolve around this. And while it may be challenging at first, you may discover the new ways you find to show these things are more rewarding and loving on a deeper level.
9 You Realize How Much It Plays A Part In Your Life
You know the old saying, "you never know what you've got 'til it's gone?" Well, it remains true when it comes to intimacy. If you take it of your life, you're going to eventually realize how big of a part it once played in your life. For example, you may discover you used your appeal to get what you wanted, even if it was unintentional. Additionally, because you'll have a clearer vision of the part that it plays in your life, you'll be able to see clearer the part it plays in other people's lives as well. For example, you may realize that every guy you surround yourself with is really only interested in one thing. And the goal in any healthy and loving relationship is to be with a partner who loves you no matter what. So if by eliminating this part of your life affects your relationship or is the only part of your relationship that matters, then it's time to ditch your man. Sorry ladies, as much as you may think you love each other, this will show you his true feelings and you'll be able to see just how much he's willing to sacrifice for you.
8 You Have Less Responsibility
While there is responsibility in making the decision to be celibate, by making the decision, you're also getting rid of a lot of responsibility. How so? First of all, if you're not having it, you're not going to get pregnant. Second, if you abstain from it with other people, you're not going to give anyone the "wrong idea" or confuse intimacy with emotional intimacy. Third, you'll lower your risk of contracting STIs that can be both harmful to your health and wellbeing. Think of all the stress we as women go through when it comes to spending the night with a guy you just met or trying to remember just how safe you and your boyfriend were. While not every woman may stress about these things, it is normal if you do. Think about how great it will feel to wake up after a night out in your own bed instead of waking up in a panic in someone else's bed not sure what you did and how safe it was.
7 You Have Less Distraction
Let's face it: Ideas surrounding intimacy, marriage, and relationships constantly circulate through our minds. Even if we don't intend to make them a focus, they never fail to become one. Therefore, if you make the decision to avoid these things, your life is going to change. Most likely, you won't find yourself daydreaming about that co-worker you've always wanted to sleep with because you know, it just won't happen. At first, it may be hard, but as you get used to your new mindset, you'll find that you'll no longer be bothered by these thoughts or impulses you might've previously had. Think about all the things you can get done because of how little time you spend daydreaming. Cute co-worker, no problem! You'll continue to go about your day, and you'll be a lot more productive in the long run. Who doesn't like productivity, especially at work...and who knows, maybe you'll get that promotion you've been hoping for.
6 You May Face Relationship Problems
If you're in a relationship with someone and you've previously had a normal private life, taking it out of the equation is going to dramatically change the way the two of you connect. If your partner isn't celibate, they may have a hard time adapting to your new way of life. Even if your relationship didn't revolve around it, it's normal for it to be a part of a healthy relationship. Therefore, you and your partner may have a difficult time finding new ways to connect and show each other love and affection. Every relationship goes through something, it's getting through it that becomes difficult. Choosing to become celibate is not the only reason why you'll face difficulties as a couple, so the two of you have to work together to make sure you get through it. And if for some reason it doesn't work out, think of it as an experience and take away what you've learned from it.
5 You Gain Empowerment
It's easy for women to feel taken advantage of or perhaps that guys only want to be with them for one thing. Therefore, if you become celibate, you don't ever have to worry about that happening. It's sad to say that we have to deal with the fact that there are men out there who can't see past this and get to know us on an emotional level. These are the men you don't want in your life and you're better off finding this out sooner rather than later. You take complete control of your life and your body. If you end up becoming emotionally involved with someone, you know they aren't using you for other things because you're not having it. With this, you get to know each other on a deeper level and begin to form a bond stronger than any physical relationship can have. Being celibate is a decision that you alone can make and that in itself is extremely empowering.
4 You "Miss Out" On Certain Experiences
We all fantasize (or at least most of us) about different experiences. And because of certain experiences we've had, we've learned a lot about ourselves, other people, what we like, and what we don't like. On top of that, it can be extremely rewarding and pleasurable. Therefore, if you stop having it, you're going to either miss having it or "miss out" on certain experiences that might've happened if you decided to spend the night with someone. In the larger scheme of things, you may "miss out" on having children or even getting married. You have to think of this as another experience in your life and you can't keep thinking about the what ifs. It is easy to go about life wondering what would have happened if the outcome was different, but what matters the most is your happiness. If this decision is something that makes you happy, then all that other stuff shouldn't matter.
3 You Get A Clearer Vision
When you become celibate, you're obviously going to learn a lot about yourself. What's more surprising, though, is what you might learn about other people you're surrounded by. If you're dating someone and take intimacy out of the relationship, you may find they're not as dedicated to you as you thought they were. Or perhaps you may find that you were mistaking the intimacy you felt with them during the deed for love and, without it, you feel very little connection to them. Either way, you're going to see different aspects of your life in a new light, including the aspects that involve other people. You not only get to see things differently when it comes to your intimate relationships but every type of relationship you have in your life, especially the one you have with yourself. The benefit of getting a clearer vision of things when it comes to relationships in your life is that you're able to come to conclusions and get rid of all the fake and bad relationships you have. If it wasn't for your decision, you might have never noticed the truth about these relationships.
2 You Find Who Your True Friends Are
Just as you may see your partner in a new light, you may also find that the people you thought were your friends aren't as supportive as you previously believed. Why? Because when you become celibate, your lifestyle changes. You may be less interested in going out or hooking up with guys at clubs because of your newfound self-confidence or self-awareness. And while you're still the same person underneath it all, your priorities might change. Therefore, your friends (who still want to go out and have one night stands), might see you as unrelatable or "not as fun," as you once were. Just like a partner, your friends are supposed to be there for you no matter what path or life changing decisions you make. Just because you may no longer be interested in the same type of lifestyle that they are leading, doesn't mean that there are other parts of your friendship that you don't have in common. Your friends should understand that after all, you are still you and that nothing should change!
1 You May Become Closer With The Person You're Seeing
If you decide to abstain from intimate relations but continue being emotionally involved with someone, there's no doubt that your relationship is going to change- especially if you were previously intimately involved with this said person. Why? Because when you take it out of a relationship, the relationship becomes strictly emotional which could really challenge the bond between the two of you. If you and your partner are both celibate, you'll be able to know each other on a real and intimate level- in a way that goes deeper and lasts longer than what you may feel during the deed. And even if you choose to take this vow on your own, your partner should be able to support you. By showing you just how invested he is in the relationship brings you two closer together strengthening the bond you have built and continue to build.