Having sex for the first time isn't all that we expected it to be. It is the biggest emotional roller-coaster ride we ever went on. You're excited, you're nervous, and there are so many thoughts going on in your mind that you start second-guessing your decision to do it in the first place. You can plan and plan until you can't plan no more, but things never run as smoothly as we hoped for.
One thing you always avoided when you were younger was having those "sex talks" with your parents. Turns out those talks could have helped you in the long run, especially when you lost your virginity. If you don't want to turn to your mom for advice (which is totally understandable), we have created a helpful list that contains some things we wish were told before we had sex for the first time.
13 It Might Hurt A Little
The first thing you don't think about when going into having sex for the time is expecting it will hurt. One way it may hurt is if you are not well-lubricated. Yeah sure, a guy may get aroused quickly, but it might take some time for your body to get prepared for the big moment. Being your first time and all, it might not feel too good if you aren't warmed up. Men are often ready before women are, so if you are not quite ready, slow him down a bit. He might not like it, but too bad
12 It Might Be Awkward
Whoever says sex is never awkward most likely never had sex themselves. Losing your virginity can be a very awkward experience. It is most likely because you are new to sex and are not really sure what to expect or really know what to do. An awkward setting can also definitely happen if you are not comfortable with your partner either. Making sure you are comfortable will make for a fantastic experience.
11 "Cherry Poppin"
Most of the time, you don't truly know what "cherry poppin" means until you have sex for the first time. There is so much about the hymen that we didn't know about. Yes, when your hymen breaks it is meant to bleed a little and with a majority of people it usually breaks the first time they have sex. So your "cherry" is your hymen and it is "popped" when your have sex. Mind blown. If you don't know that you might bleed when you lose your virginity that might be little scary for you. You might think that your period just started but nope. Don't worry, your hymen was just teared.
10 Don't Be Afraid To Ask For What You Want Or Don't Want
I know you want your first time to be a beautiful and magical experience where the only communication that is happening between you is with your eyes and some tasteful moaning, but believe me... you are going to want to speak up early and often if things are not going down in a way you're happy with. It's always nice to take control of the situation, guys even like that in a girl. Tell them what to do.
9 Things Could Get Messy
One thing you never thought about losing your virginity is how messy it could really get. I mean, I just mentioned before that when your "cherry is popped" there is a big possibility of blood and lots of it. You could get lucky and not have much but it is just something to be aware of (keep some towels nearby). Another thing, sex is like a workout. Expect some sweat dripping down your face and all over your body. No one said this was a clean experience!
8 Planning It May Not Go Smoothly
Candles lit across your room, rose petals on the bed and Boyz II Men playing in the background. All those things might help the ambiance of your first time, but that is going to be the last thing to worry about. There are so many other things to think about when planning your first night. Are you on birth control? Who is getting the condoms? And where is the best place to get it on? So before you start planning your magical night, think about the more important things that go into it.
7 Do It When You're Ready
There are so many pressures in the world and peer pressure might be one of the worst ones there is. All your friends are doing it, so you obviously feel like you should too. Sex is something you shouldn't force yourself to do. Usually when you force yourself to have sex when you aren't sure about it, you often come out disappointed. When you feel like it is time then that is the right time to go forward with it. Don't do something you'll regret.
6 You Might Be Disappointed
There are chances that you might be disappointed or might not be. Your first time usually doesn't come with fireworks in the air as you climax. It doesn't happen like the fantasy that comes with all those rom-com movies. The reality will most likely have you saying, "That's all?! Are you serious?!" Just don't have any high expectations going into this thing. With more time and experience you definitely won't be disappointed.
5 Switching Positions Ain't Easy
"Switching positions runs just as smooth as it does in the movies," said by no one ever! Sure Ryan Gosling might have made it look super easy in The Notebook as he was lifting Rachel McAdams off the floor, but truth is it usually doesn't go that way. Heads are bumping, limbs are being pulled in all sorts of directions and your clothes are flying everywhere. Don't believe everything you see in the movies. That is one thing everyone should know by now.
4 Takes A Lot More To Reach The Big 'O'
Don't expect to be sounding like Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally when you are losing your virginity. It takes sooooo much more to climax than you know. Women need stimulation, which is sometimes difficult to get while you're trying to figure this whole thing out. That is why you often find women faking the big 'O' when it is taking too long. It all comes with time, soon enough you will figure out what works for you.
3 You Both Won't Finish At The Same Time Like In The Movies
Like I've mentioned before, men and women go at a different pace especially when it comes to sex. Men are all about boasting how long they can last in bed, but it turns out sometimes they are just lying to everyone. Again, for a woman to feel good and climax it definitely takes longer to happen. Just know, if he finishes early don't feel weird. Get him back into it because you're not done yet. Overall, let's just hope your first time partner can last longer than 30 seconds and if he doesn't, don't worry it will get better.
2 Sex Could Make Things Weird In Your Relationship Or Better
So many of us believe that sex will make everything better in our relationship even if you are having problems. Turn out, that is so not the truth. I mean, it could help it and some people rely heavily on that to keep their relationship strong and healthy. For most people, it doesn't turn out that way. A suggestion is if you are losing your virginity to someone just to make your relationship between you two better, don't do it. Your first time will feel better when you are in a healthy partnership. Trust us.
1 Your Life Doesn't Change Afterwards
Losing you virginity is a big life-changing experience, but things all around you won't change much. People won't see you any different. Your grades won't be higher. Your sex-life definitely will be different but don't expect much else to change. The important thing after you have sex for the first time is to make smart decisions. You got the tough part out of the way. Just realize a lot more comes with sex in life. You'll learn that!