The missionary position has the bad reputation of being the most boring sexual position anyone can choose. Also called the male superior position where the man is on top of the woman, it happens to be the position of choice for lazy folks everywhere.
Think about it. After a long hard day at work, you and your partner come home, eat dinner, if you have kids then the two of you take care of their needs, and before you know it, it is time for bed. You both reach the bedroom and flop on the mattress. By this time, neither of you have the energy for a full bedroom, flying off the walls workout. Instead, you both opt for that one position that requires little effort, but also lets the two of you snuggle up together in the comfort of an embrace.
Really, the missionary position has gotten a bad rap from all those young, twist me sideways yoga and acrobatic professionals. Not everyone can stand on their head, perform the wheelbarrow, and some guys just can't lift their gals off the ground without risking a back injury. With the missionary position, we get to avoid all sorts of awful injuries, embarrassments, and strange noises from down there. But that doesn't make the missionary position boring. Far from it.
13 State Laws
All states have their own set of weird, outdated laws. In Florida, for example, oral sex is illegal and no one is allowed to have a sexual relationship with a porcupine. That is not a typo, by the way. Porcupines have rights, too, you know. After reading that, it may not surprise you that the only sexual position allowed in Florida is the missionary position. Of course, you and the person you are with need to be married to each other and at no point is he allowed to kiss your breasts. Long live freedom!
12 A Great Butt Workout
The next time you are on your back and ready to think of England, consider turning this round of missionary sex into a great butt workout. It is easy to do. Each time he pushes towards you, just lift your buttocks into a butt squeeze. As he pulls away, release those muscles. Repeat with the squeezes for a fantastic workout for the bottom and, if you want to be cruel and throw him off his game, count each squeeze out loud. It is guaranteed to tick him off.
11 Most Popular Position
Yeah, we groan about it, say we don’t really like it, and call it boring, but the missionary position remains the most popular position out of all the others out there. Why is that? Probably because it is the old stand-by that everyone goes to when they might not really feel in the mood. It is also the easiest position to do when you are feeling tired and just all around blah. Finally, it also happens to be the easiest position to modify and spice things up a bit.
10 After the Missionary Position
While the missionary position remains the most popular bedroom position in the U.S., our second most popular position is called the female superior position. That is when the woman is on top of the man and it is a common go to position among couples who want to try something other than the missionary standby.
9 Armadillo Style
Armadillos are those strange little mammals that come from Latin America. They are covered in a leather-like armored shell which might be why they also have sex in the missionary position. Chimps are also said to sometimes practice the face to face position, as well as dolphins and sometimes even cats. But, that cannot be any funnier than a pair of ropy poly armadillos getting it on.
8 Face to Face
The missionary position is one of the few positions that allows couples to have face to face sex. It is considered to be an intimate position and for this reason may be why the missionary position remains popular. It allows closeness and intimacy that other positions don’t provide. Eye gazing, an essential for falling in love with someone, can be practiced while in the missionary position with ease and no neck twist. The intensity of the climax is also supposed to increase when a couple practices eye gazing during this love making position.
7 Earliest Depictions
The ancient Greeks had a rich and lively culture. They also liked to depict naked people in various positions on pottery. The missionary position has been found on some of the Greek’s ancient pottery, making it one of the oldest depictions of the missionary position. Did the ancient Greeks invent the missionary position? Almost certainly not. They were just one of the first to capture the position in artwork.
6 Missionary Fossil
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Chungkun Shih has spent over ten years going through hundreds of fossils. One of his most humorous fossil finds was made public in 2013 and shows two insects stuck forever in the missionary position. Apparently, insects go about their business using a wide variety of positions, from side to side, female on top, and male on top. Insect positions are as varied as human positions and have even influenced some of the positions found in the Kamasutra.
5 The Safest Position
Of all the positions we can try out in the bedroom, the missionary position is ranked as the safest position. We are less likely to get hurt and land in the hospital with this position than, say, an overly ambitious version of the doggy style. Let’s face it, the most we women face in this position is messy hair, getting smooshed, and maybe getting our head knocked on the headboard. The guy is in control, but he is also in a fairly relaxed position. No one’s upside-down, hanging from a monkey bar, or holding the other person in the air. Missionary is safe.
4 Middle Ages
During the Middle Ages, the missionary position was the only sexual position permitted by the church. According to the church, sex was only done for making babies and it was not for pleasure. Also, they believed that semen flowed downwards, so the woman had to be on the bottom to capture the semen and become pregnant. All other sexual positions were considered a sin. The theologian and woman hater of the time, Thomas Aquinas said that not only were other positions a sin, they were a crime against nature.
3 The Glowing Triangle
The Kamasutra has its own special version of the missionary position. Called the glowing triangle, both the man and the woman assume the normal position, but then the woman lifts up her pelvis to meet her man’s member. The woman then does all the back and forth motion while he remains still on top. In the exercise world, these are like pelvic lifts and, if you aren’t feeling much in the mood for love making, you can chock this one up as exercise.
2 Skin Contact
One of the best things about the missionary position is that it allows for a lot of skin contact. This is great for getting to know a new lover and it is comforting to couples that have been together for a long time. It is also a warming position that lets couples heat up using each others body heat when the weather has turned cold.
1 Why Is It Missionary?
There are a lot of stories about why the missionary position is called missionary. One popular story is that Christian missionaries would teach this “civilized” sexual position to the natives in foreign lands. Another story says that the position is named missionary because any other sexual position was considered illegal and immoral by the Christian church. However, the missionary term only started showing up in the 1950s and it is unknown how the term got its foothold in the world of sex.
Sources: cosmopolitan.co.za, fitnessmagazine.com, yourtango.com, newscientist.com
